Reaching Out Ch. 03

"It's really happening." She whispered.

"Yes it is. We have a home. Soon, we'll be moving your stuff into it as well." James answered, nodding. She beamed at him, her smile wide and rapturous.

"Let's get to work then. I'm done waiting." She said, her voice hitching a little. James nodded and put the truck in gear, heading to their new home.

It was a thirty minute drive across town to get to the new house. The drive from the new place to mom's shop would only be about twenty minutes for Dana, about the same as it was from mom and dad's place. On the way over, Dana sat right next to James, holding onto his arm. She used the crappy lap belt in the middle of the seat even though it didn't tighten very well and the seat was a little uncomfortable there. None of that mattered to her, she simply had to keep a hold of him, had to stay as close to him as she could after the time they had spent apart.

They pulled up to the house and parked in the driveway. They just sat in the truck for a moment, looking at the place. James felt Dana shaking a little and realized she was crying before he turned to her. She was smiling wide as the tears rolled down her cheeks, her breathing broken by little hitches and gasps. She looked over at James, her eyes bright in the tears, her face a glowing mask of unrestrained happiness.

"James, we are home." She whispered, her voice rough.

"Yes we are. We're home." He answered, wiping her tears away and smiling back.

They got out and opened the house up, walking through the rooms they had both studied countless times in pictures. They walked through the house holding hands, not speaking, just looking at each room in turn. It was better than the pictures had looked, more spacious and open. When they got to the room that would be Dana's drawing room, they walked up to the window and looked out. The backyard was large and neat, with two small birds frolicking in the birdbath. James and Dana just watched them for a moment, silent and happy, as the birds hopped about and splashed around. When one of the birds flew off into the gray sky, they continued their little tour.

The last room they checked out was the bedroom they would be sharing. They walked through it slowly, stopping in the middle. Dana looked around, figuring the bed would sit right in the middle of the room, the headboard up against the wall with no window. The closet was large with two doors that slid sideways, and there was a large bathroom with two side by side sinks. It was perfect.

"What do you think? Will this work as your new sanctuary?" James asked, his voice low.

"Yes. Our sanctuary." She corrected, squeezing his hand. James chuckled a little and nodded.

"Ours. Let's get to it then, so that we can start living in it." He said, kissing her cheek lightly.

They got the truck unloaded rather quickly with both of them working at it, moving the boxes easily enough. They were all marked, and went straight to the rooms they belonged in. When the truck was empty, they jumped in and hit the road to get the next load.

"Dana, I wanted to talk to you about something. I didn't want to do it over the phone, because it just felt like something we should talk about face to face." James said once they were rolling.

"What is it?" She asked, leaning on his shoulder again, her eyes closed.

"Well, it's about before, when we were in your room. When we were, you know, making love." He said, feeling a little awkward talking about it. He didn't know why it made him feel odd, considering the things they had discussed and the things they had done, he just knew that he felt a bit embarrassed discussing it, about addressing it as frankly as he was about to.

"What about it? Is something wrong?" She asked, looking up at him. James could feel her tense up, could feel her apprehension even though he was focusing mostly on the road.

"No, not really. I was just thinking about the first time. If we're going to be doing it that way, with me, you know, finishing like that, then we're going to have to take precautions. It'd be pretty hard to explain to mom and dad how you got pregnant, if it happened. Know what I mean?" James said quickly, wanting to reassure her. Dana relaxed and giggled a little, laying her head back on James' shoulder.

"Yes, I know. I already thought of that. I already took precautions." She said, her voice sounding a little proud.

"You did? What do you mean?" James asked, surprised.

"Well, after the second time, I knew that I liked the way we did it the first time better. So on the way home from work I stopped at the pharmacy and got birth control pills. I've been on them since then. Problem solved." She said, squeezing his arm.

"You did? That's great, I was thinking of getting condoms, but if you're doing that, then I guess we don't need them." James said, smiling.

"No condoms, I want to feel you, not some piece of plastic. I want to feel us together." She said, her voice quiet and sounding a little shy.

"You don't even know what condoms feel like, though." James chuckled, glancing down at her.

"I don't need to. I know that they'll be something between you and me. I know I don't want that. I want to feel you, just you." She said simply, her hand moving to rest on his stomach, her fingers scratching lightly on his shirt.

"Yeah, I can live with that. I'm not a real big fan of condoms, I just sort of got used to them. I always had to use them with the other girls I was with, so it was get used to them or don't have sex. Guess which one I chose." James said, nodding and smiling. Dana giggled when he said that and patted his stomach lightly.

"You don't have to worry about that anymore. What about, what about later, though?" She asked, her voice getting a little more serious. He could feel her tensing again, and could hear the apprehension in her voice. He thought he might understand what she was asking, but he needed to be sure about it.

"What do you mean?" He asked, his smile fading a little.

"I mean later. What about further down the road? Do you think that there might be a way that one day, you and I could think about, maybe, getting pregnant?" Dana asked, her voice hesitant and soft, sounding very shy and nervous. Her hand on his stomach was still, her body was rigid against him, and James realized she was terrified in asking the question. To her, she was risking a lot in bringing it up, in asking him about it as a real possibility.

"Dana, that's, that's something we would have to think about real hard, and not just because it would be hard to explain. That's a huge step. Would you really want to have a kid with me?" James said, stuttering a little. He was feeling like they were venturing into dangerous territory, as if they hadn't already. He could feel her start to relax a little, but not much.

"Of course I would, James. There isn't anyone else I would want to have a family with. You are my family. You're my only family. You're the only family I want. I only want you. If I ever have a child, I don't want one with anyone but you. But I can't do that unless you want to as well." Dana said softly, slipping her hand from his stomach to circle his waist, holding onto him tightly. Her other arm tightened its grip on his arm and she leaned up to kissed his neck softly, a gentle little peck that lingered a moment and was gone. She rested her head on his shoulder again while she waited for his answer.

"If, if, we figure that out, then yes, of course I would want to raise a family with you. But that's something that we would have to figure out very carefully. That would take a lot of planning, a lot of caution. We can think about that once we've gotten ourselves set up and started our lives." James said slowly, nodding. The thought of raising a kid or two with Dana, starting a family with her, living a complete life like that; it all made James' head spin with joy, fear, desire, tension, and wonder.

"Okay. Thank you James. I'll think on it." She said happily, holding him tight.

--

They got the next load and filled the truck, talking about where everything would go and what they thought would be the easiest way to go about it. When the truck was full, James took a look around his place to see what they had left. It looked like one more trip would do it, and they might be finished by sundown. Pretty quick, all told. He was happy he had decided to spring for the bigger sized truck instead of one of the smaller ones he had been looking at. With it, it would probably only take a single trip to move Dana's stuff to the house.

"Do you want to call mom on the way over to the house? Ask her about moving in? I think we'll be done by tonight with my stuff, and be ready for yours in the morning. Then I can drop the truck off and have you drive me over to get my car." James said as they started back to the new house.

"Yes, I can do that." Dana said, pulling her phone from her pocket. She just looked at it a moment as James drove, not dialing or anything.

"James?" She asked, her voice small and scared.

"What's wrong?" He asked, getting worried.

"I'm, I'm scared. What if she, I don't know, what if she thinks it's a bad idea? What if, if she gets mad? James, I don't know if I can do this." She said, her voice uneven. She was still sitting in the middle seat, right up next to James, so he put his arm around her, pulling her over to lean on him, and put his hand on her hip where she liked it once she was there. The truck was an automatic, so he didn't have to worry about shifting, which he was very thankful for at that moment.

"You can do this, Dana. I'm right here with you, I've got my arm around you, you can hold onto me like you usually do when you talk to her, you aren't doing this alone. You can put the phone on speaker if you want to, and we can both talk to her if that will make you feel better." James said in a soothing tone of voice, squeezing her gently, his hand rubbing on her hip lightly. He thought it would be good for Dana to do this, a big step for her. That not only would it be a big part of them starting their lives together, but that making this call would be a big stepping stone for her personally. That it would give her a chance to really assert her independence and prove to herself that she could make big changes in her life.

"Okay. Okay, I can do this. I'm scared James, but I can do this, right?" She said, her voice shaking a little, looking up at him. He could feel her trembling against him a little, could feel the tension thrumming through her like an electric charge.

"Of course you can. I'm right here with you. You can do this. I know you can." He said confidently, giving her a reassuring smile.

"Okay. I'll try." She said, nearly whispering. Dana hesitated a moment longer before calling mom. She didn't put the phone on speaker, which James was happy to see. He wanted her to do this on her own as much as she could.

"Hi mom. No, we're on the road. We were talking about the move while we were loading the truck, and we sort of had an idea." Dana said, her voice surprisingly even and light. Her body was anything but. She was tense and stiff against James, her free hand clamped onto his thigh.

"No, actually, it was an idea about the move. We were thinking that maybe, um, it might be good for me to try living with James for a while, in one of the extra bedrooms he has now. That it might be more like living on my own with a roommate, and that it could be a good way for me to get a feeling for living on my own a little." Dana said after a pause to listen to their mom. She was wincing quite a bit while she spoke and her hand tightened almost painfully on James' thigh, terribly afraid of how mom would react. She listened for a moment before her hand loosened a little, much to James' relief, and her face eased.

"Yeah, that's what we were thinking, more or less. Less like living with you guys, and more like living on my own. With James, it would be closer to splitting a rented house with a roommate, you know? Except the rent is actually James paying off the house, I guess. Yes. Well, I suppose tomorrow, since he has a moving truck now for his stuff and we should be done with his stuff tonight. I mean, it won't take long to get my stuff together. I know. I know. I love you too, mom. Yes, we'll talk more about it tonight. Okay, bye mom." Dana hung up the phone and dropped it in her lap, turning quickly to bury her face in James' arm, her hand going to his chest. She let out a jagged, nervous laugh that sounded slightly hectic to James.

"James, she thought it was a good idea! She doesn't like that it's so sudden, and she wants to talk to me about it tonight, but she thinks it would be good for me. She likes the idea of me and you staying together because we'll be able to talk more. James, this is going to work. Oh my god, I actually talked to her about it, I actually did it." She said in a rush, her voice muffled by James' arm. James smiled and squeezed her tight, very proud of her for going through with it.

"See, I knew you could. That wasn't so hard, was it?" He asked quietly, his heart racing at the news that they would be moving her in the morning.

"Are you kidding? That was terrible! I'm so glad I did it though. She said it was a good idea! I'm moving tomorrow, James!" She almost shouted, looking up at him with a wide grin.

"Yeah, yeah you are. We'll have your stuff home by the evening, and we'll spend our first night together." James said softly, still smiling.

"Home." Dana whispered, reaching up to run her thumb along the line of his jaw.

"Home." James said, nodding.

--

The truck rolled up to the curb at their parent's house. Dana and James got out, both stretching their backs. They had moved the couch and bed with the last load, and were exhausted. Dana waited for James to walk around the front of truck and took his hand while they walked to the house. They walked in to the smell of lasagna and the sound of mom and dad talking in the direction of the kitchen.

"Hey mom, we're here." James called as they walked over.

"Just in time. So, you guys had an idea huh? I have to say, it's a doozy." Dad said, sitting at the table. He had a small smile on his face and looked pretty relaxed, his body not tensed or stiff at all. James thought that perhaps mom and dad might actually be on board with the idea pretty well, and that they wouldn't really need any extra convincing.

He had thought that he and Dana would have to do some talking to get dad to see their point, to get him to go along with the idea, but it appeared that he wasn't gearing up for any kind of argument about it. James let hope flutter to life in his chest, his mind already turning to how quickly they could get Dana moved over to the house.

"Yeah, I guess so. We were just thinking that with Dana living with me, it could help in a couple of ways. It would give her a chance to try living in a place that wasn't with parents, a little more independent, and that it would give us plenty of time to talk. Keep working together the way we have been. We've made good progress so far, and we'd like to see if we can, you know, keep the ball rolling." James said as he and Dana sat down at the table. Dad thought about a moment, nodding a little.

"I suppose I can see that. It's pretty sudden, though. I mean, that's a big step to take all at once, and to decide in one afternoon." Dad said, looking at Dana.

"I know daddy, but James has the truck now, so we thought we should use it while he does, make everything easier while we could. I don't have much to move, but we can do it all in one trip with the truck instead of two or three trips with a car." Dana said, squeezing James' hand under the table. She looked at her father for the most part while talking to him, but she still looked like she would rather be silent.

"We wouldn't be a couple towns over either, like I was before. She would only be moving across town, so it isn't very far. I think just the change itself would be good for Dana. We both do. It's sudden, yeah, but I really don't see much reason to wait on it either." James said with a shrug. Dad considered it, nodding a little. While he did, mom declared dinner finished, calling out from the kitchen. Dana went to help her in the kitchen, and dad took the moment to speak to James without her in the room.

"You really think this will help her? That this will make a difference worth the effort of moving her and having her live with you?" Dad asked in a low voice, leaning forward and watching James closely. His body was a little tenser than it was before, James could see, a little more focused. Dad's jaw was tight, his shoulders set, and his face was a little wary.

"Yeah, I do. I think something like this is exactly what Dana needs. If it helps her, then it's certainly worth the effort. I don't mind having her live with me, that's not an issue at all. I'm fine with her staying with me for as long as she wants, as long as it helps her with her fears." James said earnestly, speaking low as well. Dad smiled and sat back, his body easing. He looked like he was proud, like he was happy to hear James' reasons for the decision.

"Okay. You're doing a good thing, you know that? Most people would just say to send her to another doctor, or say to let her work through it on her own. Me and your mom were in the doctor camp for a long time. Having you find out that you could get through too her, it's been a blessing. To know that you're willing to share your home with her and make such big changes in your life to help her out, it really makes me proud of you James. Your mom is very proud as well. I'll be here tomorrow to help Dana finish pack up and help you guys load the truck, and we'll get her moved on over to your place so you can get the truck turned in." Dad said, finishing as mom and Dana came in with plates and dinner in hand.

They ate and talked, mostly about the move and how it would work. Mom asked about a housewarming party, but James declined, knowing that Dana wouldn't feel very comfortable with such fanfare even if it was just the family. They decided on James staying at the new house for the night to set up the bed while Dana stayed at mom and dad's to get an early start on packing. James and Dana weren't wild about spending another night apart, but it made sense.

When dinner was done James and Dana gathered the dishes and took them to the sink, washing and drying as they had during James' vacation. It was a wonderful return to something they had discovered together, smiling and glancing at each other as they worked, standing close enough together that their arms kept constant contact with each other. When the dishes were done, James took a quick look to make sure that the kitchen and dining room were empty, and saw that they were. He gave Dana a quick kiss and whispered a quick 'I love you' in her ear, getting a smile and a giggle out of her.

"I want to do the dishes together in our home. I like this." She said, speaking softly, her hand resting lightly on his arm.

"I'd like that. I'd like that an awful lot. I've got to get going though, we have a busy day tomorrow, and I want to get an early jump on it." James said, his hand rubbing her side gently. Dana nodded and gave him a light peck on his lips before they left the kitchen.

--

James sat in the bedroom, sweat pouring from his body. The bed was finished, in place, and the sheets and blanket on it. He was exhausted and sore. It was close to midnight, but he was happy he had decided to go ahead and make the bed as well as put it together. One less thing to do tomorrow after the move. Looking at it, he decided that he really didn't want to sleep in it alone. No, he would wait until tomorrow to sleep in the bed. He would wait for Dana. He grabbed the spare blanket from one of the boxes and a pillow and walked out to the living room. With a heavy sigh, he flopped down on the couch. It was a little more comfortable than mom and dad's couch, but not much.