- Gay Male
- Project Phoenix Ch. 05
- Comments
All Comments on 'Project Phoenix Ch. 05'
by yaoi_lover_21
- 11 Comments
Ansticeover 12 years agoSo I get why the ship had to land on Yolaris, but why do they have to get off the ship? I doesn't seem like they would need to say there very long, and even if they did, I don't understand why couldn't they just go on living on the ship, since it basically seems like a city in and of itself.
Also, having impromptu sex in the forest while they're on a mission seems really out of character, especially for Dex. I mean he called P&E and drugged his companion because it was protocol, so it doesn't seem like he would be the type to stop for a quickie in the middle of a mission on a planet they don't know much about.
A helpful tip if you are struggling with grammar, punctuation, etc., there are volunteer editors available on the site (of which I am one), who can do copy editing and help you with your story by checking for holes and generally giving advice.
Other than the above I have enjoyed your story thus far. There are not a ton of gay male/scifi stories out there so kudos for taking it on : )
YaoiIsMyAntiDrugover 12 years agoI jumped up and made my dad look at me funny since I've been waiting for this story.
I would like to say that it seemed kinda short and thrown together. more like my stories lol but I loved it none the less and can't wait to seet what lester and stenn are up to
yaoi_lover_21over 12 years agoAuthorHi guys!
Thanks for all the great comments. I feel so honored that you guys have kept up with the series and look forward to each chapter.
To address the plot holes, they got off the ships just because I felt that would be something they would do, try to make a temporary base camp while they're hiding from the NF. If it felt rush, it was a tad because I am in college so think of this as chapter 5 part 1 I guess. But overall I hope you all enjoyed the story and I'll take my time with Ch 06, but a warning it may be a month or so until its finished and posted.
xxxYaoiLover21
Anonymousover 12 years agoPlease help me with my Dax and Mitch addiction. Need the rest, NOW PLEASE!
canndover 12 years agoGlad to see another chapter. I am waiting now to find out what the heck is going on! I can't wait for a new chapter. Who are these officers and where do they fall on the heirarchy of the officers in the meeting on the ship and Dex's position and those under him. What power do they have. Why would they want to kill Nate and get the natives to attack them. Did someone they locked up on the ship get out and find a way to call for help? I really hope a new chapter comes soon b/c it is really building up here and I want those questions answered.
The one thing I think should have been done differently is that the beginning made me really feel like I missed something. I went back to check I'd read 4. Last we knew they were hurtling through space and not sure they could nail the landing. Then suddenly we move to dex and mitch having a quickie on the planet. It was missing a transition. They should have been something about the landing and something about how they split up to do what jobs. We hear the names of the groups being shot at/tied up but we don't know who was in them and what they were doing.
Aside from that
Overall good chapter and a mean cliffhanger! :)
yaoi_lover_21@yaoi_lover_21
