Punished

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Michelle woke up the next morning, hung over and very disgusted both with herself and with her erstwhile friend. She knew that she and Hunter had both engaged in predatory sexual behavior in the past. She thought her friendship with him gave her some insulation. Quite clearly it had not, and he treated her like he'd treat any other woman.

She blamed herself for being so stupid as to have trusted him. She blamed herself for letting him get her so drunk. She particularly blamed herself because the sex had been pleasurable even though she hadn't wanted it. She knew there was little or nothing she could do. She had allowed him to come in and drank with him. She let herself get in a position where she could not resist him.

Could she go to the police and prosecutors? She could though she suspected that nothing whatsoever would come from it. She had been on the other side of that far too often and knew that things like that were hard to prove in court. She also knew that given her history that too many people would think that she had merely gotten a dose of her own medicine. She got a phone call from Hunter.

"Sorry I left early last night but I had work this morning."

"I'm sorry I even let you come in."

"You know you enjoyed it, bitch."

"Whatever."

"Why don't I come by tonight, and we can have more fun."

"Just stay the fuck away from me."

"I'm sorry I only fucked you once, but we can go longer tonight."

"Don't show up here, ever again."

"Fine, bitch. Have it your way."

"My way is never seeing your ass again - ever."

"If I'd known what a bitch you were going to be, I'd have fucked your ass, too."

Michelle tried to get herself together. She showered, dressed, and went in to work, arriving pretty much on time, even though she was far from 100 percent. She worked at least as hard as ever, perhaps even harder than she normally did, but got more shit from her boss. When she got a break, she sent out more inquiries to possible employers and followed up on what she'd previously done.

Michelle's boss visited her that afternoon. "Since you're a girl now, why aren't you wearing skirts or dresses or more girl clothes?"

"I'm more comfortable in pants suits."

"You ought to be in more feminine attire."

"I'm within the corporate dress code."

"You still should be in skirts."

"There's other women around here dressed the same way I am."

"Those women don't work for me."

"Maybe we should go talk to HR about what I'm wearing."

"You're already on my shit list. Don't push it, bitch."

The boss turned and stomped out of Michelle's office. Michelle sat at her desk and her hands just shook. She knew even more that she needed to find another job. Later her boss called a departmental meeting to make some announcements. Michelle was one of three people in her area in offices, while the rest were in cubicles.

As part of the changes, Michelle would be moving to a cubicle and someone else would get that office. It didn't change her title or salary, but it was clear that it was a demotion of sorts, and reinforced her need to change where she worked. She spent the last hour or so of her day moving out of her office and trying to get settled into a cube.

On the way home, she picked up some food to go. She had no desire to eat out alone as a woman, and no real skill in cooking. Before this, she'd go out with the guys, grab a few drinks and get something to eat, and see what women they could pick up. She no longer wanted to spend any time with her old friends, nor go to her old haunts. She felt like she'd gone from predator to prey.

Some of the women where she worked knew her history too well as a man, and wanted nothing to do with her. Some of the men seemed interested, but those were the men whom she most wanted to avoid. After a few days, Michelle found a very few women who were more open to her. At the end of the week, she was invited to join some of them for drinks.

After everything with Hunter, Michelle was not inclined to drink much. Even though she was with a group of women she watched her drinking carefully and limited her alcohol intake. Overall, it went better than she might have expected, though for some of the women the talk seemed to be of various men they knew, especially men in the office.

There was one woman, who clearly had not heard about what had happened to Michelle who at one point piped up saying that they should all watch out for Michael Wilson, because she'd heard he was a terrible sexual predator. Michelle was rather chagrinned and a few of the women chuckled quietly. One woman leaned over and whispered to that woman, who then turned pale, had a very shocked look, and stared at Michelle.

Michelle decided that was a good time to excuse herself, and said her goodbyes. A few women said she should hang around. The woman who had talked about Michael, sat with her mouth open, staring at Michelle, but said absolutely nothing. Clearly there were still some people who hadn't tied Michael to Michelle. She preferred to stay as far away from her old self as possible.

She continued to send out resumes and online applications for other positions and managed to set up a few interviews. She worked to try to schedule them for lunch period, before work, or after work. She juggled her schedule as best she could. When she was Michael, she could have gotten a lot more flexibility to adjust hours to make time for interviews, but now her boss cut her no slack at all.

The first couple of interviews were cordial, but she could tell they didn't have a serious interest in her. Given her situation, she felt it was best to tell them up front that she was transgender. No, she wasn't traditional trans, but any deep search into her background would show that until recently, she had been Michael, a male.

She couldn't be sure, but it was possible that the knowledge that she was trans affected the interest, or lack thereof, that they had in her. Sad, but much like her current boss, people seemed to have a negative view of people who had changed gender. Mind you, they wouldn't say that was why they lost interest in her. It was far too easy to say they found a better candidate or that she didn't fit the corporate culture.

Michelle was starting to get depressed. Between the crap she was getting from her boss, and the fact that her interviews elsewhere were going so poorly, she was starting to feel trapped in a no win situation. In spite of her qualifications and background, some companies seemed to have no interest in her at all. She suspected some of those had checked her background and rejected her without an interview.

On occasion, she was invited to join other women from her office for drinks, though not all the time. The woman who tried warning others about the male her was never at any of the ones Michelle was invited to. She was starting to feel isolated beyond feeling depressed over her job situation. She wasn't lonely enough to get together with her predatory male friends though.

She was able to get another job interview, though after the previous ones, she went into it not feeling especially confident. Again, she disclosed that she had previously been male, and found herself being interviewed by a woman, Beth, who was not as distant as some of her other interviewers had been, She didn't want to feel too confident, but it was a small plus.

"So you are transgender and used to present as a male."

"Basically, yes."

"We are LGBT friendly here, including being welcoming to trans."

"I appreciate that."

"I realize it's intrusive, and you don't have to answer, but was wondering how far along you are in your transition."

"I'm fully female -- completely."

"So why are you looking to leave your present employer?"

"My boss is very hostile to trans people."

"No job performance issues?"

"When I was seen as male, I was considered a star performer. After I became female, even though I continued to work just as hard, somehow my work was not acceptable."

"Usually transition takes a while, and people can tell what is happening."

"I had an experimental treatment that was non-surgical and very rapid."

"But it was still a complete transition?"

"More than most, and I am fully female."

"That's unheard of."

"As I said, it was experimental, and has not been publicized."

Beth didn't delve any deeper into that, but focused on Michelle's job qualifications. They talked about what Michelle knew, what she did, and how she did it. They actually had some tests they gave her to gauge her competency, and Michelle passed those with flying colors. Beth took Michelle to meet with her boss, Susan.

Michelle and Susan talked for quite some time, much longer than Michelle had expected. The interview seemed to go well, and Michelle had the best feeling that she's had from any of her interviews. After a couple of hours, Beth escorted her out and told her they would be in touch with her in a few days. Michelle had her fingers crossed as she went back to her office. She had been gone longer than expected and Michelle's boss was livid about it.

"I don't know where the hell you've been and I don't care, but I expect your ass in here during your assigned working hours."

"Don't you want to get the fuck rid of me without having to pay severance or unemployment or have issues over my dismissal?"

Her boss just glared at her for a minute. "If you're dismissed it will be for performance issues."

"I was at a job interview. If it goes well, you'll be rid of my ass permanently and at no cost."

"I should be so lucky."

"We should both be so lucky."

"Don't be late like that again, or I'll write your ass up."

Michelle was on pins and needles for a couple of days, before she got a call asking her to come back in where she had interviewed. She scheduled it during a lunch break, and went to find they offered her a job. It was somewhat less money than she was currently making, but she knew she could get by on that salary. They asked how soon she could start and she said she would put in notice immediately. She went back to work and went to see her boss.

"What the fuck do you want now?"

"I found another job. Do you want two weeks notice?"

"No, I want you out of this building now."

After being moved from an office to a cubicle, Michelle had slowly but steadily taken any personal possessions from the place already. That was good because her boss called security and had her escorted out. She was told that any personal effects would be sent to her later. She went back to her new employer and told them she could start just as soon as they wanted. It was Friday afternoon, and they told her to be in there Monday morning.

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Michelle settled into her new job pretty quickly. She busted her ass, since she didn't want any suspicion that her previous work problems had anything to do with performance. Her boss seemed pleased and Michelle seemed to enjoy the atmosphere, where she wasn't continuously under the eye of a disapproving boss.

At her old company, the people seemed to be about 80% male, but at the new place, it was close to an even split between male and female. Some of the men seemed clearly gay, while others seemed to have an interest in her. She also seemed to attract the attention of a few women, though others were obviously far more interested in men.

Near the end of her first week in her new job, Michelle had her first period as a woman. She was quite unused to that, though she knew women had periods and at least a little of what it entailed. She managed to borrow a tampon from another woman, went to the restroom, and fumbled a bit before managing to get it inserted.

She had some cramps and managed to get some pain reliever from another woman. She felt embarrassed by it all and realized she'd have to get more tampons after work, and probably start carrying them with her. Later in the day, she had a meeting with Beth, and after they had covered business, Beth brought up personal matters.

"I know that you said you were trans and that it had left you as a fully functional female, but I was surprised to find you having a period."

"Kind of came as a surprise to me too, obviously."

"Most trans women don't have periods -- at least not periods with menstruation."

"I have ovaries and a uterus. That's what they told me anyhow."

"So it would seem. So was this the first period since your 'treatment'?"

"Yeah, so I guess I can look forward to years of this."

"Unless you get pregnant."

"Hell, no. I don't want anything to do with men."

"I guess that explains why you dress and look more butch than most trans women."

"My transition is complicated and I don't really want to get into it."

"No problem, I'll let you get back to work then."

"Okay."

"You've been doing a super job so far, by the way."

"Thanks, and I really appreciate you giving me the opportunity."

She settled into her new job and new company and found herself feeling quite at home there. Some of the folks had been cool at the start, but warmed up to her as things went along. Beth's boss, Susan also made a point of complimenting her job performance. The following Friday, late in the day, Michelle was talking with one of the other women in the office.

"Several of us are going out for drinks after work."

Michelle had been leery of setting foot in a bar since she'd become a woman. "I don't drink a lot."

"What, if anything, you drink is up to you, but it is a place that caters almost exclusively to women."

"That certainly wouldn't be a problem for me."

"To be fair, you might attract the attention of some of the other female patrons."

"I feel pretty sure I don't want to go home with anyone."

"You can if you want, and that wouldn't bother any of us, but you don't have to."

So Michelle joined them at a club that she never knew existed. There were a very few men there, but not many, and they either worked there or were accompanied by women. There were a variety of women, from those who were hard to distinguish from men to those who looked quite feminine. There were several who in the old days, she would have been quite interested in.

Michelle had a very few drinks, hanging mostly with the women from her office. A few women asked Michelle to dance, and she did, though she didn't ask anyone else to dance. They mostly did fast dances, not that Michelle would have objected to slow dancing with some of them. Still most of the women didn't really tempt her.

There were a few women who did tempt her, including one brunette with shoulder length hair. She dressed rather feminine and had a moderate chest, a nicely shaped ass, and a cute face. Their eyes met, and the woman smiled at Michelle. Michelle was tempted to ask the woman to dance, but was somewhat hesitant.

As a man, Michael had been confident and self assured. He did well with women and had no hesitation about approaching any woman who interested him. As Michelle, she found that had changed. She didn't feel that confidence or self assurance. Back then, it was to some degree predation, and Michael was a consummate predator. Michelle was no predator and wasn't sure how to handle a normal relationship.

In spite of her attraction to the brunette, Michelle did nothing. After a few drinks, she went home alone, picking up takeout food on the way. She ate her dinner and wondered just how she should express her interest in another woman. Some of the women at the club met people who they were already involved with, while others seemed to hook up with women who they knew. There didn't seem to be much where they didn't know each other, though she knew that must happen too.

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A few days later, on her break, Michelle went to a coffee shop not far from her office. She had placed her order and was waiting for it, when she saw the brunette from the club walk in. Michelle was startled, but quickly recovered and smiled at the woman, who smiled back as she went to order. About that time Michelle's order was ready. She'd normally just head back to the office, but she waited.

Michelle heard the brunette give her name as Renee to the clerk for her order. When she did, Renee looked at Michelle to see if she had noticed. Michelle stood there, as Renee paid for her coffee, then looked at her again and smiled. Michelle had never been shy as a guy, but felt that way now. Still she overcame that shyness to walk up to Renee.

"I think I saw you at the club the other night. My name is Michelle."

Renee had a warm smile as she replied. "Nice to meet you, Michelle. I'm Renee."

"I'm sorry we didn't get a chance to talk the other night."

"You were with your friends and I was with mine."

"Do you go there often?"

"Occasionally, but I've never seen you there before."

"That was my first time going any place like that."

"It sounds like you have some reservations about going back."

"No, I'd like to go back, particularly if you're there."

About that time Renee's coffee was ready. She grabbed it and steered Michelle to a small table in the corner. Michelle was surprised at herself. As Michael, she'd have had a very glib line and have been already trying to talk Renee into a date. At least she'd made some sort of move, and apparently found it pretty well received.

"Is it fair to assume you are new to that scene?"

"Yeah. I like women, I just..."

"I'm guessing you work nearby."

"At Browne & Co, I just started a few weeks ago."

"And what does Michelle do there?"

"I'm a financial analyst. What do you do, Renee?"

"I'm an accounting manager nearby."

"Do you come here often?"

"I thought that was a starting pickup line."

"I'll try to do better next time."

"Well, I need to get back and check on the kids."

"The kids?"

"My folks are generally good, but sometimes act more like children."

"I probably should get back too. My break is about over."

"Maybe we'll run into each other again soon."

Renee gave Michelle a smile that made her heart flutter, then got up and walked briskly out of the coffee shop. Michelle took a few seconds to catch her breath, then got up and realized she had not gotten a last name or phone number from Renee. She was clearly off what would have been her game as Michael.

As she thought about it, she realized that as Michelle, she didn't have a game. She also realized that the games that Michael played were not games she wanted to continue to play. That gave her pause and left her wondering what it was that she really wanted. As Michael, she went for a long string of hookups, many consenting, and others not so much.

That no longer seemed to hold the thrill it had just a few months earlier. Was there such a thing as true love? Was that something she could even find? After what she had been through, could she even recognize it if she found it? She was drawn to Renee, though in truth she knew she would have been drawn to her even as Michael.

What did she want from Renee? Would Renee even be interested in something more serious? For all Michelle knew, Renee might only be looking for a hookup. Michelle knew that her nights now seemed very lonely and that she wanted something more than someone to warm her bed for a few hours. Sure there were other attractive women at the club, and even in the world at large, but there seemed to be something special about Renee.

Was she just projecting? Had her isolation driven her to think Renee could be more, when that was patently false? Michelle spent a few evenings pondering over it, and wishing she'd gotten Renee's phone number. Michelle went to the coffee shop regularly during the day, yet never seemed to run into Renee there.