Phone Call

Nobody under eighteen. No sex in this short story, just a bit of a final confrontation between husband and wife. It's only a story. I tried, but I couldn't get down to 750 words.

Phone Call

My soon-to-be ex-wife came down the stairs in a brand new sexy dress. Too bad it wasn't for me. Her paramour was the intended recipient of all her love and affection this weekend.

"You look gorgeous Sam, simply ravishing. I'm just sorry it's not for me. I'm sure Mitchell will be appreciative. Well you have yourself a lovely weekend."

"Aren't you going to try to stop me? Don't you even want to know why I'm all dressed up and going out the door? Don't you care about your wife at all Glenn?" She hissed at me. Her hypocracy seemed to know no bounds.

Silly girl. I just got the final report from the investigator that cost me three grand. Yikes! Well it came out of our vacation fund, so my darling loving wife paid half that bill to investigate herself! Oh yeah, there's a bit of irony there. But I was up to speed on her fun little extra-marital adventures for the most part. She's been a busy little beaver.

"I have a wife? Who would that be? You and I have not had relations or intimacy in six whole months. I did try, with vacations, weekend getaways, dinners, and all kinds of fun stuff. I have really tried my best to get back to a loving marriage. I got every excuse imaginable for your non participation. Plus you keep telling me about some fantastic promotion you're in line for. Thus, all the long workdays. Well I guess fuckin your boss counts as work if you're selling sex. I guess that's your new promotion, to company whore? Got lots of crystal clear pictures of you and Mitch doing the nasty, plus plenty of videos for the divorce.

"So to answer your question, no Samantha, I don't want to stop you. I don't want you to do this, but hey, you're going anyway right? I want to take your picture. Here Sam, hold this." I handed her a big envelope with her name on it in black marker. I took a picture of her holding her packet. I took three shots for the lawyer. My idiot wife even smiled for the camera. She's dumber than a box of rocks.

"You have been served. Get a lawyer, check out the agreement and sign it. Or don't, whatever. If you don't sign it or respond to my lawyer, then all the photos and videos will be shown in open court. If you sign what's in your hand, that's filed under irreconcilable differences and that is a 50/50 split. The pack that says 'Marital Infidelity' gives me an 80/20 division if you push me into it. Your choice. I do want the microwave since I don't cook too much. Plus the exercise equipment, since you never have used any of it. Almost every bit of my stuff is moved already. My tools and man-cave stuff is going this weekend. There is one more thing. The rings. Here's mine." I held out my wedding band for her. I waited while she took off her rings. She handed both to me. I gave her back her engagement ring.

"I gave you that one. Sell it, pawn it, shove it up your ass for all I care. It cost a bunch of money originally.

The wedding ring was my grandmother's. I'm sure our son's bride will love it if he chooses to get married. One more thing, I need you to sign a waiver for me." I explained.

"Really? A waiver? Why?"She asked.

"Because technically I am still your husband until the divorce is final. You are going to be in a gangbang this weekend and you won't tell me where, plus you are going against my will. You are on your own this weekend. I will be unable and unavailable to save you or take care of you in the event things go sideways. This relieves me of any responsibility for any injuries or death that happens to you in connection with your sexcapades this weekend. It just states that I have advised you against this party, and I will not be held accountable for your actions. Don't bother calling me, I will not pick up. I sincerely hope you change your mind before trying to fuck fifteen guys. You may contract a serious STD. Hell, you might wind up pregnant and not know which of these guys to thank." I told her quite honestly that her fun time was not without risks. I wash my hands of her stupidity.

"This will be our last time to talk. Once you walk out that door, all further communications will be via the lawyers. Thanks for the lovely

children. Thanks for most of the marriage, the last two years of shit notwithstanding. The kids are both at your parents house. I have spoken to them already, they are aware of this wonderful weekend of yours, and have a general idea of what you have been up to. I didn't give them or your parents any photos, as I didn't want to hurt any of them, not even your batshit crazy mother." I explained to her. There was a honk in the driveway. "Sign there and there. Here's your copy. You should get going. Your new man is waiting for you. Good luck to you. Do not call me. EVER!"

"You told the children?" she asked me.

"They are seventeen and eighteen years old. THEY TOLD ME ABOUT YOUR CHEATING, not the other way around. Good luck with them too!"

"Goodbye Glenn. I... I still love you," she whispered. Why? What kind of love is that? Thanks but no thanks. I thought it, but didn't say it, as I just wanted this to be done.

"Goodbye Samantha. Take care." She wanted a goodbye kiss..My phone chirped. I pulled away to avoid the kiss. I answered my phone.

"Hello, Glenn here."

"She's just leaving... Yeah, some guy is picking her up... No, I am not jokin'. She is taking on fifteen guys... Her new man set it up," I told her truthfully. "I told her not to go. I asked her to sign a waiver and I specifically told her I didn't want her to do this stupid and dangerous thing, but she's determined. I filled in her sister Sheila in case something does happen. I have a very bad feeling about this crazy thing." I listened to my new girlfriend.

"Samantha doesn't give a rat's asshole about me. She hasn't touched me in six months... I assume she hates me... Well, it's not the way you treat the one you love... Yeah she's been fucking her boss for at least that long. She doesn't even look at me anymore. She is getting just what she wants, me gone... Listen, I don't want to talk about the bitch anymore. We are done except for the legalities. Let's discuss the trip. Got your passport?...I have the tickets and the reservations. I am packed up and ready to go...Yes, I am very excited." I had not heard Sam slam the front door yet. I wonder if she is eavesdropping? No matter. I was gone within the next ten minutes when my cab showed up. Gone as in permanently gone.

"Well, we will be enjoying blue water and white sand this lovely weekend ... Your sister wants to come with us? Why for goodness sake?... WHAT? You are kidding me right?... She said that? And you are going to let her

join in on our vacation? You dirty, dirty girl you... No, that's probably the nicest birthday gift anyone ever gave me...Say that again...I love you too. What's that? No way! Come on! Your mother? Come on, stop pulling my leg! Seriously, your sexy mom wants to ball me? I had no idea... Well of course I like your mom's tits. Hell they are even bigger than your magnificent mambos... I know where you inherited those sexy mountains from. I didn't think your mom even liked me...She said that? What a lovely sexy woman. She's ok with your sister and you together as well?

Sweet Gees, I'm gonna pack a few blue pills for this weekend. Looks like I'm not going to get much rest!" I giggled. This was going to be a fun weekend for me. I had no idea her sister and mother thought I was sexy.

Damn nice birthday gift for a man hurt in divorce.

"I thought your mother had a boyfriend. She hasn't dated since your dad-... I'm so sorry... I know you loved him... Well of course we will name our son after him. So all three of you this weekend? I won't be able to walk on Monday. Yes my darling, my cab is almost here. I will see you soon. Kiss-kiss. Bye-bye Honey" I ended the call.

"Who was that?" My ex-wife jumped into my face ninja style. All of sudden SHE'S JEALOUS?! Are you kidding me? Why for God's sake? Our marriage is done and flushed down the toilet, and now you care?

I walked around the angry woman.

"Your replacement. She is planning a very nice birthday party for me. I guess you forgot."

"I am sorry, I did forget! Are you really going to bang all three of those sluts?" She was extremely jealous all of a sudden. Why?

"That's none of your concern. The divorce will be a very nice birthday present."

"So this is it? No way back? We are done?" She is just figuring this out NOW? After all the shit she pulled she thought I would let her get away with that bad behavior? What an idiot.

"Your boss is pacing out there. Better get a move on. I got you a going away gift. Here." I handed her a big bottle of lube for her asshole. She's gonna need it. She just looked at it with a touch of sadness in her eyes. She didn't even thank me as I picked up my bag and walked out of her life for good. Some people aren't very grateful.