All Comments on 'Rally Weekend Ch. 04'

Why so sort when you could wrap it up, you are not building tension merely dragging it out and letting it become boring chuck shit. No it's not chuck shit yet but we are expecting it from the tone and direction. It would be great if you gave him a set of ball and he gets revenge and satisfaction but we all know he's going to go easy on the slut wife and friend. Hay ho we can only hope.

Promising beginning, then two chapters of nothing. I'm out. Not even curious about this anymore.

Why bother "thanking" people for their constructive criticism when you clearly don't take it to heart? You're still doing the same old crap; taking a few paragraphs worth of actual substantive content and padding it out into two pages.

For all the words you wrote here, what actually happened? What progress has been made in the plot? The husband finds out that Mike isn't such a bad guy, he discovers his wife may now be part of some borderline torture porn outfit, and then finds her passed out in a puddle of her own sick and rushes her to the hospital. The entirety of this chapter, summed up in once sentence, and it really doesn't deserve much more than that for how boring it is.

The only thing that even slightly interested me was that bit about some incident 15 years prior where the wife likely got drunk and cheated. But even that is mentioned only in passing, and seems to have only been put there to show that the wife's behavior isn't exactly an isolated incident.

This style of yours, combined with the total lack of emotion from every character in the story, makes this whole thing a chore to read through. At least for me it does. None of the characters care, and the author himself doesn't seem to care, so why should I care?

2.5 stars, rounded down to 2 because I'm more bored now than I was when I clicked on the damn story.

first episode shit is winding down, and final episode shit is coming up to speed

we get it

Now let's see some fucking nuclear options start to happen

someone needs to dearly, so make it happen all fucking ready

The ubiquitous armed forces trope coupled with a pair of cheating wives. Gosh, that is just so typical, right? I mean, women the whole world over can't wait to cheat on their husbands for absolutely no reason at all. Yeah, that's totally believable.

You should end the story with a surprise nuclear attack by North Korea.

her own vomit. Don't see anything even remotely redeemable in her. If she truly has been cheating for the entire marriage need a DNA test run ASAP. As for the comment about all wives just waiting to cheat, well in the Loving Wives section they are. Please remember the category. Anyhow, she should have been taken to the hospital where she works, better care in a place where the employees know you. The probably all had an idea about her anyhow. Women, especially nurses, are very good at intuitive discernment. Besides, sometimes takes one to spot one and in a place that has that many women working bound to be a loose one or two there. I think the writing is improving with each section submitted so keep em coming.

Should've either let here drown in own vomit or, brought her to the hospital she works at; screw her feelings in the matter at this point. Let her deal with the consequences she brought it upon herself. Although, funny ting about some hospitals; if in close proximity they sometimes share information and on rare occasions staffing to save on budgets & HIPPA law becomes more of a guideline. More than likely a doctor or nurse would recognize her and information would get back to her place of work.

... and I would never have believed that possible. So, yet again when hubby has definitive knowledge that his wife is in danger, he does absolutely nothing to help her. Your characters are imploding. They become less likeable (all of them) with each new chapter. You've even managed to turn Mike, formerly a tough biker dude, into a sniveling wimp!

Way way too long & drawn out. You've taken 4 chapters to get here when a good writer would have managed in 2; length of story doesn't = better quality. For Pete's sake finish the bloody thing, it's getting boring & irritating. You got a lucky 3 ***

What he said about Mike: "he was not so sharp in school, his step-dad called him "big, dumb, and good with a gun.", could be applied to him too! All those married years and even with all the clues there, he didn't ever had a small suspicion? Really? The banker dumped his whore fast! He understood what had happened in that boat...

As some comment said, the characters seem to change with the wind...Adding to all this, why didn't he took her to the near hospital? Why all that consideration? why not just call an ambulance and made them take care of her? He is going to divorce her Isn't he?...She was immersed in shit, by her own fault and cheating actions...Thinking in part 5: Does he wants to hear her version? For what? To face more lies from her? He saw it all with his own eyes...The only interesting point remaing is: what will happen to her whore friend? Will he forget about her, and let her keep destroying lives? 2*

It could be dumber, maybe, but not by much. Whatever compulsion there was to understand the story is displaced by the bizarre style and irrelevance of the detail. Its all a badly written newspaper report about what he did, what he didn't do, against his backdrop of Blizzards and shopping for camo jackets and recollections confirming what a clueless fool he is.

When I saw the Rally Weekend title I remembered there was some other story I read awhile back with a similar title. Then it dawned on me, maybe this was a continuation of the same story? I thought maybe it had already ended! Beginning, end, middle, its all the same. I saw that part 5 is coming. What for?

No it is not pretty terrible, it is terrible.

Please learn how to write before posting any more. The story is frenetic and disjointed. There is not one redeeming feature.

Start to read stories written by the good authors on this site or good books. You regrettably have a very long way to go.

Needs serious help. He has a wife who is willing to have fun, flash her tits, and fuck, and he goes fishing? Seriously? My sympathies are all with the wife. Yeah, she went too far, but with an idiot prude for a husband, I'm not surprised. He preferred to ignore the trip to the cove instead of getting with the program. Yeah, they need a divorce, but not because of her. They should have divorced years ago, when he proved he was too prudish and dumb to enjoy life with a swinger wife.

addicted to alcohol and probably drugs, and now probably infected with several things including HIV, instead of short segments get a real chapter and wrap this up.

You are constantly trying to build out excuses for everyone here. No anger, no real sadness, forgiveness for Mike? Really? This story is just turning into total mush.

It's like I'm sitting at a bar next to a guy that's three sheets to the wind. He decides to tell me his problems. It seems he's told them so many times he's devoid of emotion, yet he needs to tell the story. He's one of those guys that goes into too much unneeded detail and is easily sidetracked, so the story, with some interesting parts, gets bogged down in the telling. The problem is the guy has me wondering what happened next, as sordid and unlikely as it all is. I feel like just slapping him a little to sober him up and get him on track to tell me what happened before the bar closes and I go home!

The Story's Over!.... The author (?) just doesn't seem to know it.

This is a sex site for sex stories not a lit group of old angry ladies.

To many readers have such high expectations from the amateur writers.

Write your own stories if you can do better.This is a good story.

Seems he had a groundhog day. Aside from that, the story is okay. Agree with hdk that there is a bit of wandering in the telling, and I feel like he would get a little more emotionally affected by his wife's actions. Maybe that's just who he is, and the reason his wife hid her wild side from him all those years. Dunno, but can't wait to read the end of the train wreck that has become his life.

A real dud..

Good story.

Lloyd should not have pulled any punches. He should have told his son what his tramp mother was up to, or sent Mike's video. He also should have called 911 to take her to the nearest hospital (where people know her), and called the cops to clear the house (not knowing whether they have her keys). Lloyd needs a locksmith to change every exterior access, and to change garage door opener access codes.

Vicky doesn't deserve access to the house (yet). It's not scorched earth, he needs to protect himself until all the issues become clear. Vicky shouldn't be allowed back unless she's willing to fully disclose everything from years past, and take responsibility- including explaining to their kids.

yes keep it coming and i agree he should of told his son what a slut his mom is

if people don't like the story why are they reading it seems they keep coming back keep up the good work we will wait for the negative people to write their stories

This should have been one long story. The segments are too short

I forgot about the party cove at lake of the ozarks. Yes it was great fun and you decribed what went on there well. Too bad the authorities caught wind and cleaned it up.

Keep writing enjoying it

Coming in small parts but i'm still interested. look forward to the next chapter

I have nothing against forgiveness but her actions are way to over the top for that. hope your not heading that way.

Most of the parts are too short.

Pretty gross but still tracking.

Don't see the marriage surviving but still curious.

Thanks for letting us know that there will be part 5 but, please take your time and give us more of the story and tidy up some of the loose threads. It seems like all four parts so far have story lines still dangling. Depending on how you bring the story lines together this could be a very good story or it could fade away.

I think i would have been happier if your main character would have been more vindictive and taken his wife to her own hospital. I'm actually hoping she was tattooed by the biker gang and he decides on a scorched earth policy on both his wife and her girlfriend. I'll be watching for the next chapter. Thanks.

I'm enjoying this one. There may be some loose ends but the writer isn't Hemingway...yet. It's a good story line thus far and intelligently written. He knows the English language when to use two, to, and too. Far ahead of most of his critics

Will Vicky be undressed at the hospital with a circled MRC (Montana Rough Cattle) tattoo that is colored brown like a cattle brand just above her shaved pussy? Will the Montana web site update show Vicky and Tina in the latest gang bang? How much longer will Lloyd go along in a passive mode?

Don't fuck it up now ,and make him a scumbag cucky fuck. Let him be a man and get his pound of flesh. I gave it 5 stars. Wish you would be faster to post the story . But I am enjoying it so far

I was afraid you had bugged out on us. Your doin just fine. Keep it goin and let the bitch suffer b-4 he dumps her (she' s no good and been lying and cheating on him for years. and she's not gonna change, needs a good case of aids)). Bout time for a little sweetheart to show up to comfort him. Great story. It's a 5!

RFM

To the author: please do us all a favor......stop writing this kind of story. This is so BS and you lost yourself on this horrible sequel. Give us all a break and try something different.

This whole story is a nonsense / low context garbage. The author did a very poor job!

Not entertaining.

Useless in the progression of the story .

It is understandable back story to some of the work, don't lose focus however.

This story has been good to you and now its time for you to let go of it. The next chapter is THE END. Can we expect your next story now?

and found it fascinating and almost complete in itself.

What is there to do with her.

You dump the whore!

Called the Cop's and let them handle it.

The author did a poor job on this sequel. This story is too weak and so is the author.

Waste of time reading all those sequels.

Need more story line involving the girls somewhat sudden{?} drug relationship - what made Vicky start using? What will be Vicky's sober excuse for the rally actions? What happened to Tina and what drove the girls to get raffled? As asked- was Vicky branded? Any video hang time for the girls on the web? Any retribution to the Montana boys? Vicky needs to get burned....and Tina even worse...unless your going to make a Cuck out of him {don't do that}.

And how it ended in writer head?

another cocksucking WIMP posting dumb cuck SHIT.

2 stars now and sinking fast