All Comments on 'Private Beach'

Hi Jane; Welcome; Keep it up.

No, I do not intentionally write puns.

Good start and I want to recognize a couple of things (not in order of importance).

- You made a good choice for the tags. Too many do not.

- Couple stories that involve others are difficult to write, so keep it up. The problem many have is lack of imagination (BBC being the top of that list). Your version has some non-traditional elements. Good!

- The intro is a little bland, though I understand the benefits of establishing the backstory. My comment is structural not critical of content.

- It is very hard to get a rational story that is also erotic and short. This is about a thousand words and successful. You have room to expand.

- Expand? Character is more important than kink; meaning get the reader engaged in understanding the charcters' urges and wondering what is going to happen. A story that achives a little tension grabs a reader.

- Subject area? Couples stories are a high art form, but nobody agrees on what the couples should be doing. Hence, the LW category comments has both enthusiasm and ugliness. The couples and exhibition category is difficult one because the eroticism of couple exhibition is a high bar that most stories struggle with.

Hope to read more !

Hi mikeswives!

Thank you so much for reading and for taking the time to write that review. I wrote Private Beach a couple of yeas ago, probably almost 10 years now, and it's been sitting on my computer since. You made good points, when the muse calls again I'll try and have them all in mind.