All Comments on 'Randy's Unexpected Revenge'

The short digression into dick length added nothing - it was out of place and struck me as stupid. On the whole, however, head and shoulders above the usual revenge fantasy fare.

Good basic story. Sentence fragments, irregular punctuation, and at least one change in the characters' names are things that can easily be fixed. Streamlining the story flow by tweaking some of the paragraphs would be icing on the cake. Keep writing!

Enjoyed the story and hope you continue to write.

Thank you, I really enjoyed this story, it's good to see the good guy (and the good girl too, in this case) get to live happily ever after.

Congratulations on posting your first story. I look forward to reading your future efforts.

Well written but needs some drama.

He took a long time to move on too. Why didn’t he get company stock and a huge bonus for bringing in that govt contact. He worked for years to get a Vice President spot after the board took its time shopping around. And he accepted that. Strange. Anyway it worked out for him in his middle years. Nice story for a first timer.

Enjoyed it, thanks...

Makes a change from the physical revenge of the spec ops characters but a rewarding life well lived certainly acts as the longest lasting revenge.

Nice story and we'll written, thank you.

The "living well" is the best revenge plot. Pretty well done, but frankly I like my BTB's a little crispier.

Glad you decided to just move on instead of trying to get some kind of unbelievable revenge. While a lot of those stories can be entertaining to read this one made me genuinely happy. 5 stars!!

Football and Cheerleaders? Ok boomer

By living well. Welcome.... great story. Look forward to more of your work. 5

That was just a fantastic story . Especially for your first time writing so well done. I get very proud of writers that do there homework. The fact that you took your time though about it . Then wrote about it shows that you are a very talented writer and have a very talented character . So what I ask is to carry on writing especially with this great start . And if you carry on like this you will be known as one of the greats of the loving wife category. Because that is what they want to read in the loving wife category and not any of this wife sharing or swinging crap . So well done and write more like this.

you could have made it a little more believable if he had at least a masters degree- only going three years to get a bachelors degree while playing football- simply not credible- any body who has a child play sports in college- whether division one or division 2, knows the tremendous commitment of time the kids have to make- every day, in season or out, they have to be in the gym by at least 6:30 for weight training and conditioning- they go to class in the mornings- afternoons are for practice or too meet with their trainers- then their is film study and supervised study halls- in season, they might get a few hours a week for free time- most of the time they are too tired to do anything but sleep- my son played division 2 football at colorado school of mines- my daughter started at d 1 at a small school in south carolina but transferred to a D-2 school back in Colorado- both were very smart and got good grades both in high school and in college- I remember meeting with the recruiter fro School of Mines- he told my son that it takes five years to graduate- they would not let him take a full load- granted it was an engineering school but the academics had to fit around his athletic timetable- my daughter's experience may be more illustrative- she got a business degree in marketing while playing d 1 basketball, like every other athlete she had to attend summer classes- She was gone from the end of July until June the next year- she had games on friday and saturday from late november until march- she played on thanksgiving at ohio state and Christmas at Virginia Tech- It was the School's first year at D 1 and 27 of their 29 games were on the road- they traveled by bus other than to Ohio state- the team traveled over 7000 miles by bus that first year- they fired the coach after the season and did not hire a new one until the next summer- they told the women that it would be up to the new coach as to whether their scholarships would be granted the next year- I told my daughter that the'd have to transfer because I was not going to pay for her school where half of the students believed in the biblical theory of creation (and this was a relatively progressive school in the South). She came back and played D-2 for 2 more years- it was just as time consuming- Her senior year I footed the bill so she could have a normal life as a college student- She got a businees degree in marketing- graduating summa cum laud- but it took her another semester- she then worked full time and got her m.b.a.-

you simply can't be a college athlete and get any kind of degree in something like computer science and get a bachelors degree a year early

The best revenge is a life well lived. 5*

No burning beds, no gunshots, no balls or dicks being cut off. Just a good life, well lived by the just. As they say...What goes around comes around...nice STORY. I'll be looking for more stories from you.

Very good story, I really liked it.

Most realistic story in long time. No big crazy schemes, just life. Nice!

...in reality(as far as the story goes), they all burned.

Randy, Kelly and Scott all got to live their lives well satisfied, comforted in the integrity and love that is the lot of the just.

Nice tale, nice outcome, and a nice change of speed.

Not original really, but still a satisfying story where the revenge was to live well.

Heh, you could make a case that Cindy leaving him was the best thing that ever happened to him! If she never left, he wouldn't have thrown himself into his work and solved the problem that saved the company and made his career!

Great ending. A good man finds happiness. I wish every cheating spouse would consider stories like this because it seldom ends well for them.

That was great, especially for your first story!

Cindy deserved to end up heartbroken. She betrayed a husband that loved her enough to start dating her while she was fat, for a douchebag that ignored her until she lost all the weight. Randy was even willing to forgive her infidelity... but she still chose the slimy predator. What a stupid, shallow, slut.

It wasn't surprising that Cindy ended up in tears. She was about to become a two-time divorcee, a single mom with three kids, and she'd already started piling on the weight. She's going to end up a bitter, lonely, clinically depressed whale...

Living well really is the best revenge. It was very satisfying that Randy got to flaunt his success in the scummy cheaters' faces.

Is the best revenge, I guess.

Good one. More realistic than more on this site. 5*

Excellent read -especially for your first post. I've been there and from experience I can say "the best revenge is a life well lived".

This is your first story on Lit and you put in the Loving Wives section. You’re a very brave person. Congratulations on a great start and I hope you grace us with many more.

You should have fired her husband and your wife’s ex.

I like stories like that end well and the good guy wins. This was a little over the top as our hero saved the company and rode off into the sunset with a beautiful women.

I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing it with us. Please, keep writing 5*.

Now this. This is quality content right here !

The brilliant husband software guy should have realized early on that if the wife is going to love the attention she was getting From all these other guys because she was dropping all that weight... that meant that she did not value the marriage at all.

The husband loved his wife when she was a giant fan ugly cow and that should have counted for something but it did not

Chur m8 awsum story

Not that this author did, but one could easily write a full Lit page on just that alone.

I feel like it needs to be fleshed out a lot more. It's like a skeleton with some meat on it, but there is a lot more room for more meat for it to come to life (and no, the metaphors aren't because of the weight discussion in the story).

The story idea itself was pretty good, even if it's LW cliche. It will score well because guy does well after losing girl and girl regrets it, etc. But it could be a lot better if you made it come to life, with a lot more detail, emotions, story, etc.

Very entertaining read. Thanks for sharing.

Great story. The cheaters got what they deserved. I would have liked her to put on 100 lbs but she realises what she lost and that is good enough

it was a good story

Nice that she admitted her mistake. I would have preferred if she said he was cheating on her from the start and not just suspected him of cheating. Also have money tight etc. a really miserable life for her.

Nice story and well done. Look forward to more from you!

Can't wait till your next story.

I was a little unsure near the end, but it turned out the way it should have!

...well written story. 5 stars. Thanx!

Loklie

It really does help with character development.

But sometimes, it is just too boring and predictable.

Really, this was a good job, and fine effort. Not a lot of originality, but nothing inherently wrong with it. I don't think you should regret your choices here, because this story worked, and worked out well.

I just realized that personally, I'm getting a little tired of reading about teenage romance. My real suggestion to you is to NOT make this a format that you use all the time. In your future stories, really try to change things up. Backstory is good, but vary it from time to time. Although JPB is legend, his example of mining from the same source material began to wear thin. Sure took 100s of entries to get there, but it happens.

So this was your high school romance story. Great! Thank you very much!

Next time, change it up. Your growing fan base will appreciate it!

Unexpected? Unusual?

Maybe so .. that so much high school drama went through college and careers without ever changing. People, even shallow ones, grow.

Enjoyed this one as well! Can't wait for your next story! Well done.

Well done and justice is its own reward.

T.T.

Wow! A new author with a real story instead of a two page sex scene. You built real characters with Randy, Cindy, Kelly, and the other men. You did them about as well as possible in a three page story, but would have welcomed it being much longer. Nothing over the top here, just a a solid story of a betrayed man finding that he really hasn't lost anything at all. I have read your other story and found that , it too, is very well written. I definitely look forward to more from you. Well done.

Wonderful story of a man who is cruelly betrayed by his wife and accidentally discovers that he has achieved the perfect revenge. Randy won the marriage, as well as wife lottery here. Cindy is now aware of what she has lost. Doesn't get any better than this.

Great story. Believable plot, believable characters, no BTB, no RAAC.....just a good story.

Nice first story.

People make terrible decisions in their youth that haunt them in their later years. There's no do overs. Very well balanced story where the cheaters ruined their lives. Worse? The children that came from those poor decisions suffer the most. Thanks for sharing author. *****

Well developed and very interesting. Five star effort from me.

Thanks!

Liked the story once you eventually got to it. The school saga and pre divorce yawn was vastly overdone and I found myself skipping paragraphs to find the real story. It should be included, but only needs a few paragraphs.

Only thing missing was the btb, which could at least have been minor. I mean he could have at least smirked when told she was going to divorce. That would have really done the dirty on her.

Well conceived, well written with well developed characters. If this was your first story then you should be elated over the responses you have received. Keep the stories coming.

Welcome to LW, where we eat our young.

I liked the basic structure of this, but there are several areas I'd note where I think you'll need to improve.

First, all sense of drama is missing. For example:

* the narrator goes to the extent of using a PI to gather a lot of evidence, just to give the wife away. "You want a divorce, go ahead." She never really said she wanted one, only that she wanted to share. There was no dramatic confrontation. Just ... go. That's fine, and I totally understand it, but why go to the effort of gathering all of this evidence, if he won't use it to make a problem for her? He only needed the first evidence to ask "Are you having an affair?". Instead he pays the expense (both financial and psychological) to gather this extra evidence which only serves to hurt him further.

* Next, a supervisor sleeping with and breaking up a subordinate's marriage? In what world does that happen and there are no repercussions? A chance for drama, but no.

* How exactly is Randy's revenge unexpected? He worked hard, put in the time and guided the project to fruition. I would argue this would be expected. This is never really discussed or dramatized.

* Finally, Cindy made the biggest mistake of her life? How would we know this? There is no discussion of Cindy being unhappy at all until this throwaway comment at the end. Where is the build up of dramatic tension to indicate she's unhappy? She's had a great life - three kids and many years together. But now she's unhappy because ... she cheated with a cheater and is now being cheated on? This was really hollow and seems like it was just added in at the end.

A few other details.

* In every company, Product Development and Marketing are joined at the hip. There's no way the man in charge of the company's biggest money maker wouldn't have at least seen every Marketing person in the department during some meeting or another. That's just how companies work.

* A bit much on the high school back story. Most people quickly grow out of caring about the "prettiest/handsomest" stuff in high school. This makes the characters seem really stunted or immature.

* The comments about dick size were really weird. How would the narrator (or the reader) know that Cindy could "take his eleven or twelve incher". This is such a strange comment to make, and again, there's no discussion of this anywhere else in the story.

On the whole, I liked a lot of this, but I also think there is room for improvement. Keep working at it, and find a good editor who can help you.

May I suggest an editor sir? I suppose a good start would be to remove half the commas, then correct language mistakes like hug vs. huge.

I certainly appreciate the contribution and hope you continue.

The guy gets out of a bad relationship, winds up with a single mom who is a size queen. She gloms onto him now that hes rich and successful....she would have never given him the time of day if he wasnt rich.

Lame story

Please consider the legit criticisms. Thanks again.

Five Stars for your work.

It is called karma

I read it again and it's still 5*****!

I have seen several cheating wives leave their husbands and go to their boyfriends. I always think, "You prefer a cheat? And what, you think they won't cheat on you like they cheated on their last wife or like you cheated on your husband?" They deserve each other. Lovely ending to an engaging story.

The fact that she had always been an ugly duckling doesn't justify wearing "revealing" clothes.

He knows nothing about engineering, yet he "stuns" the engineers, LOL!

"She can take his eleven or twelve inches and probably more." - I admit that I'm skimming a bit on this read, but I don't remember anything about Cindy having a large vagina!

I would have said something like, "Well, I wouldn't have said it, but since you brought it up, yes, you deserve it."

When I read a story from a new writer,

I like to be positve and encourage the writer.

That's not easy here.

True, the story had some positive elements.

It had some originality and a happy ending.

And some fine writing.

But it had two irritating ingredients

that damaged the story for me.

First we have our hero, who manages people

and has been in a serious relationship.

Still when facing a new woman acts like a boy.

Blushes and acts awkward.

What is that?

Is it supposed to be cute?

Romantic?

Add the fact that he considered reconciliation.

Knowing his wife was having an affair,

including in his own home.

That's a wimp, in my book.

The sorriest hero in any story.

Second is the use of the word "revenge".

Merriam-Webster dictionary

defines "revenge" as follows:

1. To avenge. Usually by retaliating

in kind or degree.

2. To inflict injury in return for an insult.

By definition there is no revenge in this story.

Which just makes its name silly.

Now, I'm no expert in english.

It isn't even my first language.

But it seems to me that most of the

"The best revenge" quotes are

the wrong use of the language.

If you (or someone for you) don't act,

it's not a revenge.

Call it a consequence (if it is),

but don't call it a revenge.

Even with the negativity above,

I encourage StoneyWebb

to continue writing.

Every baby falls while learning to walk.

No shame in that.

But no ratings from me.

Point 1: I have witnessed persons being very effective in business confrontations, yet in a social setting be totally out of their element & act similar to a school boy. I feel it is likely that they could master those interaction skills, but may have to overcome childhood attained scars.

Point 2: Many people when faced with a spouse's betrayal, news that they were not prepared for, would at first just want their love, and their former life back. Had Cindy agreed to drop her lover and come back to the marriage, it could have still fallen apart as Randy realizes he can't get past the betrayal.

Point 3: I reject that there was no revenge. Inflicting hurt on the offending party was most certainly achieved as Cindy witnessed what Randy had become... Successful, good looking man, with a more attractive woman on his arm than her. She said, "When I left you, I made the biggest mistake of my life, and there is nothing I can do to fix it."

If you couldn't find enough there to offer a respectable score and words of encouragement, I think you need to revisit your parameters.

To lead by example: I score *****s & look forward to SW next story, one that I sure that will demonstrate that the author has considered all and hones his skill.

Very well done

Kirk is in charge of HR, cheats with an employee who is also married to another employee. Could have had Kirk's head served up on a platter.

Again. As scores indicate, this was your best work. You improve with every story and have a lot to offer LW.

Not here. First story of your's I've read. I enjoyed it. Keep writing, you have talent.

They would be fired for it.

Enjoyable revenge story, but one thing that really sticks out to me...they're based in Virginia, and he moves to California, but not only are both he and the kid are Tampa Bay Buccaneers fans, he also has 4 tickets on the 50 yard line primarily for entertaining clients? That seems a stretch to me.

Add to that the obvious legal ramifications of two married HR employees divorcing because they're having an affair with each other, and you have some logistics issues in the story. Again, it carries with it a certain spark, something not easy to obtain, so well done on that front, but you've got to make things add up a little better to have a truly fulfilling tale.

is to live well. My second favorite platitude: when seeking revenge, dig two holes.

Nicely done, StoneyWebb. Keep 'em comin'.

Let another man take advantage of him. The best revenge is revenge.

I agree with prior commentator that the digression into dick length was counter-productive. The overall story did not plow any new ground or present anything unique, but it was decently written.

Surprising Randy didn't take it up with the Company and have the cheaters demoted or otherwise punished. Sure, moving on and being highly successful and happy in a new relationship, is certainly the best revenge! 5*s.

Again, good story from a very good author who needs to write again.

A really good story, enjoyed. Yes, going by the others outcome in life, Randy and Kelly got the best revenge, just by living well.

Vick’s mantra: weep get drunk suck the other guy. Also a soyboy’s

When first we practice to be a cheating wife

but pleasingly satisfactory

Very well written, kind of Rockyish. Read so many stories on this site, sometimes they tend to fuse together.

"If you took it on and failed, not only would you be fired, but the company would probably tank." - If the company tanks, being fired doesn't mean much, and any good potential employer should realize the task he took on.

/

"Cindy decided to chase after Todd." ... "No, Randy, it was Kirk who pursued Cindy." - Was it Todd or Kirk?

/

"She can take his eleven or twelve inches and probably more. Now that I think about it, that's probably what attracted him to her." - He was attracted to her because she could take him in, but how could he know that?

A life well lived I'd the best revenge!

@DevlinCarnate - His success isn't unexpected, it's the fact that his success is the instrument of his revenge that is unexpected.

Married manager/supervisor screwing married subordinate, especially in HR; find out how much the company will pay to make that go away versus go public...

Boring.

5+ Stars!!!!111

Really enjoyed this one

Re-read story. News flash! Still 5*

Sbrooks beat me to it but;

"As Cindy continued to lose weight, she began dressing in more and more revealing clothing. At first, I really enjoyed it, but when I started overhearing some of the comments at work, I was not pleased. But I couldn't really say anything because, for her whole life, Cindy had been an ugly duckling." What difference does that make? Other people are making rude comments about the love of your life who just happens to be your wife and you can't say anything? I would expect better from a future CEO.

"When I left you, I made the biggest mistake of my life, and there is nothing I can do to fix it." No, you made it when you started cheating.

Eleven inch cocks, really? Signed: BTW

Well, kudos to Cindy for being honest. Leaving her meal ticket was the biggest mistake of her life. Cheating on him was fine, especially since he seemed to be willing to give her a pass on that.

Kelly is a whore too. And Randy is a pussy!

Not only is he too much of a pussy to report Kirk and Cindy for an inappropriate relationship after the divorce, he also ends up with someone else's sloppy seconds.

Her biggest mistake was leaving,he was willing to reconcile silly man.

As another comment had it, why didn't he burn both Kirk and Cindy for inappropriate behaviour, between superior and subordinate? So he got his revenge by living well and being happy, nothing dramatic. Good for him. Not the most satisfying story.

I can’t help thinking Randy is a bit of a simp. He should have reported Cindy and Kirk to management. I can’t help but think that Kelly being divorced and seeing how successful Randy has now become along with his rapport with her child, was hitching her cart to the most financially viable ride a available to her. If he was a simple programmer would she have stopped him at the supermarket? Or being a fast rising executive who is single, she probably had all the background info on him and was on the hunt for husband # 2.

Life living well is the best revenge

You never appreciate things until gone. For her, it took awhile. I am glad Cindy leaving Randy was the best thing for him. He should have thank her!

Glad everything worked out for him.

Sweet story. Proves that living a good life is the best revenge.