All Comments on 'Paladin Princess Ch. 03'

It started out with great potential but is losing it.

The misuse of the Song of Solomon to contradict the rest of the Bible is blasphemous.

The ancient Jews would only allow certain people to read the book top prevent misuse.

Though not a sex manual it can free a married couple from certain taboo's including oral sex.

Who cares about religious justification in smut? No ones reading this work to read the word of God. Hells bells, Author could quote The Dao de Ching and call it Islamic if they wanted and be correct in their world.

I'm enjoying the work. Even w/ the critique, I'm still going to read and enjoy.

Critique: author's dialogue needs work. It feels forced. The paragraph starting with "Tonight..." broke my immersion. Too long, too much machismo, and Ruth didn't get a timely response. I did like how possesive Geoffrey spoke, the previous works foreshadowed that speech.

In the heat of the moment, people don't naturally soliloquy. Passion and action take precedent. Also allow Ruth to respond; a timely gasp, bitten lip, or allowing her to make an action all show her response if she can't/won't verbalize her answer.

The way author described Ruth' s orgasm was superfluous. It was magical. We get it. I wanted to know what color her "drapes" were. Having her take more action; squeezing Geoffrey's head w/ her (description) thighs, grabbing Geoffrey's head, or pounding the bed with her feet allows the reader to see her response.