All Comments on 'Realtor Revenge Pt. 08'

I had been pulling for Janis to be alive, but now it's beginning to look as if the all of the Janis sightings were delusions of a sick mind. I had figured she had escaped from the grave (with help, of course), and was hiding out, helping to gaslight the evil Craven Hardwood. Were it so! Now it looks like Craven (excuse me, C. Raven) does not need help to lose her mind. This installment of your saga is a bit too idiotic even for my own taste, and not sexy, but I'll give you 5 stars anyway as credit towards Part 9. ~~ JB

You are an extremely skilled writer, and I loved the first arc — until the end. The savagery, brutality, and inhumanity of the last chapter completely undermined the whimsical narrative tone that you had established and retroactively wrecked the elegant plot that you had built. That may be what you hoped to accomplish, but it struck me as a hot sordid mess. It made jumping the shark look good.

The second arc has not improved matters. C. Raven Hardwood is an empty caricature: malice and enmity without plausible motivation, Iago without the wit. She may as well end every scene with a maniacal laugh and a villain’s monologue (in fact, that’s essentially what happens here). It’s insane to think that any police officer would have gone along with her depraved plan. It’s inexplicable why Mark would conspire with her. And it is flatly implausible that she could convince a large group of established government officials to go along with her insane gang rape/murder plot. Verisimilitude is not just a word taught to English majors, and this story lacks any semblance of it.

While I sincerely hope that Janis returns, I see no path forward for any satisfactory conclusion other than one in which she moves far away from any of these sadists. Her torment was just too severe for her to realistically forgive Mark or Flanagan. At a minimum, she must have been buried for at least an hour before rescue, and probably quite a bit longer, and that’s just too much anguish and betrayal. You seem to be foreshadowing a third arc where we witness Janis as she plays revenge mind games with Ms. Hardwood, but it’s inconceivable to me that she would trust any of these miscreants enough to take such a risk.

It’s a shame too. You had a wonderfully engaging story in the making —Parks and Rec with sex and perversity. Ambition is always to be encouraged but this time it led you astray.

Despite the disaster that has sunk this tale, I’m giving you a 4 on sheer talent. Keep writing, please.

It is difficult to evaluate this chapter as we don't know in what direction this saga is going ..

For the moment 4* because it is well written

Long as Mark dies (preferably a horrific death) I'm good.

This town was just another rust belt town suffering economic losses, bad but not without possibility of change or redemption...until Mark arrived. His whole I'm a rich and powerful man who owns your fate, and if you want to leave this place and survive you need to fuck me and my whore(s), how and when I say, was just plain shitty.

He destroyed Janis turning her into nothing but a self loathing whore (possibly getting her killed due to his greed).

He caused Craven to become this psychotic, hurtful whore (and possible killer) who now continuously inflicts pains on innocent people.

This town was bad before, Mark made it his personal hell just so he can toy with innocent lives. KILL MARK!!!