Polysexuality Ch. 02

Probably the biggest current temptation to active polysexuality comes from the internet. Internet porn can be so interesting that it easily becomes a pursuit that eats up an hour or two a day, but who is interested in it? Some college campuses have reported that fifteen to forty percent of their bandwidth use is students looking at pornography. Both videos and internet porn can also introduce watchers to a wide range of practices they might otherwise not imagine.

It's quite possible that nearly all of the people who enjoy internet porn are polysexual, even though they might not know it. It's hard to understand why people who only want to have sex with their spouse would want to look at lots of other people having sex.

For millions of polysexuals, viewing internet porn provides an outlet that allows them to remain monosexual in practice. They may achieve this through watching or perhaps release pressure through masturbation. However, it seems likely that if people were never exposed to internet porn and the other sources, many polysexuals would find it easier to not think about their orientation and would be less likely to become active.

Those who join internet sex and swinger sites with personal ads, such as SwingLifeStyle and AdultFriendFinder, have taken the next step toward active polysexuality. Men may lose interest in other internet porn, but they may spend a couple hours a day reading ads and writing to women, hoping to meet them. Women may spend a couple hours a day answering the messages. Increasingly, both men and women are using web cams to masturbate or expose themselves online.

Many who join these sites may not even want to meet someone in person, but a great many do. This is an excellent way to make contact and become active. People don't need to go to bars or clubs or risk propositioning their colleagues. Men know that few woman on these sites will be offended by being propositioned—that's why they are there. Of course, most men on these sites never manage to find a woman willing to meet them, but they keep trying. Probably nearly all of the people on these sites are polysexuals, though there are some who are looking for only one partner who will be permanent, but very sexual. Even the large percentage that tries these sites but leaves discouraged is likely to be polysexual. Why would a monosexual want to sign up?

Summary: Orientation vs. Choice—Why It Matters

If polysexuality is indeed an orientation that makes it much more likely that polysexuals will have multiple partners, this may have an impact on society. People may begin trying to determine before marriage whether the person they hope to marry is polysexual. It may be that polysexuals will be happiest if they marry other polysexuals. Certainly monosexuals can avoid a lot of problems if they marry other monosexuals.

If polysexuality is an orientation, this may help men and women understand how it is that their spouses can desire other sexual partners, yet want to remain married. Thus, it could decrease divorce.

If polysexuality is an orientation, it may be that employers and governments may need to take this into account when they develop company policies and government laws. Non-fraternization policies in companies may be good in theory, but polysexuals may find it very difficult to follow the policies, and it may be that the penalties may need to be changed. A number of laws may need to take polysexual orientation into account, not least the laws regarding marriage and divorce. It may be that marital unfaithfulness should not be defined as taking another sexual partner but as falling in love with someone else to the exclusion of love for the spouse.

Polysexuality is not the same as polygamy, and accepting polysexuality as an orientation does not mean condoning polygamy (though to be fair, the general abhorrence of polygamy is a cultural artifact, mere custom, not required by nature or even by God—though I myself wouldn't want multiple wives). Accepting homosexuality as an orientation has opened the way to questions regarding gay marriage, partners sharing health insurance, having legal rights, inheriting property, holding property in common, and many more. These questions should not come up with polysexuality.

Accepting polysexuality as an orientation may make us more tolerant of the peccadilloes of the rich and famous. The tabloids will have less news to print. Congress will have to find another way to waste its time and our money than asking questions of politicians who have sex with multiple partners.

Also, if polysexuality is accepted as an orientation, people will have less reason to lie to spouses, children, and colleagues. Women will kiss husbands goodbye, say "I love you," and go off to spend a couple hours with some internet friend, then come home to a spouse who is not jealous and not threatened. Men will be able to explain that their orientation makes certain behavior more likely, but doesn't affect their love.

It seems that there is a great deal to gain from accepting polysexuality as an orientation. Doing so, however, will require major cultural changes, not least in the way we see marriage.