Please Don't Eat the Apples

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And thus was how Adam and Eve got their asses kicked out of the Garden of Eden. As for the black man, the Lord instead of remaking him back as the serpent, made him keep his skin but instead banished him to an island where he was supposed to spend the rest of his life.

This island was called Africa.

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6 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
racist!!!!

this is very racist...

thedemonIxthedemonIxover 7 years ago
yup... Blame the black guy...

Racist. I'd give you no stars... Negative stars...

1. Get an editor

2. You misogynistic tool.

3. You give snake a bad reputation.

4. Saying Eve already fucked Adam 2x is an error in continuity.

5. You stupid racist.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
I've always wondered...

Where in the story of the Garden does it EVER say the tree was an APPLE tree??? And yet most of the screechers (sorry, I mean preachers...) I ever heard say Eve was tempted with an apple, even though that detail is not there, it was simply called the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, not "an apple". Oh, well...

Also, God and the first couple were naked together in the Garden and God didn't mind a bit, so where did the idea that they were punished for being naked come from, anyway...they were banished because they covered up the perfection God had created, not because they were naked. I guess our Puritan ancestors had a screw loose somewhere, why else would they ruin it for everyone? Naked is natural, clothes are only for keeping warm in winter, anything else is mere decoration and vanity (one of the "7 deadly sins"). It IS mentioned that they fashioned raiments for themselves out of fig leaves...FIG LEAVES? Have you ever felt a fig leaf? Talk about scratchy!...religion is dumb, dumb, dumb.

magicunicornmagicunicornover 14 years ago

Interesting. It sounds like you've heard of the beyonder theory of what happened in the Garden of Eden. Equating the serpent (devil) with the black race is an old tired trope. Not a bad read, just the same. I think you did a good job of trying to make it somewhat light-hearted but you seem to reveal a huge bias against black people and black males, in particular. I won't go an further than that.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
amusing

nice twist

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