All Comments on 'Over Coffee'

Good story, well told...

I guess the make over didn't work out as planned!

5

I had hoped for an epilogue: What happened to her, What happened to her boss and her firm?

Interesting. Good tory, well written. Must be an American perspective though. Where I am you cant legally throw your spouse out from the marital home regardless of ownership. Not until the lawyers and the court have had their day,

Good story well written. Btw only JPB gets away with not finishing a story hahaha

I think this happens way, way more than people want to talk about. Society tells a woman if she is beautiful she can do whatever she wants and divorces are no-fault thanks to so many men wanting to trade-up for a younger model in the past. Today good solid guys get fucked over in court when their stay at home wife with a gym membership and a little cosmetic surgery fleece them and move on to someone hot like her. Well written and, in many respects, complete plausible.

Loved it.

Ed

An excellent little tale. Keep up the good work.

Very different take on an old situation. Promising new author.

Good work, well done.

All too realistic. Five enduring stars

Fantastic!!

There are always consequences. Now, at the end, Roni understands.

Too little. Too late.

Good effort, but the aftermath of the confrontation is the best part of a BtB story, and this ended just as Roni was about to suffer some well-deserved consequences.

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What happened with the divorce?

Did the family she'd alienated all side with the betrayed husband?

Did Roni regret turning into a bitch and destroying her marriage, or double-down with her narcissistic new personality?

How did Roni react when the ex-husband moved on with her previous bff, or younger sister?

Dang... that was tasty! Great story, great writing. Looking forward to more. Very nice. Full marks and thanks for posting.

Vanity, the constant companion of all plastic people. His assessment of her wildly expanding ego was exactly right. Maybe she’ll recover, but it’s too late for them. The damage is done, time to move on.

Well done!

Not quite as powerful as the author's first submission, but still excellent wordsmithety, pacing and dialog. A wife's transition from ugly duckling to goddess Is a concept that has been explored fairly frequently and at some depth in LW, but in my opinion, never before with such immediacy and evoked emotion. One wonders if a real world domestic disturbance could actually play out as portrayed, but the laws of Wandering_Mongol's universe are rightly the only ones applicable here. Nicely done. Will look forward to the author's next story with great anticipation.

Well told!

Looks like we’ve got a new LW author to follow. Two new works, both superb!

Great story, but lacks closure.

A well written tale with some strong emotions. It was short but powerful with some very direct conversations that exposed the feelings of both parties. I would have liked to have more of the end but I really liked it.

Excellent story. Roni accused Craig of having his "fragile male ego" hurt, but failed to see how monstrously big hers had become! At the end she was the one who lost out.

WOW, an excellent vignette. I did have to laugh at the "fragile male ego" line. She had how many operations and spent how many thousands of dollars on her looks?

Interesting personality sketch of the wife changing in a BTB story, without the over-the-top violence.

A side question is there a theme starting here? The first story was about cake the second one was about coffee, will the third one be about cookies, ice cream, or pie?

I feel that a cple more paragraphs would've tied this story up better but not a deal breaker

Very well-written and powerful. Pretty far down on the plausibility scale, IMHO, but that is not necessarily the highest priority in LW stories (to say the least). You've written two very good stories, engaging and emotional. Looking forward to a lot more from you!

Thanks, ohio

Great story. Looks like she is getting a seriously needed visit from Karma, which she desperately needs.

I really enjoyed this story and I hoping for a next chapter. Not exactly "needed" but I'm left a little curious ..

It would have been a good story but for the fact that a critical part was the two police officers escorting the wife out. No way that would happen in real life. Police will not remove a person from her residence. And, if husband became abusive, he would be the one arrested. It is unfortunate that good stories so often go wrong because author does not understand the law about which he writes.

Nicely executed story. Judging from the earlier comments I’m justified in my plus five rating.

Well written tale in every area. Only complaint I have is the story is more of a scene taken from one instance in the crumbling marriage. I would have loved more on how it played out and the cascade of consequences. 4.6*

Good little story.

Outstanding job on this tale. Loved the trailing ending.

5 stars

Brilliant! Welcome, Wandering Mongol to LW and thank you for the breath of fresh air you bring with you. This has to be one of the GOAT LW stories, no violence, no murder, no kneecaps shattered by a tyre iron in the writing of this story, just a healthy dollop of gripping LW drama that plays out to a satisfactory ending.

At one point I became frustrated as Craig sat and listened to his wife's BS without challenge but as I read on it hit home to me what an excellent plot device this was, allowing us to get a vivid picture of the woman she used to be and the woman she had become. Then, when Craig did speak he did so decisively and with authority. He really took the beast down. What a pity the maximum number of stars I can award this is five. I hope the author will consider a part two to this drama focusing on the fallout not only from the divorce but also from the ex wife's employment situation but if not still eagerly await WM's next offering.

Ditto to the other positive co.ments. Remember, when you get your wife a boob job, you're getting it for someone else. As with another comment, it would have been nice to have an epilogue.

Thats not a story, just 2 pages of ????

He finally came to his senses.

Not bad at all. Would have been a better story if the boss had fired her on the way out the door with the cops. Don't think a little burn would turn a cheating skank bitch like this around. Slut needed more intense pain in order to come back to reality. Sadly, she'll probably continue being a self-absorbed, empty headed whore.

Good quality.

Well-crafted.

The conversation between the couple was subdued but the intensity of the situation still evident.

I am hoping there might be a chapter 2, an epilogue for this story.

Thanks Wandering_Mongol.

Very good story, thank you

@Powersworder,

If you want a blow by blow account of everything, without having to use your imagination, stick to JPB.

Not everything has to be spelt out. Sometimes less is more.

Finish it?

Excellent

Interesting vignette (not actually a story.) Four stars. I liked it, even though depressing.

JPB

Original - I liked it.

The only hole was when the policewoman carried Roni's bag for her.

Like that happens :)

"It doesn't mean anything." - It may not mean anything to HER, which is a problem all by itself, but it means EVERYTHING to him.

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"She thought he'd liked the changes she'd made." - The physical changes, maybe, but not the emotional ones.

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"Nobody looked at me!" - Craig looked at her, but I guess he's "nobody" now.

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"Your fragile little ego can't handle that I took my problem in hand, made myself something men want, and you are threatened!" - And HER fragile little ego had nothing to do with her "needing: the changes?

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"Hunney" - What's with the strange spelling of "Honey?"

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@Infosauger, they got divorced. As for her boss, who cares?

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@Powersworder, while I don't think more is needed, but I like your ideas if it was continued, especially the younger sister. It could make for interesting family dinners if Roni reconciles with her family!

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As for whether he could kick her out, I'm one of the bigger offenders, but real world rules don't necessarily apply in LW world.

Good story. 5 stars.

What I think was missing was when she was ranting about how men are so easy etc. he didn't inform her that she was the one being used. She was earning what she got from sex and not from her non sex skills or intelligence. They were not manipulated, she was. She was a whore and that was never brought up.

Still, a good read.

If you wanted to ruin someone's day, you did a good job.

So far so good , needs a follow up.

Not bad, not bad at all. Would like to see a part 2, aftermath.

So good. Wonderfully written and paced.

.

More, please.

.

5 *****

I mostly enjoyed the tale. As mentioned below, it lacked closure which lessened my enjoyment. It also was pretty unbelievable in regards to the actual laws that apply in that situation.

It is the saddest thing when someone you love walks out for the last time. You do a great job of portraying that act. It gave me chills.

Great story, very well written. Sad that Craig had to put up with Roni and he paid for her demise…..

Would love the see a 2nd chapter seeing Craig what the future brings him.

Thanks for writing 5⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Some reality here. My wife took it upon herself to get work done. Not as extensive as in the story here but she did it nonetheless. Just as in the story my wife's demeanor changed drastically. She become bitchy and mean, very flirtatious, would comment about how desirable men find her, she said she was going to take a "girls only" trip like it or not and maybe she will even let some guys "get lucky". I served her with divorce papers within a few weeks. That shocked the shit out of her. We didn't divorce - yet - but she hates that all of our money is now being spent in having her watched as I have zero trust. As soon as I figure out how to not end up flat broke and sending her a monthly check I will divorce. Until then we are roommates.

Great story, well written. 5*

You left a few things out, like an epilogue. Where did she go? Did he sue anyone? Did she lose her job? What happened to her? Bag lady? Prostitute? Trophy wife?

5 stars about a delusional woman getting her ass handed to her, while she is being escorted from the house by the nice police officer. KARMA is a bitch.

Very good. An almost perfect short story.

it's a big planet, with a lot of different legal entities and laws. Imaging being able to read a story, without the armchair lawyers insisting everything happens exactly like it would in their own zip code. Sheesh.

Thank God @someoneother is here to guide us ignorant readers. At least I understand what FICTION means.

Pretty shitty story. As Craig let his wife become what she is now .way too long to finally find some balls.

Well done . 5 * .

The whole story was there . But as with all the good stories , we readers are left wanting more .

So how about a follow up ?

This could be the start of a two or theee part story if that interests you—especially given the last paragraph… thank you!

"When the music's over turn out the lights" Jim Morrison.

I really enjoyed that. It was very well written

Please continue this story. You have a fantastic start.

I am caught hook, line,and sinker.

Well done. It is fascinating how many experts comment here in absolute terms about what the police will and will not do. Me? I would never think that a policeman would shoot an unarmed person in the back as they ran AWAY from them, would never shoot a pregnant woman in the belly while she was standing in her own kitchen, would never turn their dogs loose on an unarmed, kneeling person after being told explicitly not to do it. I would be wrong. Beyond memorizing protocol from an official manual, life experience reveals that one should NEVER be surprised by what any human will do. Shocked, perhaps, disappointed, chagrined quite often, but surprised? No. And disappointment should teach us to stop making appointments that we cannot keep.

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The sheer volume and energy level of these "femdom agitprop" stories suggests that there is an enormous, pent-up backlog of reaction to this perverse rant that both authors and readers come here to deal with.

It astounds me that a story this idiotic and poorly written could score over a 2.0. A VP in a female employee's home commits adultery while a husband objects. Moreover, the VP is on record as being the person who controls Roni's salary and job conditions. Then, the cops show up, and OP invents a patently unconstitutional trespassing law to facilitate her and her lover's removal. The only rating I give it is the old Dragnet TV show theme: Dumb Di Dumb Dumb, Dumb Di Dumb Dumb Dummmmmb.

He finally realized what's going on & turned the tables roughly on his wife & her lover. She went from "accept it or fuck you" to singing The Beatles' "We can work it out". Thoroughly enjoyable read & truthfully, better writing than many of the more established writers. Thanks for your post & look forward to more. 4 stars Bob

Despite some requests, the story is done. What is more to tell? That she fights it but they divorce anyway? That would be nothing more than repeating this one. The alternative is a reconciliation, but that would be a RAAC.

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Yeah, there are some things that could have been fleshed out, but not enough to warrant an extra chapter. For example, her rant was about his wounded ego, but her rant was all about her ego. He could have easily retorted with that. Based on this, she was alienating almost everyone, which raises the question of why it took so long for him to really do anything about it.

You have a gripping writing style, Five stars again.

Good. Not just good, it's great! 5*****! That was well done.

Very well written

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

should be in the non-erotic category

Well played. I’d like to see it fleshed out a bit more, but I liked the clean, no nonsense approach too. 4*

Good writing. No spelling or grammar errors that I noticed. Everything made sense. 5 stars.

The time spent with Roni was too long. Still a nice story and I agree that this story is in the wrong category.

Excellent story well written I would recommend however a chapter 2. Please.

Sad story.

Wow. Superb.

The storyline was a bit different and deftly written. A fair part of the story was unwritten but creatively alluded to. All in all, an engaging read.

Kind of late for the stupid cuck to man up. What has physical appearance got to do with self worth, esteem, respect, intelligence. In fact the "need" to become sexy looking is pretty ignorant, and revealing. What kind of man ignores a woman unless she is sexually appealing? What kind of woman wants anything from that kind of man. She works for a screaming asshole, and her solution to her work stagnation is to become the office slut?

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So the cuck pretty much admits he Enabled his wife's inner slut to come out. What did he expect? Was the husband really that stupid that he thought the wife was becoming sexually attractive For HIM? Yeah, he married stupid, he stayed married as a stupid husband to a stupid woman, and he is now disappointed that the woman he married and took advantage of him is the woman he marred, and enabled her to take advantage of him? A New Fucking BMW?

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Another version of stupid people live fucked up lives. Hope the whore and the dumb shit come out of this smarter and better people. They both have no way to go but up, but somehow they may still just settle for stupid. Happens all the time.

Seems to be a pretty good first chapter. Sure you want to stop here?

Difficult to say which one was more stupid: the extreme narcissistic wife or the brainless husband ? Why to pay, so many times, for the physical destruction of his wife's body ? Did he like plastic dolls instead of real natural women ? He was also responsible in this broken marriage, supporting his wife in that deadly spiral toward a fake beauty and an evil soul. But in the end, even though too much late for both of them, he used the last neurons still working in his brain, and made the right decision.

About the wrong category of this tale, we can see everyday lots of fetish-cuck tales, interracial tales, fetish-pissing tales, and so on, all in this "tutti-frutti" LW category. This tale is certainly more fit to stay in this, so bad crowded, category, than most of the others.

sorry, I can't give it more than 3*, since it didn't feel like it had an ending...

Well written. It is amazing what person will go through for a loved one

"It astounds me that a story this idiotic and poorly written could score over a 2.0."

...

That statement we could better say to the thousands of totally unrealistic femdom-fetish-cuck tales that are flooding this poor LW category. This one, is one rare tale in which the wife gets the due payback, so what's wrong ? In the other thousands, it's the husband that regularly play the unrealistic role of the brainless retarded monkey or that get badly fried.

If after 21500 views in just 1 day, this tale reached a really good readers evaluation, at 4.35 stars, it clearly means that this tale has been very much appreciated and so, well deserves his prize.

Another *5 for another great story about the perfect way to handle a wife who has turned into a vicious, self absorbed, cheating bitch. Are you really new at this writing thing. You’re already an author to follow.

This tale is perfectly concluded as it is, so... no more parts. Much better, produce other well balanced tales like this one: the LW category really, really need them.

Very good story. 4* And for those who think it's in the wrong category, it's not. It's a BTB story which most definitely belongs in the LW category.

It doesn't necessarily need a lot of pages to make a tale a really good one. This one and half page short tale, just shows that. Adding more parts to this little pearl would be, almost certainly, a bad idea. Much better keep going with new ideas.

Excellent, you are getting much better at this.

You really like taking on the great emotional confrontation, perfect, this will get you an audience very quickly.

The character interaction is a vast improvement from your first work on this site.

Your pace was spot on this time.

You didn’t telegraph your punches and you gave us two characters that we could feel.

I mentioned in a comment on your previous work that getting the reader to feel the emotion was hard in the short form but here you have done it.

I felt Craig’s pain and I really disliked Roni, so well done.

Excellent! And, COMPLETE! A part 2 could only reduce the tension. As to 'unbelievable', it's a story. Do these people believe James Bond, or Star Wars, films?

Robinhod

The story was pretty much a cliche from start to finish. It was pretty well written though. 3*

Fantastic

Sorry, but no “new” city law would allow a husband to immediately kick his wife out of a home she had been living in for years.