All Comments on 'Perfect Penis'

Very well thought out, written, and presented. Keep up the good work,.

I think at least one time in their life all men wished they had the "perfect penis." Your story showed us what it might be like. Thanks.

Not sure where but I have read this before.

The title says it all.

Many of my works are published under my 'Paladin' name at the Erotic Mind Control Archive. I'm trying to repost many of them here.

I appreciate the kind feedback!

Pretty sure most every guy has fantasized about being irresistible to women. You captured the appeal well and the quality of your prose is good. A fun and titillating read!

A few critiques though:

You need more dialogue. Almost the entire story is written in summary form, just relating events in the order they happen. More character interaction would improve things tremendously.

There are too many girls. I realize not everyone will agree with this point (since part of the fantasy of the story is being able to fuck as many women as you want), but erotic stories are at their best when you can get a bit invested in the characters. It's what makes erotica better than porn. This story would have benefited from a smaller, more developed cast of characters. Personally, I found the relationship dynamic between the protagonist and the first three girls to be the most interesting. I would have been happy if the whole story had just been the polyamorous relationship between those four.

You are right. My only excuse is that as I was writing this, I was aiming for an upward progression in the girls. The first experiment, the impulse, the 'out of my league', and finally, the long time crush.