Process Maturity

She looked him up and down lasciviously before he took his seat. "Good morning yourself, stud. I think we all had a fun night, thanks to you, including most of the staff. Vi is sleeping in, had to go to the docs late yesterday. You sure do make life interesting."

"What are you talking about? Thanks to me? I didn't do anything."

"Yeah you did. Marta warned us you'd be firing up your routines for the first time, and I can see from the way your zipper is straining that it was damn kind to you. We just weren't expecting you to flood the complex with pheromones."

"Oh. Oh no, Violet is more sensitive!"

"Yep. Chill, she's fine, just sleeping off a big dose of horny. I'm assuming you have an appointment after we eat?"

What had he done? He could never let that happen again. So much for a good mood. "Y-yeah, I do. I should finish up and get to that. Thanks for the information, Issa."

"Thanks for accidentally driving me crazy last night. And the day before. Can't wait to see what you do to me today without thinking."

"Issa, please. I feel awful about this."

"Oh, stop. You're not doing it on purpose, and you're not hurting anyone, and it's literally why we're all here. Now sit and finish those biscuits and gravy, you need the extra calories. Trust me on this one."

Nicholas took a deep breath, calmed himself, and ate his breakfast. He wasn't a particularly good conversationalist, but Issa didn't seem to mind. When he excused himself and headed to the exam floor, he could swear she was laughing at him. Maybe she could take this with equanimity, but he just wanted to learn how to stop this nonsense.

He knocked on the door of Dr. Ratcliffe's office, and she called him in. It was a mirror of the one he'd first met her in, as much as the space allowed, and she looked much as she had that day. Was it really only four days ago? So much had changed already, not least of which being his own body. "Good morning, doctor. I, uh, followed your instructions, and I have some concerns."

"Nicholas, good morning. I'm fairly sure I know what you're concerned about, and let me assure you, while what happened yesterday evening was a bit more...vigorous than expected, it was not unanticipated, and we have already learned a lot."

"Was that Violet in the hallway?"

"You heard her, then. Yes, it was. She is perfectly healthy, we're going to move her to a room more distant from yours, and we're already ordering a more efficient air filtration system that we believe should avoid any more such incidents."

"Marta, I've already caused two 'incidents' without trying to. What's happening to me? I feel like I'm some sort of sexual weapon that could explode at any moment. This isn't just puberty."

"You're correct, Nicholas, it's not. I'm very sorry that I couldn't explain to you the true extent of what your particular set of genetic anomalies means, and to be completely honest, you seem to be exceeding expectations at every turn. I will be happy to give you as detailed a description as I can this morning, although with your permission I would like to get the exam out of the way first."

"Sure, that makes sense. Just give me a moment." He started undressing, remembering Marta's preference for visually tracking her patients' progress. This time, though, he imagined he could feel her eyes on him. She still looked as professional as ever, but something told him it was more of a challenge for her this time. Her physical examination was entirely innocent, no lingering touches of his slightly more muscular frame, no unnecessary glances at his significantly more impressive genitals, no questions phrased in double entendres. Perhaps it was just his imagination, his hormones trying to excite him with the idea of his incredibly sexy doctor making her detailed survey of his naked body into a less medical endeavor.

"You can get dressed now, Nicholas. Your condition is certainly capable of rapid progress, more than I'd anticipated. I'm quite glad you agreed to join us at the Institute; however you may be feeling about it, you have to admit that these effects would have been far more difficult to manage elsewhere and without support. Now, just a quick scan of your image, and we can discuss the details." She walked to one of the scanning platforms, retrieved a hand scanner, and held it out to him. He placed his palm on the device, and felt the odd inward shiver of the entirety of his code being read and recorded for analysis. "Very good. Why don't you have a seat, and I'll try to sate your curiosity."

He planted himself rather unceremoniously in one of the comfortable chairs; he was feeling uncharacteristically pugnacious, and tried to clear his head. Feeling scared, ignorant, and angry was appropriate for the first runthrough of puberty, not for an adult. "Marta, I don't mean to push here, but this isn't idle curiosity. I'm afraid I'm going to hurt someone, or make someone act against their will. It's not my body changing, however much and however fast that's happening, it's the...I don't know what to call it, powers? I'm not just being affected, I'm affecting other people."

"Believe it or not, everything you've experienced is in fact Cyberdream's attempt to accurately model puberty. It just so happens that your particular instantiation of the concept has been dialed up to levels rarely seen. Let me correct that, levels never seen, even by myself. The 'full package' includes a vast array of technobiological routines, from obvious to extremely subtle, which I gather that your fellow patients have told you a little about. First and foremost, the primary effect of puberty: growth. With the one-off switches for sexual maturity having already been switched, the most obvious task of the maturation process is to cause various characteristics to get bigger. Your physical body is likely going through related changes, but where the simulation differs is in how the routines interact with you and with each other. Sexual stimulation, in your case with thresholds well below climax, triggers a new instance of the maturation routines, on top of the baseline ones kicked off by the genetic signal. For you, each instance of the code compounds, not just building linearly on top of what your body already has, but geometrically as each instance spurs all the others to greater effect. It's possible that you actually have a conscious sensation of this occurring, which you may have noticed yesterday."

"Yeah, I did feel it happen. It was like a wave of warmth washing over me, spreading out from somewhere inside."

"That's not an uncommon description. It's also useful for you, because it lets you know when you're triggering your condition, allowing you to potentially bring it under control. As you might have guessed, your combination of factors is not universal; Marissa, for instance, has higher thresholds for the trigger, while Violet's routines don't compound, they each act independently. In addition to the growth, you'll probably notice an increase in sensitivity, at least to a certain point, as your body and brain tune themselves for a focus on sexual activity. While this might be distracting at first, I have a theory that the increase in neurological complexity required should allow you to achieve more focus on intellectual pursuits, although the effect has never been pronounced enough to be detected."

"You mean this could make me smarter?"

"In a sense, more of an increase in potential. Still, the theory relies on your physical body following suit with the sensory input from Cyberdream, so it's quite speculative. As to the incident from last night, you may have already learned that your condition ramps up pheromone production. It was once thought humans had no such chemical means of communication, but the near-defunct remnants were there in our genetic code, coming into play at sexual maturity, and the simulation models them. For you, the expression of those genes is fully implemented, and then amplified with each instance of the routines. The more aroused you become, the more you'll send signals of that arousal to everyone in the vicinity, which you may have heard manifests as sexual desire in most people. In those whose pheromone receptor genes are more strongly expressed, the effect will be more pronounced and more focused. To put it directly, Violet knows your scent, and you didn't just cause her to want sex in general, you caused her to want you."

"Can I, you know, not do that? I mean, I was in the shower, so clearly I can't just wash these pheromones off."

"I'm afraid we don't have enough data yet to help you on this front. We'll do what we can, but only one other man has had this particular genetic marker, and his participation in our research was...less than stellar. I have high hopes with you, though. The data surgeons can usually lessen the effect, should it grow too overwhelming, and the air filtration system upgrade will help quite a lot, but I think we're all going to have to get used to things just being a little sexier around here. Speaking of which, the last key element we should discuss, the effect you had on Issa. This one is almost entirely an artifact of Cyberdream, although we know it has roots in your genetics. Going through puberty makes a person, well, attractive sexually. Beyond physical appearance, beyond chemical messengers, there's simply sexiness. The code to represent such a nebulous concept is maddeningly complex, developed decades ago through evolutionary programming, initially as part of making artificial intelligences react appropriately. Your condition ramps up the output of that code, making you in general simply more sexually attractive, however you might look. If you focus lustful attention on a particular person, the simulation responds, and in your case it seems to overreact to a degree we haven't seen in anyone else. Issa can do this to an extent..."

"Yeah, that would explain a lot."

Marta smirked. "Oh really? Very interesting. In any case, she has far more practice with it, and has triggered her routines many more times, yet you seem to be able to effortlessly arouse someone with far more efficacy. We don't know nearly enough about this effect to do much with it, but we've seen it in action enough to be able to help you learn to control it. Issa would probably be the best teacher for you, in fact. That covers the outward changes that you'll experience with the full package, although I may have more to tell you after we analyze your latest scan. Do you have any questions?"

Lots, but not that he thought she could answer; questions like why him, why now, could he just shut himself away and never deal with people ever again. "I think that tells me what everyone has been talking about, and I do feel better. Have I been, I don't know, causing trouble just by being here?"

"A little, to be honest, but none of it is your fault. You would have caused much more by not being here. Everyone wants to hear this, and most people do at some point, but in your case it's verifiably true: you're special, Nicholas, possibly unique. What we learn by having you here could help countless people, even without conditions like yours, and provide us with knowledge about the world we live in that no one has ever obtained, or even thought to look for. You can always talk to me about any concerns you might have, and I know that Issa and Vi already consider you a friend. You'll never be met with anything but acceptance here, Nicholas."

"Thank you, that truly helps. If there's nothing else, I was thinking I might go to the library for a while, do some writing, give the main building a chance to literally clear the air."

"I think that would be a marvelous idea. Have a good day, Mr. Arran."

Nicholas spent the rest of the morning ensconced in the cool, dim quiet of the library, putting together the outline for a future episode of a holo series he wrote for. His colleagues weren't expecting him to do any writing, he'd gotten the all clear to take time for a medical issue, but it was good to organize his thoughts and get a creative outlet. He was undisturbed, doing a familiar task, able to recognize his mind processing information in the background by engaging in a straightforward intellectual exercise. Writing never seemed like a job to him. Rather, it was simply what he did, what came naturally to him, and he was good enough at it to get paid for it. Still, he couldn't hide here forever. He needed to start getting his strangely altered life under control. Marta had said that he could gain some restraint and mastery over his...sexiness, and that Issa could teach him. The rest of his condition seemed out of his hands, the topic of future research or corrections by data surgeons. If he'd learned one lesson from the pain he'd gone through, it was to leave aside the problems he couldn't control, and focus on what he could.

He'd missed Issa and Vi at lunch; they were attending their tai chi lessons, and while joining them sounded like a good idea for the future, the events of the past few days led him to believe they could use a break from his presence and an opportunity to recenter themselves. Instead, he had his meal alone, and left a message for Issa asking him to come to his room for a chat at her convenience. Nicholas then filled his afternoon with housekeeping matters; room locks, networking updates, laundry, the minutiae of life. It was not quite dinner time when Issa knocked on his door. He ushered her inside and offered her a seat. She looked lovely, showing off her voluptuous curves in a tank top and tight skirt, the latter of which made no attempt at hiding the significant bulge between her legs. Had she dressed up for him, or were his hormones getting the better of him again? They exchanged pleasantries, he poured glasses of water, and they settled into chairs by his table.

"Alright big guy, what's on your mind? I knew I'd get an invitation to your room eventually, but this seems more innocent than I'd hoped." There she went again, teasing him. Or was she?

"Well, Issa, I learned a lot from Marta this morning, including about the, what did you call it, 'whammy' I put on you. She mentioned that you're capable of similar effects, and I was hoping you could help me practice control over my own...attractiveness...power...thing."

She looked surprised, blinking at him as if trying to understand what he had said. "Oh. Okay, um, yeah. You actually want, you know, help. Sure, I mean, of course. I just, look, there's been one other person who could do this, and he was not polite about it, so having you come to me to actually learn how shit works is...new. Like, you've been given so much by this weird glitch we all have, and based on what you've done by accident you could be ruling over us like some kind of sex god within a week, and you're just so chill with it. Puberty and responsibility don't usually go hand in hand, ya know?"

"Like you said, it's a weird glitch. I don't think of it as having been given anything; it's more like I'm saddled with it, a burden I have to deal with as best I can. I guess restraint and responsibility come with being old."

"Dude, Nick, you're not old. You're mature, experienced, polished. You'd be attractive even without the condition; with it, all that energy and stamina, plus what you're getting from the full package, plus decades of knowing how to handle yourself? You can have anyone you want, and they'll beg you for it. Lesson number one, okay? You want control over this, you've got to own it. Be confident, self-assured, secure in your own hotness. Like me." She grinned at him, joking, but she meant what she said. "If you keep it all bottled up behind the walls you've built, it's just going to leak out when you don't mean it to, which is what you did to me. You're telling the 'Dream that you don't want any with all those insecurities, and it's getting confused because you can get whatever you want, so the moment you flirt, it sends whoever you're flirting with into overdrive to compensate. I think, anyway; I'm no coder, I just live with this shit."

"You're saying I need to have a different personality, or I'm screwed? That's not particularly helpful, Issa. I can't be someone other than who I am."

She put on the most serious, caring expression he'd seen from her, the usual lighthearted teasing entirely absent from her eyes. "Nicholas, I'm going to say some things you need to hear if you're going to make it in this place. I don't know what you've been through, not the details anyway. I don't know what life is like for anyone outside of a research facility, for that matter, not really. What I do know is that, whoever she is, she hurt you badly. She convinced you that you're not good enough, I can see that, and she made you so scared of failing, so frightened of your own capabilities, that you don't think you can do this. I know better. You hit me with it, and bud, you've got power. You're strong, Nick, and I don't mean your condition, I mean your smarts, your personality, your talent, your willpower. Yeah, after whatever it was she did to you, you gave up. But you're still here, and you can start again, and dude you are going to rock at whatever you put your mind to. I'm not asking you to change who you are, I'm asking you to start being who you are."

He wasn't expecting therapy from Issa, but what she'd said struck deep. Wasn't a chance to start over what he wanted? He'd said it to himself several times, but he was still holding on to what he'd been trying to leave behind. Now, he was sitting with a stunningly gorgeous woman who he knew was attracted to him, and she believed in him like nobody had in quite a while. She was absolutely right. "Thanks. I needed that. I can certainly give it a shot, especially if it's going to help with controlling the one bit of this morass of hormonal nonsense I have some say over. So, how does it work?"

"It might be a little different for you, but I'll tell you what I do, and we'll explore to figure out your quirks. Everybody does this a little; when they see someone they like, and want to hit on them, they turn on the charm. Body language, posture, facial expression, tone of voice, phrasing, all part of it. What you and I have on top of all that is the simulation paying attention to our mindset. When you figure out the specific cast of your thoughts you need to use to fire off the routines, it's as simple as wanting someone, and wanting them to want you back. For instance." Issa batted her eyes at him, her smile a little naughtier, a shift of her body drawing his eyes to her cleavage. "How big did you make yourself last night, huh?"

His mouth watered, there was a tingling feeling in his cheeks and the bridge of his nose, and he was acutely aware of precisely how close his body was to hers. "Fuck, Issa, it's huge, like hard to hold now. I had to use both hands, and the damn thing just wanted to keep going. Do you want to...oh, okay, I see what you mean." His brain had gone on autopilot as his cock stiffened uncomfortably in his pants; she wanted to hear about his dick, so of course he'd told her, and was about to offer to show her. It had felt like the most natural course of action, just the appropriate response to what he knew was a mutual desire to screw each other crosseyed. At least, until she let up and started giggling at him.

"You're cute when you're horny, you know that? You should talk that way more often, it'll help your confidence."

"I'll work on it. Thanks for taking it easy on me, by the way."

She shook her head in disbelief, an expression he was beginning to get used to. "Nick, whatever lets us do this has already decided you're top dog. Yeah, I stopped, but I hit you as hard as I could. And you talked to me about your cock. Which, to be clear, I would love to have a look at, but the point is, if I'd tossed that much charm at the average guy, he'd have answered my question by bending me over the table. See what I mean about willpower?"