Pt. 02: The Stash

Hi, my name is Emma, and this is my story. It has been years since I started this addiction,and I have never been able to quit it. So I started to pen down in a diary on my story, perhaps to provide some form of sanity for myself.

I am a sex addict. This is a secret that I kept for years, being very careful not to let anyone know. I have been diagnosed with hypersexual disorder and porn addiction by my psychiatrist.

It all started when I stumbled on my father's porn stash. My father married my stepmother, when they were matchmade together by our local church pastor. Both of them were single parents with one daughter each. Coincidentally, Riley and I shared the same age, except that I was a few months older than her so she always treated me as her big sister.

So my father passed on early when we were seventeen, after marrying my stepmother for three years. After that, my stepmom would fall into depression and be abusive towards me. It was the year when I recently turned eighteen, when I ran to the attic in an attempt to hide from her, that I stumbled upon a box that was hidden in the far corner. What caught my attention was that the box, though full of dust, had my father's handwriting on it. It said, "Send to Derek". I knew that this box was left here for ages as my stepmother never climbed the attic. She always sends me to clean the attic every year like a "Cinderella-isque" real life story, but I never did a thorough cleaning, not to this corner anyway.

I shifted the box around. It was sealed with tape. I contemplated on whether to open the box as it seems like my father intended to send it to this man named Derek, whoever he is. Out of curiosity, I opened the box, thinking I could just reseal it with tape. The box contained a thumb drive and a small black bullet vibrator (which my innocent mind did not realise at that time). A thumb drive? That's quite suspicious. I waited until I heard my stepmom leave the house before I snaked back to my room with my new findings and plugged in the USB.

Riley and I have separate bedrooms, as my stepmom didn't want my pinkish decor to rub onto her daughter as she deemed it to be childish. I kept my pink room layout as I didn't want to grow out of my childish innocence, which was how my father remembered me. This made me miss my father more, fueling my curiosity to check out the USB's content.

Once I inserted the USB, I opened the drive folder to reveal an application. It has a generic icon, with the filename "yippee.exe". I double clicked the icon and a fullscreen window opened up. My eyes opened up in disbelief as I stared flabbergasted at the screen. A video of a couple appeared in front of me, kissing. They were both clearly naked, apart from the black lacy bra and matching panties which the petite asian lady was wearing. The lady also had black stockings on which made her even sexier. The white man was dominantly french kissing the lady, who returned the kisses passionately, as the camera panned down to her breasts, showing the man's hand roaming under her bra and putting it over her petite mound, pinching her pink nipples with his thumb and index finger.

I knew this was wrong as my pastor preached heavily against pornography, but my eighteen year old mind was not prepared for the initial shock, and the strange warm goosebumps I was feeling. My curiosity and nubile body got the better of me. My nipples became hard as I saw the male lead take her nipples into his mouth and started sucking. The look on the girl's face was one of pure bliss. She closed her eyes and started breathing heavily through her open mouth. With my right hand still frozen on my mouse, my left somehow found my way to my own nipples, pinching them through my braless shirt. It was a weird but sensual feeling that I've never felt before, arousing my sensitive body. I wanted to experience what she was experiencing.

The camera then panned over to the male lead's right hand as he reached over a black device. It was the same device that came with this thumb drive. My right hand instinctively reached for the same device on my desk. The man fumbled with it and suddenly the device vibrated with fervor. I looked over and found an on button and it too came to life. The man then placed the device over the gusset of the lady's black panties, after which the lady started making strange moaning noises. It was so erotic that I wanted to feel what she was feeling. I started to mimic their actions, removing my shorts and placing my vibrator over my own panties until I hit the right spot, right over the gusset. I didn't realise that what I was doing was stimulating my sensitive clit. My face scrunched and the mouth was open as the erotic sensation came all over my body. Something was building up in my body and I wanted to feel it.

The scene took a turn. The male lead, while keeping the vibrator in place, used his left hand to shift her panties to the side, revealing her private parts. I pulled mine aside as well, and now without the fabric in between our parts and the vibrator, she and I began to feel the full load of the vibrations, our bodies covered in perspiration, mouth panting heavily. The pleasure became stronger until I felt close to the point of no return.

Then I was hit by my very first orgasm. I didn't realise what I was feeling then, and my body convulsed involuntarily. My breathing slowed down as I laid back in my chair in my afterglow. I was quite drained as though I did a full cardio session. My thoughts were in a haze, and I vaguely remembered that the female lead also came shortly after. Before I could come to my senses naturally, I was rudely awakened by the sound of the front door opening. Someone was coming home!

I quickly turned off the monitor and speakers and ran out of the room. It was my mom and Riley, who just came back from her multiple enrichment classes. My mom raised her eyebrows at me when she noticed that I was still panting heavily, but before she could question me, Riley pulled me to her room and started telling me how her day was.

The rest of the day was uneventful. We had dinner and there was some small talk. But my thoughts were still at the video that I just saw when clicking the application "yippee". I felt guilty for watching pornography, but my mind wanted to know more. Is this really wrong as my pastor said, when it's so pleasurable?

When the night ended, I raced back into my room and turned back on the monitor. What greeted me was a chat message from the same application. "Hi! I am YIPPEE, Your Individual Personalised Pleasurable Erotic Experience. I am an AI chatbot meant to enhance your erotic experience. Would you like to know more?" I paused for a while, wondering if I should respond, but then clicked on the yes icon as a response.

"Thanks for your response. To better cater to your porn experience, we would like to know you better. Are you a boy or a girl?" I hesitated to reveal more information about myself. But the subliminal video playing in the background was the same video that gave me my orgasm, and I wanted to experience it again. Without giving much thought, I gave up my biodata to YIPPEE, the AI chatbot.

"Thanks for your input. We hope that you'd trust us to give you a personalised erotic experience like no other. You will hear from us soon. Do check into the application within the next 3 days". With that, the application switched to a black screen with a 72 hour countdown timer.

Multiple questions flashed through my mind. What was going on? Why did my father have this thumbdrive? Who was Derek that my father intended to give this thumbdrive to? More questions raced through my head till I noticed a small replay button at the bottom of the page. Clicking on it replayed the same video that I came to, and now without hesitation, I naturally undressed and using my pink headphones, proceeded to masturbate using the vibrator, soaking in her moaning sounds into my own orgasm, unaware that my webcam was secretly recording my shameful act and uploading it to the YIPPEE database...