Our Femdom Valentine

Maybe we were just tired after a long week, the next aware moment for me is Saturday morning. Anna is already awake and gone from our bed. My next aware thought is the smell of coffee.

"Hey you. When did you sneak out of bed?"

Anna turns to me from her place at the kitchen counter where breakfast makings are already laid out. "I slept like a baby in your arms Sandi. I'm more rested this morning than I can recall being in a long time."

I walk to her standing by the counter, we unite again with our morning ritual of at least a ten-second hug. Our breathing begins to synchronize and I feel myself relaxing even more. This is our time to reunite as one and it's always a wonderful experience. "Are you okay? That was pretty hard last night. How are you today?"

"Don't fret Sandi. It happened and I'm over it. But it is good for me that you know. It's over, let's move on."

"I feel responsible Anna. I mean, that was stupid about bringing up men."

"Not so much, it's just part of life. And I told you, it was one jerk. I don't hate all men. Fuck, I'm probably as bi as you. I'm just a little more gun shy. I know some good men too, so lighten up on yourself. Like I said Sandi, I think it's good that everything is all out in the open. Now, how about some breakfast?"

"Okay, if you say so Anna. We won't talk about men anymore."

"Hold on there. I never said that. In fact, I think I've been saying the exact opposite. Bisexual ... you do know what that means don't you?"

"Uh, yeah. But Anna, are you sure? You still have thoughts about men?"

"Anna to Sandi — that's what I've been saying. Cock ... good. Some guys ... assholes. Is that simple and clear enough?"

I still can't tell if she's actually being honest, or just trying to put on her tough mask and push it all under a rug. But it's clear what she wants. "It's clear Anna. It makes me even more proud of you ... you're the strongest woman I've ever known. But you didn't kiss me good-morning yet, you only hugged me."

Somehow, I feel I won with that last jab — she walks to me and takes care of our morning kiss. "I love you Anna. It scares me that I love you so much."

I step back to look at her face to face. "Why would you say that Sandi? Why does loving me scare you?"

"I don't know — like maybe this can't last." I look into her eyes, "I've never loved like this. What will happen to us? I don't know, maybe I'm just messed up this morning."

I draw Sandri to my breast and hold her tight. I have no idea what's got her so stirred up. She's younger, it's harder — she's afraid that she's going too deep, loving too much. She's afraid of being hurt. "Baby, look at me. Love is impossible to plan for or to even understand very much. It just happens. Look at us. We met at a bar, strangers with nothing in common. We didn't go there to find love. But we danced together, then talked and now — I'm not even sure how — we are here living together and sleeping in the same bed. And at some point we both said, I love you. It's magic baby. You just have to trust and hold on ... and be true to your feelings. Does that make any sense?"

"Yeah, I hear you Anna. I know it's impossible to know what might happen. I'm just a little insecure this morning."

"It'll pass. I'll make it pass. Let's eat and I bet we both feel better."

*****

It is such a pretty day, and I really want to break the spell that's settled over us, "Sandi, I think we should pack a picnic lunch and go for a drive. The beach is calling and it's been awhile since we visited Yachats."

Ignoring everything else that tries to keep us from the beach, we throw ourselves together, grab the few things we need, and hit the road west out of town.

One of the things about a drive through the Coastal Mountains is that it leaves little else to do except talk and watch Mother Nature's beauty as it streams like a movie past the windows. The winding road through such rugged mountains always makes me wonder how the pioneers made it through. It's a beautiful day and by the time we're half way to the Coast Highway 101, we've sort of run out of things to talk about. My thoughts return to Sandi's comment about finding a man to 'do stuff to'. Intrigued by her choice of words, I blurt out, "So tell me more Sandi. What would you do to a man if you had one naked?"

"You sure you want to talk about men on such a pretty day Anna?"

"Don't even try to go there. I told you, that's in the past. Yes, I want to know what you fantasize about."

"Things that sound good in your head sound silly when you say them." I try to deflect Anna, knowing she usually gets her way regardless.

"That's not true. We share fantasies all the time, and they most often get us pretty excited. Come on. I want to know. I'll tell you, if you tell me."

"Promise? You got to promise Anna."

"Okay, I promise. I'll even go first, if it makes it better."

"I'm waiting."

"I'm thinking, don't rush me Sandi. Okay, now we both have to promise to not laugh too hard. It''s kinda vulnerable sharing some things. You promise not to laugh Sandi?"

"I promise. Now spit it out."

"Rules. You have to tell me one thing if I tell you one."

"Okay, agreed. Now quit stalling. It was your idea Anna, don't chicken out now."

"I'm not. Just making sure you don't. So, one of the things I'd like to do is make you lick my clit with his cock in me. Would you do it?"

"That's a no-brainer — of course I'd do that Anna. I'd love to do that!"

"Hmmm, I may need to make notes of this. Your turn Sandi."

"I want to make him strip while we watch, and you and I are still dressed. Then I want to bend him over a chair, put lube on his ass and use the strap-on to let him know how it feels on the receiving end of it. But, he can't come until we say so. Would you do that Anna?"

"Another no-brainer, we'd take turns on him. I agree, it would be important to keep him from coming too fast. We'd have to figure out how to do that for sure. Okay, my turn. So, he's still naked. After we fuck him in the butt, you make him crawl over to me while I'm sitting with my legs opened wide. He can't ask any questions, and must wait for your command. Hmm ... first I lift my foot up close to his face, then you tell him to kiss it. He hesitates, and you tell him it's either kiss it or get dressed and get out. How's that sound?"

"Oh, I like that one Anna. I love that he has to wait to do anything to either of us until we say so. We'll work him into such a mess, he'll do anything we tell him. After I made him kiss your feet, which I really like, I'll make him kiss other things. And next, he has to kiss your ass. He has to kiss it right on the hole, and stick his tongue in it. You like that one?"

"Damn, Sandi. I might be liking this too much. I've never really thought much about having a man-slave serving us. I wonder if it's really possible? Would you actually do stuff like this?"

"Would you?"

"I asked you first Sandi."

The scenery has been passing by unnoticed for some time as we've bantered back and forth in our fantasy world. Now, I have to consider Anna's more serious question —would I do this? — Why wouldn't we? Is there any risk to us in playing with a guy? "First off, yes. I can see us doing this. But there are a lot of unknowns. I'm clueless of how to make it real. And my one concern is that you, or me, might somehow get hurt in it all. Do you think it's risky?"

"I think it could go wrong if we aren't careful. The trickiest part would be to find the right guy. I'm not attracted to really wimpy guys Sandi, are you?"

"Not really, no. But it seems like what we are describing is a pretty wimpy guy. This is all new stuff for me, but I do like the way it makes me feel. But maybe there's not many guys who'd really go for this. I guess it would all have to be sort of a play acting thing, wouldn't it? Have you ever heard of anything like this Anna?"

"I've never been involved in it Sandi, but yes. I have heard of this kind of play, mostly at The Roundtable and online. It almost gets into the fringes of BDSM. But what we're talking about would be more of a dominatrix type of thing. Which means, the guy would probably have to be a submissive personality type."

"So, we have to settle for a wimp? Bummer. Maybe our fantasy is too far out there, unless we settle for a wimp."

"I'm not sure about that Sandi. Again, going by what I've read and heard, a guy doesn't have to be a wimp to be a submissive personality. Like I said, I've read actual accounts of seemingly macho guys who just need to let loose once in a while, and let someone else be the boss. Regular guys, men you'd never even guess would be that way. I've talked to some people at the club, not in much detail though. Are we really thinking about making this real?"

"Wow. I don't know Anna. You think we should?"

"You always do that — make it my decision. But I get it, you think I know more about this stuff. So yes. Yes, we can think about it in a more serious way. Finding the right guy may prove challenging, but I know for a fact he's out there. We'd just have to find him. One guy at work comes to mind. He works in a different department than me, and I don't know him real well. I think he's either gay or a submissive, I never gave it much thought before. I don't read guys all that great, but he's ... gentle. He just comes across as calm and gentle. I'm pretty sure he'd be safe and harmless. But I have no idea if he'd be interested."

"Yeah, you're right. I do lean on you to make all the decisions. I don't mean to, just feels right I guess. Maybe we need to slow down? It's just fantasy talk. Still, it is pretty hot ... and I like the idea of a gentle guy a lot."

"Let's just say it's something to think about Sandi. I'm not opposed, if we can find the right guy. That's a big if though, and I'm just glad I have you. Any guy would just be for fun. But you ... you're special. I love you."

"I love you too Anna. More than I can say. We have to be sure some guy wouldn't mess us up. He has to know it's all just for fun, no strings attached."

"I totally agree. We'll just let it cook for awhile, then see how it tastes later. If it still sounds like fun, we'll dig deeper."

"That's why you're the boss Anna. Look, we're almost there. Maybe we can find that private place in the rocks like we did last time. I hope the tide is out. It's good we got out, it's a lot easier to talk on a trip, isn't it?"

"Me too Baby, a road trip was a good idea. And you know, I doubt we would have ever talked through the thing about a guy if we'd stayed home. You're right, driving makes it easier to talk, since there's not much else to do. So I'm happy we came and happy we talked about it."

"I'm glad too Anna. It sounds kinda crazy, but we both know that probably lots of people are doing the same thing right now. We can think about our man-slave and decide later. The rest of the day, I just want to think about us."

We do find our secret cove of ragged lava rock, empty except for the sound of the surf, a nice breeze coming in off the water, and warm soft sand as if it were waiting for our return. We're lucky it's this nice for this season of the year. Sandi is as beautiful as ever. Her bikini shows through the long flowing cover-up she's wearing. I feel the smile come to my face as she lightly dances across the sand covered floor of our secret palace. She's so graceful, and her dance lessons were certainly not wasted. As I watch her, a small silent prayer comes unbidden. The only draw back of having something so valuable is it brings that fear of loosing it. I do as I always do, push it back out of sight. The day is too glorious to let ghosts ruin it.

*****

Back at home, it seems the subject of our man-slave now has a life of its own. "Yeah, I guess we could even make him fuck us, and not the other way around. Makes me wonder if he could keep it up. Are you really serious about this Sandi, or is it all just talk?"

"I don't know Anna. It just sort of rolled out. I'm not sure how we even started to talk about it again. We were just talking and then it came up. Is it even possible to make him fuck us, even if we wanted to do that?"

"Baby, I think what we're getting into here is something a good ways beyond vanilla sex. To do something like this, we'd have to find a willing sub-male. I've been around enough to know they are out there. There's clubs and groups in some of the larger cities, you could find such men there. Outside of that, I'm not sure. I've just always turned my desires to other women — more submissive women, who desire what I have to offer."

"You mean, women like me?"

"That's right, Sandi. And you know it's what we both want and need — we work together. We literally complete each other. At least I know you complete me."

"It's not just you. I feel — I know, it's the same for me. Maybe this is all just silly talk. We have each other, and that's enough. I hope I didn't make it weird Anna. I was just talking."

"No, no, no. This is good talking. Honest talking is always good. You actually have me thinking about it baby. Let's not bury it, maybe just let it simmer for a bit longer. Now let's turn out the lights and spend the rest of this evening on things not so complicated."

With those words, Anna rolls on top of me and kisses my lips. What would I be without her? My arms wrap around her like a life raft as my legs open for her. She keeps me safe as the cloud of confusion over men spends its last energy before being forgotten. "Yes," I whisper in her ear.

"Yes, what?" Anna asks, lifting her head to look at me.

"Yes, I want the strap-on tonight."

Anna smiles down on me, "All this talk about fucking men has you turned on, doesn't it?"

"It was just talk Anna. But you're real and seem pretty turned on by it too."

I can see it in her eye and know we haven't finished this discussion. Maybe for tonight other things are more urgent, but I know that look. "What I'm turned on by is you getting down between my legs and licking me until I say you can stop. Are you going to do that?"

"Yes. I want to do that for you."

"You do a good job, and you'll get my cock tonight."

I really do feel like being penetrated hard tonight. I also love her making it clear where I belong, as I crawl down into position to pleasure my woman with my tongue and fingers. Ever since we met and became lovers, it's been one long roller-coaster ride of sexual discoveries. Anna has opened my eyes to some of my own truth. Maybe tonight my thoughts brought something more to her. My mind is split between her sweet feminine taste on my lips and tongue, and thoughts of doing nasty things to her and some guy who has slipped into our lair. But, her skills and my own need focuses me back to my promised reward for licking her to fulfillment ... yes, a very satisfying night.

After giving Sandi her reward of a good fuck, she's completely spent — sound asleep next to me. My thoughts return again to her bringing up the possibility of finding a man for us to play with. I have to force myself to be rational — to not let jealousy cloud my thinking. Am I not enough for her? The question keeps repeating like a vinyl record that's stuck.

Was I too hard on her with the strap-on? I think it was the hardest I ever did her. But fuck it, I'm aroused by it all too. I'm afraid. I'm afraid she's getting tired of me. I've tried getting this close before — it never works out. Once they're done with me, they're done. I can't make her stay. But I don't have to help her find a man either. I wish I was just a total lesbian. I really don't want a man ... until I do. It's impossible! I just wish it was all easier ... people are just so damn complicated. I wonder if she loves me like I love her? It's late when the arguments finally wear themselves out and this day ends.

*****

— The Agreement

"You're sure we're ready?" I ask Anna.

"As ready as we'll ever be Sandi. We've been fleshing it all out for a month. I can't think of anything else to say. It's either pee, or get off the pot time, doncha think?"

"Okay. You go feel him out Anna. If you think it might work out, I'm with you. You lead, I'll follow — unless he's really cute, then I get first dibs!"

"I'll feel him out. But you get to sample him when, and if, I say so. Don't make me embarrass you in front of him. It might shock him too much, if he has to see me pull your pants down for a spanking the first time we all meet. That is, if we all meet up. That's a big if Sandi, try not to get your hopes up too high. I'll call you later."

I hug and kiss her, then send Anna off to work and to possibly meet up with this Craig guy. As I finish getting dressed, my stomach tells me how nervous I really am. I mean, we're actually doing this. Anna is on a fishing trip for, as she calls him, our man-toy. I can barely remember how this all got started. But, neither of us can deny our interest.

As I stand in front of the mirror finishing up my make-up, I look into the eyes looking back at me. Mom and Dad would be shocked. But I'm no longer fighting it. Even before I finally figured myself out better, I knew I was attracted to both women and men. Now it's shifted to liking women more. Maybe if I'd had a brother, maybe I would have understood guys better. "But I have to have the connection," I say to the reflection looking at me. "The thread connecting our hearts is more important ... it's easier with her."

We don't flaunt it, and I'll never abandon the one I love either, no matter what they say. Maybe my folks will never bring it up — Anna and I are just roommates, after all.

Glancing at the time, I wrap up both my dressing and my thoughts and hurry on for another workday.

*****

— The Inspection

"Hi Craig, I haven't seen you in quite a while — how's life outside the office?"

"Hey Anna, I missed seeing you too. I kind of liked our little work group. But, it's been busy around here for all of us I guess."

"I know. Once the group was finished, I lost track of everyone. But, I thought of you today, and thought I'd drop by and say hello. Since we're both here, got any plans for lunch?" I hold my breath; Am I really hoping now that he says no? Can I really bring this up if he says yes to lunch?

"That'd be nice Anna. I'll treat. Wanna walk down to Ray's now?"

"Sure, Craig. It's close to lunch and a good time for me."

It's only a couple of block's to the diner. How do I bring this up? I should have planned this out better ... maybe this is just an ice breaker and I shouldn't jump into the real issue? That's it, just feel him out. See if he's as nice and gentle as I thought.

This casual banter as we walk to lunch is taking up just enough of my attention to keep me from thinking about my real mission. Did Sandi rope me into this, or am I really interested? I'm really off of my home turf here, seducing men was never a skill I practiced much. It's already sort of fatiguing. Just give it a chance, it'll probably end up going nowhere.

As we settle for a table by the front window, Craig once again shows his manners — "Why, thank you Craig. You must have been raised in a different world than me. I can't remember the last time a man held my chair."

"Old habits, I guess. I often think I'm a throwback out of the past, but my folks tried to show me and my brother how to treat a lady. I don't even know I'm being old fashioned, that's how bad it is."

His shy chuckle tells me he's a little nervous too and I feel myself relaxing. "Well, I appreciate a sophisticated gentleman. I know so little about you, even though we've talked a few times. Are you married? Is Eugene your hometown?"

"No to both questions. Never found the right woman yet, I guess. And it's been kinda hard to meet people here. This really is a college town, along with all of what that means. All these kids make me feel old, and I'm only thirty-two. I guess I'm too much of a loner to get out and really make this my hometown. But, on the other hand, I just can't get enough of the mountains. And I moved here after college, so it's home now. Born and raised in Kansas, and don't miss that one little bit."