Oz Beach Boy's Summer Resort Fun

The two best friends also laughed and guffawed as the motion of the boat caused Grant's decent sized, uncircumcised schlong and low-hanging nut-sack to jiggle, swing and shake all over the place, amusingly adding to the naked hunk's humiliation.

With everybody on board in the throes of seasickness and fearing for their lives, nobody knew that their tour guide was completely nude up the back of the boat. Meredith looked naked Grant up and down, and then hurled his underwear out the door too, which prompted the hunk to quickly cup his hands over his crotch.

"Could you get me a towel from downstairs please?" Grant asked. "I'm completely naked!"

"You sure are, sweet thing," Mona said with a slur. "Naked as the day you were born! Not a stitch!"

"I'll get you a towel, honey," Meredith said with a smile. "We can't have you staggering around with your pecker flopping all over the place like an electrocuted snake, can we?"

"Thank you," Grant said. "No, we can't have my penis flopping around, no...that's not protocol. I can't show my penis to the island's guests."

"Well, that's just too bad, sweetie," Meredith said, and looked right at Grant's crotch, which he still covered hilariously with his hands. "I couldn't help but notice that you've got yourself a mighty fine gigglestick, Grant...I'm sure the ladies would love to see it."

Meredith quickly ran downstairs and grabbed a white towel and bath-robe from a pile near what was obviously the staff bathroom. When she got back to the top of the stairs, Meredith found Mona and one of the Japanese women holding Grant's arms while the other Japanese woman took photos of his fully exposed body, paying particular attention to his wildly swinging johnson and low-hanging nut-sack.

"Stop that, please," Grant said. "Let go of my arms...my penis is not one of Medika Island's attractions! You shouldn't be taking photos of it!"

"It looks like it is now, pal," Meredith laughed, and threw the towel and bath-robe at the hilariously bare-assed Grant, who quickly pulled them on and covered his very attractive nude body while the women around him laughed.

Meredith was dangerously tempted to call a gang-bang and ravish the sexy douchebag Grant right there and then, but there were people on the boat that needed their help, and the girl from Climax, Michigan put the other passengers' comfort and safety over her own sexual needs...which wasn't easy...though the strong smell of puke certainly put a horribly fetid dampener on Meredith's amorousness.

With Meredith and Grant seemingly the only people on the boat unaffected by seasickness, the unlikely duo split up and moved uncertainly about the jostling vessel, carefully checking on the green, pallid, nauseated passengers, and then bringing them water, towels and fresh vomit bags.

The smell of puke hung heavy in the air, and the sound of retching was everywhere, as passengers doubled over and heaved into their small paper receptacles with violent force. Everyone on board was so dazed and nauseous that they didn't even seem to register that they were being tended to by a handsome tour guide dressed in a bath-robe and towel, and that his assistant was merely another tour passenger, with no medical or first aid experience whatsoever.

After another hot, sweaty and mildly terrifying hour of heavy waves, lashing wind, and fearsome rain, the storm finally passed and the seas eventually settled, at which point the boat's tired, relieved, but still slightly sick passengers finally relaxed.

Grant scarpered back below deck to hide in his towel and bath-robe, and Meredith returned to the toilet area at the back of the boat, where she found a much improved Mona sitting on the floor and laughing with the two Japanese women, all three of them swiping on the phone of the woman who'd been taking the pics of Grant's exposed penis.

"Big dick?" asked one of the Japanese women. "Look like big dick?"

"Well, it's not a toothpick, but it's no baseball bat either," Mona howled with laughter. "Actually, it's more like a chopstick!"

"He handsome man," the Japanese woman said with a big laugh. "Like take him back to Japan and throw him to all my friend. They rip off clothes and have fun with dick!"

Meredith smiled at the Japanese women, and then helped Mona up off the ground. The two best friends made their way down the aisle, easily navigating their way back to their seats now that the fierce storm had passed, leaving a boat full of recovering passengers and a humiliated male tour guide in its wake.

"Holy fuck, thank fuck that's over," Mona said as the boat cut through the now calmed waters and worked its way back to Medika Island. "I think I vomited up my entire womb, as well as my liver."

"You'll be okay, Mac," Meredith said. "We'll get you back to the cabin for a lie down."

"Yeah, okay," Mona said with a smile. "We've got some drinking to do tonight, girlfriend!"

After ten more minutes, the boat finally pulled up to the pier at Medika Island, and the passengers slowly trudged off the boat, some still clutching vomit bags, and others looking like they were barely alive, their hair drenched and pasted to their foreheads, and their mouths horribly agape.

As Meredith and Mona filed off the boat, they noticed Grant waiting just near the gang-plank, making sure the passengers were okay, and apologising for what had quickly become the cruise from hell. He looked hunky and muscular in his clean white bath-robe and towel, and Meredith and Mona both giggled in the knowledge that the humbled tour guide was completely naked underneath.

"Thanks for all your help, ma'am," Grant said with a smile to Meredith. "I owe you one...you were of great assistance in calming the passengers."

"I tell you what, young man," Meredith said with a wink. "You just try and be a little bit nicer to everyone, okay? Being nice don't cost a dime, Grant. Remember that."

"Yes, ma'am," Grant responded quietly, like a man who'd truly learned his lesson.

"Yeah, and I'll remember the very sweet sight of you in your birthday suit, Grant," Mona added with a wink. "Don't worry...you're no John Holmes, but you've got nothing to be ashamed of either, pal."

Medika Island...Day Two...Evening...

"What a day, huh?" Mona said with a giggle, and took a big gulp of her Margarita. "I'll never forget the sight of Grant's porky flopping around."

"Me neither," Meredith responded with a smile, her adult braces on full grotesque display. "I could have gobbled it up right there. It looked so sweet, didn't it? And his balls! They were low swingers, weren't they, Mac?"

"Yeah, he practically needed a baggage trolley for those things!" Mona said, and chugged down the remainder of her cocktail.

It was 10:00pm, and Meredith and Mona were well and truly lit. They'd been drinking since 7:00pm in The Indeko Lounge, one of Medika Island's two bars, and the girls from Climax, Michigan had turned it into a real knees-up, laughing, shrieking and telling dirty jokes all night...never had so many euphemisms for the male appendage been uttered within the venue's coolly coloured, florally patterned walls.

"Would you ladies like one more drink?" asked Sven, the handsome young Swedish waiter who'd been serving them all night. "The manager has informed me that you can have one more drink, but that will have to be it."

"What the fuck?" Mona wailed in exasperation. "We're paying customers, pal!"

"Yes, but we practice the responsible service of alcohol on Medika Island, and you ladies are clearly extremely inebriated," Sven said with a frown. "You're welcome to stay, but I can only serve you sodas after this final alcoholic beverage."

"Darn it, Sven, that's very disappointing," Meredith said with a slur. "It's not like we're bothering anyone."

"Well, some of the other patrons have actually complained about the noise, and also your friend's continued use of profanity," Sven said in his charming Swedish accent. "We're sorry to spoil your night, but we must follow the rules."

"Well, get us two more fuckin' Margaritas, Sven, my boy," Mona said, and winked naughtily at the waiter. "One more drink and I'll be anybody's!"

Mona said this loudly enough that a group of older gentlemen at a nearby table could hear, and they all looked at the two women from Climax, Michigan and scowled, clearly unimpressed with their loud, raucous behaviour and colourful language.

"Yep, that means you too, baldy," Mona said, and pointed at one of the older gentlemen. "I'll suck you dry, you ol' bastard! You won't need Viagra! I'll get you up and I'll suck the wrinkles right out of your nut-suck!"

"Mac, you better settle down a little," Meredith said quietly. "They'll throw us off the island. We don't want that...we haven't even found him yet."

"Yeah, I know, Merry...what do you think, girlfriend?" Mona asked conspiratorially, returning to a subject they'd been discussing all night. "Do you think Sven could be The Mega Dong Of Medika Island?"

"Well, he's very handsome, he's young, he looks like he's got a good body, he's white, and he seems very sweet, so yeah, he could be," Meredith replied, and tapped her right index finger on her metal braces thoughtfully. "I've been looking at his goodie basket all night but I can't make out the size of his hairy bird in those shorts."

"I think we need to eliminate another suspect," Mona said quietly. "I think it's him...I can just picture this guy with his head buried between the legs of a woman twice his age. I think our young waiter Sven is ol' horse cock. I can feel it in my clitoris."

"You and your magic clitoris," Meredith scoffed. "Well, what are we going to do? Request that Sven put down his drinks tray and then drop trou for us?"

"No, I'm gonna do a dump and grab," Mona said. "You follow my lead, okay?"

"Okay, Mac," Meredith said with a slur, concerned, as always, about what her best friend had planned. "Whatever a dump and grab is, you do it."

Just as the words left Meredith's thin, sugar-stained lips, Sven sidled up to the table carrying a drinks tray with two Margaritas on it. The waiter smiled, and then placed the two tasty looking drinks on the table with a charming flourish. Mona winked at Sven...she could have happily unzipped him and sucked him off right there in The Indeko Lounge.

"Thank you. Sven," Mona said with a smile. "I still can't believe you're cutting us off like this."

"You are more than welcome to come back tomorrow evening, and you can stay tonight for as long as you like, but I just cannot serve you any more alcoholic beverages," Sven responded calmly.

"Okay, then, if that's the way it's gotta be," Mona said, and then flung her arms outward, as if visibly giving up.

As Mona's pale, fleshy arm went swinging out and away from her body and into the air, her wrist connected with the two margaritas sitting on the table, knocking the glasses down, and sending their sugary contents up into the air and then all over Sven's pristine white shorts. Obviously feeling the cool liquid hitting his crotch, the waiter looked down in shock at his now soaking wet shorts.

"Oh, my goodness," Sven exclaimed.

"Oh, darn it," Meredith said, and started mopping at the spilled drinks all over the table with a wad of napkins. "What a mess!"

As Meredith tended to the dripping table, Mona focused her attentions on the other landing place for the contents of their Margarita glasses: Sven's shorts. With a great sense of urgency, Mona grabbed a handful of napkins, pulled herself up out of her chair, and then went straight for Sven's crotch.

"Fuck it, Sven, I'm so sorry," Mona said, and started wiping at Sven's shorts with the napkins, pushing, swiping and prodding at the large wet spot between the waiter's legs.

"It's okay," Sven said, pulling back slightly. "I'll go back into the kitchen and clean up."

"I'm so sorry," Mona said again, still attempting to mop up the Margarita from the retreating Sven's shorts. "Let me help!"

"I don't need your help," Sven said meekly. "Please...leave my shorts alone. This is inappropriate."

Mona realised the handsome, highly embarrassed waiter would soon be away from her prying hands, so she knew she had to act quickly. With urgency but a real sense of focus, Mona began grabbing aggressively at Sven's crotch, desperate to get her eager fingers on his night-tool.

Obviously feeling Mona pawing at his manhood, Sven flinched, twitched, and pulled back from the older woman, who kept coming at him like, well, a cougar. Mona's fingers pulled around at Sven's wet shorts until she felt the unmistakable turgid tumescence of the waiter's penis.

"Oh, my god," Sven protested. "You're grabbing my penis! Let go of me!"

"I'm just trying to help, pal," Mona said breathlessly while still wiping and rummaging around Sven's Margarita-soaked shorts.

Mona then grabbed Sven's appendage with her right hand, and wrapped her fingers right around it. With a naughty giggle, Mona then jerked her hand back and forth along Sven's cock, getting a good feel for its length and width.

After a few more sly strokes and aggressive grabs, the good time girl from Climax, Michigan had felt enough of Sven's cock to be certain of one thing: the Swedish waiter was not The Mega Dick Of Medika Island.

Like douchebag tour guide Grant, Sven was impressive enough in the downstairs department, but he was certainly no circus freak. The search for The Wonder Wang Of The Whitsundays would have to continue. Though sweet and handsome, Sven was disappointingly not their man.

"Unhand me," Sven barked. "Please!"

"Oh, darn it, we're just trying to help," Meredith exclaimed, and then got up out of her seat. "You can't be running around with wet shorts! You look like you've peed yourself!"

With a naughty giggle, Meredith moved behind Sven and began wiping and patting at the seat of his shorts, even though the splashed cocktail had only spilled down the front of his pants. Normally more reserved, Meredith would only ever be so bold with more than a few drinks under her belt, and tonight, she was off the leash.

With great enthusiasm, the profoundly horned up Meredith aggressively grabbed Sven's butt as she pretended to dry him off, her fingers digging right into the taut muscle of the waiter's tight, cute buns.

"Hey, hey...my pants aren't wet in the back," Sven said, and turned to look at Meredith. "The back of my shorts is fine."

Luckily, the table of older gentlemen nearby had left, and Meredith and Mona's table was so positioned that they were well away from the potentially prying eyes of the other patrons in The Indeko Lounge, leaving poor, hapless Sven at the mercy of the very naughty older women.

"No, I can definitely see some splashes here on the seat of your pants, Sven," Meredith said with a horribly high-pitched giggle. "I'll just try and squeeze it out for you!"

With Sven momentarily pre-occupied with what the giggling Meredith was doing behind him, Mona opted to seize the moment. Though Sven was not the super-sized man of their dreams, Mona still wanted to have some fun with this very cute young guy. With lightning speed, Mona shot her hand hungrily up the leg of Sven's shorts, and then pulled at his underpants beneath, desperately trying to work her fingers inside.

Mona felt the hem of Sven's underpants, and then dug her fingers beneath it, instantly feeling the coarse curls of his pubic hair, and then an errant testicle bobbing around. Cracking a dirty, determined grin, Mona knew Sven's meat-stick wasn't far away.

"Oh, my god," Sven squealed when he felt Mona's fingers digging around ruthlessly inside his underwear. "What are you doing?"

"Don't you worry about that," Mona said. "Ol' Mona's just having a poke around."

With a cheeky smile, and with her tongue protruding lewdly from the corner of her mouth, Mona finally felt it. The cheeky older woman instantly grabbed the soft flesh of Sven's penis, and proceeded to squeeze and tug at it while the waiter protested and tried to pull away. With Meredith grabbing his butt from behind and blocking his way, Sven was trapped, and at the complete mercy of Mona and her eager fingers.

As she laughed, Mona quickly jerked excitedly at Sven's penis, peeling his foreskin back down the shaft. She felt the tender flesh begin to stiffen at her lewd touch. Mona jerked even more forcefully as Sven began to become erect in her warm right hand. Like all young guys, it wasn't exactly difficult to get Sven up and going.

"Hey," Sven said, desperately trying to pull away. "You've got your hands in my underpants."

"I sure do," Mona said with a giggle. "And they ain't going anywhere!"

"Are his shorts dry in front yet?" Meredith asked with mock concern, and gave Sven's butt a firm, solid squeeze, while pushing her small breasts into his back.

"I think they're about to get wet again," Mona said with a horrible snort.

As the hilariously trapped Sven continued to struggle, Mona furiously jerked him off, working his shaft expertly until she heard the young waiter moaning and groaning with pleasure. After a few moments, Sven began gently bucking into Mona's hand.

"That's it," Mona cooed. "Just give in to it, Sven. Let ol' Mona take care of you. I'll do all the work, sweet thing."

"Oh, yes," Sven whispered, and then shivered with obvious pleasure. "Ooooohhhh..."

After a few more strokes, Sven gasped and convulsed, and then Mona felt the unmistakably warm, gooey sensation of semen squirting into her hand. She jerked until Sven was almost done, and then quickly yanked her jizz-covered hand out of the waiter's shorts. It had only taken about two minutes.

His orgasm continuing, Sven's face twisted with pleasure, and the young waiter continued to ejaculate into his underwear while Mona vigorously and dismissively wiped her right hand on the side of Sven's shorts.

"Oh, my gosh," Meredith exclaimed, only just noticing what was going on. "Is he coming on himself? Sven! Mona, did you just actually -"

"Yep, I sure did," Mona said with a wink. "I've always been good with my hands. I wanted to end our evening here with a bang."

With Meredith and Mona now giving him some room, the red-faced, jizz-soaked, drink-splattered and clearly embarrassed Sven promptly turned and ran off, heading back toward the kitchen, and away from the very naughty ladies from Climax, Michigan.

"Gee whiz, you just did some manual labour on that young man?" Meredith asked with a smile, and flopped back into her seat. "You spilled our last drinks though, Mac, but it was a worthy sacrifice!"

"It sure was," Mona howled. "And yes, my good friend, I did indeed give young Sven a patented Mona McCarthy handskie! He fucking loved it! He moaned and groaned like a bitch!"

"Oh, Mac...you're a bad girl," Meredith said with a giggle. "It wasn't him though, was it? Was Sven The King Cucumber Of Far North Queensland?"

"No, Merry," Mona replied with a frown. "His tallywacker was very nice, but it was no beast. Sven is not our man, Merry. The goddamn search continues."

Well and truly shit-faced drunk, Meredith and Mona sank back into their chairs and laughed to each other. The two women then noticed a serious looking young man carrying a bottle of champagne moving toward them quickly. Tall and lean with slicked back brown hair, and in his late twenties, Meredith and Mona instantly clocked this guy as very cute.

"Excuse me ladies," the young man said with a forced smile. "I'm Greg, the assistant manager of The Indeko Lounge. I am going to have to ask you to leave immediately. I have a buggy waiting for you outside which will take you back to your cabin."

"What the fuck?" Mona exclaimed. "You've already cut us off! Sven said we could stay as long as we didn't gullet any more booze."

"Well, yes, that was true until you sexually molested one of our staff members," Greg whispered. "Sven just informed me of what happened. You'll have to leave, ladies. It's very fortunate that Sven has opted not to make an official complaint, otherwise you would be forced to leave the island altogether."