Penny and Leonard Get Together

Here is my version of how Penny and Leonard might have got together.

Scene: Penny's apartment, Leonard knocks and enters.

"Hey Penny. Oh! Mood lighting, romantic! If you're expecting someone, I can come back?" Penny looks up from her couch with a bottle in hand.

"When I didn't pay my bill the department of water and power thought I'd like the 'ambience'." Her table is covered with more than a dozen empty bottles.

"Getting your recycling together?" Gesturing to them.

"Yeah, let's call it that. It sounds better than scouring the entire apartment for anything containing alcohol." Waving a bottle containing about half an inch of pee coloured liquid. "I call this a 'Hobo's cocktail', all that's missing is the brown paper bag." She takes a sip, grimaces, and offers it to Leonard. He sensibly refuses. "Mind you, I suppose I should get used to the hobo thing. I'll be out on the street myself if I can't sort out my finances." Glumly she puts down the now empty bottle, then her face lights up. "Hang on, there's a half bottle of tequila in the bathroom cabinet."

"Why would you have a bottle of..." Leonard starts to ask, but she jumps up and weaves off to the bathroom. "Never mind." He calls to her retreating figure. He sits on the arm of the couch waiting for her to return.

A moment later she returns triumphant, a bottle raised in salute. Dropping back down on the couch, he can't help notice the bounce of her braless breasts. Penny might be drunk, but her sixth sense, when a guy is checking her out, never fails. Just to tease him she exaggerates her wriggle as she pushed her ass back into the cushions. It's nice to know that with everything else going wrong in her life she can still rely on that. At least for the moment!

"They cut my hours at the cheesecake factory and I've fallen behind on a few bills." Patting the cushion next to her, Leonard sits.

"Can I help. "

"No! I already owe you hundreds of dollars. How much is it now?"

"About $600."

"Really? That much?" She asks dejectedly.

"Actually is $1,127.35, but who's counting."

"Well obviously you are!" She snaps, then softens her tone. "I can't take any more of your money. Not without any way of paying it back."

"You know the money isn't important to me?"

"It is to me. I have my pride. Admittedly not like I used to but..." she sighs. "Anyway I don't want things to be weird between us."

"Won't it be weird between us if you're living outside in a cardboard box, washing your hair with rainwater? I'll gladly help you with the rent?" He gestures to the pile of paperwork on the table. "Do you want me to take a look at your expenses?"

"I suppose it can't hurt!"

She slips to the edge of the couch, them pauses as an idea pops into her alcohol soaked brain. Why not tease Leonard a little more. He's harmless and she always gets a thrill from teasing guys. Standing in front of him, she leans down and accidentally on purpose pushes some of her bills off the far side of the table.

"Oops!" Putting a knee on the edge table she leans down and stretches over the table. Watching his reflection in the useless television, his eyes wide and glues to her ass. She can imagine how it looks in her thin shorts stretched tight across her yoga toned body. She'd adopted this pose before and could attest to the sturdiness of the table, when whichever boyfriend she was teasing, reached their breaking point. However, she knew Leonard isn't bold enough to take things that far. For Leonard's part, he was like a rabbit in headlights. He'd seen Penny in skin tight clothing on many occasions, especially when she used his apartment to do her yoga. Those times he could only surreptitiously take a look, unlike now when she's within arm's reach.

Penny is ineffectively trying to reach the documents on the floor, just to prolong the tease. Leonard seems to snap out of it as he notices her watching him in the reflection.

"Need a hand?" Jumping up without waiting her response. He rushes around the table and drops to his haunches, gathering up the papers. Looking up, he sees the view from the front is even better. Her scoop necked t-shirt is hanging open, so he can see her bra clad breasts, all her way down to her belly button. Penny smiles down at him, knowing what he can see, and is only disappointed she's not wearing a nicer bra.

Jumping to his feet, and always the gentleman, offers his hand to help her up.

"Thanks." She replies, more for the compliment of the slight bulge in his pants, than for his offer of help. As Leonard scurries back to the couch, Penny enjoys the slight tingle of excitement from teasing her nerdy friend. Until she'd met Leonard and his friends, she'd never appreciated how much fun it was just teasing a guy, without any expectations of having some sort of sex with them. Don't get her wrong, she loves sex, but this teasing doesn't need you to get all sweaty and sticky.

Grabbing a pair of glasses she cracks open the tequila fills them to the brim on the table and moves to sit next to Leonard. He's sitting squeezed up to one end of the couch. His head down and holding the papers close to his crotch. It looks like he's awaiting some rebuke for looking.

Penny drops down heavily and catches the flicker of him eyes as he catches the deliberate bounce of her bust. Slipping closer to him.

"Can you read that down there?" Leonard nods. "How about we move them into the middle so we can both see it?" reaching over to take his wrist. He tenses a moment, then lets her move his hand, exposing a sizeable bulge. He looks like he's expecting either to be mocked or an explosion of outrage. Neither thought ran through penny's mind. She was thinking what a respectable size it was. The moment seems to drag, before Leonard clears his throat.

"Here's something right off. If you don't have electricity, you don't need cable."

"Brilliant! I knew you were smart." wrapping her arms around him in a hug. Making sure to press her breasts against him. Pulling back to see him flush. "Let's celebrate." As she grabs the glasses a little of the fiery liqueur spills onto the table. Handing Leonard his, she leans forward, runs her finger through it and pops it in her mouth.

"Waste not, want not. Cheers!" She taps her glass against his but Leonard isn't expecting it and drops the glass onto his lap.

"Sorry!" He apologizes automatically.

"It's ok." She replies suppressing a laugh. "Want me to lick that up as well?"

Leonard jumps up, rushes to the kitchen and grabs a dish towel. Penny downs her drink in one, shuddering at the taste of the cheap liquor. Looking over to see Leonard, hidden from the waist down by the kitchen counter. One hand vigorously rubbing at his crotch.

"Do you need some privacy for that?"

He looks over confused, then down at what he's doing. Flushing with embarrassment, tossing aside the towel.

"What? No! It's not what it looks like. It's just... with you bending over and then I saw down your... I'll just go." The distance between him and the door seems to stretch out before him.

"No!" Penny leaps up. "It's only an accident." Grabbing the glasses and bottles heads towards the counter. Leonard slips closer to the counter to hide his embarrassment. "Anyway you've only just started helping me." Pouring another couple of glasses, she pushes one to Leonard and downs hers in one.

Watching Leonard study her bank statement she's struck with the fact he's actually rather cute. 'Whoa, where did that come from' she thought. He's not the type of guy she'd normally go for, but he's smart and caring, he'd do almost anything for her. Including standing up to her ex and coming home without pants.

"Apart from your rent, and we both don't want you to have to move. Your biggest expense is your acting classes..."

"I need those, I am a professional actress."

"Really? How many paid jobs have you had?"

"That's not the definition of professional."

"No, actually it is." he pushes on, not wanting an argument. And realising he needs to lead penny to her own conclusions instead of presenting the only logical solution. Like a math problem where you have to show your workings. "Let's look at it differently. How long have you been going to these classes?"

"A little over three years. They're really good lessons, the instructors are really positive." he nods supportively.

"And what do the lessons consist of? What makes up a typical class?"

"We usually start by helping ourselves to coffee and Danish, it's awful but it's free. Talk about our week..."

"Auditions and stuff?"

"No, usually just about our lives. Most of the people have been in the classes for quite a while, so we're friends."

"How long does that take?"

"Oh, I don't know. Sometimes perhaps three quarters of an hour." Leonard opens his mouth to point out the obvious, but catches himself.

"Then what do you do?"

"Then we do the exercises."

"And are these exercises new each time or a repeat of those you've done before?"

"Most of the time we've done them before. But as I said we've all been going for some time now and the instructor is super supportive."

"For the $24,000 you've spent so far, it pays them to be supportive, especially if you never get an acting job and keep going back to pay for their lessons."

"Oh my God! Really? That much?"

"You drink 'free' coffee for $40 an hour. Sounds like something you and your friends could do at any coffee shop for a fraction of the price."

"There are free muffins too!" Then she sighs as she begins to accept what Leonard is saying.

"Put it this way, between the lessons and gas money you'll save over $700 a month. That by itself puts you back in the black."

"Wow, you're a genius!" He grins smugly with a 'Yeah I know' look on his face. He picks up his glass and takes a sip.

"Wait! If I'm not taking acting lessons am I still an actress?"

"Of course! By the same definition you use to call yourself an actress now." He finishes off that last comment more under his breath. "You still go to auditions, just only the ones you think you have a real shot at."

"Yeah! I knew you could do it." Picking up her glass to find it empty, refills it and Leonard shakes his head, holding his mostly full glass.

"If I'm not doing lessons and traipsing all over LA for auditions, I have way more time." Leonard nods and puts down his barely touched glass.

"I do have another idea. You enjoy your Yoga right?"

"Yep, I've been doing it since I was ten. I've done almost every type imaginable. And I appreciate you letting me use your apartment. There is more floor space over there to work out."

"Sheldon always says it's just because you don't want to tidy your floor."

"I thought you liked it? You and the guys sure spend enough time watching me."

"We're just admiring your..." He struggles of an acceptable word. "Technique!" 'Yeah and I wear skin tight yoga pants and loose tops just for my comfort!" She thinks.

"Anyway you know that yoga studio around the corner from the Cheesecake factory?"

"Yeah, it's pretty expensive though and it's always full."

"Well, Howard found some pictures online of one of their instructors..."

"God! Was she doing porn?"

"No, actually she was involved in a shootout with the police at a meth lab. So there is a good chance they'll be looking for a replacement. If you're quick you might be able to replace her."

"Great idea. You're my hero." She downs her drink then grimaces. "Excuse me!" Penny rushes from the room heading for the bathroom. Leonard is unsure if he should stay or go until he hears her barfing. Decision made.

Scene: Apartment lobby, Leonard is getting his post when a hung over Penny comes through the door.

"Hey Penny. I thought you were working late today?"

"I was, but I threw up twice in the employee restroom and got sent home."

"Sorry!" He automatically apologises. The pair start walking side by side up the stairs.

"Don't sweat it; it gave me a chance to visit my acting school."

"How did it go?"

"It was a bit emotional quitting the acting class after all these years. But the woman gave me such a patronising look, like 'she'll be back', I suddenly didn't feel so bad that I dinged her car on the way in. I even called the yoga place and you were right. They're giving me an interview tomorrow. I don't have the qualifications they usually want, but they're desperate to cover her classes. Remind me I owe you a big hug and a sloppy kiss when I don't smell so bad."

"I think I can remember that." Leonard replies with an embarrassed smile.

When they get to their floor they separate, but Penny stops at her door.

"Leonard, is it still OK if you could lend me the money for my late rent?"

"Yeah sure, I'll just grab my check book." He gestures to his door.

"Actually, I really need to use your shower, is that Ok? What am I saying? I doubt anyone would complain about a cute girl running through their apartment wearing just a skimpy towel." She enters her apartment. Leonard stares after her then turns and walks into the closed door.

Scene: Leonard and Sheldon's apartment. The boys are in their usual places on the couch when Penny appears from the corridor to the bathroom. She has a large towel wrapped around her head and another wrapped around her that hardly covers her.

"You have no idea how good that was. I feel so much better now. It felt like I'd not showered in a month." Leonard holds up a check.

"You sure you're OK with this?" She asks, walking over to take it. Leonard can only nod as his eyes are glued to the hem of her towel directly in front of his face. "Thanks Leonard, you're the best." Slipping on to his lap and wrapping her arms around him. She leans in and gives him a long lingering kiss on the lips. As she pulls back, he struggles with his jacket pocket for his asthma inhaler.

"Oh I thought I was sitting on that?" She grins and slips off his lap. "Thanks again!" She waves the check.

Sheldon looks over. "Leonard that must have been some check. That kiss was at least five Mississippi's." Leonard just nods, struggling to control his grin.

Scene: Leonard and Sheldon's apartment. The boys, Raj and Howard are in their usual places around the couch when Penny knocks and enters the apartment. She's wearing yoga pants and has a backpack over one shoulder.

"Hey Guys. How's it hanging?"

"We're good; we are having Thai food, care to join us?" Leonard replies.

"No I can't stop I'm on my way out to give a class."

"You got the Yoga instructor's job?"

"Yeah, they offered me 16 hours a week and more if I get some qualifications. They even offered to help me get them. Can a get a bottle of water?" She walks to the fridge and bends suggestively for a bottle from the bottom shelf. She glances back to see Raj, Howard and Leonard sitting with their heads tilted to one side watching her.

"Can I ask you guys something? I've got half a dozen new students, all men, who look like complete beginners to me. Do you know any guys who do yoga?"

"Do we look like the kinda people who know people who exercise?" Howard replies.

"Leonard, can I see you in the hall a moment?" Outside she continues. "I want to thank you again. You totally saved my bacon and I've finally figured out a way to pay you back. In addition to the cash I owe. I'm going to be your own personal dating consultant. Help you with your confidence around women and stuff. Come over to my apartment Sunday night and we can get started?" Confused he just nods as she runs down stairs.

Scene: Penny's apartment, she's sitting on her couch. There is a knock at her door.

"Come on in sweetie its open."

"I brought a bottle of wine, cuz I'm not entirely sure what tonight is about."

"Oh great. I've just finished one. But I shouldn't be drinking, I've an early Yoga class and it's not good for the instructor to be sweating pure alcohol. Tonight we're going to start with some of the basics and see how it goes. First I've written you a blagger's guide to sports. Well actually I searched online for one. I've also prepared notes on celebrity gossip. I know you hate that stuff, but I reckon you have such a big brain you can spare a little room for this." Leonard sighs in resignation and nods.

"Let's head on over to your room and go through your clothes. Just on the off chance you're got something I haven't seen." They pass through the boy's apartment. Sheldon is drawing imaginary equations on the air in front of him, while Leonard hurries to get to his room first. Just in case he's left something embarrassing out. Penny follows up the rear with a large glass of wine. It's not the first time she's been in his room, but this time it's different, she's wearing potential girlfriend glasses. The figurines and posters standout out, but compared to Howard's room with anatomically impossible babes with breasts larger than their heads, these look only mildly childish. 'I suppose it's not that different from my throw pillows and stuffed animals.' she though. His wardrobe was as bad as she'd expected.

"I'm telling you Leonard, a reversible tie does not count as two ties! Is that all the clothes you own?"

"Apart from t-shirts and underwear."

"Looks like I've got my work cut out choosing a grown up wardrobe for you. As we're already here, do you mind if I take a shower?"

"Sure..." is as much as he manages as Penny slips off her T-shirt to stand before him in her bra."

"What?" She asks. He is blushing and has suddenly developed a fascination with his feet. "I've bikinis more revealing than this." Inwardly she's grinning at his embarrassment. "Can you pop over to my place and grab a couple of towels and my shampoo?" as he flees, she feels the familiar buzz from the teasing.

A few minutes later he cracks open the bathroom door.

"Where do you want these?" He asks over the noise of the shower.

"Come in. Hand me the shampoo." Leonard expects her to slip her hand out from behind the shower curtain, but she doesn't. After a long pause he gingerly slips his hand past the curtain.

After a moment he feels soft wet flesh brush against his hand and he nearly drops the shampoo.

"Careful Leonard."

"God I'm sorry. I never meant to..."

"Don't sweat it sweetie. I'm teasing you. You really have to learn to relax more around women. But that's part of what these lessons are for." She improvises. "Unless you want to come in here and scrub my back, why don't you wait for me in my apartment? Oh and get my wine glass from your room."

Unsurprisingly the glass is empty so he refills it and sits to wait. A few minutes later Penny turns up wrapped in her towels and holding her clothes in a bundle. She grabs the wine and heads back to the bedroom. Returning in a white short silk robe with her wine in one hand and a tape measure in the other.

Let's check your size first?" She holds up a tape measure.

"Couldn't I just tell you?"

"Not that I don't trust you, but I rarely find men tell me the truth about their measurements. We'll start at your neck and work down."

Penny measures neck, chest, waist and arm length before patting the coffee table.

"Hop up so I can do your inside leg."

"Are you sure it can take my weight?"

"Sure, it's sturdier than it looks." She replies with a knowing grin.

"Why would you; oh never mind." He blushes as he realises what she means, and steps up as she kneels. Her head is lined up perfectly with his crotch. As she places her fingers close to his groin, he starts to get an erection. It doesn't help that he can see down her cleavage from up here.

She adds this last measurement to her list. She moves back to sit on her couch and he hops down from the table.

"OK, I've already found some things online. If they have your size, I'll email you." She tops up her wine and realises she's half way down her second bottle. "Oh one last thing we didn't check was your underwear." Leonard's jaw drops open and he starts to blush. "Come on Leonard we've all seen each-other's underwear in the laundry room." She gestures to a basket of clean laundry on the chair topped off with a selection of bras. "What's a girl going to think when you take your pants off? It's no good changing the packaging if she unwraps it to find Spider Man briefs?"