All Comments on 'Our First Time'

This is all meant as constructive commentary. We love to encourage new writers. But this is only two sentences above the minimum they will allow for publication. It is a not-very graphic description of sex between two non-entities we couldn't care less about. All we know is that it is a male and a female of uncertain age or marital status (except not to each other), having sex for an indeterminate time period in what might or might not be their first time. Or their last time. Or if they used condoms or even if she was pre-menopause. We don't know ANYthing about these two, so why do we give a crap about what they did for an indeterminate period of time and with no clue there is a future ahead of them. Please make them into STORIES with real lives for us to care about, and do keep 'em coming.

Oh, I forgot to say that it is flawlessly word crafted, with nary a single letter out of place. Easy to read, just not very suspenseful.

An outline for an actual story to be written later?