All Comments on 'Relation with Moms Friend Pt. 02'

Thanks for the read. Get an editor. Keep writing you will only get better.

You want feedback? Here it is.

It is obvious you are framing your sentences in a vernacular language, probably Hindi and transliterating it. The result is crappy English.

You don’t know how to write erotica or porn or about sex, even in the vernacular as is obvious in the way your sentences are framed, so do some reading, learn how to write properly, get yourself an editor and preferably publish here in the language you are comfortable with.

I think the most preferred thing we readers would like is that you stop publishing here till you have learnt to write.

IT IS QUITE EVIDENT THAT ENGLISH IS NOT YOUR PRIMARY LANGUAGE. YOUR SENTENCE COMPOSITION IS TRANSLATED FROM I AM GUESSING HINDI, WHICH MEANS THAT MOST LIKELY YOU ARE FROM INDIA. YOU NEED A PROOFREADER TO EDIT AND CORRECT THE SPELLING MISTAKES AS WELL. PLEASE DO NOT WRITE ANY FURTHER STORIES UNTIL YOU HAVE MASTERED THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE AND ALSO HAVE AN EDITOR

7

Very poor English. Why don't you share your experience in your own language if Literotica publishes in your language. Secondly, in your narration, don't go with the bullet train speed.

Flesh out ( pun indented ) your stories . These two were good, but they need to be more developed .

I would like more detail about your further encounters with Auntie. I would read more episodes if they were available.