All Comments on 'Pieces'

Good story, enjoyed it. I like the little switch with the cars. Don’t think I could be that friendly with a cheating wife who left me with an STD, but it’s your story.

Ann got what she deserved. She earned her divorce when she couldn't keep her legs together. She got more than she deserved in the divorce. So move on with your life and don't get married again. Lesson learned. As for John, if family is that important, find and marry a woman with a big, loving family that doesn't cheat and loves him. You turned a standard BTB story into the Disney "happily ever after" movie. BAH!

What the hell do you want a good editor for. Well written and a damn good short story

It would've been a great story, except for him giving her practically everything in the divorce. Why the hell would he do that? He basically rewarded her for giving him a STD, breaking his heart, and ruining their marriage.

It was bad enough that he just gave her the house, but then we find out that he didn't even destroy her car. That was the only justification for the lopsided settlement!

I thought it was telling that Ann never raised any objections to screwing him over financially. If she had even a shred of decency, she would've insisted that he get half the money for the house; something they'd both saved for their entire lives. Instead, she kept it all... what a selfish bitch.

Ann didn't deserve a happy ending.

*********

As Ann cruised down the highway, she sang along to the radio, enjoying the wind blowing in her hair. She'd started an affair with a married guy at her work and couldn't wait to get to the motel for another illicit rendezvous. Ann was so distracted, she didn't react in time when the 16 wheeler pulled out into her lane without warning.

The funeral was closed casket... Ann's body as mangled as the twisted pile of red metal her beloved Miata had been reduced to. Her parents approached John and Maria after the funeral service, the in-laws embracing as they shared their grief.

Ann's father looked John in the eye, then said quietly, "Ann didn't leave a will... so we're going to give everything to you and your family. What my daughter did to you was awful... and I never felt right about her getting all your money in the divorce."

John and Maria exchanged a startled glance, then thanked Ann's parents for their generosity. They were planning on having a big family together, so John getting his money back would help with the college funds.

And the karmic balance is restored...

while i appreciate good reconciliation/redemption story, this is not one of them. there’s a point where you say are kidding me?! she cheated (during the time she at risk of pregnancy), gave the husband std and still gave more than half?

sorry but this story is to forced, to much deus ex. you pretty much wrote a spineless man just to force this mushy “forgiveness” moving on story.

Some women aren't meant to be mothers

And, obviously, Ann is one of those ladies.

She took the coward's way out of her relationship, hurting everybody she supposedly cares about... simply because she didn't want kids.

Kinda sad, really. But John is way better off for it - imagine if they had ended up pregnant... Nothing good would have come out of that.

Probably would have gave this one full mark... if it wasn't for that idiotic LW trope of the cuckolded husband giving away most of the marital assets to the cheating wife. Sorry, but you give me a fucking STD? One way or another, YOU'RE GOING TO PAY. But John proudly showed his certified SIMP card by giving her more money than she deserved and by not even destroying her precious car... No wonder she thought she could cheat on this spineless moron.

But hey - he's living the life he was meant to live... and the ex is still missing me... so 'guess it's a win? It somehow doesn't feel fair, overall, is what I'm saying.

It was OK, though. And OK, in this category, is always welcome.

That worked well. A nicely told story. Mary was a good touch.

How many times? Same old retold story.

John was much nicer than I would have been.

Excellent! Well explored characters and situation, yet concise. 5*

Interesting read. There seems to be a lot of anger in most of the stories in this category. This was much different almost like it was meant to be. Too mellow.

. . . the story is currently scoring only 3.82. I’m guessing that there will be comments that John was a cuck because he apparently knew about the affair for two months before he took action, hoping Ann would fess up and quit the affair. And he divorced her, but didn’t burn her or beat the shit out of David.

Me? I see that as realistic.

And a great example of not needing too much back-story and "padding" as others call it.

Nice, actually fairly clean. Very first sentence, "driving back from their parent's house." It should be parents'.

Use more contractions in dialog. Say it out loud, see which sounds more natural. e.x. He looked out the window and said, "It is raining." vs "It's raining."

Well done - probably your best to date. Didn't see any glaring errors, so self-editing went well...

If only real life ended with everyone getting healed.

One of the most basic rules in writing is, "A new paragraph is started when another person speaks." LEARN IT! You don't have two people speaking in the same paragraph. I am not a grammar nazi, but every second grader knows this. I know you've been told this before, so 1 star for being willing to learn.

5* Simple. Straight forward. Realistic. No Btb. No recon. That's unusual. Write on!

Realistic and emotionally mature adults-a real rarity around here.

Ann didn't lose love....she threw it away like it was worthless and inconsequential to her. She only cared when she realized she was caught. Its amazing how most women think that if their spouse doesn't know they are being harmed and humiliated that their behavior is okay. It actually makes it so much worse because their spouse has no choices and is living a lie while their life is being drained and stolen by the person who allegedly loves them. You can replace almost everything you lose from a fail marriage except the time, choices and possibilities of might have been for the innocent spouse. Ann is a repugnant cunt.

Couldn't agree more and love his ending!

Awful fragile husband but otherwise an okay story. Doubt that would ever happen in the real world.

So glad the whore recovered from being a stupid whore. At least now she is a happy cheating slut

Just because there may not be a lot of men out there like John doesn’t mean there aren’t any. The strongest man isn’t the one who exacts maximum revenge. He is the one who controls his rage and pain, instead maintaining his integrity and principles. I appreciate his stunt with the car and rings, but also his generosity and civil manner. He could inflict no greater lingering pain than to redirect his love and respect to a new, happy life. 5*

Damn Good Read!

I really wanted to like this story.

Decent editing, good writing, good plot and all the pieces seem to tie together.

Still, I came away with no emotional tie in at all. The better stories seem to pull at some emotional string that makes the story more fullfilling. This tale did not have that.

Call it “emotionally dull”.

Well written, calm, and not in the usual way for LW.

I was hoping for a reconciliation of the type that goes, "Two years after the divorce I ran into my ex and..." Time heals wounds. However, this was destined to end this way and it's better for it. I liked both aspects of crushing the car - crushing it and not crushing it. He was a very good husband.

Insightful and laser focused. Congratulations. One of the more honest and piquant observations about one of the causes of adultery.

Ann subconsciously no longer valued their marriage and family goals, but she lacked the courage and the character to end it with honesty and integrity. It appears her husband would have tried to work with her fears and concerns, but eventually he would have asked for a divorce so he could seek to create the family he wanted. Ann short circuited all that drama and emotion and simply poisoned the marriage to death. The arc of the story was logical and believable. Good work.

The whole STD component does beg some clarification and examination. When did her husband discover that he was infected? Was it getting infected that alerted him to Ann's adultery? We understand that the husband learned of Ann's cheating months before he acted. It is very curious if he allowed Ann to suffer her STD in ignorance since a woman can become sterile if certain STD's are not treated soon enough. Was that part of his plan? The fact that Ann declined to use protection, because it doesn't feel as good, indicates the adultery was not just psychological, but also contained a component of lust and very stupid selfishness. The pill doesn't always work.

As cruelly as it was done, Ann released him from what had become a moribund marriage. The husband and the new wife will feel a gratitude and pity toward Ann that she didn't end the marriage in a more respectful and responsible way. Ann's future is only slightly of interest. She cared so little for her own integrity, and exhibited such pitiful mental dysfunction, that her eventual cure and recovery is hoped for, but not worth worrying about. Lets' hope she is a more successful Aunt than she was a wife.

Thanks for the effort.

Or a literary piece of work where the story gets lost? Come on, now this was a great story. So what the grammar and puctuation aren't correct. Are any of us perfect in our writing/talking? Nope and as far as I am concerned the story is what matters most. Two people talking in same paragraph...do you read books? I do and plenty of times two people talk in the same paragraph.

Anon- Grammar Nazi,

Please point all of us to your well crafted stories.

MFH

Nice job keeping it concise and straight-forward. I enjoyed it greatly.

MFH

So Ann gets busted cheating, sheds a few tears in front of third parties and all is forgiven. Even to the point where she physically assaults her lover in public for no reason and everyone just implicitly says "you go girl". I call bullshit. They work at law firms and supposedly know the law, she would have been charged and arrested. And a father in law isnt gonna cry.

you basically had her cheat on a saint.

@Anonymous Re: "Really?" - Where do you see "reconciliation/redemption?" Maybe there was a form of redemption with the whole sharing her family bit, but she paid the consequences of her infidelity, and that's enough for me.

/

@Anonymous Re: STD/fertility - Hey she doesn't want kids anyway, so if the STD makes her sterile, win/win!

Great story and I enjoyed it a lot. Thanks for the story and please keep writing.

"Buckeye Fan"

Well done. Keep up the good work.

Once again, we see the cheating wife rewarded by the Chump husband. She got strange dick, she manage to dodge motherhood, got the house and even got her precious little Miata but most of all she got her freedom to continue to be a selfish cunt.

i don't know what to do with this. You actually made a 2 page story too long. lol

What is so interesting about this story is that the comments and remarks made by the husband are exactly on point. She's having fears and uncertainty a doc being to mother so she cheats on her husband with a man she found disgusting for several months?

That can only be a massive rejection of him the marriage their future and having children with him.Very interesting story with powerful insight as to why a married woman would cheat to end a marriage

If nothing else it shows conclusively that there can be no reconciliation because her solution to deal with her fears about being a mother and children are so completely off the wall and bat shit crazy

nice perspective, very emotional, loved it. ty for the read

John looked at Ann and replied, "I know he wasn't the threat, you were the threat to our marriage. I am sorry I couldn't save us from you."

That ^ That right there is the true threat to any marriage with a cheating spouse. It so perfectly encapsulates and boils down the truth of betrayal. The truth is, she cheated to run away from a mostly irrational fear. She decided her marriage was worth less than a quickie for the sake of feeling a cheap thrill to distract her from a tiny bit of stress. We'll never know. She never talked it out with him. Maybe he'd have been totally cool not having kids. Doesn't matter now. She'll never even be a sister really. Her parents will still be his family though. At best, she'll become a doting aunt that he mostly tolerates.

Good, well written story. Not as flashy as some, but quite engrossing.

Really enjoyed how this turned out. The ex-wife grows and deals with her betrayal; the new wife accepts her husband's need for the relationship with the ex's parents; the husband deals with the infidelity in a mature way. Lots of grown-ups here - after the wife's initial screw-up.

We're often criticized in our own stories for writing characters with little emotion. Many of the characters in this story seem to share those same traits; nobody went off the deep end. But, we know a great deal of friends and acquaintances who are emotionally reserved, and therefore, these people seem real to us.

Great job - 5 stars.

I thought he let her keep almost all of the money that they should have split 50/50 because he had trashed Mary, but then he didn't trash Mary.

So why leave her practically all the money? To be a fool for a chick who betrayed him no good reason at all and gave him an STD in the process? To show how grateful he was that it wasn't HIV, which it could have been for all she cared at the time? I know he was supposed to be this Good Guy Greg, but that was a bit much. He was still taking the high road without being a total sucker and leaving her almost all of the money AND the house. That was silly, in my opinion.

I would had never talked to her after the STDs. *****

I don’t know anyone who so meekly allows themselves to be victimized like this guy who isn’t a complete milksop. Seemed really unrealistic.

Not only does she cheat on hubby, but she gives hubby STDs. And Hubby treats her with love and respect? Weird story.

Short enough but the emotion was still there. No, it is not a BTB. but he knew it is time for a new beginning.

Too much! FTDS etc where are you!

I think john was in love alone, too bad he had to find out the hard way...anyway great story (there's no way you can cheat on someone you love)

Fine story. Five Stars.

Yes, he was generous in leaving. Yet he took the most important thing: himself and his self respect. Got a fresh start and wonderful new life.

Besides, the financial split is not crazy lopsided considering he a got a big promotion, avoided marriage counseling, and that 12 year old Miata is not exactly an original 427 AC Cobra in terms of value.

Great story!

5

Finally a cheating wife story with a husband that kept his respectability. He didn't cry and beg her to come back to him, he didn't allow it to keep happening. He just picked up and moved on. That is one of the hardest lessons for anyone to learn whether male or female sometimes you just have to call it quits and move on with your life.

The majority of the married people cheat at some point unfortunately while still in love with there spouse. It’s a sad but true reality . I admire the couples who can get past it but don’t think I could especially in a situation where there are no children or they are older and moving on themselves. Sometimes people force it because the kids are young and time heals old wounds. So many cheat are never found out which makes a high % really even higher . I would also never be able to be around my ex , her family yes but her with another spouse would be hard especially in a case like this story .

I could NEVER imagine a world where I could share my family. I can never imagine a world where I would do something as dastardly as cheat or bring the family name into disrepute.

I guess it all comes in the way you got raised (or reared if you are that type). Most of society is now of the free-of-religion type. I think there is a place for religion in guiding us along the path of existence. The Bible did not go out of "style" until we believed we were smarter than the folks that came before us. It comes down to a lack of gratefulness and responsibility. Nothing is ever our fault. We take no lesson from the life we live and are focused on "me me me".

Times will change or we as a civilization will lose out. We will be our own extinguisher.

I can be available for editing BTW

Smokepole

I have an ex-wife. She cheated, left me for another. It lasted a couple months before blowing up. I never once considered reconciliation or being her "brother". We had a son, so we've interacted fairly regularly ever since. He's grown and married now. We divorced when he was 3. I still don't trust her. Maybe that's shame on me or maybe it's being prudent. In either case, these people in this fictional story are more forgiving than I can even imagine. That doesn't take away from a well-told tale though. Hopefully, there are people like this. 5*

Well. That was. Nice!

Kept thinking it was time for the 6 Brady Bunch kids to come down the stairs singing. No idea why, the idea just kept popping in in my head.

Maybe ask saddletramp1956 for some LW ideas.

The story was OK, but not great. Too many typical motifs and nothing really unique.

I would not have been so kind if I was John, as there was no excuse for wife's conduct -- she was a pure cheating slut and nothing more, and deserved nothing.

I did not like this writing, as everything seemed to be a series of declarative statements. The author hopefully can work on smoothing the writing.

You write some realistic stories

And you put together some bullshit premise to get there. Yeah, I see John finding out and shit canning the cheating slut but I don't think even a good guys is so generous to someone who shit all over him. And yeah, that would have been Mary the Miata in the cube.

I liked it. There were some really insightful elements:

- "... I know he wasn't the threat, you were the threat..."

- the role family and children played in helping him recover.

Open to constructive criticism? - warning I'm not an author. It was a bit mechanical in the storytelling. To be honest, I'm not certain why it felt mechanical ... kind of like a diner (rather than a chef) struggling to give precise critique regarding a dish or meal. I think it was hard to really get to know any of the characters. Ann was focused on her aberrational behavior and a fear of change. John and Joan were more 'side' characters. So there was a lack of depth of feeling through the eyes of someone we knew, cared about, and related to.

Thanks for a good story.

It really is exceptionally good. The characters are nonstandard and unusually adult (well, she did some painful growing up). You just can't always fix what you break.

3 for you. Only constructive criticism - work on fleshing out the inner feelings of the main characters. Other than that it was a good story.

But I also believe that the husband would have just divided everything down the middle, with no special consideration for the cheating wife. I was glad to see the other cheating man get his just rewards. I think a lot more effort needs to be placed on the subject of STD's. Simply - NO condom - NO sex - end of discussion.

Only 3 stars because cheaters don't deserve a happy ending. It lets them off the hook for their actions.

Good story but way to short. Not enough time to really develop the emotions involved.

Really enjoyed this story. It was simple in story but strong in emotion and I thought that it had good character development even for so short of a story. Not sure I really buy the reasoning for Ann's affair, but it worked in the story and wasn't a detractor. These stories make me sad, when two people who should have and would have been happy forever get derailed by the selfish and self-centered behavior of one of them.

Keep writing.

Nicely developed story but, while the ending was sweet, it lacked "passion". It almost seemed like this was the relationship that the "ex" wanted. Maybe it needs another ending. Is FTDS online today?

I will never understand WHY people have the audacity to "know" how an author should end his /her story. If you just can't enjoy a story as written, feel free to write your own! Thank you for your story. 5 stars.

yuch

Not bad no one died but the good guy sort of won.

I just don’t like Hallmark endings. Reconciliation endings as such are fine, but this one you could use as the sweetener in Diet Mountain Dew

I will post that one as anonymous sorry, you'll understand why.

A pretty good story, I am surprised some people saw it totally differently. I gave it a four because I would have liked to read more about his emotions, her family and her life after that. I also don't believe she did not feel crushing guilt when she did it and pick up on his hints.

Cheating leaves scars. Whatever the outcome, it changes you. A friend of mine separated when his wife fell in love with another man and left him for her lover. The discovery that she had an affair before they split nearly destroyed him. I work with his new wife and I can see that his selection criteria changed after that trauma. She his nice and sweet and I believe she would never ever hurt him.

As for me, decades ago I took a long post in southeast asia when I was in my twenties and could not keep it in my pants. My marriage survived my adultery (I confessed upon my return and I am 100% sure she did not play around) and we never ever discussed it after that. It has been many years, we had kids and she seems totally over it but I am still ashamed of breaking my vows, probably until the day I die.

I think the male character made a huge mistake not confronting her early. I see many times "once a cheater always a cheater" in LIT but people are not perfect and it is possible to rebound from a mistake.

I like this story. Not a BTB, but also not a RAAC. seems like the characters have moved on.

Hurried and lacking depth. Could have been so much better. Have read 750 word stories with more depth and development. You can write better than this, I've read your,"I Understand". 3*s.

Not happening

She cheated and what? Long time cheating. Flirting carried slightly more is cheating. Lunches etc time spent with other when should be with spouse and family CHEATING

I appreciate a story that treats the cheating wife as a human being, and not some one-dimensional bitch. I also appreciate that the narrative hasn't left her a broken shambles, but instead she's on her way to healing her self-inflicted wounds.

-

Another fresh take on some tired LW themes. Well done.

A completely original take on the cheating spouse. Favorited.

On second read, that is a great story.

I liked the way John explained the way she destroyed their marriage. Cleaning up Mary instead of destroying her was a nice touch. Very good story. Thanks.

The author shouldn't have let Ann off the hook. Her cheating should haunt her forever.

Good story. Ann got off WAY too easy. He shouldn't have told her about the STD...

Good story other than the ex-wife got off too easily..

I HATE the cliche where the man gives the cheating whore the bulk of the assets. Please let this cliche DIE

Way to easy for slut.

All people involved are much to civilized. It's not the way it goes

What makes these comment writers think they know what is the right amount of punishment for a cheater, in every possible case? Who made them judge, jury, and executioner? This author wants his characters to recover and live well, despite a heinous act, and this is how s/he chose to do it. Who are we to say that's wrong?

3 stars even though the MC slam dunked the slutty, skanky, ex-wife.

She deserved a lot more butt kicking to the curb.

She also deserved just the Miata cube NOT the real one.

Such a very good story! The pain is palpable. Thank you for sharing this with us.

Hallmark Movie in writing. Given the issues with divorce I simply don't see John staying in touch with her family or telling her where he had gone. If you feel the need to move out of the area, keeping in touch with old wounds wouldn't be possible. And why would he be so generous in the divorce? Give her half and be done with it.

Good story, so damn sad

After three stories it's obvious we got another closet cucky who fantasizes and I'm willing to wager masturbates to cheating wife porn.

Pathetic beyond the pale....

Quite emotional but not very realistic. Well written, nicely paced, complete. As been said by others, as much a romantic fantasy than a LW cheating story. Would agree with others, he waited too long to pull the trigger. A little surprising that John recuperated from this debacle so rapidly.

Can't imagine staying close to the in-laws.

All in all I enjoyed it.

Good story. Started out as a cut and paste job, but ended up being thoughtful and different. Another good job

That was good. Very good. 5 stars.

What a great , nice guy.He even fell to the standard idiot lw author trope of giving away the house, the usual largest investment any person has. Of course these writer all copy from each other so why not copy another really stupid idea, and put it on paper. The rest was a stretch too, including the unequal asset division based on a not real car destruction. Awww, what a nice guy….

Good story. Husband tried but she kept on cheating. Whatbi don't get is why she cheated. Her rationale is ridiculous. She didn't even enjoy sex that much with asshole and didn't even like him. She appears to have some deep mental issues which is she die not communicate to her husband.

Actually, this makes no sense whatsoever... Ann loved her husband dearly, they had a great sex life, yet she decides to have and affair with a person she despised, was not that good in sex, and continued it for six months... all this because she was afraid of starting a family... she could have easily discussed this with her loving open husband and resolved her dilemma... this course she took of having a 6 month affair with someone she loathed does not ring true... there would have to be more to it to make it believable. 3-stars ⭐⭐⭐

I know people do irrational things, but usually, if you dig enough, that irrational decision turns out to be quite rational. But, this one, doesn't make a whole lot of sense, even when you dig pretty darn deep.

Agree with the comment from 3 months ago starting with "Actually this makes no sense whatsoever...". Well written but her behavior had no rational basis. And yes Ann was the threat to their marriage. Also the husband not confronting her immediately or soon thereafter post discovery is also nonsensical. What did he hope to gain? Remember he chastised her for not coming to him and communicating. Fine divorce her by why live with the knowledge for 2+ months? He loses all agency and just let's the damage keep piling up. Not realistic as if is incredibly dumb approach to take.