Paisley The Birth of a Star

Swallowing what was obviously going to be a bitter retort, she just sighed. It took a few moments before she replied. "There has to be some way we can do both. I could just treat the band as a job. Plenty of performers have families and a life. Why can't we do that?"

"Because, you put the band first. I'm sure other performers do treat the music as a job, and like normal people, put their family first."

"But I do that already."

With a snide snigger I muttered. "Bullshit, where have you been for the last twelve months? You sure weren't at the kids parent teacher interviews, you weren't at the doctors. My mother has seen more of the girls than you have."

I guess I was getting too loud; we had forgotten the girls were huddled together in the back. "Stop," Hannah screeched. "Please stop, you are scaring us."

Paisley turned around and reached for the girls hands. "We're sorry, sweetheart. It's all going to be all right."

"No it's not, you are never around, Mummy, we want you to be."

I saw the off ramp approaching. "Where do you want me to drop you off, Paisley?"

"I'm staying with Lilly, could you take me there?"

That surprised me. Lilly was one of her friends from when the girls were in kindergarten. Lilly and her husband lived only a few blocks from our place. Pulling up outside, she whispered, "Can I come over a little later?"

"Yes, definitely. It is still your house, Paisley, I asked you to move out so we could get some breathing space. I want you to honestly assess what you want from life."

She climbed out, walked to the rear of the car leaned in and gave the girls a huge hug that turned into tears as they all hugged. "I will visit later."

She leaned into my window as she walked past and again leaned in for a kiss. Her tongue probed my open lips and the kiss quickly escalated. We separated slowly and she croaked, "I love you, Jake. I know we can fix this. I don't want a divorce, I want to be the person you want me to be."

She did come home that afternoon. She spent the afternoon playing with the girls, reading with them. She stayed for dinner and then helped me get them into bed and settled down.

We relaxed together with a glass of wine. The radio playing softly offered a little backdrop.

"How did we end up like this, Jake?"

"I don't know, Paisley. It started off fun, but you got so carried away. You left us behind. I feel like you've outgrown us or something. Now we are more like an anchor than the wind beneath your wings."

"But, I don't feel like that. I just wanted to make my mark. I know you understand. You've been there, you know how I feel. I always wanted to make it as a respected musician. Write songs, record albums."

"Yeah, well, what I think is, you have focused on the end goal and forgotten about us. You approached the whole thing from the wrong angle. You stole my songs. That hurt. You got me to fund everything. I paid not only for your accommodations, but those other losers as well. Christ, I'm not an idiot, Paisley. I saw by the credit card statements, I wasn't paying just for your food every time you went to Macca's or wherever. Even you can't eat eighty bucks worth of food."

Her eyes dropped, she blushed bright red. "Yes, you're right. That was wrong, but we needed songs, I really thought you would like seeing your work get noticed. They are great songs."

"But you never asked, you just took. That's what hurt. You did it by stealth. You hoped I would like them, because you also knew how I would feel about it. That's why you never asked me."

"Okay, I get it, I fucked up. But isn't all this an over reaction? Why didn't you talk to the band about it, rather than starting a lawsuit?"

"Because I don't like them. I never have, I told you that, the very first time we met them."

"Yeah, I don't get that, they're nice guys."

"They're morons; not one of them can fund anything. They blow all their money. The last twelve months has just been a big party for them, and all I did was fund it."

That took the wind out of her sails. She smiled a little. "Yeah, it was a wild year. You have to know that I never slept with any of them. Yeah, they all tried, but I never did."

"Maybe I'm jealous, I don't know. That wasn't just your dream, it was mine as well. I put mine on hold because you and the girls needed me to grow up. All I wanted was for you to treat me with the same respect."

"Jake, I got a chance. You know how hard it is to wedge your way into the industry. Babe, if we get this record deal, it's going to be huge. The guy we spoke to said that song of yours we recorded 'Night Sky,' could actually be a number one hit."

"Yeah, my song. Not yours, or the bands. Mine."

"So what happens now, then?"

"I don't know Paisley. I want to make a go of it, but only if you will put some bloody effort in."

"Can I stay tonight?"

"No, not tonight. I'm still angry. It might be better if we took a couple of days. I want you to spend time with the girls. They are angry as well. They feel abandoned; fix that first."

Things sort of settled down over the next week. Paisley spent a lot of time with the girls, she was there at the house every day. After much begging, she moved back in. The woman I loved and married came out of the woodwork. She got up early, prepared breakfast, did all the housework, and she was there at night, dinner cooked.

I was in love all over again. We even started making love again. It was difficult and awkward at first, but it got better. Things seemed like they were getting better.

She had no money, so I gave her my bank card, although I monitored it closely.

I knew she was seeing the band, and rehearsing on most days, that didn't worry me. She never talked about them, and I never asked.

The bitterness returned when I received notification of a court date for the initial hearing of my lawsuit against the band.

The letter was open on the dining room table when I got home. Paisley gave me a disgruntled sulky glare.

Dinner came and went, the atmosphere colder than usual. Funny how our happiness was so brittle. The tension built steadily throughout the evening, it bubbled away just below the surface. Once the girls were in bed Paisley started.

"Jake, I'm begging you, please put a stop to that stupid lawsuit. The guys don't have any money. They can't pay you if you do win."

"Maybe not, but, it sure as hell will make me feel better."

"But, it will destroy the band. We talked about it. We're all prepared to pay you back the money. Just give us time."

"What about the big record deal?"

"We're still working on it. We are pretty close, actually."

"Well then, perhaps you can settle with me before the case goes to court."

"Jake, give us a chance. I know we weren't very fair, and you're right. We abused your generosity."

"Yeah and if I take it down what happens? Those shitheads will just forget about it. This isn't about you Paisley, it's about them. They fucked me over. There was never any intention of paying me back. That was our money, yours, the girls and mine. It was for our holiday."

I could see her chewing her lips, but she swallowed her retort.

Steve managed to get legal aid, because he was on an unemployment benefit. Using legal aid, he was able to get a hearing deferral, claiming he needed time to collate information.

The day I got home from work and found Paisley, Hannah and Leah all dancing around in a circle, Paisley singing loudly.

She saw me walk in and rushed over and bounded into my arms. "Babe, we did it, we got the record deal. We are on our way. A proper label."

I shared her kiss, that gorgeous spine tingling kiss. "Congratulations. Who's it with?"

"Flying Nun, well Mushroom records, really."

"Flying Nun, wow. Well congrats."

Her lips attacked mine again in a searing soul-wrenching kiss. When we separated, we both panted a little, the breath coming so slowly.

"When do you start recording?"

"Oh god, I don't know. We are still sorting out details. Oh my god, Jake. This is what I always wanted."

"I'm happy for you, Paisley, I really am."

The girls joined our hug and we all joined hands and danced around like witches around a boiling cauldron.

We all ran out of energy and Paisley asked. "Could we go out for dinner, a celebration?"

I nodded. "Of course, let's get changed and go."

Dinner was fun, I had forgotten how effusive and joyous Paisley could be. She talked non-stop about the songs, the order in which they would go, things she wanted to change. It was fun listening to her rabbit on. It eased a little of the tension. She was talking about my songs. They were going to record my songs.

I sat chewing my steak, listening to her until I could hold back no longer. "So you still want to use my songs then?"

She gave me a quizzical stunned gaze. "Yes, of course we do."

"Well, are you going to ask?"

"Ask, ask for what?"

"For my permission to use them?"

With a shake of her head, she griped. "But, we have already recorded them, you gave us permission."

"I guess the court will decide that. I still haven't been paid for the original royalties, or the loan I gave the band to record them."

"We will be able to pay you now Jake. You'll see."

"You don't get it, Paisley, you are sitting there talking about using them, but you never even mentioned that they are still my property."

She sighed. "Yes, you're right. Jake, would you mind if we recorded your songs?"

"Yes, I would mind. I never wanted the band to record them, in the first place. I will have to get legal advice, but I will try to stop the use of them. You've had months to write your own."

She flopped back in her chair. "You're kidding, after all this time. Jeez, Jake, why can't you just be happy. You wanted your money. Now you'll get it."

"It's not just about the money. I actually dislike what you did with my songs. I always knew what I wanted to do with them. I played them for you. I taught them to you. I didn't expect them to get turned into pop songs. God damned elevator music."

"You might not like it, but, Babe, people love them, they like them just fine the way they are."

"I don't care about people. I care about me, how I hear them in my head."

She pleaded softly. "Jake, please don't stuff this up for me."

The mood was gone, even the girls faces were long. The night had started so well, everybody happy. Now we were all feeling low.

The drive home was moody and cold, as were the next few days. Things evolved quite quickly. I was invited to a mediation session by the band's solicitor. Paisley wouldn't talk to me about the meeting, it was all hush-hush.

I met my solicitor at his office before going to the session. We talked about what I wanted, and developed a strategy.

That was blown out of the water when we walked in to find the band, their solicitor and Flying Nun representatives. That stunned me. I knew Chris Wilson the Record label rep, from my days on the circuit. He played in a band we opened for on several occasions. He smiled broadly when I walked in and walked around the long table to shake my hand. "Hey, mate, long time no see."

Shaking his hand I said. "Wow, you're not wrong, Bro. It must have been at The sunset festival."

He patted my arm as we shook. Steve and the other members of the band, including Paisley, looked shocked. We all sat down. The mediator introduced himself and started with a brief statement. "Welcome everybody. The reason for this session is to see if we can find a solution to the existing lawsuit. I think we all agree it would be in everybody's best interests if this didn't go to court."

There was a collective head nod.

"Right, seeing as how we are in agreement, let's outline the sticking points."

My solicitor read through my claims. Although he did add that I wasn't happy for the band to use my songs. I noticed Chris chewing his lips anxiously as he listened.

The bands solicitor said. "We are prepared to make a payment here today to clear the existing debts incurred by the band. The initial loan and added monies invested for additional album pressings. We have also added an extra payment for accommodation."

My solicitor replied, "There is still the outstanding matter of royalties."

"We contest those. There would be no royalties if the band hadn't recorded and released the album."

"Sorry, but that is not satisfactory. The material in question is covered by copyright. It is my clients sole intellectual property. He wrote six of the songs included on that album. We understand that the initial pressing of two thousand copies were all sold. There was another pressing of five thousand albums. We do not know how many of those were sold."

Their solicitor replied, and then the mediator intervened and it went back and forth as the sales were argued. It got quite heated as Steve stood up and leaned menacingly across the table. "You're a fucking dick, Jake. There wouldn't have been any fucking sales if we didn't get out on the road and perform and sell them."

The mediator intervened. It was Chris who interrupted. "Guy's settle down. I don't think this is helping. I don't think the fact Jake wrote the songs is in question, or his rights to royalties. What we need to decide on is a value.

My solicitor replied. "We think ten percent, per song is acceptable. It is sort of the industry standard in this country."

Their argument was quick. "We would accept, ten percent per album, not per song."

Back and forth the argument raged. It got more out of control the longer it dragged on. We adjourned to have separate discussions. My solicitor advised. "Jake, I think you should accept the ten percent. I'm not sure we can win chasing sixty percent."

"What say we counter with twenty percent, but I want to make sure they can't use the songs in the future."

He agreed, but did add, "We can try. Judging by Chris's expression, I think they'll front with the twenty percent, not sure about the use of the songs. I think if you accept their payment, then you are accepting their right to record them. Think about it Jake, it would give you a future investment. If they're any good, you might do all right out of it."

"In that case. I will reject their offer entirely. Then we can fight for control of the songs."

"Wow, you don't want much. I thought you wanted the money?"

"I do, but I don't want them using my songs."

Shaking his head he sighed with a resigned nod of his head. "Okay, we can try."

If the initial battle was fierce, it definitely went up a notch when I laid down my demands that they not use my songs on their new album. The table exploded. It quickly dissolved into name calling back and forth, including me. The mediator called for a police officer to keep us apart.

The meeting was called to an end, and we all walked away unhappy.

It certainly made home life difficult. Paisley couldn't even look at me, let alone talk.

My solicitor kept pressing for another hearing, which was agreed too.

With the court case racing towards us, Paisley approached me. "Jake, we would like to sit down again. Chris talked to us and he thinks he has an offer that will settle it."

Chris met me outside the courtroom and took me aside. "Bro, can you tell me what's at the heart of all this."

"Okay, mate, honestly, I hate what they did with my songs. I hate that they turned them into pop songs. They were never meant to be anything like that."

He nodded. "Jake, I'm not sure how you intended them to sound But, Bro, this stuff sells today. This is what people are listening to. I believe, with better recoding, this could easily get to number one."

We stood in a Mexican stand off, neither of us saying much. "Mate, you're not going to win this. Just because you wrote them doesn't mean you can stop other artists from performing them. We are offering above normal market rates, not just for the existing sales, but for all future sales as well."

"So what do you want me to do?" I sighed in resignation.

"Jake, let it go. You're going to get a pretty healthy pay check. We'll also offer to include your legal fees. All we want is artistic freedom. You will get recognition for writing them, and of course, your royalties, that I do promise."

We shook hands and I walked away, leaving my solicitor to finalise it. I didn't want to have too look at Steve's smug face across the table.

I picked up the girls from school and was preparing dinner when Paisley walked in. She gave me a big smile and walked up and gave me a hug. "Thanks, Jake. We all appreciate what you've done for us. Steve said to say thanks as well."

"Fuck Steve, he can rot in hell. I don't fucking care."

It was after dinner when she dropped her bombshell. "Jake, there is some bad news."

"Yeah, surprise, sur-fucking-prise. Go on what's the problem?"

"Well, Flying Nun is now owned by Mushroom. They want us to record the album in their Melbourne studio."

"And?"

"Well, it means I could be gone for a month or so."

"Figured as much."

"Are you going to be okay about it?"

"No, actually, I'm not. Look, Paisley, I think we can both see this isn't working. I think you should go your own way. Leave me and the girls to sort out our lives."

I could see the sadness, her eyes started to trickle out little glistening teardrops. "Jake, it's only a month. When I'm back we can do something. Reconnect."

"No, it's not that simple. After the album is released they will want you to tour, do promotions. You are going to be gone for another year. I'm not prepared to live like that."

"They're my children as well, Jake. You can't stop me from seeing them."

"I never would. You are their mother. I would never get in the way of that. Go off and slay your dragons. Hopefully when you're finished you can squeeze in a little time for your children."

She wiped away some tears and cleared her sniffles. "What about us? Will you wait?"

"Not a chance in hell. I don't have any ill will toward you, but I'm through. I think we should call it quits. Move on."

"But I don't want to move on. I want my family, I want you, Jake. I love you."

"Yeah, just not as much as the music."

We parted ways on at least reasonable terms. Not as lovers, but at least we were talking.

The day she left was heartbreaking. We tried to explain it to the girls but they were heartbroken. It took me days to get them settled down. At first Paisley called every night, then it slipped to every other night, then weekly. The girls, I think, were just as over it as I was. Paisley promised them the world, but really delivered very little. Some gifts arrived a couple of weeks later.

It's true: money cannot buy love. We settled into our routines. Mum helped out, and thankfully the girls loved her.

I tried to forget her. When she did call to talk, I just passed the phone to the girls, but they were rapidly losing interest, as well. I think even Paisley in her blind positivity could see she was losing ground with the girls.

Music was going to be my saviour. Throughout my life I had loudly proclaimed how music could be a strong healing force. Now it was time to prove that theory. Every night after the girls went to bed, I emptied my soul into some new songs, and I rehashed the old ones. It didn't take long before I had what I thought were some really gritty songs. I loved them.

At the end of two months, Paisley returned from their recording sessions. She looked devastatingly beautiful. That I will say. If anything, she looked more attractive than ever. She had a new short bobbed hairstyle that really suited her, she dressed with a more urban-chic style, trying to sell the bands image I guess.

The album was premiered in Auckland. Paisley did offer to pay for me to go, but I decided to stay out of the way. They played a number of promotional gigs up and down the country. The album released with a huge fanfare. The band's images appeared all over the place. There were TV and radio interviews, and the songs played incessantly on the radio. Of course Paisley was the cover girl. With stunning good looks and no shame in showing her curves. She was the poster girl every record label wanted. It was a bit of fun for the girls seeing their mum all over the media. That however wore pretty thin, when they heard nothing from her for weeks on end.