- Incest/Taboo
- Prom Night
- Page 4
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"You know what. I enjoyed it too. But um, what about Bonnie?"
"What about her?'
"Well. You cheated on her the very first night you started dating her.How do you think she's going to react to that?"
"Eh. You going to tell her that I cheated on her, and with whom?"
"No.I'd be crazy to say I was fucked by my brother."
"So I guess all is safe then."
"All is safe."
"Feel like going again?"
"Yeah. Mom after all thinks I'm Bonnie."
The End...
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 2 years agoThere's nothing wrong with a four page story. I was in the mood for something like this. Good job.
linnearalmost 3 years agoI came across this again and it still holds up. I wanted so much more but I thought it was excellent writing.
Mvdude47over 3 years agoAnother great story, involving incest and younger kids. Thanks!!
ROCKY70over 4 years agoThis one was just like old times, my only problem back then was, I had an old VW . An anyone knows a 1952 VW has almost no back seat. You did a good job,keep it up...THANKS
Anonymousover 5 years agoI enjoyed reading this story along with the others you wrote. You are quite good at telling rather short stories which do a surprisingly good job at bringing to life to the characters. As I was reading this story I began to be drawn in and let my imagination flow to where this story could have gone. Of course, this story was destined to go down the path of your choosing, yet after it was done I was left needing something more, and all I could think about is that there could have been so much more to this story that would have made it really come alive. I felt compelled to offer you a little free advice, lol, for whatever it’s worth, take it or leave it as you see fit.
I believe that if you truly want to deliver a story to the readers that blows them away and takes them on a magic carpet ride into your imagination then you might want to do the following two things:
1) Have an editor give you a few helpful tips on word choice and sentence structure. Occasionally I had to stop and reword a sentence in order for it to make sense. This is not a huge deal but it does interrupt the flow of the story. If you could clean that up your readers will easily get lost in your world.
2) Your stories tend to be on the short side, and it is my belief that if you really want readers to become fully invested in the stories you write you may want to consider delving deeper. I say this not as a critic, but as a fan who would love see you write a story that truly explores the details of the erotic works of fiction you so obviously enjoy writing.
Best of luck in your future writing ventures from FatChick4Erotica!
