All Comments on 'Planetfall Ch. 04'

I have really enjoyed this story. I do have one quibble, although I find your story well worth 5 stars. The quibble is that it is rather repetitive to read about Richards equipment over and over. You have done an excellent job of description, but the repetition does get tedious. More so because you have done such a good job of describing the characters and you have developed a plot line that is both facinating and full of promise for many more episodes.

This is a great series and I would love you to write more, can't wait for Chapter 5.

by far one of the best stories i have read, on any web site. i sincerly hope you concider writing more.

I'd like to hear about Richard fathering more children among many women of the planet.

great work would love to read more

Please continue the tale for many installments. I look forward to reading the entire saga.

Richard has much to teach the people of Elysia, and rebuilding the population will accelerate as more male children are born. Care will be required to spread the gene pool as far as possible to avoid the problems of inbreeding.

I think this is one of best.I have found this site and sadly my house is not as clean as i would like because i cant keep from reading all nite long.this story rates with the top of the class. RON from the USA

More more more please the best series I have found on this site. So keep writing would be willing to bounce ideas off of or to just let me know.

Wilde, It seems you have let Planetfall rest, which is sad because (I agree with others here) it is one of the best series on this site. Especially in this genre. It was my first, and favorite series, what brought me back. I also agree with the first commenter in his assessment of 'repetition'. It was the one drawback that I noted also. It would be great to see Planetfall continued.

This series is, by and far, one of the, for which it has not yet gained the title. It is a gem amongst the dung and will undoubtably be a Gemini Story, (A story that is well-written, invokes emotions not just for the obvious reason, and will gain prestige over time.) And believe me: it shall only get more and more popular. Very well done, sir.

I have to say that now is not the time to stop! There is so much more to be written now that he has been accepted. What about other survivors? What about his role in bringing new life to the people and modernity to the planet? What happened to the original men on the planet, why did they die off, will it affect him and his children?

Did Jane survive? Do we have three-somes? Four-somes? Unlimited-somes in the future? Other "alien" invasions that Richard and Sylvia need to counteract? Evil males to repel? Let's write!!! Does Richard enjoy the benefits of longevity? Become supreme ruler of the planet? His offspring? How do they contribute to development of the society? Does Elysia get a boost in scientific development? If so, does it complicate matters by going beyond the simple, pure technology present when Richard appeared? Do we get a visit from the "Goddess"?

Let's go!!

(Big sf fan.) Heck of a story. Reminds me a little of Poul Anderson's 'Virgin Planet'. Very well written and still erotic. Plus, very little need of editing. You put in just enough detail of the Doctor's surroundings and the Elysians' society and culture to make the story believable, while at the same time leaving questions that can easily lead to sequels that could be just as enjoyable. Well done.

I have to say that even though it has been 3 years since your last posting. I still have hopes that you will continue with this one. I would love to find out how many other people possibly survived of men and women. Then I would like to know what happened to his wife. If she has survived I hope that she and his two new wives will live happily ever after because she did want to start having children with him. If many of the other people from the ship survived then they can put their heads together and figure a way to save and fix the problems on the planet. That would make a great ending to the story.

one of the best stories I have read for a long time very well done

One of the finest literary efforts on this agust site

and very well written. Excellent character development and the imagery of the planet itself and it's culture was well thought and well put. This would lend itself to numerous sequels, as Richard's offspring spread out across the planet. I must say, I'm glad you didn't go in the opposite direction.... 'property of the goddess', kept in a temple to be bred like a bull to a herd of heifers. You leave just enough questions unanswered, as well... with only him as a point of reference, how do they name the boys? And will their future histories refer to him as the 'Divine Dick'?

As above..

One last paragraph about the probe finding a life pod would have been a good cliffhanger. ..

All the beautiful girls you could ask for, and it is the right thing to do! I love that they were in love; and the sex was primarily for procreation and to express their love. It wasn't a selfish act. The plot was fascinating and really held my interest. Stellar job, five stars!

It is our loss that he has. A fine series with great potential for many, many more chapters and branches.

If given a good editorial polishing, it would be fit for publication, (though it would need to be toned down a bit for public consumption).

One grammatical miscue lends itself to a great object lesson in how important correct grammar is to the meaning of a sentence.

Early in this chapter, (or the last), this was written: "The minutes past and they waited." Correctly written it would be: 'The minutes passed and they waited.' Obviously, it was intended to mean 'they' waited while time went by, and corrected, it does.

But, as it is written, it is actually quite comical, in a nerdy, incorrect grammar manner. Let me explain via a bit of technical gramatics: 'they' is a subject in the sentence, the action verb is 'waited', so the sentence tells us 'they waited'. That is not all to the story, we have compound subjects in this sentence, (multiple subjects). The other subject is 'minutes past'. This would be equivalent to saying something such as: 'the first 15 minutes of the previous hour' or 'a half hour this morning'.

Rather than meaning a period of time went by, as written, it really refers to an indeterminate period of time in the past. As such, it becomes the second subject to the verb, 'waited'.

So what the sentence means is 'an unknown period of time that has come and gone and some persons, together, cooled their heels.'

All for the want of 'sed' instead of 't'.

It's not about being obsessive about spelling, grammer or syntax; it's about accurate communication. Accurate communication that perseveres, over time.

Look what happened to the women on Elysia because they lost the ability to read what the early civilizations wrote in the archives. Well, that and some damn virus...

The grammar/spelling error I saw most frequently in the tale was the use of "it's" (with the apostrophe) where "its" (with no apostrophe) would have been correct. The apostrophe'd version is a contraction of "it is", And so is only used where the words "it is" would make sense (e.g: "It's a shame that...") and NOT to imply ownership (e.g: "The cat licked it's fur...").

Another that I noticed more than once was using "past" instead of "passed" (and vice-versa).

While not necessarily an error, there were MANY times when the use of the pronoun "she" rather than a character's name made it less than clear just which character was meant. An example of this problem from this chapter was (and I am paraphrasing from memory here: "Lyra looked at Phoebe and she looked at the ground") Which of them looked at the ground: Lyra or Phoebe? If it was Phoebe - and I think it was - then something like "Lyra looked at Phoebe and Phoebe looked at the ground" or "Lyra looked at Phoebe who then looked at the ground" would be clearer and the reader would not be forced to figure it out for themselves.

Again, I enjoyed reading the tale (and would gladly read any subsequent chapters), but found the frequent errors to be unfortunate.

Ha!

I saw what you did there....... ;)

Excellent story all around, good sci-fi and very very hot. Well done.

Just finished reading Planetfall, it is a good story. Would of given a 5 star but for the way you concluded this chapter. As it felt rushed! But I do hope you revisit this story, as you have the option of at least 1 or more lifeboat surving. Secondly how the population of Elysia take to an influx of knowledge provide by Richard & Slyvia. Also as human life-spans are extended on Elysia you could have them making contact with the Glaxactic community.

Just read this story for the first time and really liked it.

Thank you

Honestly, Planetfall is one of the best stories that I've read on this site. The sex, the setting, the story, the dialogue is all rather engrossing and immersive, which is very impressive given the absurdity of Jensen's situation.

If I had to write an ending to Planetfall, it would be a short epilogue set a few hundred years into the future where an elder is recounting to her younger audience how the god-like Richard Jensen seeded the women of Elysia and sired an entire civilization.

Inquiring minds would like to know... please.

Beautifully developed story!

Hoping somehow that it will have more chapters....

Recommend reading this saga highly!

i am so going to miss this story. i have read planetfall twice and this story could go on for 50 more chapters.

just completed 1st complete read of your story.

5 stars across the board.

more please

Good read but unfinished. What happened to his wife? Did she survive? (Or anyone else from his ship for that matter?) And if she did, how are things going to work out?