Pandora's Box

But then like a safety mechanism kicking in, he heard his father's voice echo in his mind."Oh Lord, shield us from these temptations of the flesh." Spencer stopped touching his underwear and quickly moved his hand away. So close to a spontaneous orgasm only a moment ago, his dick began to recede as Spencer recited the Lord's Prayer. But when he got to "And lead us not into temptation," Spencer covered his face with his hands and said in despair, "God, I don't know what to do." Sinking into self-pity and guilt, Spencer drifted off to sleep.

PART 2 -- "It's Chinatown"

Stephanie looked at her watch and saw it was nearly midnight. She could hardly believe how fast the hours flew by with her new roommate and, she was proud to call,friend.

"It's pretty late," she said to Jezzie with a yawn. "We should go to bed."

"Bed?!" Jezzie exclaimed. "The night's still young. Besides, I'm famished! I know this great noodle shop in Chinatown." A bit reluctantly, Stephanie agreed.

-----------------------------

When they arrived at the restaurant in the seediest section of Chinatown, Stephanie immediately began to regret coming at all. "Lee's Noodles," as this hole in the wall was called, was not the trendy Asian Fusion diner she had expected her fashionably dressed roommate would take her to. In fact, it was as grimy as any restaurant Stephanie had seen in Chinatown. The place reeked of peanut oil and garlic, and the floors and walls were sticky from years of grease buildup. Seeing four Asian tough guys in their black leather gang jackets sitting over in the corner slurping noodles didn't make Stephanie feel any more comfortable.

"I hope the food is better than this place looks," she whispered as they took a seat in the center of the small room.

"Don't worry," Jezzie replied, "you'll love it here. This is one of my favorite hang-outs." She then turned her attention to the window separating the kitchen from the dining room. "Lee!" she shouted. A weathered old Asian face looked up over the counter. "Two of the usual."

The old man grunted something in Chinese and within minutes brought out two steaming bowls. After one slurp, Stephanie realized that her companion was right; these were the best noodles she had ever eaten, and it wasn't long before both of their bowls were empty.

"So," Jezzie said as she reached into her purse, "what are you going to do with an Asian American Lit major?"

As Stephanie began to answer that she thought about teaching as a career, she was stunned into silence as Jezzie pulled out a pack of 120 cigarettes, lit one of the long whites with the total contentment of a nicotine addict, and snapped back a large white ball of smoke. Even though she had only known this woman for a few hours, she couldn't have imagined that someone so smart and beautiful would also be a smoker. "Are you insane, Jezzie?" she scolded. "You can't smoke in here!"

Jezzie looked bewildered. "Why not?" She took a slow burning puff and French inhaled it slowly up into her nostrils.

"Well," Stephanie stammered, surprised that Jezzie would even ask the question, "it's against the law."

"Forget it Jake," Jezzie said, "It's Chinatown."

Stephanie recognized the line from her favorite movie, but continued to protest.

"Oh, don't worry," Jezzie finally said with the wave of her hand, the smoke from the cigarette forming a circle in the air, "Lee doesn't care."

Stephanie turned her head to look at the kitchen window and saw Lee lighting a cigarette which he held loosely between his lips as he scraped the grill. The four toughs in the corner also each lit an all-white 100 and smoked profusely as they continued their animated conversation in what Stephanie recognized was Vietnamese, the language of her mother. Before long, the stagnant air in the diner quickly began to grow hazy.

"Looks like you're the odd girl out," Jezzie said with a grin as she slowly slid the pack of cigarettes to Stephanie. "Care to join us?"

Stephanie felt strangely drawn to the white pack with red lettering and picked it up. "Pandora," she said as she read the brand name. She opened the lid and inspected the pearl white filters, pulled one out and admired the length. "My mom used to smoke long ones like these," she said as she put the cigarette back into the pack, "but I've never heard of this brand."

"These are special," Jezzie whispered before bringing her 120 up to the corner of her mouth and making the tip glow. She tilted her head upwards and let out a smoky stream above the table. "Try one."

Stephanie set the pack down on the table. "No thanks, I don't smoke."

"You mean you don't smoke anymore," Jezzie replied with a wink.

The comment surprised Stephanie. How could this stranger tell that she was once a smoker? "Well," she responded as if caught red handed, "there was a time...."

"Ah-hah!" Jezzie replied sitting up quickly. "I knew it! Tell me your smoking story."

Stephanie looked down at the table with a smile and began to twirl the Pandora pack with her fingers. "I was a freshman in high school," she said with a chuckle, "and...." -- she brushed a lock of hair across her forehead as she looked up at the ceiling -- "this is so silly...."

"Come on!" Jezzie said with a laugh. "Start at the beginning."

Stephanie didn't understand why Jezzie was so interested in knowing, but she took a deep breath and went full throttle into the story.

"My mom was a pack a day smoker when I was growing up."

"And your Dad?" Jezzie interrupted.

"No Dad; at least, not that I remember. He died when I was really young." She paused for a moment as she thought how to proceed. "My Mom was a real party girl: smoked a lot, drank a lot." Stephanie looked back down at the table. "'Slept around a lot. I had so many 'uncles' sleeping over that I couldn't keep track of them all."

Feeling a bit ashamed at revealing that aspect of her personal history, Stephanie paused and took a deep breath. She was relieved when Jezzie lightened the mood by saying, "She sounds like my kind of woman!" Stephanie smiled and continued on.

"My sister, Lynn, she was like a straight arrow: a great student who didn't drink or smoke, and who didn't even have a boy friend until she was in graduate school. And because she's like 10 years older than I am, she was like a second mom to me." Then she added with tenderness in her voice, "I really looked up to her. She could have gone to any university she wanted, but she chose to stay local so that she could live at home and look out for me while I was still in school."

"So I take it you took after your sister rather than your Mom," Jezzie asked as she stubbed out her cigarette and proceeded to pull a fresh one out of the pack on the table.

"Mm-hmm," Stephanie replied as she watched Jezzie light the Pandora. She was once again feeling a very strong draw to pick up the pack again, perhaps because of the turn of events in her life she was about to detail. "Then one day when I was a freshman in high school, I was coming back from some week long spring camp, and....

++++++

When Stephanie walked through the door, the smell of fresh cigarette smoke told her that her Mom was home -- though hopefully not with another "uncle" in the master bedroom. But as she walked into the living room at the end of the front entrance hallway, she wasn't prepared to see her 24 year old sister sitting on the couch reading a magazine with a freshly lit Virginia Slims 120 between her fingers.

"Lynn!" Stephanie exclaimed. "Oh my God, why are you smoking?"

"Hi Sis," Lynn replied with a wide grin on her face. "I'm in love!" she added as she leaned back into the couch's soft pillows and took a puff on her cigarette, French inhaling the creamy contents and shooting out a jet stream of smoke towards her sister.

This was hardly the explanation that Stephanie was expecting. "What does that mean?" she asked as she sat down across from her big sister on the other couch.

As giddy as a schoolgirl, Lynn explained that she had met someone in grad school who she had fallen head over heals for; but try as she might, she couldn't get him to ask her out on a date. "Then I found out from a close friend of his that he's really hot for Asian smokers. So the day you left, I asked Mom to teach me how to smoke, and I've been practicing ever since!"

"She must have loved that," Stephanie muttered while her sister tapped her cigarette over the ashtray on the coffee table, but Lynn ignored the comment.

"So after our seminar today, I casually lit a cigarette out in the courtyard just as he was coming out of class. Actually, I was nervous as hell, but I definitely got his attention, and he came over to strike up a conversation. You should have seen him! Every time I took a puff, his eyes lit up like something wonderful was about to happen. Anyway, one conversation led to another and..." - Lynn struck a pose as she took a shallow puff and exhaled as she tilted her head upwards -- "...it worked! We're going out tonight!"

"But Lynn," Stephanie said with concern as she pointed at the 120, "smoking....it's so bad for you."

Lynn was not to be deterred by such talk, not now; and she put her folded hands on her knees as she leaned forward towards her sister. Stephanie couldn't help but think how suddenly mature her sister looked with that long cigarette shooting up from her folded hands.

"Stephanie," Lynn said in a tone of near desperation, "I'd do anything for this guy." Then she sat back again and held the long cigarette perpendicular to her face. "Besides, he says smoking makes me look sexy." She placed the Virginia Slims in the corner of her mouth and slowly puffed while tilting her head upwards and closing her eyes. Stephanie watched her sister's chest rise and fall as Lynn took the luscious smoke into her lungs and exhaled a creamy river. "And I feel sexy," she said after what even Stephanie had to agree was a truly sexy exhale. She then unsuccessfully sought to stifle a few coughs. "I'm still getting used to the inhaling part of this whole thing," she said as she leaned forward and gave her cigarette another tap over the ashtray.

It didn't take more than a few weeks for Lynn's lungs to adapt to the smoke comfortably, and Stephanie found herself in the awkward position of being the only non-smoker in the house. Ironically, Lynn's relationship with her classmate only lasted for 3 weeks before he found another Asian smoker who was more accommodating to his sexual desires (Lynn still held on to some of her virtue). She was heartbroken, of course, and vowed that she'd never love or smoke again. But the latter vow didn't last more than a few days before she revived the habit to help deal with the stress of graduate school. "Anyway," she revealed to Stephanie one night, "I like the confidence it gives me."

++++++

"And?" Jezzie asked impatiently in a smoky exhale.

"And what?" Stephanie asked.

In exasperation, Jezzie stubbed out her cigarette and reached for the pack. "So how did YOU start?" She lit a fresh 120 and snapped back a cheek hallowed puff.

"Oh yeah...well, I thought the world of my sister. I still do. And when I saw her smoking all the time, it was likemy thinking about smoking started to change, too. I mean, how could it not? I'd get up in the morning and see my sister smoking a cigarette over a cup of coffee as she read the paper. Each night after dinner, she and my Mom would light up, and it just looked so normal...so natural, you know?"

Jezzie nodded her head in agreement as she slowly puffed on her Pandora and exhaled through her nose.

"Even kinda fun," Stephanie continued. "I mean, obviously, they were enjoying it. So I started to think, 'Well, why not me, too? I want to look sexy. I want to feel confident. I want to join in the fun.'"

Stephanie's attention was drawn to the pack of Pandora sitting on the table. Since Jezzie had first brought them out, she had suppressed the urge to take one; but she felt a wicked pleasure in letting those urges have free reign.

"It was so easy for me to try one," she said whimsically as she picked up the pack. "My Mom and sister were always leaving half-empty packs around. So one day I came home from school and the house was quiet. I assumed no one was home." She lifted the lid and slowly pulled out a Pandora by its smooth pearl base. "Don't ask my why that day wasthe day; it just was. When I saw a pack sitting on the coffee table, my impulse was to take one out." She inspected the cigarette now in her hand just as she had the VS 120 that afternoon 4 years ago. "I remember thinking how beautiful that Virginia Slims was, and I went into the bathroom so that I could see myself in the mirror holding it." She slid the Pandora under her nose, replaying her actions in the bathroom mirror the first time she smoked. "Initially I just wanted to see how I looked holding it. But then I saw a lighter in the bathroom, and my impulse was immediately to pick it up and light the flame."

Jezzie blew a large cloud of smoke at Stephanie as her eyes remained transfixed on the unlit cigarette between her fingers. "And how did you look?" she asked as she slowly moved the flame from her lighter across the table to Stephanie.

"Fucking fantastic," Stephanie whispered. She put the cigarette between her lips and leaned forward to receive the flame her companion offered. With a sharp puff, the tip was a fiery orange and thick smoke quickly flooded her mouth. After 4 years without smoking a single cigarette, she was uncertain how her lungs would react now; but her instinct told her to inhale, and she found the silky smooth smoke produced an incredible rush that gave her the feeling of lightness without dizziness. She closed her eyes and slowly exhaled a cone across the table towards Jezzie.

"So then what?" Jezzie wanted Stephanie to continue with her story.

Feeling considerably looser now as she inhaled on the Pandora, she went back to detailing her first experience with a Virginia Slims. "The first puff was awesome. It was like I was flying through the sky and breathing in the clouds. I could actually feel it billowing into my lungs. But I increased the intensity on the second puff and coughed most of it out. By the fourth puff, I had learned to suppress the coughs, but was feeling very lightheaded. I had decided, however, that I liked this activity very much, especially watching myself smoke! That was a bit of a turn-on." She stopped for a moment, not believing that she had just told Jezzie that.

Jezzie giggled. "Finally, you're starting to loosen up! Now all you need is a beer."

"Jezzie," Stephanie exclaimed, "I'm only 19!"

"Pffttt," Jezzie said with her lips pursed and the wave of her hand, "please don't even try and tell me you don't drink." And then she shouted towards the counter, "Lee! Two beers."

The old man in the kitchen, muttering something in Chinese as he walked away from his stove, emerged 30 seconds later in the dining room with two bottles of Tsingtao.

"Thank you Lee," Jezzie said sweetly as she batted her eyelashes at him. He replied with a grunt and walked back into the kitchen.

"Go on," Jezzie said as the two girls each took a swig from their bottles.

"Well, I told you that no one was home, right? At least that's what I thought. Turns out my Mom was taking a nap, and I woke her up with my coughing. When I was just a bit more than half-way through my cigarette, I notice something out of the corner of my eye at the doorway -- and it's my Mom staring at me with her arms folded and a smile on her face. I was absolutely speechless. I could have shit in my pants I was so scared. But she didn't say anything! She just kept smiling as she turned and walked away."

Stephanie took a puff and held it inside her lungs, letting the nicotine sink in and feeling its full power.

"I had this out of body experience," she continued with white smoke punctuating her words. "It was like I was floating up along the ceiling, looking down at myself paralyzed, a half smoked cigarette still smoldering between my fingers. When I finally realized I was busted, I quickly threw the cigarette into the toilet, flushed it, and ran back to my room. I was sick to my stomach from the smoke. But I had this terrible feeling of dread that my Mom was going to walk into my room any minute."

"And did she?" Jezzie asked as she finished her beer.

"No! In fact, during dinner time she pretended like nothing had even happened. I was beginning to wonder if I had just imagined the whole thing." Stephanie tapped some ash into her empty bowl of noodles. "Normally when dinner was over, my Mom and Lynn would both light a cigarette while I cleared the table. This night I wanted to clear the dishes as quickly as possible and run back to my room, but when I stood up after speeding through my dinner, my Mom, in a really friendly voice, said that she would take care of it and asked me to sit down."

"Oh man, so she really let you have it then?" Jezzie asked after lighting a fresh Pandora.

"Not even close. She walked over to the cupboard where she kept her carton of cigarettes and pulled out a fresh pack. By this time, Lynn had already lit her own and was a bit confused at what was going on. Then my Mom sat back down, looked straight at me with this little smile as she lit her own cigarette, and slowly blew a stream of smoke towards me across the table. 'Why don't you join us?' she said."

"How cool!" Jezzie exclaimed.

"Totally! My sister was like, 'what's going on here?' as she looked at both my mom and I in total confusion. At first I hesitated. 'This is a trick.' I wasn't really close to my Mom, so it was impossible to be sure. But at the same time I really wanted to smoke, so I thought, 'what the hell!'"

Stephanie took one last puff on her Pandora and threw it into the bowl, smiling as it made a short hiss when the burning ash hit the remaining liquid. "My sister's jaw dropped to the table when I picked up the pack and pulled one out. 'Your sister decided to become one of us today,' my Mom said to Lynn as I lit that beautiful cigarette. It's crazy, but I felt so proud of myself at that moment as I held the cigarette confidently between my fingers and brought it up to my lips."

Stephanie couldn't help herself. She had to have another one of Jezzie's delicious cigarettes. She pulled out a Pandora and lit it freehanded, making the tip turn a bright orange as she puffed and exhaled through her nose.

"That was the happiest night of my life," she said longingly as she looked down at the pack of Pandora on the table. "I was never as close to my Mom as I was then." She held the cigarette next to her cheek and brought it to her lips for a rich puff. She closed her eyes as she inhaled the creamy contents in her mouth. "That was also the last night I ever smoked with her." She picked up her beer and exhaled a gust through her nose as she took a swig from the bottle.

"Why is that?"

"She died the next day."

"That's too bad," Jezzie replied with a devilish grin that went unnoticed by Stephanie who continued to stare down at the pack of Pandora. "What happened next?" she asked in a tone that suggested she already knew the answer.

Stephanie had never been able to tell this story without tearing up, but for some reason she felt empty of any remorse. In fact, in a creepy sort of way, at this very moment she felt an evil satisfaction that her mother was dead, even a kind of amusement at it all. Any normal person would cringe at such a feeling, but Stephanie found it comfortable as she continued on with her story between deep puffs on that wonderful Pandora.

"She was in a car accident the next day." She took a puff and inhaled it deeply.Ah man, that felt so good, she thought to herself as she exhaled a heavy stream of smoke out of the side of her mouth. Then she smiled as she said, "Probably some drunk driver." She took another deep puff:absolute bliss. "They never found the guy."