All Comments on 'Pier Pressure Ch. 02'

The writer seems to be about 10 years old or a grown up moron!

A pier is usually a structure at the seaside!

Garbage

Before I even start critiquing this story, you have labeled this chapter 1, so you KNOW there is more to come, so why the fucking FUCK did you stop at 939 words??????

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At the end of the second paragraph, it's Sunday, she has until her husband gets home on Tuesday to do what? Explain? Come up with a story? Then, in the next paragraph her husband is there?

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She never heard of the Morning After pill?

If you are going to write series add enough detail to hook the reader. By keeping us interested it makes a cliff hanger as you call it worth reading.

Unfortunately for me this was not worth the time it took to read it. That being said I would suggest merging two or three of what you believe are stories for your series into one and posting it. This would still allow you to have a series but give us readers a bigger and better picture of the story/series you are building.

To me you have a very good concept of the story line with great potential. I hope you develop it to where you want to take it. I think it will show that you have the ability to build good to great stories.

I know this was a long comment but I enjoy thinking about where you are taking this series. If I am going to give a *hit score I owe you a reason.

I can not write worth a crap but I do enjoy reading stories by those who can.

Thanks for taking the time to write.

Hi. You have to stay consistent on the Point of View. Obviously you are writing from the POV of Janey. So, while a change of POV can be managed carefully, you suddenly change to "He took her again without asking, while she was sleeping...". The POV of an abstract narrator commenting. It doesn't work.

While the basic premise of the story is interesting (that of a cheating slut who can't say "No" nor remain faithful to her husband) it would definitely help if actual two-way talk took place, instead of it just being in the head of Janey. Anyway, the more practice we all get will help improve things. keep writing. Cheers.

Nothing special here just another slut wife cheating multiple times on the man she "loves".

Not very emotional. She was just by the book and so blah. Jimmy wanted sex and she just like a robot went for it. Amazing either one got off.

At least it's coming to an end. Married slut cheats with a moron...really deep!

Barely long enough to fit the requirements for a story. Certainly not good enough. Try again - this was bad.

5 Stars

Loved it.

-26thNC Approved

No need for Quattro Stagioni, just bury the putrid cunt. Drivelo finito.

And keep it this way.

Captcha

That was a new depth of stupidity. No real story, a dude trying to write as a woman and very badly at that.

You're the usual gay man going the cuck route through the womans point of view and the while missed period thing> Yeah super fucking gay bitch.

Yes the hubby will get a chubby from a pregnant slut wife and happily raise the little shit while she goes back for more.

And nice try going with the usual cuck cliche of "I really love my husband, Bob, regardless of my weekend activities" ROFLMFAO, you really that dumb? Oh yeah, as a cuck you are. My bad, kid.

Yup, pure closeted homosexual crap as usual around here.

This asshole cant spell "Peer Pressure!" What an ass-bag and a dusch-hole!!!

I always enjoy a walk along the pier at the seaside, certainly more than this travesty of a story!

The biggest slap an author can get here, figuratively speaking, is when "26thNCuck" gives five stars. So every normal reader knows that it is crap!

The story has to have some mystery or intrigue in it to be a "cliffhanger". This story has neither. This is more like a bump in the road of a cheating wife destroying her marriage.

Was this supposed to be one of those 750 words tales??

1 star - to the curb

Divorce

Hhmmm. Uh Huh, Uh Huh. Yep, sure! Certainly. LP

Epilogue: Clearly this is a cliff hanger. Not a steep one, but a cliff nonetheless.

Look up the meaning of 'epilogue' that is not it, it also wasn't a cliff hanger, to have a cliff hanger you actually have to write a story that has a hell of a lot more than your miniscule 'chapters' have.

Oh you disappointed me with this one, I thought you nailed it in part 1 but this didn’t work so well

Rushed story, poor editing, and can't get character's name straight. Slow down and proofread.

Where is the pier? There is not a boat in sight. Could the author mean PEER pressure -- from friends?