Perspectives Series: Jess Pt. 02

Yes, I'll pick you up. Your shit is in the workout room in the basement. I'm sure this will piss-off T, which is why I did it. J

I replied: Don't forget -- the 25^th. I'll e-mail you my itinerary. Any chance you can get me Jessie's phone number? I want to call her before I head out of town again.

I waited by the monitor for a reply. The thought of talking to her again made me nervous. There were a few things I needed to straighten out with Jess. But if she's with someone else, then there is no point.

Martin was slow to reply, but it finally arrived: I think we have a phone book for the whole neighborhood, but I don't know where it is. Have to ask T.

I was quick on the keyboard: Don't ask Teresa. Try to find it. If she knows that I'm looking for Jessie's number, she'll throw the book away.

Teresa can be very cunning when it comes to shit like that. She has never liked Jess, mainly because of Sarah, and I wouldn't put it past her to do something spiteful.

Martin's reply: OK.

I started going over plans for the next few days. My replacement, Deepak comes today. I have to go get him at his hotel and bring him to the office. I've been reduced to chauffeur, lately. Deepak spends tomorrow in Orientation, and then I have Thursday and Friday to get him acclimated. There wasn't much to turnover; my part of the project was over, and Deepak was coming to work on the next phase, which wouldn't really start for a couple weeks.

Next weekend is my going away party that Jeff insisted on. He has been 'seeing' the same girl for a couple weeks now -- this is a record for Jeff. He called her friend on my behalf, and so I actually have a date for the evening. I'm definitely going to fuck her this time. I've been picturing her with those high heels bent over the end of my sofa. I could use it. Shit, I haven't had sex since...

I could feel myself growing stiffer but the image that was in my head wasn't of that girl. I was remembering that look of total abandon on Jess's face. That still gets me.

OK, back to reality. This is definitely not the place for this...dead kittens, dead puppies, dead kittens, dead puppies, Teresa.

There! That did it. That bitch is good for something.

I started surfing the real estate sites on the internet. I didn't particularly want to buy another house, but I couldn't see any way out of it. I don't know where the time goes when you're surfing. A glance at the clock told me that I was probably running late for my hotel pickup. Traffic was really bad in the city, and the slightest problem led to waiting in the car for hours. I knew there was little hope of having a clean ride all the way to....Oh, shit, where is this guy staying, again?

Oh, yeah. He's at the JW Marriott.

Chapter 4

At some point during the flight, I was thinking about this episode of Sex and the City called Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda, or the other way around, I couldn't remember exactly. It was a phrase coined by Samantha in this particular episode, and her exact voice speaking those words kept resonating in my head. Only most of mine were Shouldas.

I could have called Simon's company and asked them the name of their affiliate in Dubai.

I should have done more research on Dubai.

I should have waited before booking the trip.

I should have at least looked at a map or something.

I should have learned a little more about the culture.

I know exactly SQUAT about this place.

Somewhere over the ocean in the middle of the night, terror struck me as I recalled that I did not pack my birth control pills for next week. I needed to start taking them on Monday, following my period. I don't know why this brought terror. I wasn't having sex, and the true likelihood of me finding Simon was probably a hundred to one. Just one more thing to add to the list:

I should have packed my birth control.

The plane landed at night. The city lights gave me somewhat of an early indication of the size of the place. It was nothing like seeing it in the daylight, though.

Dubai was ENORMOUS! I spent Friday walking around the shops in the Marriott, getting a map of the city, and trying to get over the shock of the number of residents. And the number of Americans living there, the Ex-Pats, was staggering. So much for the notion that it would be easy to locate an American. I quickly changed my mind about my odds. It was more like twenty thousand to one. Or worse...

You could see cranes and construction equipment of all sorts everywhere. I took to strolling around construction sites, scanning the workers. At least Simon had blonde hair and that would be easy to spot. That is, if he doesn't have his head covered.

The heat was really taxing. I'd always considered myself somewhat of a lizard, but the temperatures stayed around 105 during the day, and that's hot no matter where you're from.

There were a lot of things I hadn't bargained for in Dubai. Let's face it; this was not a well-thought-out plan. I woke up Tuesday morning, five days after arriving, to the stark realization that there was no hope for finding him, and that I should just let go.

I put on shorts and a polo shirt and went downstairs for breakfast. I was glad to finally be in sync with the local time, albeit I was leaving in two days. I'd never been very good at adjusting to different time zones.

I ate breakfast and thought about my situation. I started to feel really lucky. The Marriott was just stunning, and the architecture in Dubai was incredible. I would never have thought of visiting there. The people were friendly, and they spoke English. I started thinking about how thankful I was to make the kind of money that would afford me that type of trip. There were lots of things to look forward to other than Simon. Maybe the sunshine snapped me out of my depression. Or maybe I was finally ready to let go and move on.

I sat down at a table just off the lobby after picking up a brochure from the concierge desk about desert tours. It looked just like the movies. All sand and nothing else. My mind began to wander as I started playing the trivia game in my head. Movies set in sandy deserts...Obvious answers: Sahara, Three Kings, Lawrence of Arabia, The Mummy, Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome. I couldn't think of the name of that really bad movie with Dustin Hoffman that was set in the desert.

Oh, well. The question really was...should I go to the rooftop pool and work on my tan or should I sign up for one of these desert safaris? I noticed the departure times and that made up my mind -- for that day, anyway. The safari includes breakfast, and departed over an hour ago. I guess I'll go to the pool.

Still...how much is this safari if I want to do it tomorrow? I flipped over the brochure. There was a phone number but no pricing that I could see. I noticed a pair of feet standing with the toes facing me out of the corner of my eye. I turned to look up and froze. It was Simon.

I don't know if it is physically possible for your heart to skip a beat, or two, or three, but mine sure felt like it did.

"Hi!" I managed to choke out.

"What are you doing here?" Simon asked in a barely audible voice.

"Uh...vacationing?"

Now we can all agree that coming to Dubai was poorly planned from the start, but you would have thought that I played this scene out in my head at least once, right?! Wrong!

Simon looked around the room frantically, from left to right, scanning the lobby. My heart sank, as I knew there could be only one reason for his behavior. He is looking for his girlfriend, lover, fiancé, whatever.

Suddenly I felt very ill. I wished I hadn't seen him, and that I was invisible. I mean, what kind of ugly trick is this to play on me. I just made up my mind to move on. It really isn't fair to make me upset all over again, is it?!

"Are you alone?" He asked.

I nodded weakly. I wasn't sure how to form words anymore.

Once again, he looked around the room and back at the reservation counter.

"Can you wait here for just a second? Don't...don't go anywhere."

He held out his hand like someone training a dog to stay. Then he darted off toward the front desk.

I consciously told myself to breath, but that didn't help my brain. I was in a fog, and so completely shocked at seeing him. He looked older. He was quite a bit thinner, I noticed. How am I going to explain that I came here to see him without sounding like a stalker? I guess I hadn't thought through that part of the plan. The fog in my brain was lifting to complete panic. A little voice in my brain started yelling, RUN!

Simon returned and I was still frozen in place. I probably hadn't moved a muscle in his absence. He was a little more composed, and not looking around frantically.

He grabbed my hand and yanked me up from the chair.

"Come with me."

We darted out of the Marriott front doors and into a waiting car on the curb. For a moment I thought we might be running from someone or something.

Simon jumped into the driver seat and took off so fast that the force sat me back into my seat. There were no seat belt safety checks, or opening the door for me, or anything.

I had to brace myself between the armrest and middle console to keep from falling into him at the turns. He was driving like a maniac and not saying a word. It never even occurred to me to be frightened. I think it was at that moment that I realized I would follow this guy into hell if he led me there. I trusted him that much.

He pulled up to an apartment building and parked the tiny car. We both got out at the same time. I guess part of me was happy to be getting off that amusement park ride.

But I was at a loss as to where to go next. Simon ran around the vehicle and grabbed my hand. He nearly dragged me up to a door and up a flight of stairs to an apartment. He unlocked it with a key. I held my breath as we walked through the doorway.

Inside the living room were a bunch of boxes, taped up and ready to be shipped, it seemed. My eyes darted about the room looking for evidence of another resident -- a female resident. There wasn't much to scan. All boxes, and hardly anything else.

The place felt a little familiar somehow, but I knew I'd never been there before. It was a funny feeling, but one that left my mind as quickly as it came, because Simon threw his arms around me and started kissing my cheeks frantically.

"I can't believe you're here! How did you find me?"

"I didn't find you. You found me."

Simon took my face into his hands and kissed me very gently on the lips. He lingered there with his eyes closed for several seconds, and I couldn't take the emotional rush I was feeling. Tears started rolling down my cheeks and my fingernails dug into his biceps as he held my face.

I would have liked to have had some composure, but there would be none of that for me. I can't hold back now.

"I just had to come and tell you that I love you. You need to know that I've loved you from the first week I met you, and I've never stopped loving you."

I bit my lip to try to slow down the tears running down my face. I had just traveled 7,000 miles to pour out my soul to this man, and this was the real moment of truth. I had played this out a million times in my head in the previous 9 months. Maybe not in recent weeks, but lots of times before. I suddenly realized, however, that I had just played my ace without even checking what he might have in his hand.

Simon looked in my eyes and then earnestly studied my face for what seemed like a very long time. I'm absolutely certain he saw terror in my face as I was waiting for a reply.

He pulled me into his arms and held me tight against him.

"I didn't know for sure. I mean, I've been so afraid that you had moved on by now."

I shook my head against his chest.

Simon pulled away and led me into the bedroom. The bed had sheets still on it, but there was little in his closet -- a couple of shirts hanging up and one pair of khakis.

He started kissing me again, more passionately this time. We fell back onto the bed but he didn't lose focus for a second. He continued as if nothing had happened. I could feel the warm sensation coming over me. I vaguely recalled what it was. My body was physiologically reacting to my emotions.

Simon lifted my polo shirt over my head. I was wearing a bra, which was rare for me in our days together. He didn't have much trouble getting through the ever-sophisticated locking mechanisms of the brazier. My breasts were free from the contraption in seconds.

He immediately removed his own shirt so that our bare chests were touching one another. We continued to kiss for quite awhile. Simon would stop to look at my face as if he were checking to see that it was still me. I didn't even try to think. My mind was blank as I just focused on the feeling of his lips, his skin, his chest hair...his erection through his jeans, poking up against my shorts.

He started kissing the left side of my neck, and left shoulder. His kisses trailed down my upper arm to my wrist and hand. It was as if he was becoming reacquainted with every inch of my body, and was in no hurry to get it done. I, on the other hand, was becoming a little impatient, as a new sense of urgency was beginning to build in the lower regions of my torso.

He moved back up to my protruding nipples and I let go a moan when he wrapped his warm mouth around one, and then the other hard nub. I arched my back and spread my legs even further apart, drawing my knees up toward my sides.

Simon took the hint and unfastened my shorts, pulling them, and my panties down, forcing me to straighten my legs so he could slide them completely off. He placed his hands on my inner thighs and spread them wide apart. The warmth of his mouth on my pussy was shocking. He didn't pause to look or take a breath. He simply dived in by parting my outer lips with his tongue. I knew that I was already very wet and aroused. It started when I first made eye contact with him back at the hotel.

He sought out my clit right away, vigorously flicking it with his tongue. I wanted to savor the moment and build slowly to orgasm, but I was already too far along. I arched my back and shuddered in climactic pleasure. It took him about 3 minutes to get me there...maybe less.

Simon stood up while I was still shuddering in after-shock. I vaguely recalled that there was something I needed to remember to tell him, but I couldn't think of it, or I didn't want to.

He pulled off his jeans and slowly slid into my quivering vagina. I gasped for air. He felt enormous inside me. I could feel the walls strain to enlarge with his thrusts. Each thrust became easier and the slight discomfort made way to absolute pleasure. I lost all rational thought and began to feel an animal-like lust building again inside me. I was well on my way to my second orgasm.

I felt him come inside me, even before he let go his signature moan. I could feel his pulsating cock and the sensation was terrific. I couldn't remember feeling that before. Maybe I am just a lot smaller now, than I was when we were having sex all the time. The pulsation was so raw, that it sent me over the edge with him. I wrapped my legs around him and locked my ankles. I wanted him to stay inside me.

Then I began to cry again. The intensity of my emotions just overcame me. The force of my cries pushed him out of me, and I just laid there holding onto him. This has to be a dream and I don't want to wake up from it. I just knew that the next thing out of his mouth was going to be something about how he had an entire family in Dubai, or something like that. I know it wasn't very rational but I watch a lot of movies.

"Don't cry, baby. We're together now. It's all going to be okay."

Simon stroked my hair lovingly and kissed my tears, wiping the excess wetness onto his own cheek by brushing his face by mine. It finally started to become reality for me. I looked around the bed and around the room and tried to make sense of the scene. Is this even his apartment? Did he just move here? As reality started coming back, so did my memory. I suddenly remembered what I needed to say to him, but it was too late.

"Oh, no!" My eyes widened as I looked into his eyes. "I've made a terrible mistake, Simon."

"What? What is it?!"

"I'm not on the pill. I mean, I forgot to bring them and I should have started taking them yesterday."

I struggled to get up to get to the bathroom. Somehow I thought if I just let everything drain out, we might be okay.

Simon pinned me back down. He started grinning, and then chuckling out loud.

"Where are you going?"

I just relaxed and said, "I don't know."

He's right. There isn't anything I can do about it now.

Simon leaned in and started kissing my neck and cheek. His hands were pinning my wrists down above my head. He slid his body over mine and parted my thighs with his knees. He then positioned the head of his cock right at the opening of my dripping wet pussy. He wasn't completely hard, but hard enough to penetrate.

"Simon, did you hear me? I'm not protected. I could get pregnant."

"We could get pregnant, Jess." With that he slid inside me. He whispered in my ear, "We could have a baby."

I wasn't sure how to process his words, and it became more difficult to do, as my concentration was completely sucked away from me with every stroke. Simon came inside me a second time and stayed there, as if he was daring one of his little swimmers to do the job.

He started talking first this time.

"I have thought about you every day. I was so stupid to leave you. I should have found a way to work it out so we could be together. I am so, so sorry, Jess. Can you ever forgive me?"

I knew the question was more rhetorical but I nodded my head anyway. Tears were welling up in my eyes again, and I couldn't speak.

Then he said the words I had dreamt of hearing a thousand times in my most cherished fantasies.

"I love you more than you'll ever know."

I couldn't stop the tears from rolling back onto the bed. My body began to tremble. If this is a dream, it is truly a cruel one because it feels so real. There would be no way for me to recover from it.

Simon had grown soft inside me and he pulled out the rest of the way to lie on the bed beside me.

"Do you think you can stop crying long enough for us to have a real conversation?"

I started laughing, nodding my head, and wiping my tears from the sides of my head where they had traveled to the bed. I took a deep breath and propped myself up on one elbow to face him.

"I can't even imagine the kind of courage it took for you to come here. How did you manage it?"

"I don't know. It was all done in haste; I had no time to think about it. If I had even thought about it for a day, or researched Dubai on the internet, there is no way I would have come. This place is huge, and amazing, and hot."

Simon laughed. "It isn't even bad, yet. Wait until July. When is your flight back?"

"Thursday, around noon. I've been here since last Thursday. I had given up on finding you when you appeared in the lobby. What were you doing at the Marriott?"

"I was supposed to be picking up my replacement to take him to the office, but I was really late. He already caught a cab, according to the desk. It was a complete fluke that I walked in and saw you. I thought I was suffering from heat stroke or something."