All Comments on 'Over Coffee'

I present this as a constructive criticism. Don’t let the high score go to your head. The raw meat eaters on this site would give a phone book a 5 if there was a cheating whore getting burned in it somewhere! You have talent. Don’t waste it by writing cliché stories like this one. This one was considerably below the quality of your first.

Well done.

Sad, excellent story line.

Started out OK, then turned into a lame, cliché ridden BTB trope. From what's written here she deserves everything coming to her, but really, couldn't it have been a little more inventive, something just a little more original, more believable?

So, we are yet again supposed to believe that just about every man in America is the sole owner of the house? It certainly appears that way in loving wives. Or could it be a cheap, easy cliché in a BTB plot? I think we all know the answer to that one. Having said that, even if the husband is sole owner I find difficult to believe he can simply throw his wife out on a whim. And as for the trespassing issue: according to this story the police will happily escort any of the wife's friends or family from the property, in hand cuffs, again simply on the husband's say so.

Just ridiculous BTB fodder ruining what could have been a decent story. I'm surprised he missed the chance to have her BMW repossessed as she drove away.

"He cried for his wife, who he hoped may someday escape from the woman she had become."

Great line, sealed the story. 5 from me. Keep it up!

tristemente una buena historia

1* FTDS

He can’t just have her removed from the house. She has rights to live there and the boss wouldn’t be arrested. Creating dumb, contrived situations is not dramatic or clever

Was OK. Standard Lit story with a lazy non ending.

"Started out OK, then turned into a lame, cliché ridden BTB trope. From what's written here she deserves everything coming to her, but really, couldn't it have been a little more inventive, something just a little more original, more believable?"

...

It seems that the Femdom-Fetish-Cuck crew doesn't like the few tales in which the whore wives get the due payback for their evil selfishness behaviour. There are already thousands totally unrealistic fetish-cuck tales in this LW category, and 10 new everyday, in which happen exactly the opposite, but the crew is always ready to give them the "5 flaming stars". So what is all this whining about 1 rare, and quite mild, BTB (that means Bring The Balance aka Justice) ?

Roni was a cartoon character.

Finish the story...3*

@Karnevil - Actually, as women on average have become more focused on what a husband can provide rather than seeking a true partner, things such as already owning a house increases a man's chance of finding a wife. Further, as these material seeking women are less likely to be true to their husband, who they see as more of a meal ticket than an actual spouse, it's quite logical that the house could pre-date the marriage and not be marital property in this type of story.

As to why she wasn't added to the deed, there are multiple possibilities. Perhaps her credit rating is lower and adding her to the mortgage would have raised the interest rate? Perhaps they simply never saw the time and expense of adding her to be worth it? Perhaps, in the back of his head, he realized her true nature?

That's not to say things would have worked out as they did in this story, but to have the house be just in his name is not unbelievable.

she got off way to easy. but, really she was just irrelevant at that point so why waste anymore time on the cunt.

The crying at the end was about the only thing that messed up the story. What a waste of time to cry over a useless bitch.

Sorry, 3 stars. -2 stars for the bitch not losing anything of value to her (still has har boob job, her work job, and her opinion of herself as superior, and will financially destroy him in the divorce too). It's well written, but too depressing.

It was different and entertaining. Please write another.

Hooked

You keep posting stories like these, author, and I'll have no other choice, but to start following you...

Thanks for the share.

You keep posting stories like these, author, and I'll have no other choice, but to start following you...

Thanks for the share.

What this other ANON said x 1B:

>>I present this as a constructive criticism. Don’t let the high score go to your head. The raw meat eaters on this site would give a phone book a 5 if there was a cheating whore getting burned in it somewhere! You have talent. Don’t waste it by writing cliché stories like this one. This one was considerably below the quality of your first.<<

-

The lock-step homogeny of the red-meat BTB crowd drives the lack of quality in LW as surely as the Taliban keeps Afghanistan securely parked in the 9th Century. (I comment as ANON so my work doesn't get 1-starred to death!) They scream about "cuck sh*t" as all being the exact same story, yet they demand the same unflinching adherence to an A-thru-Zed formulaic approach to "BTB" stories. Same coin, different side. Write your story, mate.

Congrats, OP, another good writer has dumbed down his writing to please the knuckle-draggers/heads.

I think your two stories are a Very great incentive way to present of divorce favoring the man's view and I completly enjoyed them ! ! !

This is the way.

Just a short moderate BTB, nothing extreme at all. Unbelievable ? Maybe, but just as the endless cuck tales with brainless submissive husbands, so, nothing new. What appears unbelievable in this tale, is that the wife had to pay for her huge mistakes, a really rare event in the LW category.

I liked it, as it was a different take on the usual cheating wife. At least her boss got hauled off to jail. And she was escorted out of the house with her things. A win win.

The whiners complaining that Roni didn't get burned nearly enough.... obviously didn't read the story. Those guys just skim for some violence. Roni got the worst possible punishment: She irrevocably lost the best man she would ever be capable of attracting. Now she gets to have scum like Eriq to be in her life. They deserve one another. Of course Craig is sad, the woman he married is gone, replaced by a bitter narcissist. Good, if sad, story.

Very well written. You expressed Craig’s pain, frustration & resolve without going over the top. I look forward to future submissions.

I like the comment below that read "This is the way"! NICE! Quoting the Mandolorian. Husband got tired of her behavior and went the legal way to get her and her lover out of the house. Not quite sure this would work in every State, but it worked for this story. Well played.

He paid for it all. Should have returned it all for a refund.

This is the way.

Be warned, while the writer is brilliant, he can’t be bothered to write a whole story. He seems to only want to write short little vignettes. They’re well written, but don’t give the satisfaction of a complete story. This author like JPB must suffer from a severe form of ADD and not have the ability to actually complete a story. It’s sad when the brilliant ones suffer so.

Interesting story. Kind of reminds me of one of my nephews. Guy was good looking, and did custom stone work. Made lots of money, off rich people. He got married 3 times, before he turned 30. Each one, he got them a breast enhancement. #1 and #2, both divorced him after that. He is still married to #3, so the jury is still out on that one. Men- Look at a relationship, like a lease on a car. You want to keep it in good shape, but you aren’t going to do custom work on it, just to allow whomever “ buys” it next, to reap the benefit. If she was cute enough to marry, that should be good enough for both of you. If you want to turn her into a Playboy model, be prepared to have her decide she is now beneath you, and trade up. You want a Playboy model, some of them work as escorts. Go that route, it will be cheaper.....4 stars.

1. I have read all three stories.

2. You write them well.

3. I enjoyed Craig's planning and reserve.

4. All of your characters have been real.

5. Sorry, I have no helpful advice.

LOL … This is the way.

You are a great writer. The depth of your characters, what is said and unsaid, and the emotional connection between them and the reader… truly makes for wonderful storytelling. Bravo 👏

Great complete story. I hope you do a continuation story with these characters

Typical.... @LNRAstro whiiiiines that the story's not finished and then compares him to the most commercially successful writer from this site, JustPlainBob, even accusing them both of having ADD. How stupid can this commenter be? Posting this under his site name, too! This is a great story and ends without the usual contrived LW rambling epilogue. Sheeeesh....

Very well written, very good story!

Great from start to finish. The cheating wife was dealt with without him screaming and with no violence. I would love to see a sequel, but this is a complete story.

It's terrible when you're strapped to a loser that's holding you back. Once the dust as all settled she'll be glad to be free of this dead weight.

Not necessary, but some of us would enjoy reading what became of Roni after Craig removed her.

Another excellent presentation. Excellent dialogue. Not as long-winded as most of these authors are. It'd be nice to know the side from the family's perspective.

It's a great story by itself, but I would love a follow-up story where she comes to the realization of what a horrible human being she has become. In my opinion, that's the best BTB possible.

And yet another entitled cheater getting off scot-free ....

Yeah. There is a song, “ If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, take an ugly woman for your wife” . It’s not literal, but it does have merit. If you had to compete with 4-5 other men, to date your wife, it’s probably not worth it. Because you will lose in comparison, if she decides to respond to men’s advances in the future. A lot of men, get excited when their woman suggests a boob job. But in the end, you are just making her look beautiful for the next guy. 4 stars.

great story

These little vignettes have some emotion in them, Hopefully, you'll graduate to an actual story sometime. I'll check back eventually and see.

Wow, that's a lot of emotion in just a few pages, well done. I'll have to check out your other offerings.

Wimpy cuck is crying, fucknut

A good take on the unwilling cuckold story. Well written and ends in a good place, however, I think the story has a sequel regarding the wife, families and employers. If you take the structure/method you have used for the start of this tale it would be very interesting to see how you transcribed it to the other people involved. 5*

auto"wimpy"bio

Needs more crying, wailing, smoking craters, and blood running the streets. A sequel would be nice too.

Would give it 5 stars if it didn't make me so sad for him.

how come so many authors don't put endings to the story?

4, pretty decent, definitely needs a sequel with maybe a bit of "living a good life" revenge where the husband gets with the ex-sister in law. Be the ultimate humiliation for the ex-wife, losing her husband to a woman who is essentially her before all the surgeries.

Why average

MCs who make coffee etc for wife lose 2, stars

Cheating sluts only deserve shit

Where's the ending?

NickTee, it ended. She's gone.

Very good . An enjoyable read . Well written .

Needs a part 2 .

What happens regarding her employment ? How do her family react ? Do her ex friends make a play for her ex husband to be ? Where does she end up ?

Get to it , I'm looking forward to reading it .

DK . 4 * . Thanks for posting .

pretty good dialogue.

Great story

Truly a bitch. Poor fool paying for all that cosmetic shit and getting nothing for it.

Only okay. Again, left in the middle of the scenario without any real resolution or closure. Unsatisfying.

escape from the woman she had become good line

Good story but wished for more.

About 15 years ago my then girlfriend announced that she was going to get her tits plasticated. My response was "Let's hope your next boyfriend is into plastic tits, see ya!"

Good description, you really brought out the essence of the way these women go .

It's all about the heart. Eventually the ugliness and the twistedness makes its way from the heart to the brain and out into the world. There was an old phrase for that - "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." A lot of wisdom there. Starts out with the self-centeredness, it's about them, what they want to spend money on, what makes them look good, how much fun they have shopping, have to have something new, have to have something trendy. Doesn't matter who's paying for it, it's really not appreciated, it's just about being self-obsessed. Narcissistic. It seems to be a Twisted Brain issue, but it's a twisted and bent heart really at the root.

Well that'll teach him for enabling a narcissist. Shame he didn't see it before he married her. Obviously a oiss poor judge of character.

Great story though, well written and good pace.

Is there really any jurisdiction that has such a trespass law, seems a little funky. Just as kicking a sitting 'tenant' out and making them homeless seems a little funky.

Well written.

Good stuff. Very well written. Ron was an entitled slut err whore (technically).

You write some great stories love all that i have rea from you,

There's always a comment that tries to shift the narrative.

"Well, that'll teach him..."

Idiots. The lot of you, Blue haired social revisionists.

If we stuck you in your own country, the folly of your world views would quickly become apparent. You'd all die alone and the population would decrease. Nobody would even be there to build your buildings or fix your potholes.

The only choice for human companionship would be other idiots with a centralist, selfish world view and your whole life would slowly crumble around you.

I don't feel sorry for you.

Please leave off the political commentary. It is vapid and tiresome. Both sides have pretty awful morals. Both sides are self centered. One side has little respect for thr past, the other side wants to go back to the 1950s. Just let it lie.

Good story. I really like this author. Sure the prose is not Rehnquist (but who is) and the story are not as complex as say NoTalenHack, but they emotionally gut wrenching and well written. Keep up the awesome work. Many of these stories should rated higher.

no winners here .

Wow. Again. This is some great, powerful writing. Great to stumble upon a new great writer, very exciting. I'll be ready the rest of your postings, as soon as I can.

I loved this story. It's about the emotional impact, not the law. That being said, as I read through the comments, an idea occurred to me. The wife was pretty one-dimensional here, as usual in a vignette like this. But the husband explained what she was like before, and why he had loved her. Would it be an interesting thing to explore how she was, and how and why she changed? Seems there could be a lot of potential for depth there...

Classic low self-esteem female who thinks body sculpting will chage things for the better. It never does, the personality changes for the worse and the person becomes self-centered and self-absorbed. The turn on those who knew them before. They hate them because they want to bring the old person back. They drive away their past, without a thought for who they hurt.

There is no way back, no do-overs, they put their past to sleep without a care that it was a puppy or kitten. That loved them and trusted them with everything they had. They died not understanding the one they loved hated them. They died unloved and unmourned. Good story 5 💥💥💥💥💥 and 10 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔. Even coffee cant help this.

Fantastic read you sir are followed !

Great, five star, final metaphor.

Nicely written, made a good go at putting feelings of a cheated on man without all the screaming and such like normally on here.

That was good, really enjoyed it.

5 stars

A serious look at some of the dangers of plastic surgery. After seeing 58 year old women getting implants and acting like whores within a week, it is life altering.

It was close but just seemed to miss the mark. 3*

The need for elective cosmetic surgery is a big red flag. If a person isn’t happy with who they are, nothing will change their opinion of themselves. It should be viewed as a sign of being mentally unwell.

Excellent job of story telling.

A story as cold as his coffee. Too calm, too cold, too little understanding from an otherwise intelligent woman. If Veronica is bright enough to work her plan, she's bright enough to catch on to what is happening a lot quicker than she does. 3 Stars.

At 58 my wife wanted work done. Said it was for her and to help her feel better about herself. When I kept asking the "why" as in why she felt she needed it she couldn't really answer. I again asked who she wanted to impress. Why she felt she needed the breasts of a 20 yer old and so on. She got angry. I told her our funds weren't paying for it as that is our retirement money not her whirring money so get another job and use the money for it. She started saving and a few years later felt she had enough. At that point I told her I could not stop her but if she does it she is not the woman I married so long ago and we would be room mates. Unless she can prove why she really needed it. She finally admitted she wanted to look good for attention and yes, guys, but she would not act on it. I again said why does she feel she needs that attention and at her age, who does she think she would attract? My replacement retired age guy?

She didn't do it but regrets she brought it up as we are in fact roommates as I see her totally differently now at 63.

Real drama, real situations, real life.

Good job!

This author is excellent, one of the best on this site. Great story. So much in so few words.

I am working my way through your stories and can say they bring real emotions. I hope to see more stories posted from you in the future

Honey I need to get new boobs and my ass done to make me feel sexy.......ok?

What are you doing??? Why are you packing my stuff?........what do you need my phone for?......who are you calling?.....I don’t need a ride anywhere, I live here too!!!?!!!!. Honey, open the door........My key doesn’t work!!!'!!. What does this note mean..”good luck” on the rest of my life??????? What the hell does that mean??? “TALK TO ME DAMNIT!!!!!!!!

See easy way to deal with this situation with least amount wasting money on a superficial bitch and moving on before the slut ray takes affect, no muss no fuss, easy peezy.

Hit the mark. 5☆.

your story says a lot in just a few words.

What a waste of a good cup of coffee!! Great writing

Ok, maybe he could return all the added parts to his wife?

But...this is all wrong. It seems that way ma'am. Beautiful lines. 5

It starts out as a form of FOMO and thanks to modern plastic surgery, it ends with betrayal and ultimately … divorce. Kinda sad really.

Most excellent slice of life. Five stars.

I work in a cosmetic surgeon’s office. I’ve seen this firsthand. It starts as the tummy tuck after loosing weight, or the “mommy makeover” as the wife turns 40. Soon, they’re addicted to the procedures, look like a Barbie doll, and are divorced. It’s sad and disgusting all at once.

Loved it.5 Big stars too. The cheating wife got what was coming to her as did her boss.

Rather than gloating over 'the bitch got hers' I was just left feeling sad and sorry for them both. The husband that lost what sounded like a loving relationship and the wife that got lost inside some plastic barbi. Yeah, divorce was the only option but I found the writing amazing that you could leave the anger of betrayal behind and just see the loss. Well done.