Reaping What You Sow

Mum blushed and said, "My God, James. This is so wrong, you talking to me like this."

"Does it arouse you?"

She paused and blushed again. Before she could speak I jumped in and answered my question for her. "It does, doesn't it?"

"A little." she said keeping her eyes lowered.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked.

"I guess you can do whatever you want." she replied.

"After we spoke on the phone on Sunday and I spoke about us having sex, did you get aroused by that and did you masturbate to the thought of having my hard cock in your pussy?"

She went bright red. It was obvious that she had. After an attempt to compose herself she said quietly, "Yes."

"Is that 'yes' to being aroused or masturbating?" I enquired further.

Again, very shyly and a little embarrassed she said, "Both."

I was getting an erection and I wanted to let my mother know, so I got up and walked over to her and stood in front of her with my crotch level with her face. I asked, "What do you see?"

Looking up she looked at my crotch and then glancing up at me she said, "You have an erection."

"Would you like to touch it?"

Mum sighed and said, "I'd like to touch it but you're my son and I shouldn't."

"If incest was normal, would you touch it?"

With a rather demure smile she said, "Yes".

"For the purposes of our visits together, incest is not only legal, it's encouraged."

"Ha ha." Mum laughed, "Well, isn't that lucky." she said with a hint of sarcasm.

She stopped and looked down at my crotch again and the obvious bulge. After a moment she slowly reached up and ran her hand across the bulge. Her touch was light, but excited me. My cock swelled and stiffened at her touch. Her expression was one of wonder as she felt me thicken and stiffen.

As she was rubbing me I noticed her nipples stiffen. It seemed to me that Mum was excited at touching my hard cock.

I reached down and ran my hands over breasts. As I did she gasped and looked down at what my hand was doing.

She looked up at me and asked, "James why are you doing this to me?"

With that, I stood back up, moved back out of her reach and sat back down. I looked at her and considered her question.

"Well, there is a simple answer, and that is because you are allowing me to do it."

"I'm not." she jumped in.

"Yes you are, because I'm not making you come here, or take the photos. You are so desperate to keep in contact that you have implicitly given me your full permission to do whatever I wish. If you weren't happy with that you could simply walk away."

"But you aren't giving me any choice."

I smiled as Mum realized that she was the victim of the sorts of things she had done to others in the past and said, "All my life I have seen you impose your will on others. Giving them little or no choice in the way they were able to deal with you. You have also mercilessly taken your revenge on anyone that did something that offended you or even as little as disagreed with you.

"You have bullied people, even humiliated them because they had the nerve to take a stance different to yours. Perhaps the situation here is a matter of Karma. You don't want to be alone so you have to do what I say."

Mum's head dropped a little and then she asked, "But why do you want to have sex with me. I'm your mother."

I decided that there was no reason to lie. I had my mother in a position where she had only one choice to make, so I responded, "Well, since I was 18 I've always wondered what it was like to have sex, and then seeing you occasionally naked it changed to wanting to have sex with you. I spent many nights in bed masturbating imagining that I was pumping my cock in and out of your pussy. I would orgasm with the image of my cock buried deep inside you and shooting my cum into you in my head. Now you are giving me the opportunity to do it for real."

"It's so wrong James." she responded.

"I guess it is." I said and then paused before asking, "Before last weekend had you ever fantasized about having sex with me?"

Mum blushed.

I added, "You might as well be honest because it will make no difference to what might happen later."

Glancing up at me for a second and then looking back down at the floor, she replied, "A few times."

"Did you masturbate thinking about me fucking you?"

Blushing again she said, "Yes."

"Is there something about the situation you're in that excites you?"

"Sort of. But it's also a chance to get close to you. You are my son after all, and even if I have to commit incest with you I don't want to lose you for good."

"Thank you for at least being honest."

I picked up my glass and drank some wine, Mum did the same.

We sat in silence for a few minutes. Part of me wanted to really make my mother suffer, but that was the part of me most like her, and I didn't want to be like her. I still found her attractive and although the idea of having sex with her was so attractive I was now struggling to justify it in moral terms to myself.

"Mum?" I asked to gain her attention.

"Yes." she replied and looked at me.

"This is ridiculous. It's not right that I do what I wanted to do to you."

"What do you mean?" she asked rhetorically and then continuing, "Aren't you going to fuck me, like you've fantasised?"

"No. It's wrong. It's incest and I shouldn't force you to do that."

"James?"

"Yes." I responded.

"Let me tell you something." And then she paused briefly. "I haven't had sex in nearly two years. Your dad and I hadn't had sex in nearly 5 years. With his work and the 'right moment' never seeming to arrive we just found that the opportunity never presented itself. As a result, I had a one-night stand with an ex-colleague when we were both drunk and that's the only sex I've had in that 5 years and that was a couple of years ago. No-one will go near me at work and, to be honest, I don't want to go down the route of having an intimate relationship with someone at work. So, your very clever plan to humiliate me is the closest I've come to sex in years."

"I'm sorry to hear that." I answered, now feeling a little sorry for her.

All of a sudden I found myself wondering what I was doing, or trying to do. I now had doubts about whether I was as vindictive as my mother has been throughout her life to be able to force her to commit incest. As much as the fantasy has been a constant attraction in my life since I first started thinking about sex, I was now having to confront the reality of that fantasy and I suddenly found myself struggling to rationalize it. I made the decision quickly to end this ridiculous situation. I couldn't go through with it.

"Mum. Go home. I don't want this. It's silly. We shouldn't be doing this and I'm wrong to force you into it. When I've got my head around all of this I'll call you."

There was a sad look on her face and not one of relief as I'd anticipated. I was confused and wanted this to stop as quickly as possible. I got up and went to her.

"Sorry Mum, you need to go."

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yes, I'm sure." I replied and headed towards the hallway.

Mum followed a few seconds later. I had her coat and gave it to her. I opened the front door as she put it on.

She went through the door and looked back at me. "I don't want to be alone James."

"I know." I replied. "I'll give you a call."

Turning, she headed out and disappeared from sight. I closed the door and went back into the lounge, I got a bottle of vodka and a bottle of coke from the drinks cabinet and proceeded to get very drunk.

#

I phoned work, calling in sick the following morning and stayed in bed until early afternoon. I had one hell of a hangover and began to mull over what I thought I was doing over the last week or so. I didn't really like my mother, so why was I trying to cause myself to spend time with her. As much as she has been awful to people, including me, all through her life, I couldn't bring myself to be the one to punish her for what she has done.

After managing to eat something late in the afternoon I got my laptop and checked my email. To my surprise there was an email from my mother. I opened it and read:

[James,

I was really surprised how yesterday ended. I was a little surprised that you got me to do what you did but I was relieved when you put an end to what you had started. By sending me home I sat down and considered what you had done, how you stopped and why you may have stopped. This is something that I guess isn't what I would have done. I would have gone through with it. That caused me to think about the difference between you and me.

It's clear that you have some sympathy for others and I find myself now pondering that perhaps I don't. I clearly have some thinking to do and I wanted to let you know that you have given me plenty to think about.

I hope you can get over what has happened because you are my son and the only person I have left. I don't want us to lose touch because you are too embarrassed to face me again. If you feel that way, I hope you understand that when we next meet you can consider that you have my gratitude for being the person you are and that as much as what started out to be a lesson you wanted to teach me, perhaps your failing resolve has actually been the catalyst to make me think hard about how I've acted throughout my life.

I don't know if I will be able to change overnight, but I know I can't go on like I have. Thank you for demonstrating how to treat people and I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me for my past and to give me a call in a few days.

Mum.]

I sat and read the email numerous times, partly to make sure I wasn't imagining what I was seeing and also to absorb the words she had written. This was completely out of character. I considered replying but I had no idea what to say. I still felt a little hungover having eaten and drunk very little all day.

I made myself a meal and sat and ate, with a large glass of water. After that I sat and looked at the television. I can't really say I watched it, the television was on and I was sat and dozed until about 9pm, when I went to bed. The next day I phoned in saying I was still not very well and the day went something similar to Thursday.

The weekend came and went and I went back to work the following week. I didn't do anything socially, simply going back home each evening. I was really struggling with what I nearly did and how close I came to becoming like the person I despised most throughout my adult life.

#

Friday night came and I was sat at home and my home phone rang. I didn't have the number in my phone, but it was a local number so I answered.

"Hello."

From the other end of the line I heard, "Hello. Is that James, James Parry?"

"Yes, speaking."

"Hello James, I don't know if you remember me, but I'm Angela Thomas, an old friend of your Mum's.

"Hi Angela. Yes, I remember you. What can I do for you?

"Perhaps answer a couple of questions about your Mum."

"I'm not sure there's much I can help with, I've only seen her a couple of times since Dad's funeral and that didn't go too well, I guess."

"Oh. By the way, I never got chance to speak to you. Please accept my condolences."

"Thank you." I replied, still wondering why Angela had called.

"James?"

"Yes."

"Is your mother alright?"

"What do you mean?"

Angela paused, "Um, I'm not sure really. I got this strange call from her and she actually apologized for some things that had happened in the past and seemed to be really upset at the way we fell out after the funeral. I wondered if there was anything seriously wrong with her."

"I don't believe there's anything wrong, but I know she's really concerned at how lonely she is."

"Oh." Angela said and paused. "She did say she had spoken with you and something had happened that made her sit down and seriously consider what she'd done in her life and how she had treated people, particularly the two real friends she had."

I jumped in and asked, "Janine and you?"

"Yes. It's almost like she's had an epiphany or something she's completely changed."

"We did have a few words last week." hoping that Mum hasn't given any details to Angela. I continued, "I guess I told her a few home truths. Perhaps one or two may have struck home. I haven't spoken to her since, so I don't know what she's been up to over the last week or so."

Again there was a pause before Angel asked, "You don't think she's playing games with me do you?"

I thought about what Angela had said and to the email I received from Mum. The chances of being played were not insignificant but I think on balance Mum feared loneliness more than anything. So, I responded, "I guess there is a very small chance Angela, but my feeling is that she is being genuine, based on some communication I've received. If you still want her as a friend, I would say give her a chance. I think that's what I'll be doing."

"I know she really means well but she can be absolutely infuriating at times and I had got to a point after our row after the funeral where I didn't need the grief she dished out and I was happy to walk away completely."

I laughed and said, "I know exactly where you're coming from. I guess not only did I feel that way, and have done so since the funeral, but I actually told her so, face to face. I think she was shocked that I didn't care if I never saw her again."

"James, I didn't realise you could be so hard."

"Well, I guess I've learnt from a master." and laughed.

Angela laughed as well.

We spent another 5 minutes or so reacquainting ourselves as it had been about 12 years since we last spoke. Angela was now on her own, so I could understand why she was a little suspicious of Mum's motives. I asked about Janine and Angela told me how she had also fallen out with Mum at the funeral and that my asking about her had reminded her to check with Janine to see if she had heard from Mum. We eventually said our goodbyes and the call ended.

#

Saturday morning, I got up feeling refreshed. I tidied the house and sorted out the washing and then headed out to do some shopping. After getting home and putting the shopping away I decided to check my emails.

There was an email from Mum:

[James,

I hope you're not still embarrassed about what happened the other night. I wish you would call me.

I've thought about some of the things you've said and I've managed to sort things out with Angela and Janine. Hopefully we will get together next week for a coffee and then we'll take it from there.

I've also thought about some of the other aspects of the other night and to be honest I'm actually still interested in pursuing that, as I was that night. If you want to have another go, I'd be happy to try with you. I have found thinking about what you proposed quite intriguing and to some extent arousing. I know it's not the sort of thing we should do, but to be honest with no man in my life, I miss the intimacy and it might give us a chance to get closer.

If you're free tonight, I'd love to come over and perhaps we could try a few things out.

Please don't leave it too long to get in touch.

Mum]

I sat and thought about the idea of perhaps becoming physically intimate with my mother and the fantasy was having a bigger influence on me than the potential

hassle I might get just being around my mother.

I made my decision and replied to her email:

[Mum,

I have things to do earlier in the evening but I will be back by 9pm, you can come over after that, if you like.

James]

I gave myself plenty of time to finish the rest of the housework and have a meal before having to confront my mother. So, I set about that to give myself plenty of time to prepare for her visit.

#

At a few minutes after 9pm the doorbell rang. I got up and opened it to see my mother standing there. She smiled and said, "Hello James." rather brightly.

"Hi." I replied and added, "Come in." as I stood aside to let her enter.

She stopped in the hallway and took off her coat and hung it on the coat hooks. She was wearing a fitted skirt, coming down to just above the knees, with a blouse that showed off what appeared to be a white bra beneath it, all bottomed off with three-inch heeled strappy shoes.

I followed her into the lounge and as she sat on the sofa I asked, "Would you like a drink?"

"If you have any more of the wine I had last time, that would be nice please."

I grabbed two glasses and poured some wine from a new box I'd opened earlier that day. While in the kitchen I was struck by how up-beat Mum was. Gone was the desperation of the last couple of times. Had she changed in such a short space of time? Or, as Angela feared a little, was she setting me up for something really bad. With my question unanswered I headed back into the lounge.

I handed Mum the glass and noticed that her skirt had ridden up revealing at least half of the length of her thighs. It was also fairly tight and it looked like the clasps of her suspenders were noticeable on top of her thighs. Her make-up and hair were done well giving her a rather sophisticated look and as she reached up to take the wine, she smiled warmly and said, "Thank you."

I sat down alongside her, as she had chosen to sit on the sofa. We were both half turned to each other.

"How have you been since the last time I was here?" she asked opening up the conversation.

"To be honest, I felt like shit for a few days." I decided that being polite wouldn't cost me anything, so went on to ask, "How have you been?"

"I've made some big decisions and I guess I may get it wrong occasionally but I'm going to try to be more considerate."

"That sounds good."

We both took a sip of our drinks and sat quietly for a few moments.

"James." she said getting my attention.

"Yes."

"You know how you thought you wanted to teach me a lesson by trying to humiliate me sexually?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry."

Mum held her hand up to stop me.

"You don't have to apologise. I'm not upset about it. Actually in the position of not having a man in my life and if you agree to what I propose, I probably won't go seeking one, I was intrigued to find out if you would seriously consider helping me relieve some of the sexual tension I'm suffering from."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Would you consider having sex with me from time to time? Just to stop me getting too horny."

"Are you serious?" I asked a little surprised.

"From what I felt last time I was here you appear to be well endowed. Regardless whether you were justified in doing what you did or whether you took it too far, I don't really care, but what you did was show me just how destructive I can be and it made me think very hard when I left about the people in my life and I cried when I found I had alienated everyone and with you, my only family wanting to rape me or send me away for good I was shocked at what I'd done.

"In many ways James, I have you to thank for making me confront what I'd become and giving me what seems to be a last chance to do something about it and not suffer the fear of loneliness that I have."

"Did I really do that?" I asked somewhat taken aback with her admission.

"Yes, you did."

Feeling a little stupid about trying to fuck my own mother, I asked, "Do you think I really wanted to make you have sex with me?"

Smiling, she paused for a moment and then answered, "I think you did the other evening, out of anger, but in the cold light of day I don't think you're that kind of person."

"I guess I should apologise for being a complete idiot."

A broad warm smile spread across Mum's face and she said, "My dear James, what I put you through over many years probably justifies some form of revenge. The nature of that revenge doesn't bother me, but what it did was make me consider how I might satisfy myself without having to go out to bars and clubs trying to pick up a one-night stand. If you really want to live out your fantasy, I don't mind. In fact, I would quite like to let you. Besides I might get to fulfil one or two of my own."