- Reviews & Essays
- Porn: the Pros & Cons
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Click hereIt amazes me how many people are anti-porn, whether they be on the feminist left or the religious right. As much as they disagree on other issues, the one common ground they have that I know of is the belief that porn is evil.
Well, I've got news for them. Porn is as old as humankind. It's been around ever since humans made paintings on caves. And it will stay around, come rain or shine, until Armageddon. The reasons for consuming porn vary from man to man, but I will outline the pros and cons that apply at least to my situation.
THE PROS:
1. Porn gives me an outlet for my sexual urges that real-life women can't. All my life I've never clicked too well with either sex, never mind the female one. Thus my dating opportunities were few in high school, and even fewer in subsequent years. Yes, there are women who love men and love sex. But if one does, chances are she's taken. So I've given up on dating, relationships, marriage and sex. When I get horny, I have porn (usually Literotica or Playboy) to fall back on.
2. Porn doesn't get mad at me for something I either did or failed to do. Many real-life women do that to their men so frequently, the men give up trying to please them. No matter what they do, it's never good enough. But with porn, I'm the only one who needs pleasing. It gets me off, no questions asked.
3. Porn doesn't get pregnant or give me STDs. No condoms necessary. Just a magazine or webpage plus either of my 2 good hands.
4. Porn never gets jealous if I view other porn. Playboy has been around since 1953. In 50+ years, there have been 600+ Playmates, ranging from women who are now old enough to be my grandma, to the current crop of Playmates who are a decade younger than I. Not one of those 600+ will ever care if I whack off to any of the others. And a few (Marilyn, Jayne, Dorothy, Anna Nicole) are no longer even alive to care.
THE CONS:
1. Porn can't keep me or my bed warm on cold winter nights. Of course, I can make up for that by rubbing myself against the sheets, thereby warming up both myself and the bed in little time.
2. Porn has no arms to hold me when I cry. I will concede that we all need the touch of another human being every now and then, and porn is a poor substitute in this regard. I do go to bars sometimes to get hugs and kisses from women, but I confine my interactions with them to the bars. I don't pursue them for dates or sex, ever. As I said earlier, they're all taken. Thus I seek affection from one source (real), sex from another (fantasy).
3. Porn is often expensive. Most Internet porn sites charge between $100 and $200 for a full year's membership. Of course, there are free and low-cost exceptions if one looks hard enough. Subscribing to the digital edition of Playboy's magazine is cheap (although its Cyber Club is more expensive). This very website, Literotica, is free, hence I call it "poor man's porn."
4. For some, porn does get addictive. I have heard/read stories about men indulging in porn so compulsively that they neglect their jobs, bills and other real-life responsibilities, and those who are married come to prefer porn over their spouses, even when said spouses are ready, willing and able to have sex. But porn, like alcohol, does not turn all of its consumers into addicts. (Given that this is Lit, I may be preaching to the choir, but I am confident that most who surf here don't get addicted to it. Besides, preaching to the feminists and pseudo-moralists would be casting pearls before swine.) And even if I were to get addicted, I as a single man have less to lose.
Some people's hangups about porn, I believe, are holdovers from America's colonial days, when the Puritans arrived. As a person grows, so does a country. Whatever values and beliefs are instilled into a person during childhood, tend to stay with that person throughout adulthood. And by the same token, whatever norms and mores prevail during a country's formative years will persist in said country for centuries. Yet just as there will always be people who condemn porn as evil, there will always be people like me who turn to porn for sexual satisfaction.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 10 years agoI enjoy the female form as much as any man can, but seriously some of it is sad sick stuff out there, to put a polite word on it .When it comes to crapping on each other , involving kids , hurting each other , animal fucking is out to. I knew one truly sick puppy who used to get his rocks off boasting about the snuff video he liked to watch. People there is some really sick shit out there .
PrincessErinabout 16 years agoInteresting point of view. I do like your ideas. Your point of view is from a man's perspective, maybe I'll write from a woman's perspective.
R M Roxingeralmost 17 years agoAuthorWomen's interest in me is more in their hands than mine. But continuing to fight a hopeless battle vs. giving up the fight, yes, that choice is mine to make. I choose to give up on the pursuit of women, much like I would on a business venture that proved unprofitable. I've reached a point by now where I no longer care if I never date again, or if I'm not strong enough, confident enough, tall enough, wealthy enough, or whatever. I'm a free man now.
Anonymousalmost 17 years agoPorn, the name comes from the greek for prostitute - can be good and exciting. Unfortunately most of it is poor quality and many of the stories could be generated by a computer.
Since porn is very widely read and enjoyed by men and women it is sad that there is not more of it well written. Visual porn when done well is the most exciting but good erotic videos are rare.
Literotica - I do not think it is a poor man's site as the author claims - could help by giving some guidance to first time authors, like avoiding all the lingery measurements and tales of excessively exagerated physical performance and focus on writing a story wilt a good plot, not just crude language.
I guess the general prejudice against sex and erotica prevents talented authors and directors from attempting to create good porn so most of it is produced by people who are incapable of writing good marketable fiction.
Anonymousalmost 17 years agoI doubt most women aspire only to marry the likes of the rich and famous. If that was the case, then most women (especially me), would never have gotten married. Personally, I felt that taking a chance at getting hurt was better than a lifetime of loneliness. But as I said, it is your choice.
Anonymousalmost 17 years agoThere are other reasons for porn that are so logical that I do not understand objections; younger people who really shouldn't BE having sex have an outlet, as do married individuals seperated from their wives/husbands, people who are too sick or hurt to really have sex, etc. Not to mention people who simply lack the time, resources, etc, to get a mate. There are so many people outside of the young adult and middle aged, healthy, well-off sections of society who can use this outlet.
Also, since I was reading Playboy even when I was quite young, I feel that porn can actually be an effective teaching device. A few decades ago, how many teens knew what a clitoris was? It really IMPROVES sex lives, not hurts them as some claim, to have this information early, to understand the mechanics and have ideas.
But I don't mean to try and steal any thunder; you have a great article here, and hopefully these types of articles help people keep their thoughts and libidos in order.
And if I may add to what a previous poster said, you CAN find a woman out there for you. Even if it's not "forever", I'm sure there are plenty of relationships you could get into. Try out of the ordinary ways, perhaps. I had a fiance from France I met online for several years; not only that, beautiful girl, great personality, and awesome sex. So, don't give up in life, because women at a bar will never equal a loving wife.
R M Roxingeralmost 17 years agoAuthorYes, some women consume porn too, although romance novels tend to be their counterpart to men's Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler, etc (which is not to say that all readers of said magazines are male, although the majority are). I suppose if it weren't for women who love porn (or at least love men & sex), where would be those 600+ Playmates (& many thousands of Playmate wannabes)?
In any case, among the many reasons men resort to porn is that they're tired of being rejected by real-life women. They know it's useless to even try to measure up to Bill Gates, Donald Trump, Brad Pitt & George Clooney, to the likes of whom women seem to be attracted. Of course that would be the male counterpart to women's complaint that they can't measure up to the Playmates. Yet we ogle the Playmates not because we'd date/marry them if we met them in real life (I in fact would not), but because fantasy is all that is (or at least seems to be) available to us. Although the right women can make us, the wrong ones can break us; better alone than with a radical feminist or golddigger!
Anonymousalmost 17 years agoI think your essay was well written, but I have a couple of points I’d like to add: <BR> 1) Women like porn too. 2) Not all women are taken.
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If you want to give up on sex that’s your choice, but find a better excuse. I am the poster girl for social reject and I managed to find someone. Focusing on what makes you different can help. For instance, I’m into heavy metal, paganism, writing, and other things that most people consider strange. The first time I went to a personals website I found my husband.
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You’re college educated and appear intelligent. I’m sure you can find someone if you want to look…
Anonymousalmost 17 years agoThis is good - definitely raises questions about what porn is and what role it plays in different people's lives.
