Rena Raye Rowe 02

I can't believe it's a dead tie. I've seen 271 Vampire movies and 271 guys on Chang want the Farmer's Daughter to milk their udders. What are the odds of that happening, right?

And I see you lurking Lester, which means you need to look elsewhere for your full glass of milk. Andi Andrews didn't pull your milkshake and neither am I. Well, not this weekend anyways. And I will make that very clear today when you come over to finish working on your Race for Health volunteer project. And as previously mentioned, all those seductive meal deliveries are history. In other words, Lester can finish with the little red truck and move along. I mean, don't lose my number just yet, but move along, you know, so my fake rebound looks better.

I can, however, feed Derek because he is coming over first and he remained innocent in all of this. I know he is responsible for setting Lester up on the blind date with Andi Andrews, but he didn't know what was going on at that time, so he's innocent and he can have a meal and a show.

Unfortunately for me, I have less to hide down there than a real girl with a thick bush, so my work out tights will be just fine for a little show and tell and because it's such a nice day, I'll throw on a Mud Hens logo crop top, just to finish off the look.

"Derek, I'm going to get you a Cheeseburger meal. I'll be back in 10."

"Ah, OK, thanks, but listen, I didn't mean for all that drama to happen. I mean, I didn't know what was going on. I'm innocent in all of this. Are you pissed at me?"

"No Derek, I agree that you are innocent. Coffee or a cola?"

"Coffee and then can you show me where your bathroom is and then can we accidently end up in your bed?"

"Derek!"

"We can keep it a secret if you want, but I want a sexual relationship."

"Derek!"

"Hey, you keep running around in those shorts. Leave the drama to Lester, I want to bring the dick."

"Derek!"

Holy snap, I did not see that coming today. I mean for 5 days he said 30 words to me and today he wants a personal tour of my bedroom? That's some serious holy snap folks. As a matter of fact, his directness had me so shook up that I parked and went inside the fast-food restaurant to order. And if I'm not mistaken, a few of these customers and workers may recognize me from #FarmersDaughter trend last night. Either that or my little nub is more visible than I thought or OMG, both!

"Excuse me? Ah, Miss Rena Raye Rowe? The Farmers Daughter from last night, right? Yes, hi, listen could we get a few selfies with you? I promise we'll be quick and we'll be kind on Chang."

"Ah, sure, I suppose so."

"And I want to know if you would be willing to work a promotional on my farm during the Race for Health next weekend? They run past the front of the farm and all you need to do is smile and hand out hardboiled eggs. They're a great source of energy and a lot of the runners like them."

"Ah, sure, give me your number."

"Hell, I just want to why you haven't accepted my "mate me" request yet?"

"Ah, because there's no such thing????"

"That's enough people. Come on up babe and tell me what you want. I'll double charge the next customer."

Just how many holy snap moments can I have in 30 minutes anyways? And by that, I mean they also sell these exercise shorts in bright blue too and I can't wait to buy them.

"Here you go Rena Raye Rowe, four double cheeseburger deluxe meals and all of the coffee, all on the next customer. Listen sweetie, if you want that lousy Lester out of the picture, you just speak up. Me and my girls will explain things to him, if you know what I mean."

"Ah, thanks Big Bertha, but no explaining will be required. I rebounded nicely last night and I already have another rebound waiting for one of these Cheeseburgers, but thanks. OMG Big Bertha, you want a selfie too?"

"It's for our crew leader babe. He likes the farm life. Maybe you should come around again next Saturday about this time and I'll hook you up with Dark Veins. He's cool. You tread on Rena Raye Rowe and way to double rebound. Peace."

"Shoot. Sorry Big B, but I have Race for Health commitments all next weekend, but you tell Dark Veins that I said SUP."

Well, look at how my day is going, will you? I'm totally out of my comfort zone by wearing these THOT shorts out in public, I have Derek at home being way to forward, a few #FarmersDaughter fans, a fund raiser event public appearance and Big B trying to hook me up with a thug named Dark Veins. I mean, as soon as I cap all of this off by kicking Lester to curb, hell I'm chalking this Saturday as Rena Raye Rowe's best day ever, right?

"Lunch Derek. Eat up."

"Thanks Rena Raye Rowe. I'm starving."

While he ate, I actually sent a confirmation text to the farm and I may have hinted on my Chang page that a Farmer's Daughter appearance would be announced soon. Seriously, how many people just sit there and stare at the screens waiting for a post? I mean, boom, boom, boom came the likes and comments and life on the farm hashtags and stuff.

"All finished Derek? I'll clean it up. You have other things to deal with."

"Such as?"

"Well and hold on to your shoestrings, but how secret would we be? And what do you want the most and when?"

"Whoa, very secret and a blow job on the front seat of Lester's truck, right now."

"And no more, for now at least? And no posting, right?"

I guess, in other words, Derek is still a man of few words. And with another I guess, it would appear that I'm somewhat sexually active now. I mean, that's 2 out of the 3 big ones and Derek keeps mumbling about calling me next weekend and the next and the next, so, who knows, right?

"I hope that was good for you Derek, but let me make it clear that you might have to spank me before that happens again. Hush and get back to work, Lester is just pulling in. Oh, by the way, you noticed that I didn't pull you out, right?"

All Derek noticed was that the front seat of the truck was clean as a whistle, which means, hey, I did my job. And then it occurred to me that he may have wanted me to leave a little mess behind as to say move along Lester, she's my slut now.

"There's a cold Cheeseburger meal for you over there, Lester. Eat it and don't bother me. I need to brush my teeth. Oh, you like my work out shorts, do you? It's too bad you'll never see my new blues ones. By the way, Andi dumped you, right? And by another way, if you want a hot Cheeseburger, then just run up to "Burnt Burgers" and ask for Big Bertha. Tell her that Rena Raye Rowe sent you. And in case I forgot, ah, Andi dumped you, right? Bye Derek and thank you."

Hah, look at Derek out there in the barn smiling and stuff and look at Lester out there in the barn eating a cold Cheeseburger and looking at Derek like he's trying to figure a few things out. And OMG, look who is coming up the sidewalk with a two shopping bags, will you? Well, I don't know who it is, but it's a petite girl with two shopping bags, so what could go wrong, right?

"Well, hello young lady, how may I help you today?"

"Hi. I'm Audrey Anne Andrews and my sister said you need what's in these two bags. My sister also said that you have to agree with everything I say today. May I come in?"

"You may indeed. So, you're Andi' sister, huh? By the way, just why would Andi send you over here and OMG, are those Demin bib overalls?"

"LOL, they are, but that's not important right now. But here, this is a business card for some chick at a clothing store in Hillsdale. Anyways, my sister said that I should explain to you that I'm home for the summer after my first year at Coastal and my sister said it's OK if I tell you that living onsite at college is great, but being poor at college isn't and OMG, I have three more years to go. My sister said I might be able to convince you for a monthly allowance."

"LOL, I've known for sister for a short time, but she sure says a lot, doesn't she? Now, your sister has talked me into a business offer that benefits us both, so what's your proposal?"

"My sister says that because I'm the young tender age of 19 then I get big breaks when it comes to keeping things even and equal. My sister also made me practice batting my eyes all night. Oh, my sister also told me about a few things and my sister says that we don't ever have to talk about that."

"Go on about how your sister runs her mouth."

"My sister says that I can do your housework and fix up the loft in the barn and my sister says that you will pay me weekly. My sister also says that you should let me drive that Mustang over there all summer. It matches the eyes that I'm batting at you now."

"Well, again, your sister talks a lot, doesn't she? However, have you considered that getting paid weekly won't help your financial situation this fall because you will just spend it all summer?"

"Hah, my sister already said something about that, but can we leave to last please? Right now, my sister says that I will do most of your fem product shopping so you're not so embarrassed, which brings me back to that green Mustang right over there, you know, for the rest of summer. If you had a sister, I think she would side with me, right?"

"Oh, I'm sure my sister would say that you're probably not done yet, right?"

"Well, my sister says that you need to get rid of those guys out there in barn so we can go to Hillsdale so that lady can fit you in those "down on the farm" bibs. My sister also says that I should be nice to you and drive you both ways, you know, in my summer Mustang. Oh, and my sister says that we never discuss boys because we may like the same one, and I'm not judging. Now, what I say is that you need to get lost in my 19 years old eyes and hand over my keys."

"Well, I'll need a few minutes to get rid of the guys and to slip something over these exercise shorts."

"Cool, I'll need a few minutes to rummage around your house and to reset everything you screwed up in my car. By the way, my sister says that you will feel better about all of this in a couple of weeks. By the way, did you seriously greet the guys this morning in those shorts?"

"I was feeling good about myself and I had a weak moment."

"Oh, you were horny? And let's see, if everyone in Middleton has kicked Lester to the curb, then who remains, right? LOL, go while I find my new gas card from your dresser."

Whatever, right? I mean I have a hashtag to live up to and a couple of things to get fitted. And you know what you can do when you own the place? Go out the barn and clear the place out for day and you can also do that before you slip something over these workout tights, which are really no more than thick modesty undies, right?

The good news during the drive to Hillsdale was that I had a little time to read the Owner's Manual out loud. The bad news was that she grabbed it out of hand and threw it out the window. The really bad news is that a new set of tires will be needed soon.

"OK Rena Raye Rowe, you know how this works, right? I'm the poor college girl with the big green eyes, so I get stuff too and you just shut it. By the way, the word is that the Barbie Doll may be a little touchy and feely, so don't freak out. I think she means well."

And a big holy snap here, look at the clothes in this place, will you? I mean, if you're going to a formal cocktail party, then this isn't the place to shop.

"Hello folks. Welcome to Gary's. I'm Frankie and I will be embarrassing you all afternoon. So, you're the hashtag girl, huh? Listen, don't go all freaky if Tori just throws away the clothes that you brought for her to customize. She and Andi Andrews have been lovers in the past. And you, my cute little Raspberry Pop Tart, well, I guess you come with me."

I don't know what those two were doing, but Frankie sent me into a shredding machine. Tori didn't throw both of the overalls away, but they will never be the same again and in a good way, I think.

"There, that's better. This one is a little modest and this one will allow the peaks of your globes to be noticed. So, did Andi say anything about me?"

"OMG, yes, but she wants to stretch medical science to it's limits. She wants to take her eggs and mix them with your eggs and freeze them until one of you find Mr. Right and then produce a super baby."

"Oh, she only gave you half of the story then. You're Mr. Rich Right and her sister Audrey will be the surrogate. LOL, and we all end up in jail. By the way, be sure to watch your full condoms flush down the toilet. So, Audrey is shy sometimes."

"Really? Just when is that? OMG, you know what's she's saving for last, right?"

"Well, let me start out by saying that Andi and I French kiss and your Mustang will never be yours again. I'll follow that up with you can't touch her, but Frankie is fitting Audrey with a few things that you will enjoy while she makes your coffee every Saturday and Sunday morning. I mean, you're a freak like that, right? And knowing Frankie and her talents, it will be worth a few hundred bucks a month for food. I shouldn't say anything else, unless you are jealous of Andi and I and you want to hear more and what I mean by that, is I want you to get hard so I peek at what Andi talks about on Chang."

"You and Andi play tongue tag? I am hard."

"You are not hard. OMG, seriously? LOL, so I really don't need to worry about you messing with Audrey. Sorry for giggling, Rena Raye Rowe, #girl. Listen, keep my number handy. I can hook you up with plenty of guys and clothing."

"Well, there were a few things out there that I think I meant like, but not in front of, you know, pure and innocent Audrey, the poor little college girl, so I'll come back some day."

"Look, it may seem like we're ganging up on your money, but try this out. Give Audrey what she needs, not what she wants and then give what she wants because OMG, have you looked at her hair? Oh, by the way, I'm sure Frankie will have selected a few things for you. Check your bags when you get home, just don't check the sales receipt."

After that I learned that the trunks in Mustangs are either too small or we walked out with too many bags.

"Thanks, Rena Raye Rowe. So, do you want to kiss me, you know, to seal our deal?"

"Do I get a coffee in the morning?"

"Ooh, I'm nervous about that, but I'm also excited about that. By the way, if we have a few shots on Wednesday night in celebration of the business contract you sign with my sister and we accidently end up in your bed, well, I wouldn't be mad about that. But we should have enough shots so we don't remember anything in the morning, you know, so things are normal between us. Which, we probably shouldn't tell my sister about. So, sealed with a kiss?"

That was a pretty small kiss as a way of sealing such a big contract. I mean, I'm not even doing that math in my head, but her sister Andi will see it in her profits goals, that's for sure.

"Cool. My sister says I'm helping you run a volunteer tent this weekend at the Race for Health event and by that, I mean don't be shocked at how skimpy a few of my new clothes are. I mean, I'm still just 19 and that's how we do it. By the way, is it getting too late in the day for you to have a coffee and by that, I mean I want to try a few on things and by that, I mean can we order some wheels for my car and by that, I mean I can post that I'll be the "better off" girl at college this coming semester and by that, I mean my eyes are doing the trick, right?"

"Well, when we get home, I'm looking around for a roll of duct tape first. But if you get us home fast enough, then it's not too late for one cup. And I hate to say it, but the volunteer tent is for a city sponsored 50-50 Raffle and extra skin may increase sales. As far as dorm life goes, don't flaunt it, just life better."

"Alright, but we kissed, so the deal is sealed. By the way, my math says I have about three years to live the wild life and you have about three years of this thing that you do, so maybe our relationship continues for longer than either of us think and by that, I mean it's obvious that you like my perky little tits and given my body size, I don't see that changing for years to come. I mean, according to Andi and Tori I'm carrying your baby anyways, right?"

"Can we stop by the hardware store on the way home? I mean, the duct tape in the garage might be old. However, as the first person to remind me that I live on borrowed time, I would never close any doors with you. So, one week at a time, alright? We should go."

"I'm peeling out, you know."

"With a baby in the car?"

"I'm having the tent worker girls over next Saturday night after the event."

"A party in barn?"

"Nope. Hold onto the baby tight."

"No boyfriends."

"Back at you, LOL."

All I know is that she makes a great cup of double-double bold and OMG, this one pair of bib overalls is not meant for public viewing. In the barn, absolutely, but at a Race for Health event, well, I don't think so. Kelli's Closet maybe, not where families hang out. I mean, I'll send a link to my Chang to the farmer to see what he thinks, but I'll be prepared for a firm no or maybe a firm rod in return.

End Rena Raye Rowe 02