All Comments on 'Quaranteam - Team Tim Ch. 07'

Great! Sorry, was worried that the 6 was it. Glad it wasn't. Stay safe, COVID is still around. Sounds as if you are from North of Greater London. I'm retired US Army, and was stationed in Cheshire for 4 years. Best duty station of my life.

Great story with a different approach to the Quaranteam universe. Really enjoy all the authors taking a different view in their stories.

Please continue as I really enjoying it.

Just my two quatloos, but stop with the "metric (imperial conversion)" thing. The story takes place in England (and I'm guessing you're English as well), so just use metric. Those of us "uncivilized barbarians" that still slog along with imperial can look up the conversation ourselves if we feel the need. While I'm sure you're just trying to be helpful, it almost feels a bit condescending. Either way, I'm enjoying the story and look forward to more of it.

This is very well written. I've been reading SciFi since the mid 1950s, and this compares very favorably with the classics like "Stranger in a Strange Land" (Heinlein), or any of the "I, Robot" series (Azimov). I am eagerly looking forward to reading more....

Just binged these two sections of your tale. Fits in well with the Quaranteam Universe with enough difference in the details to make it intellectually intriguing and to not clash with the logic of the original.

Feels believable and the improvisations feel very British. The political introduction also feels spot on.

Thanks.

Let's see how this team develops!

Definitely 5 star. But I agree with Frethnor. Don't need the metric conversions. But I did learn I should be expressing my height as 2.02 meters and not 202 cm. 80½ inches in imperial. Or English as I was taught. I was also starting to worry you would be a one hit wonder as we call someone who vanishes after one song or story. Glad you are in it for the long haul.

I still wear my mask. I hope you do too. It's a minor precaution.

This is developing well. I like the character development a lot with so many new characters.

I like the setting and the context, but there just isn't a lot of emotion... At this point it feels like mostly info-dump, as if I'm reading a well-written Wiki article. There are lots of Little moments that could be zoomed in on to get a better feel for character ... Ie, I'd like more reaction/context/introspection from the first introduction of the pairing requirements to Tim and Siobhan. Or even more of their original quarantine romance.

Ashley's revelations left Tim "at a loss".... Was he said? Angry? Horrified? Why didn't he tell Siobhan and commiserate?

Irregardless of my critique, I appreciate you adding to the Quaranteam universe, and I'm excited about your story.

Thank you!

I like the setup but also agree with others that some more emotions and details would be appreciated. Maybe instead of just writing that Tim looked into her eye, you could go deeper and describe how her face looked, how it changed as he thrust into her, how she reacted to him following her instructions and pleadings, etc. As this will be a long series I am hoping you will keep going and offer more details for your readers to connect deeply with the characters as Devin McTaggert does in his episodes

As an aging Yank, I have no problem with the dual heights as a courtesy but it really does not impact reading the story either way. Tim not interested in anal is probably due to the worry that the stick up his ass will get dislodged. You are about to have sex with your horny woman and you fold your clothes? You might consider a character page that is available to refresh memory as the series progresses and expands. I too would appreciate a bit more emotion and description with potential and actual team members. Will Lakshmi or Helen be requested? Siobhan's sister or the maid in Portugal? Will Maria develop desires and undergo healing? This storyline incorporates pregnancy planning more than others. I am enjoying this slice of the QT planet and look forward to many more entries!

I really enjoyed your writing and the unique perspective you bring to the QT universe. Anxiously awaiting the next installment !

While a bit better than your first submission, I still felt like the emotive part of the story is falling flat. You just keep losing me in your dialogue, like everyone is just reciting their lines in a monotone voice, devoid of any discernable emotion.

For example, when Tim was listening to the horrendous ordeal that Ashley was forced to endure growing up, he just sat there like a robot, like she was talking about the weather instead of pedophilia and rape. There should have been mention of his reactions as she revealed her past... compassion, shock, eyes growing moist with tears at what she had to go through... Instead, he listens passively then hugs her and, while he tells her she's now safe, there is again no emotion evident....from him or her. Now, she may just be traumatized and has locked up her emotions as a defense mechanism to cope, but Tim should have had some reaction in the moment to convey that he is human and not some emotionless automaton.

At the end of the day though, its your story and I'm just one of many readers, so take my feedback as you will. But I think this may be one QT series I pass on.

@Mehtalituly: I agree 100%.

The characters feel like they are reading their lines. Dull, flat, monotonous

And the excruciating detail about cars, china, school locations etc etc. Verbiage is garbiage. Too much filler. Too little story

Replying to JohnSimms from 23 days ago and others. The character of Tim, there are a few people in other countries such as the United Kingdom (and set in England) who don't like or want to do Anal sex, male or female. In the country you are from, Anal is very common and so are blow jobs (in some stories all the women giving Bj's have orgasm's without being touched?!!) but doesn't necessarily mean that other countries, other people are into the same as you or have the same views. As for folding up his clothes before sex is quite true, some men and women do that in other cultures. This is realistic for the character and the story and unlike some countries, some people have a more reserved nature and don't go overboard on emotions like most of Lit stories, or have very little plot and repetitive sex which to be frank gets tedious and boring (she gives him a blow job, he has a large thick penis. He is handsome, tall and buff. He might do oral on her and she has big breasts, small waist and large hips and petite or is athletic. She has a pretty/cute pussy (genitals) They have sex in multiple positions, multiple times and places and end up having anal, have many orgasm's to everything. Rinse and repeat...) I have read some truly awful stories on Lit, always set in the same country and just sex and no plot to speak of, or an Author writes about another culture/country and it's historical. Apart from never visiting that culture/country or knowing about their history. I thought 1 story by the way the main character spoke (in writing) was set in the deep south in the 1900's, Turned out it was set in Scotland in the 1600's!! Nobody in Scotland spoke like that, the historical information completely wrong as in eating cheese, grapes, strawberries and drinking wine? Wearing plaid and having a huge castle? No mention of Clan's?!! I laughed through the story, like they would know about the g spot and Clitoris!! And I am Scottish and live there!! (No mention of having battles with the English!!) So a story by an English author who captures some of the English so well, is refreshing and honest. If you don't like it, Nobody is forcing you to read it. So go back to the stories you like, stop whinging about these stories that Some of us like, appreciate and prefer!! Eile.(Scotland)