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Click hereBut he feels something strange between his legs. His face turns pale as he stands up. He pulls down his pants and then his underwear.
His dick falls to the ground and he faints.
Lilith's curse took place just as she said, that a greater punishment will await him. No one could escape the curse on Halloween night. No criminal would go unpunished. And so, Lilith's life would go on, powered by the essence of all men she had sex with and release themselves into her.
The end.
- COMMENTS
MaggieBeckettabout 1 year agoAuthorHey, thank you so much for the feedback! It really helps a lot! I have worked on my grammar, and continue to work at it, since English is not my native language. Just want to mention this was for the halloween contest and didn't have that much time to check the grammar, so it's gonna have a ragged feeling; maybe I'll go through it again sometime in the future and deliver a better version.
But if just a few words have stopped you from reading tho the concept was good, it doesn't make sense to me, tomato potato. I wonder if you'll find a better concept than what I have displayed in here, and with a good grammar, or a more 'natural' feeling; I guess you'll never know since you won't finish it :)
good luck hunting!
jmcharl1over 1 year agoI want to start with the statement that I always appreciate anyone brave enough to write here.
Constructively I would recommend improving the grammar. Either that or this is a translation and it isn’t working (sorry). Anyway, the concept was good but the stilted writing stopped me reading after a page.
Good luck on your future stories
