All Comments on 'Outback'

Wow, great story. Almost wish you had burned Sally, Tony, John, Cheryl and Brian though.....

Great story, the pollen is making my allergies act up 🥲. Would like to have met Cathy's brother at least but other than that nothing else great story and will definitely be reading again every once in a while

I think this is the first tie I've done this!!

5*!

Ok, I have no idea how many times this story brought tears to my eyes. I have to confess I also cried several times. This is going to be at the top of my favourites. What a fantastic read.

It is even a better read again!

I just finished this for the second time. It’s one of my favorites. Thank you again.

2nd time reading it..Still brilliant

Reading this is the best therapy had for years.

My therapy for past 16mths is few pages to complete journaling my 11th book.

Greatly helped my processing 73years of life's merrygoround.

took me maybe 40 minutes to finish this, one of the greatest stories I have read

Very well done! My favorite story of all-time!!!

No apologies needed. This is an excellent story, well told and with a compelling thesis. Thank you for an impressive and well constructed romance, well worth all of five stars, more if they were available.

Brilliant even the second time arround! Full marks. 5-Stars!

One if your best stories, like Legionnaire, Trawling Atlantis, Thin line between....!!!

Umption Thank you for this wonderful stoty. Easily 5 stars.

/

My only complaint was your assumption non- Australian readers know what RSL CLUBS were.

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I was lucky to run across this story. I was unfamiliar with your stories, as most of your stories belong to categories I don’t read. Luckily this story was listed among similar stories for a recent story. I am so glad I followed the link to your story. You are now among my favorite authors,and this story is among my favorites. Thank you!

Umption Thank you for this wonderful stoty. Easily 5 stars.

/

My only complaint was your assumption non- Australian readers know what RSL CLUBS were.

/

I was lucky to run across this story. I was unfamiliar with your stories, as most of your stories belong to categories I don’t read. Luckily this story was listed among similar stories for a recent story. I am so glad I followed the link to your story. You are now among my favorite authors,and this story is among my favorites. Thank you!

OMG! This was your first romance story? 40,000 words of pain, trials, tribulations, healing and above all else love. Mark is the ideal man who was not pretentious or perfect. The love that he had for Katie showed so much from the very beginning. I'm glad that John, Cheryl, and Brian just like Sally and Tony did not succeed in their monster plan. To have such a toxic family would bury weaker people. Thank God for Bill, Ely and above all else Cathy who showed Mark what a true loving family is. Please write more romance stories. This one made me cry and laugh and ponder how anyone could survive what Mark did? Your characters had depth and hope and again above all else healing love. Please write more romance stories. You are quite gifted.

Very enjoyable story,if a trifle long.

Amazing. Truly a wonderful story. Having experienced plenty of betrayal in my life it hit close to home.

One of thr best stories I've read.

Enjoyable start to finish.

Really Good one, Thanks!

Wonderful story, thoroughly enjoyed it all the way through.

This was an amazing read!

I loved the emotion that flowed through this story, the betrayal, his recovery, the long time in having his daughter come back to him. The descriptions of his eyes….

I could not put this story down and ended up not sleeping much last night as I had to finish it all in one sitting.

Bravo, Bravo!

My absolute only complaint on this tale is not going after the ex. If it were just cheating and the like I’d have ended it this way too but the kidnapping? Fuck no.

Very well done indeed. I'm not sure why we had to introduce the older Katie as a lesbian. I understand the genre as the father of a lesbian, but deep down inside I would have preferred his story had a straight daughter and son-in-law. I'm not sure this author is well acquainted with the gay culture, but it is rather unusual for both women in a lesbian marriage to have children. Most choose adoption and those that have children born to them have one act as the bearer of the children and the other the more "fatherly" mother.

The story was long, but I'm not sure a quick pass at the mental recuperation of Mark would have worked. He was so involved in emotions with Katie that it did take a while for him to get through that. I thought that Mark's inability to locate Katie was implausible. From all the technological descriptions of their communications later I assumed that the time frame was contemporary and a good PI would have been able to track Sally and Katie down without too much ado. Someone would have ratted them out and disclosed Tony's name and from there it would have been easy. What Mark could have done considering the resources massed against him is another story.

My usual criteria for story excellence were well met: plot development, character development, dialog, grammar and general credibility. My only nit to pick is the almost complete inability to properly use "I" and "me". I sometimes give a paragraph lesson on how to do it, but since this is so old I don't think anyone will be reading this commentary so I'll skip it. But I will say that I do think this is well worth 5*.

Wonderful heartfelt story.

Overall I really liked this one a 5! I would have turned the info over to the police, kidnapping goes beyond the pale of forgiveness.

I hope someone has read a similar story where the hero has similar jackasses as parents, Professors at the university, he connects with an heiress of one of the largest stations in Australia and he comes back into town with her as a fiancee for a convention or some sort as I remember and rubs it into the parents noses. I would like reread it so if any can direct me to it please email me at mike.spivey@att.net.

There is a nice 9k word story somewhere in here.

We've got a random lesbian daughter. The man getting snipped for no real reason. And a lot of the scenes felt over the top.

This could have been like 5 pages if we didn't bellyache and bemoan how bad daddy is. I don't talk to my dad. He isn't a nice guy. You hear it from me once and then we move on. You move forward and what's in the past is superfluous.

Brlliant

Thankyou for a very good story

Sadly you have repeatedly made a mistake regarding names. Proper names of people should be capitalized. Even common nouns, when used as names, need to be capitalized.

She is a munchkin. He is my daddy. (Not a name.)

I love you, Munchkin. Come here, Daddy. (Is a name.)

Dam that was a very good story. Thank you for your hard work and time. Gave 5 stars but think 2x that would be true.

One of my all-time favorites on the site. Makes you want to believe there's more than just bad out there.

And I thought romance stories were just female porn. But, as unrealistic as the story was, it was still easy to buy into, so credit the writer.

A profound story of a family - apart and then together again.

***** stars!

A little too long - but I wouldn't take any thing out!

Burninglove

One of the best stories on Literotica. Yes, there are many good ones, this just hit home with me. Thanks.

Great story!! Would make a good Netflix movie.

One of the better stories on this site but there again I do do agree to a certain degree with burningloves comment. I don’t mind long stories but I think you could’ve cut it by two chapters with the same ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️Result

There is so much good in this story. My interest was held all the way through which is really saying something for a story of this length. However, some of the logic is baffling for a modern story, and a lot of sentences are a bit of a jumble. Below are some examples that stood out for me in particular.

"I had no problem singing along to the radio considering I was the only car on the road." Why would she have had a problem singing along to the radio if she wasn't the only car on the road? It might not appear to be much, but seemingly inoccuous statements like that can really pull the reader out of the moment.

"I was wondering if you'd like to join us?" This is either a declarative sentence or a question, but not both. Declarative sentence: "I was wondering if you'd like to join us." Question: "Would you like to join us?"

"I glanced at Kelly and used my eyes." Used my eyes to what? Do something besides glance at her? Is part of that sentence missing?

"Buckled in tightly, I drove them to the same primary school as they were all in different year groups." The kids all being in different grades does not tell us that they went to the same school. We can't draw that conclusion.

"In a way, he was experiencing everything with her and Michelle that he'd missed with me." That wasn't happening "in a way." That's what was actually happening.

"Our kids were also old enough to know they had two mothers and no dad." I hate to break it to you, but when kids grow up with two moms, they already know that they have two moms. Just like when kids grow up with a mom and a dad, or a mom and a dad that aren't married or living together, or only a mom, or only a dad, etc... It's not a big reveal. That statement sticks out big time as ignorant nonsense and, tacked onto the end of a story about love and hope, was supremely disappointing to read.

I don't see the value in having the daughter marry before fleeing England. The fact that it was to a woman is wholly irrelevant. It's like a little side quest element that was thrown in the mix at the last minute that unnecessarily made a busy part of the story busier and threw a lot more detail at the reader for little to no payoff.

Not being able to find a better PI and not pursuing kidnapping charges were two more of the most questionable plot elements in my mind. The villains were written well. Despite their audacious actions, each one of them was believable. Tears came to my eyes a few times. The happy ending was well-deserved and satisfying. This was a great read.

Bloody marvelous

As a dad who has had children illegally taken out of country, I know some similar pain. Luckily not the family backstabbing.

You have captured the heartache very well and the joy of a protracted reunion.

Five stars

Really good story. I enjoyed the switch of perspective. Sometimes it can remove some of the surprises in a story but you managed it really well.

yay 5xxx well done

Well done!

I just want to say, thank you for the amazing story.

too long, too many characters, too confusing!

Tried liking the story but could not relate to it much. For the core idea, the story was too long. Aspects like everybody (and I mean everybody) were out to betray the MC makes no sense. No tangible reasoning on why wife deserted him and why would MC's family help her. Throwing that daughter was a lesbian for a twist was unnecessary.

So Sally never actually divorced Mark to avoid a legal paper trail. Add Bigamy to her rap sheet. When cathy was acting so secreive about a surprise for Mark's 38th nirthday, I pretty much guessed it would be Katie showing up.

All in all, a n entertaining tale

Story resonated with me. I had some of the issues you wrote about and I can say for sure they affected me all my life. I wish I got the kind of closure you wrote about. Thank you for a great story! Mike

2nd read and excellent !!!!!!!

Great story. It’s long but it covers a lot of territory. Thanks, UltimareSin, for sharing.

5⭐️s.

Dee

A truely delightful story. 5*

Some parts of the plot were a bit much, others a little lacking (not going after the perps) but all in all a very well executed yarn, and the writing managed to grip me at times.

Great story, I've read it through a couple of times and still love it. Only 1 major mistake which doesn't really matter, but in the section where Katie first talks, you refer to Sally as Sally Samuels, which if she was a fiancee, would be wrong. Thank you for writing this, 5*, more if it was allowed.

A broken hearted,busted knuckle, old kiwi thought that was bloody good

Thank you for a truly wonderful story.

Fantastic.

Never worry about the odd error. I've read many books from big name authors that were professionally edited and found he odd spelling error...

This was an excellent story....

The unpunished malevolence of Mark's biological family and the kidnappers kind of overshadows the romance for me a bit after the second time reading. The kidnapping and complete indifference from ALL is friends and family are just not believable. Katie would have been found and Sally, et al. would be doing life in prison. Nice romance but at even 40000 words it felt unfinished.

20 stars is just a start! Simply wonderful! The low-life's got their just due, Katie and her daddy were reunited, and before that, he was married to Cathy. As soon as they met, she had a husband, and she, with her mom&dad, made him whole again. Please write more like this!!

A very well thought out and planned story. A great "feel good" ending. Having Sally, Tony, John and Cheryl prosecuted would neither add to nor detract from the story. Just them living in fear with the threat of being imprisoned is a very good punishment.

As a Kiwi, I find there is a certain familiarity that comes from Aussie writers that makes them more easier read and enjoyable than stories littered with common Americanisms. Not that there is anything necessarily wrong with Americanisms, they are just unfamiliar too me. As a non American I know when reading that I am missing out on nuances and parochial extra meanings.

In this story I loved the use of the word "dunny". Try and explain all humour, the added on meanings and inferences of that word to a non antipodean. It would just take too long.

Oh yeah. 5 stars.

Freaking amazing.

Thanks for a great story.

-jog

Not sure if this was a Romance story or not. But it is one he'll of a story. Thanks for sharing it. This was my 4th time reading this and it was maybe more powerful this time.

Could have gone in a numbef of categories including loving wives or novels and novellas but probably best here as the story hinges on Cathy saving Mark and the romance and love between them.

Fantastic story with many moving moments. Yes, there were a few errors but nowhere near enough to spoil this wonderful story of undying love between Mark and Katie as well as Mark and Cathy.

I gave five stars I feel you missed a chunk you could have put in but it was fantastic thanks

What a beautiful story. Katie was a total badass! Fuck yeah...Katie!!! :-)

I wish you would have included one additional page dedicated to Katie & Mark dropping the legal thunder on that bitch Sally & Tony. It wouldn't have needed dialogue and courtroom theatrics. Just generalities like which organizations Katie would have had to get in touch with. In the US, where I live, I would know it's the FBI who would handle Katie's kidnapping, but I'm not sure of the organizations & agencies that handle those things in Australia & the UK.

Watching the two of them be sent to prison would have been so wonderful. That's precisely what would happen in a case like this. Forged documents, changing the girl's name - I can't remember if they "legally" changed Katie's name to Belinda or if that's just what they wrote down on her school forms and other required documents. Oh, there would have been so much evidence and it would have been so sweet to know that Mark's piece-of-shit parents would probably be charged as accessories. Then maybe a quick paragraph or two about Mark visiting them in prison, with Katie, and laughing in their pathetic faces.

Honestly...the story is perfect as it's written. I hated Sally, Tony and Mark's entire family except for Kelly so it's not surprising I would have liked to see them get what they deserved.

Well done, UltimateSin.

Enjoyed it the first time and so very glad that I read it again .

Sally and Tony - waiting years for the police to knock on the door, living in fear all that time. Revenge level: Genius!

Wonderful story, had me tearing up at times, really enjoyed the ending. thanks so much.

Sorry but no star. The main story was the best one that I have read to-date but the whole thing was, for me, ruined by the ludicous section on Katie. What ever made you write that? With so many possibilities open to you, to finished a brilliant story In such a way is to say the least disappointing. Did you just get tired of writing it or what?

Please re-visit the end sections and while I understand the need to be inclusive reconsider the lesbian section as that just doesn't belong.

Really sorry about this review but it stands as a measure of disappointment I'm feeling.

Would really love to hear your thoughts.

Just re-read this story and it's still 5 start for me...

I get why you might have hesitated putting it into the Romance category, but it's really a question of perspective and what you focus on.

I suppose it could have gone into Loving Wives, plenty of stories there that transition from heartbreak to romance, but honestly, I'm comfortable with it being here...

Also, you need to write more romance stories... You're good at it!

Ignore the Homophobes. A simple and sweet story

Worth every word!

The other children need to be contacted. She is their best chance at being good people.

loved the story 5 *. sorry for the following rant. phobia is fear of something not the same as dislike. there was a comment about homophobes showing illiteracy. they should have said anti lesbian. calling people transphobes the way most people use it is also incorrect.

Loved the entire story. You are a great story teller- -keep it up.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Again.

This is definitely the best story I've ever read on this site. Keep up the great work!

Probably one of most favourite stories from the website. I have read it multiple times over the years and regardless, still shed a tear at some of the more poignant spots.

A wonderful story and that from someone who reads an extraordinary number of the offerings that appear on this site. This was a 5 all the way through! The author held my keen interest all the way as the characters came alive and the plot held me enthralled throughout 12 episodes and 40,000 words. I would probably class this as a classic and probably the best I have read here in over 8 years. Extremely well done!

Absolutely brilliant. Well done . I’m definitely adding it as a favorite. Literotica has so many talented authors . Again thank you for sharing this amazing work of art.

Great story telling. Enjoyed it very much.

One (technical) issue hurts your writing IMO:

You often confuse the subject and the direct object in a phrase. Not once or twice, but one or two dozens of times throughout the story.

It produces un-elegant prose, but more often it really switches around the meaning, or causes confusion as to what is actually being said.

Random example from this last page:

-- "You've done so much more than that," she whispered, hearing the catch in her voice. --

The only subject in this phrase is "she". It therefore describes a person who, while whispering, hears the catch in her own voice.

I'm pretty sure M hearing the catch is meant, so this one is not too confusing, but it hinders reading: one needs a second take to double check if they read and/or understood correctly.

A technicality of course, it doesn't harm the story deeply, but it does take one out of the 'flow'. And is easy to remedy..

Great work otherwise, tx!

Another example:

-- Slipping into the passenger seat of my ute, she quickly learned what the outback truly looked like, glancing at her every so often to watch her reaction. --

Again, there's only one subject in this phrase, namely 'she' (who quickly learned, and did the slipping). She therefore automatically also did the 'glancing.. ...to watch her (own!) reaction', making for an odd sentence and some code breaking before reading can continue...

Second paragraph after the previous example:

-- Pulling into the driveway, Kelly gasped at the size of the homestead, chuckling away as I explained that going from that to the edge of the northern boundary would take hours. --

You seem to assume that the subject that 'gasped’ (Kelly) and does the 'chuckling' will automatically be understood to be someone else than the one who does the 'pulling'.

This is not the case however, as grammar provides for this.

Phrased like this, the grammar put Kelly behind the wheel. If you meant the protagonist was behind the wheel w/Kelly riding shotgun, provide an idiomatic clue to indicate so.

An easy trick to check for these errors is, in your mind, putting back the word 'while' (the leaving out of which really is what's going on when you use a present participle in this way) before every time you apply this '-ing' form, like so:

-- WHILE pulling into the driveway, Kelly gasped at the size of the homestead, WHILE chuckling away as I explained that going from that to the edge of the northern boundary would take hours. --

That way the subject is more explicitly implied, and in this case it immediately becomes clear you need to add "While i was" (or something to that effect) to "pulling", in order to make clear there's two subjects here, do-ING two different things..

Cheers

Not my usual read on here, but thoroughly enjoyed it. An easy 5 star

[06.06.23]

Nth re-read and as the father of two boys, the part about the GF kidnapping the daughter still gets me misty-eyed.

Now I usually don't respond to previous comments...buuut @terydactil (sp?) - SORRY (NOT SORRY) that the inclusion of a lesbian relationship disturbed your delicate sensibilities. Lesbians exist, and I hypothosise that the inclusion of the relationship is show how the MC is a far more accepting parent that his CVNT parents were.

Still 11/10!!!!!!

I realized very early on that I had read this story a long time ago, but I enjoyed it thoroughly this time also. Since Literotica saves your rating and doesn't allow you to change it I saw that I rated it 5* and was content with that. There were too many comments for me to spend the time searching for my earlier comment, but I'm sure the same two things bothered me then as they did today. One was the completely unnecessary inclusion of the lesbian relationship. Did absolutely nothing to enhance the plot. The second was your mastery of the "I/me" dilemma. You consistently got each example of it wrong. If you are still writing and you come up with a chance to use "I" or "me" just go the way that looks wrong to you and you'll undoubtedly get it right. Liked it then and liked it now regardless.

Oh my god! Thank you for this. While I’m a pervert deep down I’m also a lover of hallmark stories. This is a literotica version of that. I laughed, I cried, I got angry right along with the characters. Thank you for this story. Mike

I feel like I hit the jackpot when I opened this story and instantly realized that I had read it before. I remembered how my emotions overwhelmed me the first time reading it.

Somehow the story tore at my heart even more the second time around.

The finest story I've ever read on Literotica.

It would be so easy to dismiss the quality of this epic story because it is hosted on a lowly pornsite. How wrong could anyone be ? The characters, plot and cliff hanger are all carried along with good pace. The sex when needed was described in just the right detail. The love is felt from the first chapter. Anger, dismay and sorry are only some of the emotions that I went through. This story should be in a novel to introduce more readers to the quality of your work. It is doubtful that you will ever right a piece of this quality again. I would like to say Thank you for your time writing and for sharing your work. I am going now to search for more of your work and hope you prove me wrong. Thank you.

This is a Hallmark After School Special...

Every read brings happiness and tears. It is a joy to read. Thank you.

Loved it. From the depths of despair to the heights of joy.

LMJ

Un-fucking-believeable.

One of the best stories I have ever read.

Just had to keep reading until I finished it.

5 stars plus

Crap. The premise of a strange woman walking off with another man's child and no one caring is BS. Generally, it's called kidnapping and police get very upset about it. Major felony.

The story is very well written and the main characters are fantastic. The only criticism would be the friends all being for Sally leaving. It's too much and makes the story less believable because you either have to think everyone around Mark thought this was a good idea so something must be wrong with him, or you have to think Mark surrounded himself with a bunch of assholes on top of the assholes he had to deal with in his family. I think the reasoning behind it was to try and utterly destroy him so he has no one and is alone, but I think losing his daughter was enough for that and he could've still ended up where he did. Removing that little detail or simply having sympathetic friends makes this story much more grounded and believable imo. Anyways that's my two cents, however much it's worth.

Loved it wish I could have given more than 5stars one hiccup I had with the story was the epilogue got confusing over who was talking

Outstanding.

5 Stars.

Average

It kept going and going.

And MC wasn't as tough as I was hoping. How many people lose some or all of family in accident. Cry for yourself and then pick up pieces and go on with life. If you really look around you will see others a lot worse off. Life is full of shit and some hits you

Little confused by that end scene. I expected him to tell them he had an inoperable brain tumor.

Well done overall, biggest stretch of disbelief was that alllll those friends and relatives knew and no one said anything. Hard to keep a secret when that many people know it.

☆☆☆☆☆

? Stupid?!

University no

Then degree in civil engineering

Didn't that bother other people

A moving story.

It's a shame that Mr or Mrs Anonymous think that this is real ITS A WORK OF FICTION.

As perfect as a story could reasonably get, imho. The emotional roller coaster was...quite something alright.

One of the best stories I've read on this site. My only complaint being a few spelling errors here and there, you forgetting to add ''Kelly'' instead of ''Katie'' at one point and there being a bit too much word sharing between characters, certain words that some characters used, that I felt was a bit of a stretch for others to use. If that makes sense. But that's just me nitpicking, really.

5/5, 10/10, 100/100 etc. I'll make sure to check out more of your stuff in the future!

Third time around. Damn story just fires up my allergies something fierce. Eyes watering like nobody's business.