Protégé

Stairs safely negotiated, there was only the conservatory to go. Mum had her back half to me, so I would be able to approach without being seen too soon. I thought about checking my heart rate on my sports watch, but it was beating so fast, I didn't really want to know. I walked slowly down the garden and it was only in the last few paces that my heels clicked on the paving.

Mum swept her long hair behind her ear and looked up from her phone. She was wearing a light summer dress and as people had often said, she really could have passed for my older sister. I stopped in my tracks as her eyes went wide in astonishment.

My voice was barely a whisper. "Hi Mum. My name is still Hannah and I am still your daughter."

I saw her lips tighten and she swallowed hard. As she stood, she pursed her lips and blew out a little expulsion of air. Her eyes misted over as she held out a hand to me. "Oh my little girl, what have you done?"

I breathed in deeply trying not to cry as I took her hand in mine. "I've grown up, Mum. This is who I've wanted to be for so long." I felt my own eyes glaze over as a tear ran down the side of her nose. She put her hand up to my face and stroked it gently, her eyes roaming, taking in every detail. I could see she was trembling and waited for the skyrocket to ignite.

It never came. She took a step back and looked me up and down from head to toe. She turned back to the table and picked up her drink. I tensed, half expecting to be wearing it, but she gulped it down in one. Her voice was breathless. "I put vodka in it - thought I may need it somehow..."

"Mum, I'm sorry, but this is me. It's how I've always seen myself but never dared to act on it."

She put a finger to her lips much as Meryn had done to mine, telling me to hush. I had never heard my mother so much as utter a single swearword in all my years. She put her arms around me and drew me in and I felt her body shaking as she hugged me. "Fucking stunning, Hannah. Absolutely fucking gorgeous." She dissolved into floods of tears and I wasn't far behind. She held me for a long moment before letting go. She picked up her glass. "Need another." She nodded at the glass set out for me. "Something stronger?"

I nodded mutely and went to sit down as she returned to the house. I was stunned and elated by her positive reaction. She was still shaking when she returned a few minutes later and handed me a tall glass. She held hers to mine. "To my new daughter!"

"To me." We clinked glasses and drank. "Thanks for your understanding, Mum - it means everything to me." I should have felt uncomfortable, but I was so relieved and grateful at her reaction.

She took a deep breath. "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, Hann. For my last year at school, I used to dress like that. Not quite as... elegantly or subtly, but yes, I was like that for a while."

I laughed, more in shock than anything. "I never knew. Why did you stop?"

Her head dropped. "Your Granny Hall for one thing. Couldn't understand why her daughter wanted to 'look like a street-girl', as she put it." She sighed and took a long drink. "Then your Dad - when I met him, I was swept off my feet and it all seemed a bit... I don't know... superfluous?" She put her hand on mine again. "But you - oh my God, Hannah!"

My Mum had always been empathic with me and my siblings and at times almost a mind-reader. I should have expected what came next, but it still took me aback a little. "I know you've done it for yourself, but is it for... anyone else?"

At least I didn't have to broach cluster-bomb two myself. "Yes, Mum - I'm seeing someone. We've become very close, very quickly."

She smiled. "About bloody time!"

"Mum, what's with all the swearing?"

She shrugged. "You are being you at last, I'm being me for once. Just give me a kick if I do it front of the other two. What's he like?"

Here we go. I took a very deep breath and swallowed hard. "Mum..." I sat unable to speak for what seemed like hours, staring at the table between us, my finger picking at a loose piece of wood.

He voice was calm. "Ok, what's... she... like?"

As I said, so empathic.

Praying that all of the revealing pictures of Meryn and I had been transferred to somewhere more discreet, I thumbed through my gallery. I handed her my phone and held my breath as she took it. "Mum, this is Meryn - my girlfriend." Somehow, it just felt so right to say those words.

A soft smile crept across her face and she nodded slowly. "You look so happy. She's a lovely girl and a lovely name. May I?" She mimed flicking her finger to see more pictures and I nodded.

She sighed deeply. "God, I remember being that much in love."

"Still time, Mum - you're young - you still look gorgeous." I paused. "Thanks for not judging. It just happened out of the blue - hit me like a runaway train."

"I can see why." She looked down and realised her drink was empty. Mine was still virtually untouched and sensing something else was coming I handed it to her.

"Thanks Hannah. I can't judge because that would be hypocritical of me."

It took me a few seconds to take in her words. "Oh my God, when?"

She took a long drink. I'd be giving her black coffee soon at the rate she was going. "Way back. I went to an all girl's school, remember? There were a few, but Lucy Farmer and I were together for a few months." She looked down at the table, reddening slightly, her voice barely a whisper. "It was... nice." She let out another huge sigh. "Don't get me wrong, Hannah - I love you, Lillie and Marcus with all my heart, and I wouldn't change anything. But there are still times I wonder what it would have been like if I'd gone with my heart and not my head."

Relieved and euphoric at the way things had gone and reeling slightly at Mum's Iittle revelation, I relaxed and I told her all about Meryn and the Gallery. Shyly, she told me a little about her past before she met Dad and although she didn't say it, I could tell that she still had inclinations that way. No wonder I had turned out to be the way I was.

Just as I thought I was ready to tell her my third and last bombshell - that tiny little one about leaving my job, moving in with Meryn and studying under Angelina's tutelage, the clairvoyant in her came out once more.

"So, any more revelations to hit me with? Any more tattoos I can't see? Any piercings?"

"Mum, you are a bloody mind reader." I ticked off on my fingers. "Tattoos - yes, two of them. Can you see them? No!" I felt it best not to show my mother the two little butterflies that now resided just beneath each hip bone. "Piercings... not yet - but coming soon to somewhere you're not going to get to see either!"

We were now laughing like schoolkids and I finished the last of the drink. "And there is one more thing..."

She did a facepalm. "Shit and corruption - are you trying to make me old and grey before my time?"

I made to say something, but she stood, her palm up towards me." Come on, I need a proper drink. Tell me down the pub. Lunch is on me."

We were there for three hours and she took my final pieces of news with the same aplomb she had taken everything else. We had a couple of bottles of wine and some sharing plates of food and by the end I couldn't wait for her to meet Meryn. I had attracted a few significant looks from some of the locals and as we were about to go, old Tom Fletcher and his wife - the one who had seen me at the bus-stop - passed our table and he stopped dead.

"Blimey, Lisa - all these years and never knew your Hannah had a twin!"

We laughed and as they moved away, I heard his wife mutter under her breath, "More like an evil twin... what does she think she looks like?"

As she scurried off to the toilet, Tom came back looking sheepish. "Pay 'er no heed. I thinks you look marvellous, young lady!"

Back home, I gave Mum a huge hug and thanked her for being so understanding. She thanked me back and said it was nice to get some things off her chest that had been eating away for years. As I made to go up to my room, I had a little revelation.

"Mum, come up here a minute, will you please?"

Well, it was fifteen minutes in the end. She looked at herself in the mirror and I thought she was going to cry again. I had done her makeup for her, and as she was the same size as me, my clothes fitted her perfectly. She stood, biting her lip as she gazed back at herself as she must have looked over twenty years before.

She turned and smiled at me. "Thanks, Hannah, how do I look?"

I felt another tear trickle down my face. "Fucking stunning, Mum. Absolutely, fucking gorgeous."

Ten

Meryn stared at my phone with her mouth wide open. "That's never your Mum?"

"Yup - just gave her a little make-over after our heart-to-heart."

She pushed me down onto the bed and got up holding my phone to her ear, giggling. "Yeah Lisa, on my way right now!"

"Meryn, what are you doing?"

"Fuck off, Andrews - how does it feel to be dumped for your mother? She's fucking hot as Hades!" She grinned at me. "Go on - get yerself back to work, you naughty little minx you. And it's time I met her, Hannah. I promise I won't make a move on her."

I loved our twice-weekly lunchtime trysts in the flat above the gallery and I couldn't wait to move in with her. It made going back to work all the more difficult but sitting in the office having just made love to my girlfriend sent a little frisson through me every time. I had handed my notice in the previous week, so had three weeks left to go before I could start my new life as a budding artist.

A few nights later, Mum left Lillie in the capable hands of Marcus. He was so grown up and Lillie doted on him, so she was no trouble. Besides, the pub was only a few hundred yards away across the village green if she was needed.

She and Meryn took to each other immediately. We sat in one of the small alcoves, drinking wine and tucking into another of the fine sharing plates they did. Meryn looked at Mum. "Hannah showed me the make-over shot. You looked amazing, Mrs. Andrews."

Mum smiled. "Thanks Meryn, and it's Lisa. I feel old enough already without the Mrs. bit!"

"Ok - Lisa it is. Whatever, you looked stunning in that get-up. Gonna go full time?"

Mum laughed. "Oh yeah, imagine coming in to see your solicitor and a forty-year old Goth is staring out across the desk at you!"

Meryn shrugged. "Works for me!"

It felt so good to be with two people I loved so much and for it to be so open, natural and honest. Meryn even probed about Mum's hitherto hidden past and I was more than a little shocked when she asked, "Would you do it again?"

She laughed ruefully. "Bit late for me now I think, whatever the gender."

Meryn looked at her as though she were mad. She lowered her voice and leaned across the booth. "Oh come on, Lisa - you're no age and you're gorgeous. Get yerself on Tinder - bet you'd be getting loads of swipes in minutes!"

Suitably embarrassed, Mum changed the subject but the conversation still flowed and we had a great night and I was so pleased they got along so well. As we waited outside for a taxi to take us back into town, Mum took Meryn by the hand. "Thank you for making my daughter so happy. I'd always hoped for a nice, handsome boy, but I'm absolutely thrilled that she found a nice, beautiful girl instead."

Meryn leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. "Thanks, Lisa - wish my folks were so understanding."

"Sorry to hear that." Mum inclined her head towards the house. "I'd have no problem with you staying if it wasn't for Lillie and Marcus. When they're at their Dad's, you'll always be welcome."

She hugged us both as the taxi pulled up. "Lovely to meet you, Meryn."

We got into the cab and Meryn looked up at her. "Thanks, and lovely to meet you too, Lisa. And hey - get yerself back in the game, eh?"

Mum was looking pensive as the taxi pulled away and she walked back towards the house.

Three weeks later, Meryn was back and I was in a bit of a state. I was dying to move in with her, but despite everything, I was going to miss Lillie and Marcus. And Mum of course. As we loaded the last few things into the small van we had hired, Lillie was trying to help and Marcus was trying hard not to stare at my new girlfriend too hard. I had seen Meryn in earnest conversation with Lillie a number of times and the way my little sister was laughing and giggling, I assumed they were getting along fine.

When Meryn disappeared for a comfort break, Lillie sidled up to me. "I like Meryn." Of course, it came out as 'Mewwyn' and sounded all the cuter for it.

"That's great, Lil's - glad you like her coz she's a special friend."

Lillie nodded sagely, her little pigtails bobbing. "'Course I like her - she says Pooh is not just the coolest bear in the World, but the whole Universe!"

Ah well it was an acceptance, and at least I now had Mum and Lillie on board. That just left my little bro'. I decided to test the water and took him to one side. "So, what do you think?"

He shrugged, trying to be cool. "Seems nice enough."

I needed to know for sure. "Marcus, we're more than just... friends - you understand that, don't you?"

He smiled at me. "Hey, Hann - my big sis is going to be living with a drop-dead gorgeous girl. Got to be better than that knob Robin. What's not to like?"

For the first time in ages I hugged him. There was just Dad left now, but he could wait.

It felt wonderful to be living with Meryn and I loved being in the centre of town, though I did miss the garden. There were still two weeks until I could start my course, so it was a great opportunity for Meryn to show me the ropes at the Gallery. The first couple of days were spent getting used to the various systems and I was proud on my second afternoon when I put through my first sale. I smiled as I put the copy receipt in the till, stating that the salesperson was 'Hannah'. My other main tasks were to contact a list of local artists not on the books to see if they would like us to represent them, and to catalogue the artworks on sale and in the storage room.

I had some successes there too and by the end of the week I had arranged for three artists to discuss terms with Meryn and I had also designed a few spreadsheets for the cataloguing. I had done a lot of spreadsheet work in my old job and it came in handy. I had also taught myself Access Database and soon had a nifty little system on the go that would take my spreadsheets as an import and I could pull off reports on all sorts of criteria. I even had the Gallery logo on there and as my first week came to a close, I was feeling rather pleased with myself. For the first time in years, I felt job satisfaction and I knew I was going to like it.

It was such a thrill to see five of my drawings on display. Meryn had framed them and I got a tingle every time I looked at 'Girl with Abacus by Hannah Andrews' and the others even if they had not resulted in a sale as yet.

On the Friday afternoon I found I was still clock-gazing as I had done for years in my previous job. Meryn was obviously feeling the same and we were anxious to hit the pub before a long, raunchy session upstairs. There were a couple of people browsing but none seemed particularly interested in parting with their hard-earned cash. We were willing them to leave so we could close up shop.

I was trying to get one of them interested in a rather nice glass sculpture they were deliberating over when the front door opened and two UPS delivery guys came struggling in with a massive box they could barely carry. They left it in front of the reception desk and Meryn signed for it with a puzzled look on her face. "Not expecting any deliveries - what the hell is in there?"

As I managed to close my sale, she began to attack the huge cardboard box with a Stanley knife and I saw her eyes go wide. She quickly shut the lid and gave an embarrassed little smile. As my customer tapped in her PIN, she mouthed to me, "Maybe best to wait!"

Intrigued, I bubble-wrapped the sculpture and thanked the buyer. We still had one straggler, seemingly hell bent on perusing every piece of art on the walls. Meryn pointed at the box then the customer and mouthed again. "Fucking hell, get rid!"

I held my arms out and it was my turn to mouth. "How? What is it?"

Finally, the browser gave us a brief nod of thanks and left. Meryn almost sprinted across the room, set the sign to 'Closed' and spread-eagled herself against the door, barring it against all-comers. She let out a deep sigh and still pinned to the door, pointed at the box once more, her face a picture. "Oh my fucking Lord, Hannah. Take a look in there..."

I did, but being slightly naive, she had to tell me that there was not only a sex bench in there, but two body harnesses, a spreader bar, a neck and wrist restraint and a strap-on mouth dildo.

It was only much later, when we had nearly broken our backs getting it all upstairs, that we found the rest of the strap-ons, nipple clamps, handcuffs, butt plugs and a huge, deep purple, ribbed vibrator that scared the living shit out of me. There was also a brief note which said, 'For Gallery staff use only. Enjoy your housewarming gift, love Angelfire. (PS I want pictures!)'

I was summarily dispatched to buy wine and beer and Meryn ordered in pizza. We didn't get out much that weekend and by the Sunday, what had once been the spare room was now Christened 'The Naughty Room' and it was half full of equipment. We had already perused the catalogue that came with the order to see what else we could add to our new collection and Angelina was going to love the first three drawings I had produced. It was almost a relief when Monday came around and by then I already had a very deep addiction to being restrained.

Not that we had much time to relax. On the Tuesday, one of our featured artists came in for her bi-monthly review. Her works were going well and clearly, she and Meryn had previous. We sat in the pub after work and it didn't take long to work out how the evening was going to end. Evie was a thirty-something lady with short, deep red hair, huge glasses and a pale complexion. She was built like what my Dad called 'a racing snake' - thin, flat-chested and probably weighed six stones soaking wet.

But, fuck me did she go for it? My third threesome was every bit as good as the previous two with Angelina and at midnight, Meryn and I stood waving to her from the upstairs window as she made her unsteady way across the Square in search of a taxi home. It had been so much fun she had laughingly asked for weekly reviews instead of bi-monthly ones. Meryn reckoned she had earned a five-percent increase on her deal, and I wasn't about to argue.

Two days later, I nervously found myself in sole charge of the Gallery for the first time. Meryn was off interviewing one of my contacts from the previous week and I was thrilled to rack up a few sales before lunchtime. I was just thinking of where to go for lunch when I saw an elegant, middle-aged lady staring in through the window. She was wearing a lovely white dress with black patterns and a wide-brimmed hat. I prayed without success that she would pass on by as I was bloody starving. My heart sank as the door opened and the bell gave off its merry tinkle. She swept in, removing very large, very ostentatious sunglasses and gazed about her as if she deserved a standing ovation.

Reluctantly I trotted out my now tried and trusted opening gambit. "Hi, welcome to Angelfire. I'm Hannah, just let me know if you need anything."

She more or less blanked me and held up an imperious hand. I watched her as she wandered around the Gallery, barely looking at what was on show. She was around fifty, well-tanned and still very attractive with ash blonde hair spilling out from beneath her hat in all directions. It probably cost a fortune to arrange it like that, but it looked so natural.