All Comments on 'Rebecca's Mistake'

Next time, leave out the weird music diatribe with racist overtones and maybe just focus on the actual story?

Thank you for your first story. You didn't explain what the husband did. Assuming he wrecked the house, Why would he if he owned it and would some money after the divorce? She gave him videos, use them against her! File for divorce and share the videos with friends, family, her company, and of course their church! Post them on the internet - anonymously of course. Make sure everyone knows that she is a cheating and controlling bitch.

Jokes is still on the cheating bitch. Good short story.

Nobody is THAT stupid that she'd think there would be no reprisals or consequences for her actions. Has the whole State seen her video? I hope he took all of his things out of the house before he dozed it. He'd be on the hook for the value of the house and the fines for illegal demolition unless he took out the proper permits. And you'd need more than a D4 which is a finish dozer to do the job. At least a D6 or a medium size excavator to do the job right. Poorly thought story.

A follow up to what?

Terrible attempt that didn't even end with a period, and wasted almost half of it with a rock and roll rant? Better luck next time.

Fuck it seems fair to me

Excellent ending and consequence for the whore from the original story.

What a stupid slut. I hope he cancelled their homeowners insurance. Destroyed the house. After moving all of his stuff safely out. Not hers.

And he serves her the petition of divorce for adultery using the actual video she sent as evidence.

Now they owe money on a mortgage for a home neither of them can live in.

Somehow the video she sent him gets posted onto a bunch of amateur porn websites. And anonymous emails with links are sent to all of her family, friends, and coworkers.

But shit. She sure showed him who was in control!!

Stupid slut.

Slightly amusing but not really a story

Would have liked a bit more but I realise it's a 750 word story. However, it seems incomplete - no background, nothing from the husband, no aftermath for either of them. He demolishes his house - what are the repercussions from that? I think you could resubmit this as a longer story that would add some emotion.

The game is "Escalation." Always think ahead to the next players turn.

The key to shorts is to stay on topic. The hall of fame bit was a distraction imho.

What is the actual point of this alleged story?

Ah ok, so I guess we're going to get the story bit by bit.

Ok, I'll wait. Got a funny feeling this is gonna be a cuck story.

But I do like it you mentioned great bands -- yeah, I guess we share on that taste.

I don't have any gripes on Fats Domino, James Brown, or Chuck Berry. Heck, these artists were influential to other music greats in later generations. I do however a bit agree with Ray Charles as I never heard of him till I saw the video of "We Are The World" during its premiere TV showing on MTV in the '80s. I am more familiar with Marvin Gaye than Mr. Charles. But maybe because I am not American, born in Asia, Mr. Charles didn't get enough exposure in my part of Asia for me to know how good he was in the '60s.

5* just for the rant about the R&R Hall of Fame.

The story was rubbish, but you made me laugh!I

Don't stop writing!

If you call that a good story, I never want to know your bad stories! 1*!!!

Really lame. You make a political statement on the rR Hall of Fame don’t put it in this category ._

Stop writing you racist piece of sh**

Racist crap

That's a 1 star, unfinnished

Should been longer

stupid shitty ending

Pretty good and quick fun. We are still guessing which is good but some won't like that.

Congratulations! If part 1 was stupid, you succeed in writing a part 2 even more stupid! 1*

incomplete

lmfao

didn t expect the ending but it was funny

wonder how her control over her immature husband is now

wonder how his lesson is working out for her

wonder how she likes her husband`s latest prank ... i loved it

wonder if she finds she has an STD and lives a miserable life

Love it..... Its funny as hell!!!

5

Weak. And seemingly just a life support system for the cab ride rant.

Should have run over her, by mistake, of course...

This was more a rant about the MUsic hall of fame than a story. Hopefully your demons have been Exercised 1 *

If you're going to write a follow-up to another story, at least give it's name, if not a link.

That one way to tell screw you.

This isn't even an installment. Everything you've I have written could be put into one installment.

He got the last prank!!!!

Too many words spent on the unrelated Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, and nothing on what he was doing with the dozer.

And I remember reading the other story about the prank with her clothes. But that was by a different author, and you don't say anything about what he did.

Three or 4 more sentances at the end would have made it better. You shorted yourself as welll as the story.

sorry this HAD a lot of potential. her rants seemed to be just "filler" for a flash story? Demolishing the house and laughing didn't seem appropriate, even if he was a jokester.

Seriously? You barely mention the prank with the clothes then one other prank with lightbulbs. Then paragraphs of a rant about the rock and roll hall of fame which had nothing to do with the story. then the house was bulldozed. As a story this was poorly done. You did not need 750 words for this. Poorly done.

If you are going to continue another story, please reference that story in yours with the author’s permission or at least an attempt at permission. The story had a good beginning (but again from another author), but the constant talking of the R&R Hall of fame to fill in more than have the story killed it for me. I understand what happened at the end but there could have been more.

What a great idea, let's raze our house! Some of these stories are so moronic.

Does op realize that machine is a earth mover?

Another divorced guy writing drivel for therapy.

not much of a story...unless it was about the rock n roll hall of fame

That's it? I will give you *** for this1, hope your next will be more developed

She could of just been a cheater. She didn't have to also be a deranged racist.

Of coarse, someone really did do this a few years ago. I wonder how much trouble he got into for that?

Not enough detail to know whatvthe heck was going on

...........and

Do not think insurance will cover this!

I don't like to trash anyone who is trying to provide us entertainment, especially on their first try. There was a lot of build up and suddenly at the end the husband is on a bulldozer? Reading this story was like a premature ejaculation because it went off before things really got started. I mean, the husband could have drawn her a nice bath, put her in to soak with a nice glass (bottle) of wine, soothing relaxing music so she could drift off to sleep, THEN bulldoze the house with her in it. Much more entertaining ending.

The wife still came across like an immature child and you only gave the husband one sentence in the whole story. I like the idea of a follow-up but I’m not sure this qualifies.

He said nothing from nothing leaves nothing

Awesome! Just a D4?? 😏

As a short study of a woman with an exaggerates sense of privilege, this worked well. One of the more amusing aspects of stories like this is that the wife thinks what she brings to the marriage is so exceptional that the husband will accept any form of abuse. I guess she learned differently and I assume the divorce came next?

Predictable and grammar was bad to the point of being distracting. 3*

Nope, no story here. What does the Rocak and Roll Hall of Fame have to do with anything. Didn't make any sense. This is a 2 sentence story, at best.

Having a hard time finding anything redeeming in this one. The only part that was kind of fun was the contrast in the husband's behavior. On one trip she came home to find the lights all unscrewed. It did make the flattened (I assume since it wasn't said directly) house kind of a funny escalation into the absurd. The RRHoF rant was at best totally wasted space in a 750 word story, as others said.

Good short story that you stepped on with your commentary on the selection of the Rock-N-Roll Hall of Fame. Stories are written to entertain, not for political or social commentary. If you want to be a commentator, start a blog. Your stories will be better received by the public and your blog followers will think you are brilliant. The ones that think you are an ass just won't follow your blog. Win, win for everyone.

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? Seriously? Laughable story.

Punctuating Dialogue: If a paragraph doesn’t begin with a quotation mark, that indicates it’s narrative. When one character is speaking and is not uninterrupted by narrative or another character talking, every paragraph starts with a mark, but only the last one has a closing mark.

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As others pointed out, considering how much of it was the driver's rant, it wasn't much of a story.

Really very fucking lame

I’m hoping the divorced idiot who wrote this is feeling better about his miserable life. At least you made the gutter trash btb crowd happy.

@Creeperclaw, there was another story, I'm sorry that I can't remember the name, where the husband was a prankster, and swapped his wife's comfortable underwear for sexy lingerie, and her revenge was to cheat, film it and send him the recording.

Grammar was bad.

The story was thinner then the IQ margin between a rock and MAGA cultist buuuuuuut I did enjoy what you were trying to do.

What the hell was this? He messed with her clothes? What the fuck? Stupid story, yeah, it wasn't a willing cuck story but not much better. Rock and Roll? Where you drunk when you wrote this?

A lot less rock and roll and a lot more hubby and you would have had a five star winner. You developed her spoiled ass entitled character very well. And just a hint of a kaboom ending!

Was fun to read though it seems it leaves you short of a complete story line. Disappointed but maybe there's a sequel coming..

Well, that was awful.

Reference the other story stupid!

As follow-up to two recent stories about a wife's anger at hubby messing with her clothes, this was needed. It could have been better, but it doesn't take much to show that cheating as revenge for clothes tampering is absurb too.

someone unscrewed to many light bulbs

What a terrible story. And to rage against certain artist in the R&R Hall of Fame? Chuck Berry not in the Hall of Fame? Are you kidding me? He is, along with 2 others were arguably the creators of Rock and Roll. Most music historians name him as such. How would you leave the originator of rock and roll out of the R&R Hall of Fame?

No story, leadup, follow up, what happened between them to provoke her insanity, no reasoning why he (I suppose) levelled the house. Nothing about what the husband felt when receiving the videos. Yeah, we all KNOW what he felt, but something should be in the story.

Just seemed like the author wanted to put a bunch of words together & call it a story. 1 star -- Bob

The wife destroyed her marriage, so the husband destroyed both his and her halves of their real estate investment? I thought only He had married stupid. Now I can understand why she was fucking around and sending the dumb shit husband photos. Stupid people live fucked up lives. Who knew? Thanks for the effort. And the extra low carbon foot print.

Where's the story, sorry but why didn't you finish it?

Great read. Especially for a first effort! 5 big stars

I don't care what the others are saying, I loved it!

Most of this doesn't makes a lick of sense. Not her video reaction to his pranks. Not her thinking he would now kiss her ass because of the videos. Not 50% of the "story" being an out of the blue rant about the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in response to the one thing the cabbie said during the long ride home.

Two stars.

Loved it need a sequel

Do not play jokes on the joke master. LP

I feel like I missed part 1.

Definitely needs a sequel.

Just a little follow up… to what?

To what story were you following up?

I thought it was funny. Little all over the place, funny none the less. The one thing I have learned in life those that think they have rarely do by merit or dominance it was given to them. What was given can easily be taken away.

Guess he showed her. Four stars ⭐️ for this one.

Will there be a Part 2?

Well, she bulldozed her home and the love of her husband. What does she expect?

not sure why he stopped and jumped down before her ran her over and hurried her with the rest of the rubble.

This Is the sequel of "Unintended Consequences" by Writer_FM

https://www.literotica.com/s/unintended-consequences-7

Really weird. What an asshole of a husband who delights in antagonizing people. Maybe she should bull doze his life with an expensive divorce.

First story! Be careful that you don't shoot yourself in the foot.

4

Needed more in the finish great build up then let down at the end

I read this immediately after the original. I thought it was even worse right from the start but then the hall of fame. SMDH. The reason for reading a BTB story is for the actual burn which you left completely out. I was going to give this a two because the original was just that bad but I couldn't after I had finished it.

If you want to correct what YOU perceived to be something at fault in an original piece than at least do that, not whatever this was.

Had no idea of the context of this effort until I found something mentioned in the comments by one of the other unfortunate readers. No, I wasn’t impressed enough to search out another writers’ story just to find out what the hell this one was talking about. Note to author: Next time, reference the writer and story you are attempting to sequel unless it is your own work.

The R&R Hall of Fame harangue was funny! Misguided, but funny!

If I could score in the negative, I would. Maybe quit while you're way behind.

What a racist idiot this author is

Yes. You are angry and white. Joe Biden can write a better story

Thank God that was short because it’s pure crap . So grateful that you haven’t written any more stories.

No ending or what happened that sucks.