Queendom 07: Swordsmaid

Bella curled up on the stone floor, like a new-born, weeping. She hated the cold, but knew it paled as punishment for what she did. She could barely move, the joints still shaking involuntarily. She somehow managed to stand up, and wrap an old shift around her, like a blanket. And sat back down, her back against the wooden door.

There was a single beam of moon-light, leaking in through a crack in the ceiling. May be it was the adrenaline, the fear, or the light-headedness playing tricks in her mind.. For a moment she saw in that beam, through the blur of her tears, the shape of her Queen staring down. She remembered the look, from that fateful morning. In the barn, where she had found Her Majesty. Her divine naked form, slipping back into the royal garb, that gaze still fuming at her failed employee. Her body riddled with marks of a long, hard night. Yet her spirit, every bit regal, unbroken.

Her Queen. Her employer. Her friend.

Bella whispered the thought, that troubled her ever since.

"Elanor! How are you still standing?!"

**

*

Closing back her extended arms, concluding the chants, Elanor prostrated herself in prayer, her lips chanting all the while. Rising back to her feet she slowly approached the rostrum, and flipped the pages of the Holy Writ at random, letting fate tell her what she must. With the page selected, the Queen roamed her fingers freely, her eyes closed the whole time, till she felt stopping. Opening her eyes, she read.

Writ of Yenizka, Verses 06:01

'Straying is inevitable, but the way back will find us all. It may fail to be the absolute complement, but you'll surely find in it, a confidant. Walk along the dark corridors gallantly, as the moon melts, showering you with bliss. Soon you shall find your confidant.'

That is strange. She remembered reading it before. Months before. Might have been one of her very first visits since the fateful day. Or might have been the day, when she finally opened up to Father Benedictus.

"Is that what you say now, Fate.? Fair enough. Now, will you elaborate as to what to make of it..?" Elanor whispered smiling, as she re-read the verse. She did not take these rituals lightly.

"Who's there?.. Her Highness, is that you.??"

Her eyes squinted in irritation. That voice.. Bishop Benedictus! Elanor had planned on leaving early without meeting the priest. She had been avoiding him for weeks now. The days weren't progressing well, and when the prayers poured out, she lost all track of time. Turning around, she bowed in respect.

"His Eminence.. Father Benedictus, it's Nora."

"Highness, I had no idea you'd be in so late.. I hope these are good days.."

His eyes. He had been waiting for such a chance meet, Elanor could tell. He wants to talk. Of the Horse Whisperer, no doubt. Queen closed the Holy writ, saying.

"Tell me what you must, Father. I'm all ears.."

The High Priest wasted no time. He made a case for Bellatrix, not justifying the errors, not that he had known it in any detail, but essentially asking for a second chance. As he put it, isn't that the whole point of prayer, To forgive, to repent. To grow past where we erred in arrogance.

Elanor didn't face the priest the whole time, but she listened intently. It surprised her, at how little a push-back she felt, from her wounded ego. Her recovering sense of self. It was hard to deny, as much as it troubled her, the resultant emotion of her dreams of late, was a sense of deep relief. Leaving her happily exhausted, though a bit morally ambiguous. It was one of those things that flew against reason. Maybe something only Bella could have explained.

As Benedictus kept talking, Elanor's gaze remained fixed at the shrine. She asked out of the blue, in an almost mumble.

"You think he still listens in, Father.?"

"Sorry daughter..?!" The Bishop stepped closer, wondering what she meant.

"... Could you remind me once, how you start your daily sermons.?" She sounded so calm. Benedictus answered, bowing to the altar.

"Hmm.. Dearly beloved men and maidens... We unite in the fresh light of faith, calling to the compassionate ears of our Almighty! The keeper of all things order, the articulator of all that is known! The Mighty All-father!!"

"He who listens to us all..?" Elanor said the next part, and the Bishop continued.

"He who fulfills our prayers, in silence.."

"In silence, hmm..? It always fascinated me, Father, you never fail to mention it each time. He who answers in silence.!!.. Tell me please, is there someone so blessed to have heard his sweet voice.?"

Angry at God himself, huh? Nothing the priest hadn't seen before, so he answered with a practiced smile.

"You know dear. His eternal Mistress! His constant conversant. The chaos personified! She who is referred to as Fate.!"

"Fate is so wondrous don't you think..?!" The Queen asked as she stepped up, and started lighting the candles alongside. "Fate made you bring me Lady Agrafena. Do you remember the first time I asked for your assistance..?"

"Yes, my child.."

"Oh, you do..?! That's interesting father, because I thought exactly the same." Elanor glanced at him once, and continued. "But then I recalled what actually happened. Many months ago.. I used to frequent the church, almost every other day. A gesture befitting a nun, though not so much a Queen, I admit. And sensing the rot in my soul, that burning hole, you approached."

That is true. The Bishop nodded, though it never occurred to him that he was being intrusive. Just helping one of God's children, as always. Elanor continued.

"And the third time, thinking its God or Fate or the powers that be, are finally talking through you, I confided in you what no woman must confide. Because I was at the very end of the rope. Because.. I honestly believed God to respond, through you. And you sends my way, Bella.!!"

"We are all part of his plan, daughter. After all, who are we to question the Mighty All-father's will..?"

Elanor shook her head, her lip sealed wide. Looking up at the altar she asked.

"The Mighty All-father, the mighty all-father.. Why do you insist every time, in calling him in full..??! Why not just address him as simply God?"

"You know why, my child.. Because this is his tabernacle. And in where he dwells, one must be called by the proper name."

"Precisely.!" Her tone shifted suddenly, and Benedictus realized he had been reading her wrong the whole time.

"I don't understand my child.."

Elanor looked back at the baffled Bishop, as she replied.

"It's been a common occurrence lately, Father. Miscommunications.. misconceptions.. Be it the Archminister, be it General Scarlin, be it Bellatrix.. Even you. People just don't seem to get my point. And I'm thinking, maybe it's me who had erred. Maybe I should speak clearly."

As he listened, she turned to the shrine, while continuing to talk.

"I came to his abode, Father, not yours. I'm here for his ear, the All-father himself..! I ask of him, every time, to put in a word. To his consort. To make Her Holiness Fate smile back at me. So she may return, what was once brutally taken. My absolute belonging.. To take me back to his embrace. And no.. I do not believe, it would be too much for her."

Barthomius..! The priest held on to the church bench, feeling his balance a little off. Elanor turned again, now facing the man of God.

"Him, Father. It had always been him. Hanging on to this throne, putting Wolkenshire above all... Not just the Lordships, but in whole, even the forsaken underbellies of rot. All for him, without rest, day and night. For his dream.. So that one day I may return the throne.."

"My Queen..! Do you realize what you are.."

Benedictus stopped himself. Not the right tone. Not for the grieving.. He sat on the pew, hoping she'd do the same, as he spoke.

"You know my child, that my heart bleeds for you both, but this.. I must tell, this is denial. One that has cruelly over-stayed. It isn't proper to pray, to sate one's denial. What's taken is taken, tragic as it is. And to stay in denial, for so long.. It's not healthy, it will carve you up from the inside.."

The Queen understood, but didn't agree. Standing still, she replied.

"I'm not in denial Father. I know he's.. He was taken from me, and I know it'd be foolish to stay expectant. For a hope that's so beyond... But I'm not asking mere mortals, am I? I'm asking the Mighty All-father himself.! Begging, in his abode. Not for health, not for riches. But for the blessings of his Eternal Mistress. For her to smile my way.."

"Still, daughter.." His words stopped as he met her gaze. It was different this time. Way more intense, way more potent.

"I'm not in denial, Father. If anything, I'm in prayer! And I don't think it's proper of you, to question my faith.!"

Elanor didn't wait for a reply. She swiftly bowed him farewell, and walked away, leaving the Bishop in deep turmoil. It's not like he had a proper response anyhow.

It was a rough ride back home. As much as she gripped on to her faith, her mind swirled lacking a sure-footing. It didn't get better by the night.

Sleep wasn't kind to her.

Even dreams bailed.

**

*

Pete stopped on his tracks by the fence, and bowed in fear of the Almighty God, as the black garbed man walked past, blessing him. He couldn't help but wonder. What the hell is a priest doing here?

Bella was in the middle of feeding the herd, her usual calming routine, when the man walked into her stables.

"Clergyman..! Good day sir.. I wasn't expecting guests, so.." She wasn't actually. She knew Brother Ishikawa had been asking about her. Just didn't expect him to take the trouble, to come all this way to her humble abode.

"Good day, Lady Agrafena. I've been to the Palace to meet you."

"Oh! I had been on leave.."

"For quite a while.. Yes, yes. I've heard so. In fact, I had been to the Palace a few times this month. So I know, how long you've been laying low.."

"Anything in particular, Clergyman..?" Bella had no doubt what this visit was regarding. She had mentioned about her taking a break to Father Benedictus.

"I take it that Sir Ancelot didn't work out.." The Clergyman wasted no time.

"Ancelot had a hiccup. Had to go with the original, Sir Belkin himself." Her voice was cold. Like she'd rather not talk any further.

"Oh, that's unfortunate. And explains it all well.." Ishikawa scratched his forehead.

"An understatement, Brother Ishikawa.! And it's on me." Bella moved on to the next one in the stable, exhaling deeply. The Clergyman said, walking by her side.

"This isn't an attempt to shift the blame. His methods were quite inhuman, Sir Belkin's.. Pioneering, in many ways. But like all first steps, riddled with trouble.. They abandoned his program for good reason, following his retirement. I specified Ancelot because, he's.. Well, his interests are more scientific.. Psychological, rather than sadism. A stark contrast to the current Calthean model. He takes into account the needs of even the domesticated.. It must weigh heavy on you, the responsibility. Well, I certainly am not denying mine. Not that I have a clue, who it is you were actually working for.. Still, should I speak to someone for you, my child? Did something untoward happen.?"

"It's alright, Clergyman. It's on me."

It didn't seem comfortable disclosing, so she kept it very vague. Not even hinting the true severity of what happened. Bellatrix leaned back, her spine comfortably resting on the bundle of hay behind.

"It's time you got back, Bella. Five weeks is pushing it, don't you think..?"

Bella stayed indifferent. Her gaze fixed, yet unfocused, on the slow-sliding clouds. There was a moment of awkward silence, then he walked up, and sat a few feet besides her.

Ishikawa said, with his sagely smile intact.

"Kid, I know you see me as a big old creep, and I don't blame you. But I have never laid, even my breath, upon an unconsenting maiden. And I mean it in the deepest sense. It takes genuine consent for me to engage. Not just in contract, but a consent from sound mind, from the depth of her femininity. And paradoxically, I learnt at great cost.. There is an aspect of the feminine lust that requires.. demands, even craves.. an implied brute extraction."

Bellatrix kept her eyes fixed on the cloud, without a blink. She didn't understand why it suddenly started welling up though. She listened, as Ishikawa continued.

"I know it sounds bizarre.. See, I don't mean it fits every woman, my methods.. Nor every mood of hers. But what I say is what I know. I've seen it done wrongly enough times, by all my sadistic predecessors, as great as they were.. To develop a sense, as to know when to stop. To recognize an absolute demarcation. Even worse, I've seen enough sadism, to know what shades of it could awaken the strictly licentious motif. Even if I don't subscribe to blatant sadism."

Ishikawa leaned forward, his hands resting on the railings, eyes lost on the clouds, same as Bella.

"Yet, I'm stuck with that fact.. Of the feminine craving, to be marinated in shame.. It's not the truth I wanted, nor hoped.. But what I observed. And believe me, it isn't the lust that drives me either, but the psychology behind the reluctantly willing. The way nurture bows to nature, shame submits to lust, as hard as they try and endure.. You, of all people should understand this, the mighty Horse Whisperer..!"

Bella exhaled deeply, her right hand cupping her forehead, hiding her eyes. She said in a low nasal voice.

"Forgive me, Sensei.."

"What was that..?" Ishikawa almost felt like he heard it wrong. Bellatrix glanced at him, her eyes never been more tired, yet undeniably smiling.

"Sensei. Isn't that the right honorific? I have been wrong a lot last week, and for most part of this strange endeavor. What more, from the moment we met, I've been wrong about you. Judging you, using you almost.. Forgive me, for that.. I just can't shake this feeling, that if only things were different.. If only time would turn back.. It'd have been such a pleasure of mine, to learn, to listen more to you.."

Ishikawa sat there still, his sagely smile intact. She's healing up good, he realized. Just needs a little peace. And in that, the breeze helped. Taking away the weight of the moment in its caresses..

As they both watched the clouds in silence.

**

*

Rules of the Dojo

The morning wasn't so great for the Queen, but she made the best of it. The night before she had an emergency signing, for the deployment of Citizen Guards. The majority of the standing army had been send to quell the skirmishes at the Noxtran border. But General Scarlin informed that a sect of the herdsmen tribe was planning on protests at the city-square. The herdsmen were notoriously short-tempered, so it would be wise to stay prepared for the worst. Queen wasn't too keen on forcing retired brave men back to duty, but she didn't want to say no to Scarlin. Besides, he was right.

Being away spared her of court duties, but she busied herself familiarizing the fine-prints of her upcoming rulings, discussing the same with her ministers. She will need the Archminister's support for it to pass, such was the nature of the rulings. Elanor decided to return to the palace right away. It was high-time she stopped running. At her behest, Grinwald joined in on her carriage ride, back to the Royal Castle.

"Something about this just doesn't feel right with me, Minister Grinwald."

"You mean the cracking down of Blue poppy, Highness?"

It's that glimpse into the medicine that Elanor had, when Jezeb blew in the intoxicating fumes down her throat, that made the Queen rethink her position. From all that had been reported, she expected to feel nauseated, to have her head spin, and to move on to a delusional trip. But instead, the drug helped her think peacefully for the first time in that hectic night. Has it not been for that single puff, she surely wouldn't have breezed through what was an absolute nightmare.

Was it a lack of understanding? Was it the irresponsibility of an addictive minority that's ruining it for the rest of them.? The Queen knew she was missing something.

"Puritanical approaches seldom work, Minister. And when it does, it's often unjustly taxing. I don't think criminalization and banning is the right path, especially for a drug like Blue Poppy, which had proven medicinal value."

Grinwald shook his head.

"Her Highness, I'm aware the young blue-bloods tend to have a soft take on altered states. I've heard plenty of stories about Princess Veramour's wild party habits. But this isn't about the psychedelic curiosity of the wealthy lot, this is a matter of public health. About a dangerously addictive substance that could potentially sedate our youth to ruination. And I find the literature on medicinal application highly questionable.."

Elanor didn't delve into that snide remark on her sister. Instead she focused on her concerns.

"There are other ways to prevent its widespread usage. Besides, what worries me more are the lateral consequences. When we banned the local farming, it got smuggled from the neighboring kingdoms. When we cut off the supply chains, it tempted the bad actors to step in; like Noxtrans, even Orcans. With increased demand, and boosted black-market auctions, it's a disaster on all ends."

"Add to it, the addicts of Wolkenshire directly funding the war efforts of the orcs, buying at twice the market price.. You may be worried about harmful effects, Minister, of a single drug. And rightfully so. But my concerns are far greater. Regarding the precedence we put in place."

Grinwald listened in disagreement, yet impressed by the Queen's thoughtfulness. Compared to the usual Lords and Barons barely capable of understanding the intricacies of statecraft, these discussions were a pleasant breath of fresh air. The Queen continued.

"Blue poppy is just a place-holder. A flavor of the day. My concerns are the black-market trade relations it enables, between bad actors among us, and the Orcans. The relationships that will grow in all the wrong ways. From selling us intoxicants, to exotic animals, to weapons and mercenaries. Compared to which, the home-grown intoxicants were a much manageable problem. So you are right, Minister Grinwald. I'm taking out the option to outright banning. It won't lead anywhere good, not in the long run."

"My Queen, we're here." Said the coach-man.

"Give us a moment.." The Queen shifted her attention back to Grinwald.

"I've a meeting here, so you proceed Archminister. We'll continue this discussion another time. Hmm.. Before we leave, tell me Grinwald. What's your opinion on.. what was that again.?? The Cultists of Sword.?! Are they an actual threat as the recent intel suggests?"

"I believe you are confusing the 'Cultus de Peganus' with the 'Order of Sword'. Highness is too young, and I do not blame. Even I get those confused myself."

"No you don't. But you are kind. Please do tell, Archminister." Elanor replied with a simple smile. She didn't mistake the two. She just knew the old man loved showing off his knowledge.

"Cultus is a secret society, with pagan routes, its members a select few, and surely of immense power and influence. They like to stay in the shadows, engaging in questionable pagan rituals, and the likes. But they hadn't held significant political power in ages. So no, I wouldn't call them a threat."

Elanor leaned in. She had no interest in the Pagans of the past, or what how they chose to indulge in the dark, yet. Her concern was the Order of Sword. Grinwald continued.

"But I would worry about the Order though. They have a history of extreme-activism, though had gotten toothless over the years. The potential is there. I wouldn't recommend an intervention, but basic surveillance is advised. Which I believe is General Scarlin's position as well."