All Comments on 'Outings'

There are basic mistakes. How is it that she is both petite and 5'11"?! It seems unlikely that a good looking young bartender would lack for opportunities, particularly if he was as well endowed as you describe. Once you get to the sex you use every cliche and repeat the same thing over and over.

It needs a lot of editing:

Bending over at the waste?!

She took his dick back IN her mouth

she started to tenser her body?

surley??

experience her first big dick she had ever seen, other than porn flicks

experienced her first big dick, bigger than she had ever seen other than in porn flicks.

Don't rely on "spell check" to do what a human must--proofread!! Too many times your story was going well and then got stopped by an incorrect pronoun: he instead of his, for example, or something else out of place. Inconsistencies, as well, would be caught by actually reading what you wrote before you submit. How, for example, could she be both petite and 5'11? If editing is not your thing, then ask someone to do it for you. Your work will improve greatly.

Keep up the good work and dont let the picky want to be editors get you down.

.. at the end, although not original by any means. The rest of the story was nothing more than a series of cliches piled one upon another

The good ...Great story

The bad.. find and editor

As a publisher of event guides and catalogs I give you this advise..

You have passed the first step you know how to write... As I said get an editor.. even the best of published writers have editors.

Waiting to see your next offering