All Comments on 'Playing Chess with My Sister'

That was awesome, well done!

Liked your story. Quick, hot and believable.

"It's small, I'll be able to deep throat it." - completely wrecked the story for no reason. Lame ending.

Pretty hot.

Too much chess. Too many weird thoughts in the middle of things. The backhanded compliment on his size didn't help - he doesn't need to be enormous, but her comment felt cruel instead of appreciative. In the end, it felt like the sex was rushed and there wasn't enough connection. Thank you for your work and sharing it with us.

I liked it and would like to hear more of these two.

Good story. A couple of things might make it better. There were a lot of interjected thoughts that disrupted the flow sometimes. They help with understanding, until they don't. Then they are distracting. You might have drawn it out more; make it obvious that she was teasing him to distract him; touching herself in front of him. One piece of clothing at a time. I agree with @shadracht and the backhanded complement. Perhaps; "It's the perfect size. Not so large that I'll gag when I deep throat it."

Sweet story, but it seems to be the same old thing. Boy fucks sister, sister sucks brother, son fuck mother; Chris, I think you need to broaden your horizon. It just seems odd that you have managed to find so many adult siblings living together for no particular reason other than to have sex with each other. How about a cousin, or an aunt closer to the boy’s age than the mother (or father). Or how about the girl next door that the boy had known all his life. Variety is the spice of life. Mix it up a little. FYI – we have only written one incest story, and that was over 15 years ago. It is a brother-sister tale; however, it is a true romance. With a HEA (happy ever after) ending in the tradition of romantic fiction. It received very sweet comments, maybe you should try that if you want to stick to the full incest thing.

You leave no explanation, not even a hint, why his sister suddenly take their relation into the sexual domain.

I'm going to agree with the others. No explanation of why all of a sudden the sister wanted sex equals lazy writing.

She takes off her clothes in order to play better? Too easy. Maybe if they were playing strip poker or something.

3/5