All Comments on 'Pancakes and Shopping Trips'

No way does Billy start dating JT

It was a good effort, but you need to spend some time describing the characters in your story. All we know about the husband and wife was that they were "pretty average in the looks department", but to picture them properly the reader needs much more than that. We know they were married 6 years, but the husband suffered a heart attack, so I assumed he was old.

Was JT a blonde, brunette, or redhead? Short hair or long? How old was she? Apparently she had nice tits... what size? Did she have a slim build, athletic, or voluptuous?

The same applies to Evie... All we know about her is she's been divorced for 2 years. Age? Height? Build? Hair colour? Hair style? Eye colour? Beautiful face/body? If so, why was he attracted to her specifically?

Those kind of details matter. They allow the reader to picture each character and helps bring your cast to life.

Congratulations on posting your first story! I enjoyed it and look forward to your next.

Very well done, good character development. I liked the story itself but there is some room for improving the story. Try using less single person. Just a suggestion...

Nice first story, Mr. Action. Keep writing, please. The editing could use some help. Hit me up on that sometime if you wish. Thanks for the story, Randi.

was torpedoed by extremely sloppy writing. If you had taken time to read this a few times before posting, you would have seen many of the obvious mistakes. Others, you would not notice. "nitecap" is not a word. This line was fucked up, "Dede and Jerry were fast becoming close and dear friends." They were married to each other, so becoming friends wasn't happening all that fast. Take your time and eliminate the obvious mistakes. You had the cheating wife divorced by her husband, so that alone will usually get you a decent score. A few error free sentences will elevate it further.

Congratulations on submitting your first story. Overall, the story was very entertaining. There were a lot of little errors (like he instead of she, i instead of I, etc.) but they didn't detract too badly for me. Proofing can be as simple as rereading it slowly yourself and hopefully you can spot them. If you want, try to enlist the help of a friend or a volunteer editor. Another set of eyes can really make a difference.

Story wise, I did wonder about Ben's age, seeing as they were married for 6 years and had both been established in careers, I guessed at like 30. He had a heart attack with what felt like no warning, so that made me wonder if he was older. At the end, he has children with Evie so maybe he just had a heart attack at a younger age? Some explaining that would have been nice.

Anyhow good effort and I look forward to more.

Rnebular

That was an impressive first published story. Well done. However, you have my typing skills, so may I suggest that you seek out an editor to help fix typos?

Your characterisations were good and the story flowed well. One point, why did JT automatically get the house? If you explained that, sorry I missed it.

I think we'l benefit from more stories from you.

You need to spellcheck and proof read your work however the story line was not bad. Keep up the work you have started. Find an editor.

5*. There might be a few drawbacks, but your development of JT was I incredible. I was never quite sure where that was going. I almost wish you had left us wondering about prior to the heart attack. I do not think knowing that added anything to the story.

You could have developed a much longer more intricate multi chapter piece, if you had wanted. But this was very good.

That would have ruined their relationship. It would take a long time to forgive if ever. JT did it to punish Ben and Billy was weak.

Having a widow maker probably had triple bypass surgery, drinking not watching what he eats he won't live long.

A major, major issue writing a brother dating an ex sister in law. And ex due to cheating no less, would destroy the brothers relationship.

So writing that in without at least a chapter or 2 on it was wrong.

Can just mention a major plot thing like that and blow it off.

And there didnt seem to be any revenge or consequences for freddy or the ex wife at all.

The writer obviously has talent and I do hope they write some more. However, the story lacked any real spark. I really wanted to give it 3 1/2 stars but couldn't, so I gave it 4 because it is a new writer and deserves encouragement. Perhaps if JT had gotten chlamydia or gonorrhea it would have advanced the story for me. Regardless it was a valiant effort and I hope the writer contributes some more. Compared to some of the garbage I've seen in Loving Wives lately this is DH Lawrence good.

LIked the story for the most part. Call it good.

There were a few too many Huh? and What? and Why? to call it great. It needs, especially the characters, a bit of fleshing out.

You badly need an editor or do more proofing yourself! Good effort though.

Ever heard of SKAT? Alprostadil or Papaverine is injected into the penis and ensures an erection for up to three hours. So why does a woman have to become a whore to get satisfaction? Either badly researched history or you didn't want a normal solution in your imagination! Nevertheless, the story is interestingly written and beautifully told!

Personally, I hate it when attorneys suddenly poop up.

The ending felt quite rushed, as if you had run out of gas. The throwaway line about JT's cheating having started before the heart attack could have made for a very different center for the story.

Good luck with your next tale.

I really enjoyed the overall story. However, I agree with some others that you need a little more character development. How did he and JT's relationship start, were there warning signs, how old was he to have that kind of heart attack and is there a family history, etc.?

so he finally got it hard. a mental block but he remarried again after saying he would not. I'm surprised his behavior did not chase Evie away.

Could use some work, but it was fine. Breaking it off with Evie because he couldn't handle getting a boner was pretty lame.

There are many typos that a basic spell-checker would have caught. My main thought was that there many things brought to light but nothing was done with them. He's a hardliner on adultery, so she prolly knows that about him, but thinks he'll get over it? He tells PI to get info on Freddy, but doesn't mention court actions against him. They co-exist for months, and you don't do much with the tension that likely would exist. They hardly speak and just show up separately for that lawyer meeting?

You gave a young guy a serious heart attack, made a point of him getting sympathy from the judge, but he blew off his final court date. He's hardliner on adultery, but has a serious heart attack, and yet reverts to bad habits that nearly killed him? Seems like "hardliner" would become a vegan prosthelytizer. JT seems like a callous, clueless, wife that chases cock b/c husband is unable, but then it's later revealed she was cheating with same guy before the attack, and brother says she's fucking everyone. There's nothing from her perspective to shed light on her. So I guess my feedback is to either tighten your storylines and cut stuff you don't use, or fully use everything that you bother to include. This could have a tighter two-pager, or a better four-pager, but to me, it's a muddled three.

Evie's going to love being married to Mr. Insecurity. This guy has the emotional maturity of a middle-schooler; just like most LW readers.

The cheating started before his heart attack. Many heart attack meds can result in ED complicatipons ( I know this from personal experience). Seems JT wanted more and more while Ben was too happy with life as it passed him. Good luck with Evie Biggest complaint is to proof read your damn story. Don't trust Spell Check.and look for those underlined words when you do use Spell Check. I know picky, picky!

The story plot was average and has been done many times before. The story could have been read before publishing as there were too many typo errors. Still a 3 from me. Give yourself another chance with another thought out story line.

I liked your story, but you need an editor. Or at least use a spellchecker. The mistakes detracted from your plot line. Keep writing.

Lost interested when you had a man who had a massive heart attack having a bacon cheeseburger and a beer,

Brother dates....his brother's ex? nope....

Just nope....whole story was a nope

For the love of God, try use even a basic spell checker. Try get an editor to clean up this dogs breakfast of grammar. Unless English is your tenth language.

Coherence, actual story and character development, with a main character that people don't find contemptible halfway through page one, also helps.

I couldn't finish it. Too shitty and painful to read through. Even while drinking to kill my brain cells.

You have some grammar and spelling issues, but nothing drastic. It seemed odd for a man of his young age to have a massive heart attack. Lacking physical details, we were left to wonder why. Not sure any man would have been happy with their brother dating their ex under any circumstances. That was a surprise non-reaction. And why would she get the house? They have no children so the house would have been community property and it would have been sold and the profits split. In the end, if a leopard doesn't change its spots, why would he marry a woman that thinks it's okay to kiss an ex-boyfriend on the lips? Other than that, a happy ending.

3 stars

Everyone had a ride

My initial take on this tale is that the aythor wrote it in one setting. Or possibly, several, but just started where he left off. When finished, he sent it in. No quick read, certainly no serious consideration there might be typos, misspellings, grammar errors, or better (clearer or more vivid) ways to express his message! But, all of those abound! I do a better (more careful) on these comments ... and I expect many other ‘named’ commenters do the same (or are excellent on ‘first drafting!’

Hubby, in this accounting, is an asshole. It is hard to believe any bank manager can work his/her way to that level

with communication skills as primitive as his are (pre- and post-divorce.) Well, maybe if that person is the only child of the founder. And the board includes Mommy and Aunts/Uncles. And they no longer financially depend on the bank’s success!

It is not easy to fault Sweetie1 (whose communication skills seem marginal vis-a-vis marital issues) given the many unsuccessful attempts to improve circumstances. The previously mentioned ‘continuous’ writing style is evidenced by the author’s late attempt to demonize her in ‘discovering’ her pre-infarct trysts and her promiscuity claimed by Brother.

2*

The best part of Loving Wife stories is often the mental gymnastics involved in getting the cheater to understand what she did. This never happened in this story. It was a big missed opportunity. She never tried for reconciliation, at least not obviously. The husband did not know she stopped with Freddy. There should have been more dialogue about these topics.

Kissing an old boyfriend fails the test. Hug, kiss on the cheek fine, lips no.

Billy sucks. No way you screw your brother's ex-wife. I don't care if she serve it up on a silver platter. Too many other women out there to go that route.

...from a final confrontation between hubby and ex.

...spell check, proofread, edit and repeat. Then, ask an experienced L/W editor to give you a hand.

Keep at it—you’ve got promise, sir.

Addendum

What the fuck is the author trying to say about Hubby’s eating habits? Prove that he is a major macho-man by thumbing his nose at Death by reverting to his earlier heavy saturated fats and carb diet that probably hastened his Widowmaker Infarct in the first place? Granted he was depressed, was he also stupid? Head bone connected to the heart bone! “Hey, the revolver didn’t go off the first three times I played Russian Roulette, so I guess I’m divinely protected!”

Whatever, IMHO (H?), it was a distraction more than a deep glance into his Psyche!

to date JT or maybe he is like Stev2244. Whores are us lovers

But absolutely full of typos and errors of all sorts. In the future please proof read your stories more closely prior to posting, or get an editor. Please post again soon!

Great first effort. Keep on writing for the Loving Wives category. Your main character was cool, calm and decisive. Makes for a good flowing story.

Other than the brother dating JT and Evie having no problem with a woman kissing an old boyfriend (and all the other women having no issue with it because we all KNOW if a man kissed an ex any woman would lose her shit) it was a decent story.

Very good first effort...

Hope you keep posting stories and don't take the negative comments to heart... Some of them will help you become a better writer, as for the others that's the price of being on Literotica...

5*s

SOS

Not one likeable character, and the brother dating the ex wife, just NO.

So it explains why it read like it did. We don't understand why Ben has ED after his heart attack, it sounds like it was psychological yet he is able to get it up after the divorce,so what gave?

A real problem is the characters emotions are flat,Ben files for divorce and she basically shrugs, but then apparently she freaks out when he moves away, she didn't really seem to care much about him when he filed,why does she freak out. Even his emotions are flat, it really didn't create any kind of real drama....and then JT goes from being this woman who is supposed to be upset at the divorce,but she fucks the brother and then we find out she cheated before he got sick....something doesn't add up. Did she freak out after he left because she felt guilt, did she do it because she was suddenly left alone?

One minor point,with a couple like this she wouldn't get the house,it would be sold

And any equity split 50 50,unless he wanted her to have it,houses normally is awarded if there are kids involved.

One suggestion I have is to put yourself in the characters head and ask yourself how you would feel and try And translate to the page. Emotions and conflict make stories like this. For example, you could have some good conflict with Evie (this kind of device is used in romance novels all the time), where when she says a woman kissing her ex is wrong,this could trigger real conflict and cause Ben to pull back from Evie, bc he has been cheated on, and be the basis for their coming back together.

LOL!! Not bad first effort but either proof-read your story or get an editor. Keep writing!

She’s too young for him to expect her to be celibate for the rest of her life. You are trying to excuse his selfishness and

Intransigence by later disclosing her infidelity prior to his illness, and she should have discussed it with him before she did it, but still you’re expecting her to be an angel, and that’s too much unless you are a saint. Good story though certainly compared to what has recently been posted.

No, not more characters, but more about the characters. The slut wife was cheating on him for some time, and he never had a clue before his heart attack. But after the heart attack, months after, then he gets the vibes? Why then and not before?

And why did the wife want to stay married, but never plead for counseling, or forgiveness, or tried to make any sort of explanation and amends? She even shames him for suffering ED after his heart attack. The whore reads like some kind of sociopath. But the husband never had a clue till she'd been fucking him over for months, maybe years. So it seems like their marriage was so shallow and tepid and distant that it barely qualifies as a marriage. She did him a favor driving him to divorce her.

The bounce back relationship and marriage was fine, but too convenient and contrived. Hope he thinks enough about his wife and children to live a healthier life.

So it was an OK story. Thanks for the effort.

Got to be comical by page 3

Looking for comments?

A really good story line. Would normally been rated 4 stars. Next time do a careful read and use spellcheck. Too many silly errors detracted from as said a really good story line.

There's a whole paragraph where the MC clearly state that he would have understood if she had asked for a divorce before cheating on him... a whole paragraph.

You not mentioning this at all kinda shows your bad faith.

A bit of an old story line but well told, and even better he divorced the bitch

JJ

... That, on some level, Ben knew about JT's adultery all along.

Subconsciously, right after his near death experience, he found his wife so repulsive, his dick pretty much went "yo, don't try to sent me back inside this fucking cesspool, boss!" every time he even thought about her sexually, and this went on well after his divorce, even when he got no problem getting a woodie from other girls. Hell, here's an even crazier thought: JT's affair could have a direct connection with Ben's heart attack. As I said before, on some level, he knew she was cheating on him, but, evidently, his rational mind refused to acknowledge such baseless, hurtful inputs from wherever such ideas came from. Such an internal debate could have cause him some unknowing stress, that could have trigger some latent vascular issue he had no idea of, and, just like that... "widowmaker." I know some people will find such theory quite silly, but add to all of this the fact that Ben seemed way too young to ever been seen as a potential victim of a heart attack (hell, he's still young enough to have a bunch of kids with his new wife), and you have to, at least, acknowledge the possibility that, somehow, JT's slutty ways MAY have cause him to almost drop dead!

Seriously, it seems obvious to me. I mean, prove me wrong here...

The rest of the story is fine, I guess. As Powersworder accurately pointed out, a whole lot of details were left unsaid by the author that could have made his tale a whole lot better. I am left wondering why two people (Ben and JT) who CLEARLY SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN TOGETHER - I mean, couldn't be clearer! - ended up married. The way things went down with Evie makes a whole lot of sense, though - still have to wonder why she staid celibate for two whole years, but whatever. I got a chuckle at all the commenters that were upset over the MC not being upset at all over his brother sleeping with his ex - the way I saw it, Ben probably thinks of JT as 'community pussy' after her affair and the dissolution of their union, and, since he's not a simp, and ONLY A TRUE SIMP would be the least bit upset about his little bro fucking 'community pussy' that once was his supposedly personal one... as long as Billy didn't get married to the slut, who cares? The guy wised up faster than his older brother, that's for damn sure.

A good start, but, next time at bat, you got to give at least the bare minimum of a background, author, otherwise it would be hard for us to give a damn about your characters. Still, keep at it - level-headed writers like you are badly needed in this category.

Thanks for the share.

Great story! I had my first heart attack at 31 years. Since then several more...had an ICD ( shocked 33 times) , LVAD and a heart transplant.

If you can't run with the dogs, don't bark when they go by.

The story started well - husband has heart attack and then can't be a husband, and it is all in his mind.

But, afterwards, the story proceeded with nothing more than standard old themes.

Most pointedly, why was Ben able to do it with his new girlfriend, but not his wife?

I couldn't write a story to save my life but as others have said please use an editor. There are also a lot of really good writers that are willing to help you improve your writing. Use them. Thanks for being brave enough to post your story in the loving wife category.

I liked your fist attempt, hope to see more. Those who didn't like it, screw you, everyone's taste is different.

If his brother had dumped JT,why did he ask to bring her to the 4th July celebration.?Why did they buy a house to rear their kids,Edie is too old to have any.?

Again like the authors other story so thing. Story supposed to be about JT and the husband according to the title but JT is gone right and the rest about Evie. No input from JT at all so don’t know her side or anything about why she walked out so easily.

Like a lot more depth in a story.

I liked it.

It had some faults though.

The spelling needed checking.

So did the slut wife.

I guess LW stories are easier to write,

when the slut is crazy, stupid or both.

But this wife was more unrealistic than most.

Still, a good first story.

4 out of 5 from me.

Regarding Hubby being too old to have kids. Gets job right after graduating college. 22. Meets Sweetie while still loan officer. 24. Dates for a year? 25. Married six years before Widowmaker*. 31. Half year before shit hits fan. 31.5! Half year or less before moving to new job. 32. Meets Sweetie2, marries at maybe 33. Not too old to startfamily.

* Early, but not rare for Widowmaker in early thirties! More usual between 40-50.

Spelling was atrocious! Some typos changed sentences entirely or turned then to nonsense.

Use the built in spell checker, use Grammarly, ask someone to proof read, do something, but please don't publish in that state again

Almost slipped to 4* due to the obvious LACK of PROOF reading or you would have easily seen the fat-finger misspells and some seriously sorry grammar - and this from an engineer with dyslexia.

/

I finally made the connection of her being a constant Saturday morning cheater during their whole marriage. I can only wonder if he subconsciously knew of her Sat AM cheats that almost cost him his life, hence a limp dock in her presence.

/

Interesting.... Hooyah, salute!

love your writing, you have a well balanced plot between separation and finding happiness.

criticism wise, not much. maybe one more section on JT after Billy dumping her would've been great to read but that's just for satisfaction.

looking forward to more stories

I thought this was a weird story. Some things just didn't make sense to me.

Why was it a foregone conclusion that JT would get the house in the divorce? The standard is a 50/50 split of all communal property, so that would include the house unless it was her personal asset.

Why did he and his brother think it was OK to hook up with a sibling's ex-wife without even discussing it first? Seems like a very dangerous path to trot, especially when your brother is the only family you have.

I also found JT's actions really weird. What did she want from the main character? Was she a complicated, interesting person with a very dark side, or was she simply dumb as a brick? If she was complicated and interesting, why did the author not do anything to unfold her character? If she simply was just as stupid as her actions, then why was the main character even with her in the first place?

I thought the story was disjointed, almost pointless. It really needed an editor, not just for the spelling mistakes, but also to bring forward the vision, if there was one.

Good first story. I don’t know why I haven’t read this before now, but I enjoyed it. JT is another LW to loathe for her cheating, and her reasons. I’m not sure I would be on good terms with Billy either.

The secret to a happy relationship is pancakes!

Another fine story. I read your posts in reverse order and enjoyed them all. You’re a good storyteller Mr. Delayedaction. Looking for many more stories from you.

Cheers

SAGE

Author has three stories all of which are the same story. Wife cheats, divorce then hubby finds new hot girlfriend. In this the husband is a total Neanderthal, telling Evie if she ever even kisses a guy after they are married she gone. What at lot of crap. With JT he couldn’t get it up for months and told her if she wasn’t happy being celibate probably for ever, she could get a divorce and then have sex. This clown was a asshat obviously thinks a wife is his property and has no rights except what he gives her. Sounds like Saudi.

get it, why is it so hard for ppl to read their stories befor uploading them

LOL. I ask the same about comments with a spelling error complaining about lack of proofreading..

I thought the story premise was good, similar to hundreds of others, but a good story nonetheless. The spelling mistakes were atrocious at times though. In one sentence it literally says “my attorney pooped up.” I have no idea what you meant there, possibly popped up, but the image of the sentence read as written is not pleasant.

As said by other before, same as hundreds of others. Wife is highly sexual hubby knows that. Hubby has heart attack, hubby can’t get it up anymore. He expects his wife to be happy with a vibrator for over a year, get real. His ED is not because of any medical condition as finds later he can get it up with porn or with another woman after his divorce. Obvious to me his feelings for his wife caused the inability to get it up. Of course as in all these type of stories he ends up with new hottie. But in this case to totally degrade the wife and make hubby look like a saint, the author has her fucking his brother and many others as well as telling his brother she was cheating before the heart attack. All totally unnecessary to the story except to make hubby look good and wife bad. 1 star as I am tired of this shit.

Great story, spelling errors, aside, you have some great plot lines and very interesting reads. Looking forward to reading more from you. H

I agree with the writer unbeknew to the other comments. I do not cheat or have not and my wife and together believe fast da been together 20 yrsnce ... Ok....slow dance with another is a no no. Kiss on. Cheek ok..lips a no no. I do not play those game we have been together 20 yrs. We are best friends a d do everything together. That is why we married each other.

Thanks for a entertaining story.

The cold, detached way she admits to having a lover and expecting him to stay speaks volumes. There was no marriage there. The story about his recovery from his emotional problems was the centerpiece of the story.

I disagree with T.R. and any others who might suggest that it is ridiculous to expect the wife to remain faithful, after the circumstances. That her need to get cock outweighed any obligation to be there for her husband. Is anyone familiar with "For better or worse, in sickness and in health?"

Ben had a very traumatic life altering event. She bailed on him within 2 months by her admission, and at the end of the story, she was implicated to have been cheating on Ben even before the heart attack.

Her attitude after her cheating came to light was curious. Later she claimed to having abstained from sex following her being served, but she never made that point to Ben. Instead she allowed him to continue thinking she was getting hers and no surprise for the readers that he followed through with a divorce.

Bottom line- he dumped her, she deserved it. Late in the story, it came to light that she deserved even worse.

Last thought- get some editing help... it will greatly improve the readability of your stories.

Disagree with Eviegoing back with him.He is just a cold fish,which is why JT sort love elsewhere.

Having lips touch each other during a kiss is cheating? I have to disagree. This is, of course, versus “lip kissing” {smoochie-smoochie-smooches}. Having lips touch each other during a kissing “peck” is certainly more intimate than a kiss on the cheek, but cheating???

Geeze, JT is sure a piece of work...

"I've got to fuck around because I can't be celibate." (And she can't give him a reasonable chance to recover. I guess that means if she ever got pregnant and had to be confined to bed rest she'd be ok with her husband fucking around.)

"I've not been fucking around because I can be celibate." (Though acting like she isn't still fucking around never occurred to her.)

"My fucking around has nothing to do with celibacy." (Putting lie to her previous sex-related concepts.)

Uh huh... though, incidentally, do have to wonder why she told Billy she'd been fucking around before Ben's heart attack. Hoping he'd tell Ben and hurt him?

Interesting portrayal of the remorseless wife. But it makes more sense to find out she’s been cheating before all this.

Good story

Enough pontification. Some women have higher libido so if you marry one make sure you can handle it.

Having beers, BLT, wine while being a couch potato ("nice evening at home" is a good way to put it) with likely a beer gut then losing erection disqualifies man to whine and complain about infidelity.

If you are impotent due to your lousy and unhealthy lifestyle you don't get to sermonize. Keep on drinking, eating fat, and not moving and see what it does for you in the long run.

Which woman wants bold, fat idiot with poor hygiene? No wonder she would cheat.

I think the author added the last part (that JT cheated before heart attack) as an afterthought because he realized that he had nothing to pontificate on since hubby's impotence (due to his poor diet and drinking) is the cause of cheating. So making that revelation he got "higher moral ground" to moralize.

I think at least 50% of BTB writers here have ED or/and small dicks. The smaller dick is the higher pontification follows. Typical compensation. :-)

Didn't like the story. It made no sense. A heart attack doesn't affect your libido and it certainly doesn't give you ED. i think the author should have checked out causes and treatment for heart attack patients. There's no mention of medication although a brief mention of changed diet. The author doesn't give any reason for the ED and just lets it float as though it's caused by magic or some supernatural force. As it's a key factor in the storyline the author should have come up the a believable reason for the ED even if it meant that it was untreatable or would sort it self out given time.

Dear Anonymous,

You say:

"A heart attack doesn't affect your libido and it certainly doesn't give you ED."

May I direct your attention to this line in the story?

"He told me that while they were seeing each other she admitted to cheating on me with Freddy even before my heart attack."

Subconsciously, he knew. It killed his confidence and consequently, his ability to have an erection.

Well done with a brilliant ending.

A full 5 stars!

Bill

"I wouldn't be if you were still a man." - I don't believe in hitting women, but that would've been a close call.

\

"serve her there. Make sure was have the address" - Don't they have to have the address in order to serve her there?

\

"I knew she would get the house in the divorce" - Not automatically if there are no kids.

\

"I kept expecting to be served with a restraining order" - Why? On what grounds?

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"There's always a first time," she said, "and I think this is it." - She obviously doesn't know about the recording, but she KNOWS she said it, so how can she be so sure? Plus, wasn't the camera evident when she was served?

\

Since the first meeting they had no further meetings about the divorce, the terms and such?

\

Even without the adultery, which with no-fault has no bearing on the divorce, you can't force someone to stay married; if he wants out, he gets out.

\

I thought he just deleted her number from his phone, she should still be able to call him.

\

He should have told Evie sooner. He's lucky he didn't lose her.

\

Continuity. First: "the first thing I took off was my pajama top," then: "She grabbed the front of my pajama top and pushed it off my shoulders." He had already taken it off.

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"Should I get dressed, or do you think there might be more?" - Even if there isn't he could still reciprocate!

\

"The only disagreement we had involved two of those friends." - Two friends? She kissed one guy.

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JT was cheating BEFORE his heart attack? So she never really had his impotence as an excuse.

\

I was afraid that Evie was going to give him a heart attack!

3 stars - just your every day garden variety BTB story - nothing new or unique - MEH!

Not any pain for JT...

lol ... that's a SWAMP DONKEY alright

Didn't feel anything for these even though it's my type of story. Author needs to add more emotions or depth to the storyline. Felt like I was reading an essay on cheating or something. Good try tho.

Nothing

Agree no feelings

Widow maker at his age and goes back to old ways.

No cure for stupidity

I have to disagree with Powersworder on descriptions. There's nothing wrong if you want to have them, but 90% of the time they're just filler. Blonde, brunette, redhead; tall, short; thin, heavy; how does it affect the story? You have a tall woman who prefers looking up at her man, involved with a short guy, you can see problems ahead. otherwise, meh.

Pretty cold fucking around on the guy cause he got ED for awhile. A marriage is more than sex, a lot more. My ex didn't believe that either. That's why she's my. A cheater even back in the 80s is taking a exposing a whole family to possible debilitating diseases, some of which are deadly. A cheater is a very selfish person they think only of themselves and not one thing about hoe there actions may affect the family.

Really, all the skank women think nothing wrong in kissing a man on the lips, if he's not bf/husband!!

Not gonna say that sex isn't pretty damn important in a relationship, but she jumped off pretty darn fucking fast.

What I didn't like is that he barely had any lifestyle changes after the widowmaker. That's basically a huge flag for me that says he doesn't care enough about her to change.

Well, I enjoyed it! Quite a few errors and inconsistencies, as several other armchair critics have already pointed out. You only need to read a handful of such stories to learn if you didn't know already, that without underage kids involved, pretty much ALL assets are DIVIDED equally, unless previously owned prior to the marriage. He would only have assumed she would get the whole house if she already owned it before he met her, but then he would automatically explained that quite simply, at the time, and in the same breath!

Dude... almost all of the errors in this story could have been found with spellcheck. I gave you 5 stars, but I have to wonder how any writer doesn't at least run spellcheck before publishing.

Loved it!! Great Story!!

This was a non story. She was already cheating before the heartache. So all that rationalization about the temporary ED was just vapor. Then also Billy is fucking JT later. Whatever.

Could have been great, but you let the scumbag predator get away with it. And there's no way the brother would have been stupid enough to get involved with that narcissistic female dog running around loose. No way.

No retribution, no justice.

No justice, no peace.