All Comments on 'Poster Girl Ch. 03 - Finale'

Losing Melody so quickly did leave me feeling a little shor-changed.

Melody was there to 'fix' Daryl from his insecurities and hang ups. She knew this the moment Katie showed up in the food court. Her departure was a point of pride. Daryl was healed and ready to have real relationships with women.

Well written, and to the point, too.

I have to agree that you did improve and you totally kicked ass on the ending with your wording, your timing and on a personal basis you managed to hit me pretty hard emotionally with the growth and love this story showed in it’s incredibly well written characters. I look forward to enjoying more of your work and watching you grow even more as an author.

Lexx xoxo

"exact spot same spot" redundant first spot.

"then I inched her nipple" typo. Missing p

"and we sat a listened" typo? A-> and? Or maybe should be "as we sat and listened" ?

"about an hour later," missing capital on "about"

(oh, Incase you're worried, I only bother proofing stories I like unless I'm actually getting paid for it, so this is a compliment).

"I played to the crowd in generally," in general, or crowd generally.

"threatened to back her things" back -> pack.

"falling a sleep beside you." Asleep (typo)

Great ending.

Loved the story, wondered if it would turn into a threesome or something else.