All Comments on 'Perfection Vs. Forgiveness'

Wonderful story! Unbending rigid things are seen as strong but tend to break first and far more easily than things with some flexibility. Love the message of the story. Thank for the read. You did switch up Mark and Fred's names at a point but the story is the thing. 5*

This is the first time I have read your work. Your end note is so true. I love your character Sarah, what an amazing woman.

I guess the beam in Steve's eye was too large to see clearly!

5

Liked it.

Thought provoking story.

The wife was at fault but Steve didn't seem a great guy either.

Sad.

4/5

Personally, I didn't like this very proselytizing story.

It was a real conference, very much oriented towards forgiveness.

Forgiving or not, doesn't make a real man or a better man.

That choice belongs solely to the victim, and it's not compulsory.

Some can and need to forgive, for others it can never be done.

And no, they won't all end up old, bitter and lonely.

Very thought provoking. We are human and we make mistakes.

Cracking tale very sad she should have confronted Steve or ended the marriage before she cheated if she want happy.Cheating is the most hurtful thing a wife or husband can do to their partner ,so it is very difficult in my opinion to just forgive after it’s already happened .Great story through Amber 👌5⭐️

Some people will hate this 5* story.

"Why? Because Sarah didn't suffer! It should be her under the truck! Etc, etc, etc."

You can rationalise it however you want, people cheat because they want to. Its a selfish act that just reveals their selfishness, base nature, weakness and lack of respect they have for their spouses. To forgive infidelity is in itself a weakness. Its is the betrayed partner achnowleging they are worth less in the relationship than the betrayer.

Poor man, if the mother embraces the adulterer upon her betrayed childs death and congratulates her... he's never had a quality woman be a part of his life from the get go, no wonder his picker was off.

Then again, no people of quality at all in this tale.

First of your writings i have read Amber, its well enough written technically, so there is that. Characters though are all just despisable.

3* for a well written story, you lost the other two for spending the last half of it preaching. The story is meant to be the lesson and forgiveness is earned, some people aren't willing to give it - welcome to real life. Stick to the story.

5 stars. Reminded me a bit of "Succession" the HBOMAX series with several cheating husband and wives subplots and everyone who was far less than perfect mentally and physically. A bit short but you told the tale.

Amber, I love how you handled this very thorny issue. Sorry some comments don't understand that prior to her experience she had no comparison to take him to task on. Did she do wrong, yes but we are taught to forgive and let him / her who is without fault (sin) cast the first stone, and they all walked away.

I enjoy your writing because of its practical lessons in a lot of it. As well as some sexy fun :)

5 stars and a a fav. Cheers, Andy

A ittle preachy at the end, but I agree with the sentiment. People are flawed and always will be. Thanks for the story.

You point out a major problem with the LW genre—the unreliable narrator. The devastated husband; the wailing spouse. “ I did everything for them and this is what get in return…” so a cautionary tale.

But… is she a reliable narrator? Everyone dislikes her ex, including his own mother. How did he get to be that way I wonder? Unreliability can be another word for a different perspective. We are often hidden to ourselves. …

A good story and a good lesson. Families cannot function without forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you have to forget, or act like it never happened, or trust the same way you used to trust. Forgiveness doesn't mean that things must go back to the way they use to be. It just means that you let go of the anger and commit to trying to have a good relationship.

However, there is an essential asymmetry that applies. The wife's infidelity is more hurtful to the relationship than the husband's infidelity. The reason is simple: the wife knows that her kids are her kids and the husband hopes that her kids are his kids. The story and the lesson would have been better if you had addressed that.

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As a man, I could forgive a one-off mistake, if certain conditions were met.

1. A brief affair.

2. Expression of true regret.

3. Owning it. No "you made me do it". Willingness to confess it to family.

4. Ending it immediately.

5. Acknowledgement of the damage done and pain inflicted.

6, No requirement for me to "get over it" and for "things to be like they were." I am entitled to my anger and distrust.

7. Bonafide offer of atonement. "I'll do anything," is fine, but additionally, "I will also do x, y, and z." To be a true atonement, x, y, and z must come at some cost to the person offering them.

Hmm, he was an asshole and lousy in bed? Obviously, she should have dumped his ass BEFORE she decided to get her feet in the air. She expected him to forgive her and move on and when he didn't she felt somewhat justified in what she did. It's kind of like saying "My family was starving, so I robbed the bank." It doesn't work that way. Try as you might, she is not entitled to a free pass just because she wanted one.

I'm glad she was able to work things out when the shoe was on the other foot, but that was her choice, it was not forced on her by her cheating husband's self-entitlement

Well written, and an enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing.

Not about to analyze your storyline or character actions/flaws, but as you know others will. Well written piece that is real, whether as you say this is true story. Thought you illustrated that relationships are dynamic, they ebb/flow because between real people. Nicely done.

I have a couple of minor criticisms. First, six weeks of training is an awfully long time without a conjugal visit. Who has a job that they can be away from for 6 weeks? I am sure it happens, but the story would have worked just as well with two weeks. (I said it was minor).

/

The other is that Steve was a little over the top. He greets her with "I don't want anyone seeing us with you looking so terrible." And he makes the decision to divorce her within 5 minutes. I am sure that there are people like that. Then he goes to pieces, becomes a drunk, loses everything, and throws himself under a bus. He is basically a cartoon. Anyone who makes a decision that fast, was probably looking for a reason to dump her. He is not a good foil; he is essentially a brick wall with the poster of a man plastered to it. As another comment suggested, it is probably his mother's fault. He has been twisted so much, that he is now worked hardened and brittle. Your lesson boils down to: it is better to be a human being than a brick wall.

/

A better foil would be a thinking person who agonizes over the decision and ultimately makes the wrong choice. Let him go to counseling. Let it take six months. That foil could be one your readers. Steve, as written, could never be one of your readers. You could bring out the pros and cons of reconciliation through dialog with Steve.

I think the story is well done. It's this author's universe and we are getting a peek into it. 5*

It's good to learn to move on. The rationalizing to deal with the guilt was over the top. Steve did not just become unbending that day. She even realized she did not really love him, so let it go. More than likely there was a subconscious need to end it. She knew the affair would end it. She was not happy most cheating happens then. Not because of big dicks,the need to feel attractive, or empty nest. Just unhappiness which in the short term leads to more. If she wanted to she could of worked on being happy before the incident, but as humans that is not how were wired. Great story...very real.

well written and well done story.

Feels a bit preachy. Was there a reason behind Steve's inflexibility? You said this was based on a real life situation, maybe the real "Steve" had valid reasons to feel the way he did. Maybe his mother had cheated on his dad. After all MIL was quick to forgive, perhaps she saw herself in Sarah. Maybe her failed marriage drove Steve to try and make a perfect marriage for himself. Mmm, the main point is that Sarah did cheat and she holds the blame for the divorce. Steve's inflexibility was not the finger on the trigger. If Sarah had she not cheated, his inflexibility may have been the cause of a future breakup. As written, Sarah did not plead her case well and did poorly explaining why what happened, had happened.

Interesting but frankly the clumsy agitprop is way to heavy handed. While it is apparently a “true” story, it is told so poorly and is so one sided it moves from the realm of story to child parable…ie one dimensional cartoon cutout anti type characters and no pathos. In short this may have been cathartic to write, it is droll in the extreme to read.

2 stars

Nice little story highlighting many home truths.

I’m sure if Lit member Highbrow reads this he’ll do his ‘I am groot’ impression with his ‘female agitprop’ knee jerk response.

Fantastic story, with a wonderful point of view. Forgiveness and reconciliation isn’t always the right call, but if there’s no chance it can be, at all, you probably didn’t belong together in the first place.

Let's be honest here, this is far from a "mistake". She carried out her betrayal deliberately. No twinges of guilt or little warnings going off in her head as she's cheating. Only after the fact. From the way it's written, these two should have broken it off before slut ray hit. And I find her "remorse" or her attempt to make it up a bit far fetched.

Funny how so often in LW stories, problems like this arise when children marry. 17? Please - getting married the day after you graduate high school is one of the stupidest things a person of either gender can do. (And yes, I do know once in awhile it works out OK for those so young, but the numbers paint a very pessimistic set of odds.) At 17, most people are still very immature: impulsive judgment mixed with zero life experience, a bad basis for building a stable relationship. “High School Sweethearts” is generally a melodramatic and overly romanticized notion that is so often doomed to fail. Amber, you skillfully present this couple as a classic example of why all these things are true: Steve is clearly grotesquely immature, perfectionistic, rigid and egocentric, and Sarah was too immature to realize she had a very unhappy life with him. Dating a few guys, having a few sexual relationships before marrying, all help a person develop an appreciation for what they want and need in a marriage. The overly romanticized notion of being a virgin on one’s wedding night is no help to anyone and in fact can often do a great disservice to a couple’s stability and chances for being a long-term success.

In my limited view of life, I have found that those that are most paranoid of how they are viewed are most critical of others , and by far, the most insecure.

You did well in telling this tale. I just found the ending to sort of rattle on a bit too Llong well after the main point was made

Then divorce. Then go to marriage counseling. She's 29 not 19. She's a grown up. Her husband was a jerk so do something about it or leave. She's an unfaithful woman, look what her husband did. He left. He's this big ole meanie but he made a valid decision. And I'm sorry but fuck remorse. Remorse might make the cheated feel a little better but remorse doesn't have anything to do with trust.

No it wasn't a single mistake. Many conscious decisions need to be made from first meeting to landing in bed together. And every single decision she made was the wrong.

And no "Why did they cheat on me? Was it me?" does not fly. "Why did he beat me? Was it me?" How does that sound? Maybe you neglect your kids, blow all the family money on drugs, cheat with everyone, had the kids pets put to sleep for no reason, are a bigot and to top it all off you didn't have dinner finished when your husband got home from work. Still no reason to be beaten.

And the glowing review she had of her affair partner just remember this dude was trying to get laid. How good can any man be if he's trying to screw a married woman?

Sorry, the story doesn't work. Steve was an asshole as portrayed, being overly critical and too worried about what others would think of them and their marriage.

But 12 years and then the wife cheats? It took her that long to discover she was not happy in her marriage?

And it is going to be the one time and she expects forgiveness? He is 'too petty' and too rigid to accept it? Nope. Does not work like that.

For one thing, why no kids after all that time? There are undisclosed problems there.

It’s not much of a story. The characters act like props instead of real people. I guess you could say this is a moral in search of an actual plot and characters.

This lame justification for cheating doesn't fly. There are better alternatives for everything that happened.

I enjoyed your story, I only seen to errors, one you called her 2nd husband mark and the second error is in your closing remarks, no one truly sets out to find a mate that they can control, you make it sound like it is someone’s evil plan that they put into play to find a mate. In reality some people are more dominant than others and some are more submissive than others. A lot of our traits are based on how we were raised and those that influenced us. Unfortunately we are living in a time where we do not teach our children to be truly independent, nor do we teach them to be responsible four their own actions, it seems everything today is always someone else’s fault.

You add to that that we have a generation of quitters that at the first sign of problems they want to quit and move on to something or someone else.

Marriage is something that you have to work to maintain, you have to be willing to let your partner know what you see is wrong in your relationship, if your not happy in your marriage/relationship it’s your own fault because your not willing to confront the issues so they can be corrected. While I understand your character’s actions, she did nothing to fix her situation with her husband, she had plenty of opportunities to call him and ovoid her subduction, but that unfortunately happens a lot, we find ourselves in a situation that we fail to remove ourselves from believing that we are in control of ourselves.

Again very good story and I look forward to reading more from you.

I liked this. Got me to think…..and isn’t that one of the main reasons a story is good?

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People are IMPERFECT. In this story, the wife cheated, but felt true remorse and confessed. The husband went nuclear. The wife tried hard to get him to forgive her. But he couldn’t….or more precisely, wouldn’t.

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The story after the divorce exposed hubby as a real jerk. In truth, she was well rid of him. Which is NOT to excuse her infidelity…at all. But she managed to make lemonade out of the spoiled lemon of her marriage, while Steve just rotted away. And when she had to deal with her 2nd spouse doing to her what she did to Steve, she had the character….formed by experience, to forgive and move forward.

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5 *****

First of all, saying this was true added nothing. You may think that it adds veracity to the story, but it doesn't.

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Second. I find it difficult, if not impossible, to believe that an "alpha" like Mark would wait SIX weeks for HER to make a move. HE would have made a move before the first week was over, and if not successful, would have moved on to another target.

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I seriously question if she would have been so forgiving if she hadn't gone through the result of her cheating first.

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I also seriously question Steve's breakdown.

not erotic but defiantly makes you think and evaluate

Quite interesting. 4

This one is hard. Very well written. Very thought provoking. Triggering to anyone that has been cheated on, as it blames the victim in its way, while the perpetrator goes on to a happy life. 4/5 stars.

I don’t care for this story. It’s very rare that I am a critic of any story. But because you tried to weave a web of lies to make her the roll of a good person and crucify him you went overboard

3* it feels as though your character is trying to diminish her actions and her behaviour. She acknowledges that she's cheated but just expects her husband to forgive her for it on the spot when he has literally just learned about her betrayal. Then, because the husband is unwilling to forgive his wife and has judged her in a way he doesn't like (his judgement some could argue is not completely accurate and harsher, but the man has just discovered the person he was planning to spend his life with has betrayed him) he is unable to get past it and eventually kills himself?

The story started off strong but got weaker and weaker with you attempting to turn the person who has cheated into a victim. If you had started the story with a little background first, an explanation as to the relationship between the couple, how he is an emotional sadist and perfectionist as well as a narcissist and how he uses those tools to manipulate his wife then it would be a more balanced/realistic story. The way you've laid it out makes it seem as if you're attempting to justify and belittle the main character's cheating:

.She cheated

. She told him

. He didn't forgive her

. He called her names

ALL OF A SUDDEN HE'S NOT WORTHY OF HER!!

.he's manipulator

.He always criticise her

.He deserves to die.

Think it has the potential to be an amazing sory but I think the way you presented and laid it out fucked it up

3 stars for an average story.

To me, this is just another writer trying to explain human frailty or weakness. In this example, a predator took advantage of a naive young woman, because he could. Whenever I have been confronted with similar circumstances, I usually try to advise the victim to take a serious look at their spouse and to seek counselling. I have also stepped between an angry or drunk couple and forcefully made the male back off for 24 hours. It did work to diffuse the situation at the moment, but eventually they divorced. In several other cases, the couples remain together after some serious counselling and life changes. You win some and lose some, but I never encountered the extreme situations expressed in most of the stories in this category. However, I have to say that the individual stories that use some sort of humour to disclose the cheating person (without violence) are the best stories in this category.

So it was the husbands fault the slut cheated? Nope. She couldn't/wouldn't tell him why, but just that he should trust her to not do it again? Nope. He should have dumped her and rightfully did. Did she take any responsibility for his failure to thrive or be able to trust other women going forward? Nope. He should have gotten over her for sure, but the slut rationalized that was HIS problem, not hers. She felt bad about it and that was enough? Nope.

Nicely done

You did good. 👍

This is intellectually and emotionally confused. If Steve was as awful as the author presents him, then it was a lousy marriage to begin with and Sarah should not have been as broken up and guilt-ridden as she was. The reader is left totally unclear as to whether in fact it was a “perfect” or even decent marriage to begin with. Steve said it was and Sarah’s grief would seem to make it so. But we are told later that everyone agreed that Steve was awful and Sarah fortunate to be rid of him. Huh? And her immediate forgiveness of Fred’s adultery seems glib and unrealistic. The point the author wants to make is an important and valid one, but the story she embodies it in is inadequate to her task.

I get he was a pompus ass and too rigid, and I also don't believe you forgive cheating just like that. So I don't buy into this premise, but did this bitch just say that God gave her the first marriage so she could appreciate her second? That's some physics bending gymnastics to get to that conclusion. If you're one of those people who believe marriage is a covenant between the couple and God, then there is no practice marriages. I don't personally believe that but I also don't buy the shit she was selling.

3*. Would have been a five for a little more innocence on the wife's part. dancing and flirting for weeks beforehand gives a premeditative air to the story. I am fine with forgiveness for one-offs with proper penance, but she set this whole thing up. A five would have been, she went out with everyone, got drunk, and did the dirty but they never hung out together. The dancing with the guy thing reeks of premeditation on both their parts. Really she would have been better off to saying to his proposal of marriage, "No. You are a raging asshole!"

GREAT story Amber!!! Congratulations!

Seems easy to judge hubby to be an asshole, because that's the way he was written. I'll even grant your point on forgiveness vs. perfection, but let's not forget that you only need forgiveness when you're in the wrong. Might be worthwhile to lend a little introspection to the fact that the entire episode was based on HER cheating. Maybe before you sermonize about forgiveness you should work on fidelity.

I'm insufficiently convinced that Steve is a villain here. Sarah's action is very hard to forgive, and expecting him to do so while she refuses to give him the answers for how to ensure it won't happen again means she's unrepentant and wants license, not forgiveness. If you really don't want to repeat an offense, you work to find ways to stop the steps that led to it this time.

Was it a first time cheating or is she a serial cheater

I have a big issue... BIG, with people (both sexes) and their guilt about cheating and their subsequent "confessing."

In my humble view, all this... most anyway, is the result of this monogamous marriage myth. That one person, over multiple years, is going to be the only one to give us love, attention, and good sex until death. And that if we dare step out, we are shit, walking the earth, and must be shamed by society or through our own sense of guilt. The fact is that as life progresses, people change, often not for the best. Only through communication and understanding can one spouse bring the other down from the crazy tree. Some spouses refuse to be honest with each other out of fear. Fear that their inner feelings, their true self, will be a reason for their spouse to leave them. And that is pure manipulation of the other spouse.

Sex and marriage. I know this will piss people on LW off, but sex is not love. Sex is fun. Or is it supposed to be. Yet some use sex as a weapon in marriage; they withhold it or offer it as a reward for other gains. AND after years of sex with the same person, it gets stale. Not only that, but sex with one's spouse is not just sex. We bring to bed all our life issues (bills, kids, in-laws, jobs, failings, etc.) Sex with someone outside has none of those drawbacks. It is pure fun. So I didn't need an explanation of why the MC of the story did it.

But. She went home and told him. Not only did she cheat, but she also stabbed him under the belt and twisted the knife. I knew right there she had issues with him. A person who had a dalliance that meant nothing and still wants the marriage to continue keeps it to themselves to not hurt their spouse. She tossed it in her face, not out of guilt, but as an act of defiance. If she felt sorry about what she did, she would spend the rest of their marriage making up for it. BUT... The guy was a self-absorbed slug that was clearly not worth it, which is why she stabbed him in the gut.

The reality, boys and girls, is that your monogamy myth is just that. You delude yourselves into thinking you have a perfect marriage until you don't. Try talking to each other. And accept the reality that sex IS just sex. If you are not selfish and consider your spouse your slave. If you don't think you own the other's genitals.

You conventional basics look down at us with open marriages or swingers and think you are so much better. Yet you are the most likely to cheat, divorce, and ruin your children's childhood and life over your egos.

Here is a thought. GROW THE FUCK UP. You left high school years ago.

Steve as a character is a guy you see more then a few of in the world. At work, the narrow minded jerk, who is never wrong. If he screws up, it is someone else. If someone else screws up,he is all over them.

What made him odious is shown when she tells him she cheated. It isn't he is upset he broke his trust , it isn't the betrayal....it is that she broke 'the perfect marrisge',which of course is his doing and she ruined it. What an ass, good god she was lucky this happened, who would want to be married to a jerk like this?

Not bad, would have been better if you gave a glimpse of Steve and Sarah's dynamic before she went to the conference

This had all the emotion of an IKEA manual.

Here we are in the comments where the black & white world exists in absolutes of stygian onyx and blizzard-whiteout. It's a scientific fact that existence under those conditions--without greying variance of shade or shadow--will drive a person insane. Hey, there's our answer!

*

Great story.

Completely agree with @GladstonGliese

"And I wouldn't have the life Mark and I and our children have now."

I'm confused. When did she get rid of Fred?

Interesting story, with one way through it. Yes, forgiveness might have helped in a couple of ways.

But, before the cheating, wifey decided she would, or that it would be okay to, cheat, and she did, with someone who made her "feel good."

Hubby was correct that he could (probably) never trust her again. "Feeling good" is a crap reason.

It's a shame wifey did not take that "it's okay to cheat" feeling and realize instead that the couple, or she, needed to get some counseling, get the marriage fixed, or herself re-centered. Steve may have changed if he saw the problem, or they may have split more amicably as she worked on herself.

But, cheating is easier.

I guess it's okay that Steve circled the drain and died, he was an asshole, amirite?

Ugghhh...

There is more than the singular moral of forgiveness in this parable, but also DON'T CHEAT, learn something when you realize you are about to cheat, and fix yourself or the situation, work on it.

Good story

Good story — not fiction (for those who missed that note). Some people sit on the pot longer than others. My mom put up with a despicable asshole until he died after 46 years. Then she married a sweetheart. This is a story about living life— turning lemons into lemonade. Nice job.

Ed

Interesting read but far too much from the one person view, what were the husbands thoughts on his wife for example. Did she please him or make him feel good about himself? It’s hard to tell and in what way was she going to make it up to him? ImKeays curious when cheating wife’s say they’ll make up for it or be the best wife ever. Were they not doing their best prior to cheating.

Although unhappy with her husband she still thought their life and marriage was worth fighting for but given everything everyone, including her and his mom why did she believe this?

So the guys a jerk, even gos mum thought so / but no-one pulled him up on this? Sometimes bad behaviour and attitude can be sorted out with help from people who care? Bit no/one tries?

And twelve year marriage with no kids? Although husband was right, it would have been worse for him (him not the wife) if kids were involved

He was very fragile, most of us who have been cheated on manage to recover and even re-marry better people and don’t fall apart when someone betrays you. Women, like men, are replaceable as there’s plenty of others out there.

Seemed like a morality lecture on forgiveness but also on how important women are these days. Nope, their shit stinks too.

To forgive doesn't mean to forget. That's point 1 both the main character and author have failed to realize.

Point two. Communication is key. Asshole husband had every right to leave. He only asked why she did it. And she refused to answer. That's on her. Not just the cheating. Even RAAC people all agree how important honesty and communication is. She didn't value those things. So she has no right to sit there pontificating about the morality of forgiveness.

She also could have asked for a divorce if she was honest about how much she had grown to dislike her man.

You've made two extremely unlikable people. You tried really hard to make the husband sound bad and her sound good. But the facts prove she's not a good person. And he's not a monster. He needed therapy for his perfectionism because it made him unlikable. But he never went out of his way to be mean like she did. So it's a wash.

Sometimes it is the message in the story that is important. I've seen good people and bad people fall and never recover. We do the best we can. There is no fateful plan. Nobody to watch over us. It's just us...and then we are gone.

Yes no sex in this story but I actually found it to be hot in a way. My wife cheated on me and I totally forgave her. Years ago when that tight ring went on my finger I almost became hard. I never forgot that moment and I’m hers forever. It’s true that she begged for forgiveness, but of course she knew I would. Her precious little cuckold, still with that tight ring on his finger…

JT

Sarah's proclamation: "You're human" is just another rendition of The Perfection Diversion, or “Nobody’s Perfect!” and “Everybody makes mistakes!” nationalization for unethical behavior.

This is only a legitimate defense if, in fact, an person has been accused of not being perfect. However, it is usually employed as an attempt to minimize the significance of genuine misconduct. When an act suggests that more than an honest mistake or that an individual’s conduct indicates a broader lack of character or ethical sensitivity, “Nobody’s perfect!” and “Everybody makes mistakes!” or "We're only Human" are not only inappropriate and irrelevant, but are presumptively efforts to change the subject away from the bad decisions and bad behavior of the individual. Though nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes, we are all still accountable and responsible for the bad decisions and bad behavior we make and the consequences and repercussions of those actions.

Good lesson of life.

luverlybubbly: it was her first, and only, time cheating. Sarah thought she was happy in her marriage. Marrying at 17, she literally knew no better. Getting to spend time away from her hubby opened her eyes to what a dickhead he was.

To all those saying, "Ok, but she could have done things differently!" Granted, can't argue with that. But show me anything people do that couldn't be done better. And when you add emotion to the mix? Forget about logic!

To all those who liked the story: many thanks! I can't tell you how deeply I appreciate your kind words!

To all those who didn't like the story, but had constructive criticism: many thanks. I have left those comments up. Just because I disagree doesn't mean I don't think your comment was valid.

To the anonymous posters: If your comment was valid criticism, even though I disagree, I left those up. Every story can be improved. I thank you for your reasoned criticism.

To any commenter who made a personally disparaging remark on myself, whether anonymous or not? Those I deleted.

To the absolutely brain-dead anonymous commenters: Those got deleted.

And to those who gave low ratings just because they don't like this kind of story in LW? Guys, the joke's on you. Every low rating counts as an increase in the number of ratings. Every time you look at the story, it counts as a view. You're just bumping those numbers higher. Currently it's sitting with 850 ratings, 28K+ views, and 26 favorites. In only a bit more than 48 hours. Thank you!

So some folks don't like this category of story in LW? Boo-hoo. I thought it should go in non-erotic, because of the lack of sex. But as I'm still pretty new on Literotica, when I submitted the story, I put a note for the admins to say they could put it in whatever category they felt was best. And lo and behold, the owners and admins of this site chose Loving Wives. Good enough for me!

And seriously: if you don't like this kind of story, if you hate it so badly, why do you even read them? I promise you, I am no part of anyone's political agenda to make men look bad, good, or purple. Politics? I don't care.

And for the haters: one last item:

Before this particular story, I had 96 followers. In a little more than 48 hours, that has jumped to 119.

So: You have managed to give me tons of views, tons of ratings, and more followers.

Y'all might want to rethink your strategy.

Sorry the hubby might have had problems, but for her to cheat and then offer him no answers what did she expect and as a result of her mistake the poor man suffered.

Good story. Noticed one use of a wrong name. “ And I wouldn't have the life Mark and I and our children have now.” Name should be Fred.

This is a well balanced story of two spouses that are immature and claim no responsibility for their actions. The most revealing sentence by the wife was when her husband said he wanted a divorce, she responded “It was a MISTAKE (caps to add emphasis). It was no mistake. A mistake is when you reach for ketchup and grab mustard instead. Here a wife, all the while stone cold sober, drinks, dances and lets him enter her room and does the deed with him. Her actions were absolutely understood by her and she chose cheating over her marriage vow to forsake all others. That simple. Yes, there were problems in the marriage, but she never chose to talk about it with her husband and demand counseling or file for a divorce The husband is out of sync with reality and treats his wife abusively. He just cares about appearances.

I am sure many couples divorce for the any or all ofreasons as this story… an unloving or abusive spouse, or a wife who chooses to break a solemn vow and cheat rather than try to talk first or leave first or divorce first like a immature child. Neither is a good spouse in this story just 2 jack*sses

It seems to me that Fred’s cheating allowed her to forgive and accept herself. The Protagonist treated Fred the way she wished she had been treated after confessing her infidelity.

Excellent Author and excellent work. My only suggestion is that the Protagonist not use the word mistake. This is not a mistake but horrific choice ( made entirely consciously and sober). Of course her husband 100% ruined the marriage. But cheating is never a mistake l(like putting the wrong item in the grocery cart) but a terrible and hurtful betrayal.

I loved this, well written and told. easy 5*

Loved this. There are far too many Steves in this world

@Amber Solis: Concerning those who spew their venom in Comments, compare those numbers to those who actually read and vote. Yes, they scream, "One staaaaaaaaaar!" as their eyes cross and bug out with the effort. Yet, for each of those crazies, two-, three-, five- or ten-score read and vote anonymously and mostly honestly.

Why do you think "haters" affects your followers? Readers follow you if they like your writing. Whether others like it or not doesn't matter.

Finally, someone who gets it

sbrooks103x, that was the point I was trying to make. The "haters" have had a net benefit effect for me by adding tons of ratings, more followers, more "views."

@Amber, the haters add views, I doubt they follow you, and they probably rate you low, so I wouldn't be happy to have haters. I've already decided that I won't post many, if any, stories under this ID because I've accumulated too many haters, mainly due to my comments.

I liked this, completely turned many of the tropes on their heads. Nicely done, a rare tale where the adultery is for the best. Somehow, I suspect the “Sexecutioner” will be a bit less sanguine in his response, should he read this story.

If she wasn't a cheater herself I wonder how she really would have reacted to her second husbands cheating.

bobareeno: Sexecutioner did see it and left a comment. While on the surface, Sexecutioner's comment was somewhat standoffish, moderately stormy, perhaps even overly rhetorical, dare one say it?

But when you read between the lines ... it ain't so bad!

Apologies to Rob Reiner!

Quite remarkable; the message of forgiveness for marital foibles is moving. Many, many fundamentally good marriages could have been saved if forgiveness had been granted.

Deep, and good.

Steve was an ass

The old testitmement and the new testament both say no screwing anybody but your husband or your wife. In the story or in your friends life she fuck up. Bad girl but not for us to judge but she will be.

Was she immature yes, did she fuck up her fist marriage, yes if she had ke kept her legs cross crossed, who knows what would have happened.

However in this time and place she didn't and as a result. Shit happens. Oh well life goes on.

Here again the whore walked why because she never fucked another guy.. Fred dodged the big bullet but they had problems and ended up in counseling. Was she seeing other guys? We'll never know but they made it. Was it worth it.

What a superb comparison of rigid, pig-headed arrogance versus the human power to allow imperfection. It is even more profound that it is based on real people and events.

Thank you for the excellent writing and fine story.

Yes, EARNED forgiveness is a very good thing. Earned means remorse but also restitution. The betrayed spouse has to define what must be done for that restitution. A "***k Y**!" and instant divorce filing without at least discussing it shows a lack of wisdom in extremis. I don't believe answering an admission of guilt with a hug and "we'll work it out" without emoted anger is very real. But then, the cheating husband made the admission of remorse, and the female protagonist was older with more wisdom. I would have liked to read what restitution she required in counseling. The other part of that wisdom which this story well illustrates is that wisdom means respect too, helping a partner overcome their faults rather than nit picking them to death. Your job as a martial partner is to have their back and help buck them up in an often difficult world. My first wife commited suicide at age 28 with a 3 yr-old under circumstance I thought my fault at the time. It wasn't given her chronic depression after becoming a mother, but the guilt made me bitter and wary for years. My second wife had been seriously physically and mentally abused by her first husband before her divorce and brought significant emotional baggage to our marriage. So we were two wary people with trust issues who succeeded by extending forgiveness for each other's faults. So I really liked this story.

5 stars for the writing but I feel like you don’t really understand infidelity. You ask that a person look within themselves to ask what they did to cause their partner to cheat. This is the same BS espoused by cheating apologists like Esther Perel. Nothing another person does justifies cheating. If you are unhappy, then divorce or sign up for counseling. Sarah didn’t cheat because she was unhappy with Steve. Her husband is barely a thought in her mind when she cheats. She did it because she was selfish and the other guy gave her the feels.

It’s always good to get a different perspective in the LW category, unfortunately this missed the mark. Still, giving you 5* for your writing.

Entitled bitch. Blames it on the husband because she couldnt keep her legs closed and didnt talk about her problems before hand. Totally her fault

Amber Solis: You are a wise woman. Thank you for your story. Now go to You Tube and plug in Ray Price, For the Good Times. I could hear the beautiful old song as I read Perfection/Forgiveness. Stay strong.

Sarah is acting like she was the victim when she cheated, then got all in upset that Steve asked if it was her first time. Then used the old standby of I well make it up to you Steve. How do you make it up to him?

Also Sarah already said The sex was far better than with my husband. Steve if he stayed would be competing with her memory of Mark with out knowing it,

All of this is told from Sarah view, so did Steve act like a jerk or is Sarah trying to look better then the whore she is,

Sarah cheated because she was unhappy, and did not talk about like an adult with her husband. The nlied about why, if she had told him the truth maybe he would have stayed to work it out. But since she would not say why how can what caused it be fixed.

Anonymous, you wrote: "Sarah is acting like she was the victim when she cheated, then got all in upset that Steve asked if it was her first time. Then used the old standby of I well make it up to you Steve. How do you make it up to him?

"Also Sarah already said The sex was far better than with my husband. Steve if he stayed would be competing with her memory of Mark with out knowing it,

"All of this is told from Sarah view, so did Steve act like a jerk or is Sarah trying to look better then the whore she is,

"Sarah cheated because she was unhappy, and did not talk about like an adult with her husband. The nlied about why, if she had told him the truth maybe he would have stayed to work it out. But since she would not say why how can what caused it be fixed.

I wanted to respond because there have been many comments along similar lines. And you stated your points very clearly, so:

1.) Yes, Sarah was the victim. From the moment she met her first husband, Steve, as a very young woman. Her husband never had any interest in a marriage that was an equal partnership. That's why he sought out a girl who was just barely old enough to legally get married. He controlled and manipulated her their entire marriage. And she literally did not know any better. She thought she was happy. But for any man who treats a woman as something to be controlled, guess what is likely to happen? One day, sooner or later, she's going to meet someone who shows a better side of life, even if it is only the briefest glimpse. So, in a very real sense, Sarah absolutely was the victim, and having that affair saved her because for one brief moment she saw life could be much better.

2.) How would she have made it up to Steve? Don't know. Like so many things in their marriage, he shut down any and all further discussion. He filed for the divorce because he realized he no longer controlled her. Her affair was only the excuse he used. Guys like him don't actually care about anyone other than themselves. SO: Sarah was never given any chance to make it up to him. That was his fault.

3.) Yes, the sex was better than with her husband. Steve never did anything for Sarah's pleasure, and again, she didn't know any better. But when she encountered a man who did take the time to find out what his partner liked, BOOM goes the dynamite.

4.) Story is told from Sarh's point of view: well, yeah. It's her story.

5.) Sarah never tried to talk to Steve or get counseling: Again, she was a very young woman, and Steve manipulated and controlled her the entire time. Add to that: do you really think a guy like Steve would ever even seriously consider counseling? I can assure you, he would not even consider it for one moment. And then he's make her feel bad for weeks, using it as a bludgeon to keep her in line.

5.) a.) When she lied, she was in panic mode, not thinking clearly. And it wouldn't have made any difference, anyway, because if she had told him, "He made me feel good. He made me happy. And that was for the whole time before we even had sex!", he would have left.

5.) b.) Steve also never gave her a chance to explain herself.

I tried to make this all apparent in the context of the story, rather than one long info dump that drags on for four pages that do nothing to move the core message of the story forward: which is: People are going to fuck up, and make bad mistakes. You can forgive and move on, or you can die in a tomb made out of your own bitterness.

Oh, one final comment: one anonymous respondent said they thought: "I don't understand infidelity."

How I wish you were correct.

You made a good case for her infidelity, but I don’t buy it. Steve was absolutely an ass, but she could have divorced him before she cheated. Despite people like Ic69 cheering any instance of cheating, I don’t think cheating is ever justified for any reason. That’s just my opinion.

You cheat hes ends up killing himself, and you dont blame yourself?

Unbelievable!!!

Anonymous wrote: "You cheat hes ends up killing himself, and you dont blame yourself?

Unbelievable!!!"

The good news, just for you, is: in real life, nobody died. Though the real-life Steve did have a period of rapid personal growth due to some major emotional turbulence. In real life, both went on to meet others and have had good lives. The two of them are even friends, now. Years later. Shit happens. Life goes on. You can spend the rest of your life pissed off at the entire universe for subjecting you to the same trials as the other 8-billion of us are dealing with. OR, you can try and make a bad situation better. Try and learn something along the way.

Reactions like this to this story continue to amaze me. Second-highest viewed story I have posted, with the lowest rating. With, by far, the most comments. Almost like a literary version of the fabled "Howard Stern Effect": a lot of people who listen to his show hate him, and just listen for the next thing he says that will piss them off. "A lot of us are happier when we're mad," as Kenny White said. I should write a paper on this.

Anyway: "Lighten up, Francis."

In the last part after Sarah has married Fred, the author makes the serious but common editing mistake of switching the name of her second husband to "Mark", the name of the guy she cheated with. These name switches just leap out at me and completely drop me out of the story. I have to believe these errors would do the same thing to the author if they did a final careful edit reading. I conclude they did no such reading. This shows no respect for the reader, the story, or themself.

This is a well-written tale. It does indeed have elements of tragedy, and some familiar characters. Steve was definitely controlling. Sarah really screwed up, but she had married to young, had never orgasmed with her husband, and quite possibly lacked the skills to fend off a molester who would go after a married woman.

Yes, Mark sort of got off easily (pun intended). He got what he wanted, and then disappeared. To me, marriage molesters are almost as bad as child molesters . . . not quite, mind you . . . but definitely of the same selfish mindset . . . They go after what they want, and it doesn't matter who gets hurt. And generally, destroying marriages is legal just to get one's jollies is quite legal.

Steve was indeed kind of an unforgiving, obnoxious jerk, but if he'd never gone after a married woman (other than his wife) then he is a MUCH better person than Mark will ever be. I wonder if Fred had ever gone after a married woman. Did she think to ask?

I like that the story creates a lot of mixed feelings. Nobody's a really good person, but only Mark is somewhat of a villain . . . and maybe Sarah a bit, though youth and inexperience often leads to horrendous errors in judgement, with potentially devastating consequences.

This was a good exploration of characters. I really enjoyed it!!