All Comments on 'Paisley The Birth of a Star'

If it was the husband trying to be a rockstar and the wife staying home no one would’ve batted an eye if she divorced. What’s worse is that she would’ve made the decision to get a lawyer quicker than the husband lol. But I guess it’s easier for people to live without a spine than without a heart

I really enjoyed this. Made me think of a dear friend I had back in college who produced a few albums. I loved his stuff. The marriage dynamic was wonderfully examined. I am sure the women haters are gonna hate but I thought this was fantastic. Nice job Cagvia! -starsong

Another great story. The trials of a marriage are always hard to read about and even harder to experience. You captured it well.

You always write very complete stories and that's what I like. 5 *****

Great, as always. Captivating and painful, just like you wanted it to be. 5*

Although posted as new, I remember reading one just like a year or so ago. It is a very good story, but wonder if there is any connection.

Too long but missing pages too.

FTDS

For once I liked something written by you

You are a very talented writer. I enjoyed this one ver much

...I’m not saying FTDS, but the end was just a little too abrupt.

Goes from, “I love the band too”

Right to, “The birth of our third child...” I mean that’s a pretty big jump.

And a few hole. Did I miss it, or was the new band name ever given. And Daisy — does she use her degree? Does Jake get a better guitar?

5-stars

Thanks again for a well written story. The end just petered out and didn't really go anywhere but that's part of real life. Thanks again. Cheers.

5*

Very detailed and well thought out story, loved it!

Ok.

Gave it a 5 because the score as it stands is too low.

The story of Paisley and Babe was a couple of pages too long.

The first 2 pages could have been cut down drastically.

It was nice to see Babe had a set of balls.

Then the story went off the boil a bit when Babe started driving Miss Daisy.

That part could also have been trimmed a bit.

The ending was ok and realistic and the writing overall was good.

P.s. I hate the term "babe" it sounds cheap and classless and really detracted from my enjoyment of the story.

Beautiful and well told story. Thank you.

Great flow and storytelling. Another 5-star effort.

Hooked

True love never runs smooth as sang Gene Pitney. Nicely done. Hubby a little too saintly but again..Well done. TC Ireland.

AWESOME

I’m sure that you already know it, you’re really good at this. Thanks for sharing your talent.

Nice story. I didn't believe her when she said she was celibate on the tours, though. I guess it's enough that he did believe her, if he did. D

Great story well told, probably could be the script for a movie. Hard to believe a hot looking Paisley doing drugs and drinking booze didn't do the nasty with her band mates.

Wonderfully written 5 star story. We must have enjoyed it because we thought it ended too quick. Have a feeling it's not the last time Paisley gets the performance bug. It's easy to understand how a person with so much talent and ambition could get sucked into the pull of celebrity and fame.

Superb. Best piece of storytelling I’ve read in a while. Many thanks.

Damn, I'm trying to imagine the roles reversed, where a wife had to support a husband's band that was on a long loser streak, burning through money and partying, while she was at home working and taking care of the kids. Don't see it happening, she'd have slapped some sense into the guy first. That's not even counting the other slimy behaviour, like stealing the songs and bastardising them.

Overall, Jake was quite an overindulgent sap, and was seriously lucky to escape with as little damage as he did. Thankfully his plot armor was herculean by LW standards. Fun story, though. Happy endings are a good vibe, even the improbable ones.

5 Stars from me.

I really loved the story as it has a ton of story elements that I have always been enamored with. There is a nice amount of conflict without it becoming excessive, and the resolutions were very realistic in that there never was any real resolution but a lot of compromises and heartache.

My only real complaint, if you call it that, is that the ending seemed abrupt. I truly felt there was more that could have been said.

This is very well written, but it doesn't begin to reflect the reality of people who work in the entertainment business. I've produced plays and performed in hundreds of concerts. My brother was Technical Direct for major repertory companies and worked the technical side of movies. With a relatively miniscule number of exceptions, people in the entertainment industry are needy, insecure, narcissistic, emotion driven, immature, dishonest, and a number of other things that are unattractive. I've seen it many times over. Unfortunately, I've never encountered someone like "Paisley", who has a moral core that generally reflects the standard entertainment personality defects written into Paisley and who does a U-turn and matures into a responsible adult. IRL, the "veneer" is the appearance of being an adult, with all the rest lurking underneath. While I understand that people would like to believe that there are "Paisleys" out there, there exist in writers' heads; you don't find them in the wild. Even as written, I find it implausible that the MC would take her back. There was too much lying, betrayal, AND neglect.

Another outstanding story well crafted and with a comfortable reading pace deserves the highest marks. This is one of those rare gifts that rate the 5 star + award. As with your other writings you've tested the limits of human relationship's endurance and found a path of survival,

Thank you for this gift.

I'm old and my memory is questionable but I can't recall reading about any actual infidelity. A wonderful story about family and musical conflict. 5*s

I have one question: why didn’t the two of them just decide to play together earlier? It comes as a complete shock to them (and not to the readers) that they could make it work after the band broke up… and if the band is basically dependent on our heroine to write the music and be lead performer how does it make any sense for the rest of the band to kick her out? She is the golden goose and they know it. So that makes zero sense even if they are spend spend spend druggies who need money, stat.

Good story thank you

As is normal give you a 4 outa 5 , that dam forgiveness fixation of yours. Well written but the reader knows half a page in you'll have the man forgiving the wretched woman. Forgiving is one thing , giving that same person the power to hurt you again STUPIDITY.

Hey Cagiva,

Thanks for the wonderful story. Very much enjoyed it! Absolutely love the way you set up your stories, very interesting POV. You're very talented in setting up the conflict and developing interesting characters. Would like to see you spend more time resolving the conflict and describing the aftermath i.e. give the ending and epilogue the same intensity as the beginning conflict. You're certainly talented enough to do that if you choose. Regardless, I still enjoy seeing one of your stories pop up. I'm a fan!

Killian

Well written

Good story telling.

Cheers

Didn't feel any romance or love. No ending or conclusion to the story? Kinda sad story.

Good story!

5

Hmmm - 5 stars but just a tad unrealistic in my experience.

The guy would have had sex with someone else, most probably. Probably the female star also - especially if she was "experimenting" with drugs while on her ego trip.

I could still see a RAAC as possible once she grew up, even if sex with others occurred,

Yet another outstanding story!

Tonally it felt more like a Romance than an LW story, but that's OK. Not every LW tale has to be brimming with angst and betrayal.

.

Jake seemed to be a bit of a pill --- I grew tired with his whinging about his precious songs being turned into pop records. I wish Paisley would have given him more of an argument on how pop, at its best, can produce great music.(Burt Bacharach, Lennon-McCartney, Brian Wilson, etc..

.

Anyway, I appreciate the level of detail you gave this story. It wasn't the lazy storytelling that the LW category often provides.

Beautiful HEA story! I lost track of the number of times I wanted to slap the pee-water out of Jake. You finally nailed the genesis of the music business with the line, "Who cares? I would rather have a poor selling record, and still have my integrity, than be a sell out and have a hit." That line and the following conversation highlighted the whole, "Muh musical purity!" versus, "Pay me!" Yes, so many 'great' musicians living in their van while 'commercial' musicians live in mansions.

.

The tension between the couple was realistic and well-written. You dodged the clichés, the tropes and memes with astonishing skill and amazing dexterity! That's the definition of good writing!

.

As always, 5++++/5! The only thing better than getting a story of yours is getting TWO of them on the same day!!!

Absolutely wonderful story 5 stars. Deserves a much higher score.

This story reminds of the old saying, "behind every successful man there is a woman." It's got to suck being an ambitious, talented woman not having the support of the man in your life, the way most successful men throughout history have taken for granted.

Husband in the story was an anchor on her constantly pulling her down. He was a combination of an anchor interspersed with a bucket of cold water thrown on her.

Secondary theme was quite interesting as well to me. She liked being in the music industry, being in the limelight. In the end she was able to have the limelight and the family. But for a lot of us ambitious people we often want that big prize, but the big success. This story, not unlike Death of a Salesman, asks is the big prize, achieving the great success, what is important or the process and being around the people we love . In the end she got the ability to express herself through music and entertaining while having the family she loved very much.

Finally, this story reminds me of interviews I've read about Raquel Welch and Dolly Parton. In the interview Raquel says she loved her first husband very much (kept his last name Welch), but he didn't want to go to Hollywood with her for her to pursue her dreams. Dolly Parton married a husband who was fine with playing second fiddle. Like I said, it must be very hard for a woman with great talent or ambition (business, entertainment, etc.) because most men aren't willing to play second fiddle. Me included btw. But that is sad for those women.

Wonderful. One of your best works yet.

I lost track of the number of times I wanted to slap the pee-water out of Paisley. Paisley made numerous selfish unilateral decisions nearly destroying her family. Her selfishness caused great harm to the psyches of her young daughters. It was Jake who held his daughters together, fighting their fears of an impending split between the parents they loved. Paisley stole from her husband, lied to him by omission and cheated him out of his right of ownership to his intellectual property. Paisley had been in the business long enough to know, that NO artist or writer would ever have taken that kind of treatment from anyone. Paisley trampled on Jake's love, trust and faith in her. On top of all that, Paisley demeaned and belittled Jake's response to the rightful indignation he expressed towards her duplicity. She caused Jake to fear for the solidarity of their marriage by her late night drunken phone calls and her flippant responses to Jake's concerns after allowing other men access to her hotel room. Would she have been pleased with Jake had he done a similar thing with other women? Not likely, judging from her initial response to Daisey and Sabrina! Paisley also failed in her support of Jake regarding the money issues with the band. She should have demanded the band members sign a contract with her and Jake detailing how they would pay back the front money provided them, thus PROTECTING her FAMILY! Paisley is a selfish brat of a child in a woman's body. Some may rant about Jake's feelings towards his songs, they can rant all they want but any songwriter would agree he had the absolute right to do so. Having known a songwriter who had a portfolio of her songs stolen while working in Memphis, I can sympathize with how he felt about his properties!

Well that was a long and winding road. Helluva story. Five for this one. Two for the other one

I should add you damn sure wrote a believable put up with no bullshit man in this one.

Being a former band member myself, I loved this story. It even brought back a few memories. This was a great story. 5 stars from me, start to finish.

Hate that he never divorced or moved on. She was selfish, never really a wife or mother. You did well getting me all worked up and hating her.

As usual with all your stories the woman always wins in the end.

A tale people in entertainment are living through everyday in real life and you captured it perfectly. The entire story from start to finish was believable, providing depth of characters and a few different plot lines in play. There have been a few of these music industry stories in the past few months, but this one stands near the top of them in quality and content. Well done! [Separate from the story, I do take issue with some of the diatribe lambasting Jake for, essentially, wanting to keep his family together. It was never about not wanting to 100% support Paisley chase her dream, but when you get married and have children you make a commitment to each other, society, and in many cases God to put family and yourselves FIRST. Paisley was in no way a heroine in your story, but she did figure it out in the end...I think. I had to make a similar decision years ago while serving in the military. Contrary to today's populism, you can't have it all.] 5+*

PS - I rarely agree with that person "Anonymous" (LOL), but this story was one of your best to date!

Finally a story of yours I like, solid guy, selfish but solid wofe. 4 from me and is 3 more than usual, and not a bloody tome ll

JJ

I'm glad so many people like your story. I find it inane, predictable, tedious, and ridiculously contrived. Let me explain: They are fucking, and get pregnant, and they have never expressed their love for each other? OK, adolescents with more hormones than brains might do that, but then to rush into marriage? I guess these children exist in a vacuum, with no parents, no mature intelligent influences in their lives? But then they settle into wedded family bliss.

Well, for a while, until the wife wants to start singing again, hooks up with the first band she finds, and expects her husband to finance their recording startup. Yet she and the band, professional musicians, seem to forget about intellectual property rights, because it Might Confuse the fans? Just too lame and ridiculous; is that the best you could do?

And the nonsense is unfortunate since it is a compelling plot, but a forgettable execution. When he offers to let Paisley move into the guest room she refuses because he won't immediately commit to reconciliation. So she's visiting and fucking as often as she can to reestablish their relationship, but when the husband offers to let her move in she declines, on principle, that that is not good enough. And she calls their intimacy "living platonically?" Visiting and fucking Good, living with her husband and children, Bad. Hmmmm . . . ., I wonder why? She has zero sexual inhibitions, considers it a form of recreation, fucked her husband the first night she met him, and has been indulging in sexually stimulating drugs for months while away from home and enjoying the adulation of fans and band mates; but she's still an extramarital virgin? She already demonstrated she will take what she wants from her husband without asking or revealing, and will lie when confronted with her deceit. So who with a brain thinks she's not been/is fucking around as she chooses? I know who, the people who think this story makes sense.

But all is well that ends well. It turns out all the turmoil and anger and abandonment and resentment were for no good reason. Wow, who knew? 7 pages of anguish, and it all ends with "The baby is crying, who's turn is it?" Much ado about . . . . If you don't know how that sentence ends then you probably think this story is a classic.

Thanks for the effort.

Agree with the last couple of comments. Nicely done.

Taken written, neither cheated beyond flirting though hard to believe she did absolutely nothing (making out, groping, handjob, blowjob) especially when she was pissed at husband and getting high. So with that in mind this belongs in non erotic.

I do wonder had daisy been straight if he would have been done with her for good.

I like your stories, you always hold people accountable. I am not sure she really deserved to have her cake and eat it too but if you believe that she could abstain from sex during a years worth of being away from home, alone, drinking most nights, various kinds of drugs and a person in love with the excitement, self indulgence and power of being a pop star then I guess he would take her back. I really don’t think he pressed the issue as much as he could. I wonder if Daisy had not been gay would the same outcome have made as much sense.

We’ll written as always. He was in a bad place, wanting to support his wife’s dream, while foregoing his own dream, to be a responsible father. She letting the band abuse his talents and his finances was cheap, selfish and not at all what a loving spouse would do. As to her not cheating, maybe not at first, but Celibate while doing coke, hash, booze … not buying that! BUT I guess he bought it, sometimes ignorance really is bliss, as it all seems to have worked out.

Your writing is improving. You are taking your time to allow your characters to truly inhabit the world you are creating. Dare I say it, you are becoming the Kiwi JimBob44, introducing your readers to Kiwi society and mores. Thank you.

Nice tale of the lure of glitzy lights… Presley sure underrated the dangers of coke and heroin tho, thats serious shit

Kept up the tension with good writing, good pacing, good characterization.

If this same story was produced by Q, this would have been close to 5 stars. You all know it.

Well written great story

4/5

So great to continue to read a prolific and ever improving author, ever new story seems to get better and better! We DO have some traditional CAGIVAGIRL themes here the stubborn righteous longsuffering man who actually in many cases is correct coupled with a woman who at some point always seems to come off as a whiney 7 year old who determines if she whines and begs long enough she'll get what she wants. In a lot of your opus what she wants is an emasculation of the main male character, in some cases his changing or being asked to change genders or at least consider becoming bisexual. Both things inappropriate for another person to request of anyone, much less someone they love or say they love. As we go down this path I kept waiting for the report to come in of Paige being made airtight by her immature bandmates. I think what sets this apart is here, Paige HAS grown up, she is no longer that immature baby begging for her husband to share a marriage or allow her to date, here her one desire that over-rides her love for her husband is this desire to be a touring musician. Marriage and childbirth have matured her to a point, she doesn't need to sleep around but she needs that one experience to be a rock star if only for a little bit. Her husband, while difficult is right most of the time. I think he was a little TOO harsh on her when it became apparent in the story that she wasn't cheating on him, no the great cheat was her stealing his work and backrolling the band. And she would have let her bandmates have everything, the rights, the money everything until he stood up for his work. That's the great "cheat" of this story. And he went ahead and was the responsible person and raised the kids, paid the bills and then became clear, tour after tour that once this band broke up her bandmates would have nothing, they burned through everything they made in the course of the story and if Paige had stayed with them or married one of them she would've sunk down with them as well.

Still reality and love sort of made it through to the end, the amount of lying in terms of stealing songs was regrettable, makes you wonder does it equal a cheating spouse if the cheat is stealing instead of infidelity. But great, you've morphed into a must-read author whose work, every time it pops up in LW goes right to my "read now" list. Well done!

Fire story. Sweet, full of tension and had me captivated. Write another, please. Randi.

Nice to get a happy ending. The ending just sort of came and boom, suddenly done. I agree with others that the celibacy of the wife was improbable, but she’s sticking to the story and he accepts it. So many bitter fights, sneers, and belittling happened along the way, which usually tanks everything. But again, I like happy endings.

Yeah, you made me miss welly. I’m glad you haven’t catered our language for the international community.

Plunket 😂😂😂

Wow! Was not expecting that! Great story and even better writing! Well done!

Loved it from start to finish. It was very refreshing to have a marriage in trouble by something other than cheating. Great emotion with all the characters, and had a feeling of getting to know them. Great storytelling, easy 5*

Rnebular

Awwww. I’m all warm and fuzzy. Hole meets The Waltons. 5 big shiny stars

Refreshing that they both stayed faithful and in the end brought the family back together

So, the BAND makes some money, the guys pay themselves, Paisley gets nothing AND she and Jake have to front the band money. Sweet deal for the guys.

\

"Like I said. We didn't want to confuse people." - Crediting the songwriter doesn't confuse anyone.

\

She calls HIM selfish, after she and the band have been leeching off of him for weeks/months.

\

"Things haven't worked out the way they said. I have no money." - Gee, what a surprise!

\

Why does he say he writes "nothing special" when Paisley's band is getting hits off of them?

\

"But we both know you have to make them commercial, or they never sell." - He's not trying to "sell," just to make music. He's got his day job, his royalties from Paisley's albums, and what ever he gets from his side gigs and cd's.

\

Ending kind of petered out. I didn't care for the reconciliation, I wasn't even aware that they were still married until it was mentioned. I had high hopes for Jake and Daisy.

\

The problem wasn't with either one of them following their dream, it was her unilateral way of doing it, at the family's expense, no less.

\

@johnadp, no support from him? They would have died on the vine without his support/

\

Count me among those who find it hard, if not impossible, to believe that she could be away from home for months, pissed at her husband, getting high on fame alcohol and drugs, that she NEVER succumbed to the guys in the band. Even if they never fucked (doubtful!), there was surely oral and such going on!

I was ready for this to be another beta male accepting his cheating wife back. It wasn’t….I struggle to imagine how a husband could avoid the horrible rejection of a spouse choosing a performing career over him, but it happens the other way a lot….pro athletes who are gone all the time. I felt like the resolution was painful, awkward but believable. Well done.

It was very well written, you add emotion and are very descriptive in your writings. Please don't give up continue writing for a while. 5 stars.

Anon sothe band is pretty persuasive

I can see the draw of performing get to Paisley. That was always her dream and passion. I am pretty sure she felt trapped after she got pregnant. It was sad that she would give up her family to chase the fame but that is who she was. I also thought that were divorced but I guess not. The drugs bothered me, once you start down that path it usually doesn’t end well. Doing those drugs but not having sex is a little hard to believe as your inhibitions are all gone. I for one was glad the reconciled, mainly for the sake of the girls. Let’s face it, Paisley was selfish. If the other members of the band could have written music and have been more mature the band would have taken off and Paisley would have followed her first love, performing. The ending felt rushed but glad it ended the way it did.

Quite possibly the best story you've ever shared with us. Thank you.

I feel this is one of your best stories. A long story but never dragged. Well done! 5 stars

No cheating, what the hell? And yet, I enjoyed this story very much. 5 of those sparkly things.

Some people are comparing Paisley to professional athletes, but I think in the vast majority of cases, women marry athletes knowing that their career will come first. She started her career after they were married with kids.

to bitch about, Cagivagurl; probably belongs in Romance rather than LW. But, hey! Dealer's choice.

Meanwhile, your skills are on a definite upward and very enjoyable track.

Keep 'em comin'.

Respectfully, the author spent 6 1/2 pages of buildup, and 5 sentences to finish. You owe your fans better than that. I really enjoy your writings and appreciate your creativity, but, please learn the correct form of the word "to" and "too".

Your best yet! 5 stars and favorited.

the usual holes but hey every story has them main stream writing has been getting very lazy lately in every avenue. the only difference between the others "song writer/singer" type of stories is the ending. instead of him falling in love with his second singing buddy. u turned her gay in a happy relationship and raac'ed the couple. i didnt mind that it works for me but was just too similar to all the other like this one to make me like it as a whole.

Nice story but the ending too rushed

Just. Wonderful.

thank you...

An entertaining and well written tale of ambition, divided loyalties, hypocrasy and I suspect not a little envy. Jake is this author's all too familiar rigid and self-righteous male lead and Paisley adds the usual blinkered female counterpart, but the two main characters just about stay on the right side of civilised behaviour and actually garner some introspection and maturity as the story unfolds.

One has to wonder how the characters would have behaved if the roles had been reversed and Jake had been the one in the successful band. But, as some ancient writer bloke once said 'all's well that ends well' - even if the ending did come a tad too abruptly.

An excellent piece of work nonetheless.

LA

Loved it!

Does this story have a point? If so, I missed it. 3 stars

Your MC is as stupid as they come. She fucked everything with a cock. He never thought about paying a PI? Disgusting and unbelievable RAAC.

Interesting story but didn't they get divorced mid-story? And was there an ending?

What does a parent owe a child that a mother chooses to bring into the world?

Loved the story, surprising what music can do.

Cagivagurl, I have shared some harsh opinions in my comments on previous stories so I feel my positive comments here are well earned.

I admire your imagination and the interesting plots you create to arrive at the "conflict" stage of the story. This one is yet another example of you stepping out of the standard "I came home early" setup trope.

Additionally, this submission is a huge improvement over previous stories in the areas of grammar and punctuation. Thank you for making this an easy to read and enjoyable story.

Now for my grumble: your ending is abrupt. Do you plan a story's ending in your outlining efforts, or do you just let it develop? Clearly, your ending here and in most of your stories does not receive the same level of editing and rewrites as the earlier parts. Since the ending comes, well, at the end, it is the last impact on a reader's experience. An abrupt or illogical or incomplete conclusion will encourage a negative impression.

Meanwhile, Thanks! for a great read.

Keep 'em comin'.

Feels unfinished... I expected more to it than the whimper of an ending. After everything it just feels like you paused mid thought. 4*

He is still a wimp but at least he is not a cuck.

Good writing 4*

Once again, it's all about a woman and want she wants - regardless of other peoples needs. Don't see any reason he would take her back

Imagine being in a successful band but you need your husband to write your music and pay for everything. Sorry, Paisley is a hack. Oh and stealing his songs? A pathetic hack at that. I didn't find her very redeemable.

Good story,disappointed though that he took the selfish bitch back.Also ,I don't believe she didn't have sex with Steve,unlike he blinkered husband.

What a MISERABLE ,SELFISH WIFE! - And a weak-minded an. Could have been good. 2 *s.

She and her new friends literally stole from her family. She was always on their friends' side against her husband. I find it amazing that the author made this a reconciliation story.

Wow. No ending? What happened? Just stopped?

enjoyed this one. Like the other stories I have read by you this one has enough twists and turns to keep it interesting. thanks

Enjoyed this story..no further commends. FIVE STARS !