Replaced Ch. 01

I was breathing a sigh of relief when Sharon's phone rang. "What's up, Mom?" she asked as she answered.

"Have you heard from your Dad or brother this morning?" Sheila asked. Sharon said Darren had called Rachael this morning, not too long ago. "Why do you have me on speaker?" Sharon smoothly answered they were getting ready to eat breakfast. She was pouring milk and needed her hands free. "Were they at the camp yet?" my wife asked.

"Nope." Sharon answered. "He was sitting in the truck while Dad was in a liquor store buying beer. He said they had to wait a while for the store to open and he was bored. So he called Rachael to talk. That's what woke us up. We were gonna sleep in. Now we are getting ready to eat." Sheila told her to have fun at the spa. "Are you sure you don't want to go, Mom?" Sheila said she had too much to do and said goodbye. "Yeah, I'm sure she had some stuff to do. Or SOMEONE to do." Sharon added bitterly as she hug up.

"Do you think she used that locator app before she called?" I asked. "It sounded like she was fishing."

"Let's find out." Sharon said and examined my phone. "No but she has used it several times in the past month. That is as far back as the history reports. Let's see what days these are. Yeah. Every Wednesday and Friday just before noon. Well, except week before last. She skipped that week." Sharon colored slightly as she said. "I know why that was. Mom had her period then." Darren asked her why she tracked their Mom's period. "I don't. I track mine. Mom and I have our periods at almost the same time. Remember your biology? Females who live together tend to synch up their cycles. An evolutionary thing." Rachael and Karen nodded.

"I wonder how long this affair had been going on." I said. "At least a month obviously. I am guessing she was checking where I was at that time of day in case I stopped by the house or met up with at her office. I occasionally take her out to lunch." Make that TOOK, I thought wryly. " I wonder why she would take the risk of using our house, though. It seems like it would be easy to get caught. Even if I was across town and you guys were at school, a neighbor might notice a strange car in the drive often and say something."

"Well, I imagine motels get expensive after a while." Karen offered. "I am guessing they normally park in the garage. Then the cars aren't visible. But why did the guy park outside yesterday?"

"My truck was in my spot inside. We had it half loaded and I did not want to risk something getting stolen." I said making sense of the puzzle. "Today, my car is in there. The guy had to park outside." Everybody looked at me as they took it all in.

"So what happens now, Dad?" Sharon asked. "What are you going to do?" I paused a few seconds before I answered.

"Short term or long term?" I asked quietly. "Long term, I honestly cannot see our marriage surviving. I am going to divorce Sheila." Both Sharon and Darren stiffened reflexively as they thought about it. "Could I respect myself if I let your mother get away with this? We made a vow when we got married. I know it sounds like a cliche but that was supposed to be before God. I lived by my vow." I almost broke down. This hurt to say. I had to say it though. "Your mother has shown a level of disrespect that is just too much to forgive. If I let her get away with it, she would never really respect me again either. It would just be a matter of time before she cheated again."

"Now short term is a more pressing problem." I admitted. "I'm not quite sure what to do. This is Saturday morning." I looked at my wristwatch. "It is only ten. It feels like afternoon. Okay. For now, I do not want your mother to get the idea we know what she has been doing. I need some time to process this and figure out what I need to do. I can't talk to anybody until Monday anyway. Or do any real business."

Karen cleared her throat and looked at me. "What am I, chopped liver?" she asked. "I have an idea of some of the things you will need to consider. Or did you forget I am a paralegal? We don't do divorces but the guy in the office next door does. He is pretty good. We generally refer our clients needing family law to him and if it has to do with estates or investment funds, he refers to us." I had not forgotten Karen's career. I just knew she worked for a lawyer with whom I did a lot of business as an accountant and investment counselor. I told her thanks and said I would appreciate her advice. "Well like you said, you cannot do much until Monday."

"Here is what you are facing. In this state you will split all your community property 50/50 unless you have some kind of pre-nup that excludes something." I shook my head and she continued. "That includes your investment accounts and sometimes retirement accounts. The money you put away for Sharon and Darren for college is not included even though your names are on the accounts. Anything else is fair game. As soon as you file or she files, the balances of the accounts are set. But sometimes people mess with those amounts to screw the other over. Say Sheila gets the idea you know what she has been doing. She goes out and spends a bunch of money. She could go to Neiman Marcus and buy a whole pile of expensive dresses, shoes and handbags. Run up a bill amounting to thousands of dollars. She keeps the receipts. Later, after the lawyers seal the accounts, she returns everything. Even if they charge her a restocking fee, she is way ahead. The courts generally consider jewelry as part of the community property but look past a person's clothing. They mainly look at the value of accounts and other physical property."

"Where did you get that idea of her going on a spending spree?" I asked. "You almost make it sound like you have a plan."

Karen smiled. "That divorce lawyer's paralegal is a friend of mine. She tells me some wild stories. She has told me all kinds of stories of how women and men get caught cheating and all the ploys they use to hide money. Some are illegal as Hell and if you get caught you can even get jail time but people still try. The clothing thing is something that women get away with. It is why you want to cancel your joint credit cards first thing. Plus split any checking, savings or investment accounts. BUT you don't want to alert your spouse too early. You want to be in the position of power. Move all at once."

I was reeling. "What do you really suggest I do now? Today?" I asked.

"Nothing. Act normal. Go to your fish camp, fish, drink beer and think. Write notes about what you have that is of value. Don't talk to Sheila if you think you might lose your temper and give yourself away. These two seem have convinced her that her secret is still that, a secret. Rachael, Sharon and I are going to keep our reservation at the spa tomorrow. We'll get pampered like we intended. We'll be home Tues afternoon or early evening. Sharon will stay with us. If she needs something from your house, she can go over and get it when she knows Sheila is at work. We'll just extend her time with us for the rest of Spring break. Okay with you Sharon?" My daughter nodded her head. "Frank, you take Darren to the lake and have fun. Well as much fun as you can under the circumstances. Come back Tuesday or so when you have at least sort of a plan. Or a firm intention you can bounce off a lawyer. I can make a call and get you an appointment if you want to use the guy next door I told you about. Unless you have your own lawyer of course." I shook my head and told her to get me an appointment. "Ed's a good guy. I think you'll like him."

I took Karen aside before we left. I noticed the kids went off together to talk privately. "Thanks a lot Karen. I really appreciate your help." I saw tears appear in her eyes. I was puzzled. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing." she answered. "I was just thinking that your family is going to suffer a great tragedy. It is going to break apart. The good thing is the kids are about to graduate high school. I went through something like this years ago. It hurts." I gave her a hug. I did not realize until later her hug back was a little more clingy than the friendly hug of the mother of my daughter's best friend should be.

Darren and I drove to the fish camp without talking a whole lot. Neither of us wanted to play the radio, which I offered several times. "Okay, before we get to the camp and talk with your uncle and cousin, is there anything you want to talk about?" Darren shook his head.

Then he relented. "Actually I was thinking about what you might be going through." he said abruptly. "I really like Rachael. We are still in high school and I know the odds are we won't be together in the future. We are super close but it's not like we are married and......"

I waited quietly until he was ready to continue. "I thought about seeing her with another guy. Not after we broke up, but while I thought everything was cool and we were together. That bothers me. Seriously. It sort of gives me an idea of what you are going through with Mom. I can't even imagine the feeling you must have now. You've been with Mom for twenty years!" I nodded. I barely kept myself from crying.

I stopped and bought a few more cases of beer. My brother might have brought some, but now I knew I wanted to have plenty more on hand. I also knew you can call a credit card company and they list the last several purchases. I wanted one listed for this morning that would match a beer purchase. I might be overthinking Sheila's desire to maintain her secret life and check up on me but I did not care. "Well, I didn't exactly lie to Mom about us stopping for more beer." Darren offered with a grin to lighten the mood. "Just the time was off. I did lie about who grabbed the inhaler though.You picked it up."

Robert greeted me with a cold beer as soon as we pulled up to the cabin. He introduced his friend Dave and his son Eric. Darren, his cousin and Eric were delegated to unload the truck and haul everything inside. I noticed they started with the beer. Robert was eying me suspiciously. "You wanta tell me what's up now or later in private?" Dave stepped away quietly to give us space. I called Dave back and told him he might as well hear it too. It would not be a secret long as I'd be dwelling on it for the next few days.

I explained the morning's events, including the discussion at Karen's house. Dave surprised me when he said."I went through a divorce last year for the same reason. My wife decided she'd rather ride her boss's dick than mine." We waited until the boys finished hauling everything inside to continue our talk. The boys wanted to get started fishing so they pulled out the pirogues and their tackle. Each boy was allowed a single can of beer.

Darren grinned at the other boys and announced. "This is so we don't go far. We'll have to paddle back for refills often." I started to correct him and tell him not that often, but when both Robert and Dave laughed, I kept quiet. The legal drinking age is of course twenty one, but nobody would really care out here. It was unlikely we would see anybody else anyway. Maybe a passing boat out in the channel.

"So you can give me some advice on what kinds of things I should do." I said to Dave.

"Oh yeah. I learned a lot." Dave said. "First thing I learned is do NOT even offer to kick the asshole's butt. I got slapped with a restraining order so fast it made my head spin. I got it removed but that is later in my story. Let me get another beer and I'll tell you." I could tell he and Robert had already been indulging a bit before I got there. As Dave began his story, his slight Cajun accent deepened. "I told the pissant I was gonna use his balls as crawfish bait. Then I said I might have to include his pecker because his balls didn't look big enough bait to attract any mudbugs. The guy had that all written in his affidavit. I got a copy framed on my living room wall." He grinned widely.

"I'd caught the peckerwood balls deep in my wife's pussy with her bent over the desk in his office. I'd already known he was doin' her. She'd been acting a little strange for a while. I found out later it was typical cheatin' wife stuff. Stayin' late after work. Drinks with her coworkers after work. That kinda crap. And if I had to work overtime on a Saturday, I found out from the kids she'd take off to do some shopping. Grocery shopping does not take half the day." Robert corrected him and said he never made his men work on a Saturday unless they were behind on a particular project but offered them time frequently because he knew some of the men liked the extra pay and it brought in extra jobs. Dave nodded. "Yeah, the money was sure welcome, I tell ya. Specially with the new furniture and fancy car my wife just had to have."

"Anyway, one of my buddies confirmed it. He was dating a girl in the same office and she was griping about the boss poppin' one of the women in the office. I guessed who that was. I talked to her and found out him and the wife was goin' out for long lunches a coupla times a week for a while. Then he started doing her right there in his office. They tried to hide it and not make a big deal out of it, but the women knew what was going on. Later it turned out he was not only slipping her his dick, he was slipping her some money on the side. She had a little bank account she thought was hidden because it was in a different bank."

"When I first found out, I had her followed to get proof. That was wasted money. You don't need proof in this state. But I wanted her to know she was caught dead to rights and so I could show her family and friends what a cheating bitch she was. The day I confronted her, I just walked into her office and asked the girl at the front desk where she was. The deer in the headlights look she gave me told me she knew what was going on. She started to pick up her phone to call back and I grabbed her hand and shook my head. I swear, she kinda smiled at me. I went on back and tried the handle real slow like. It was locked like I expected. I had my phone out, recording. I kicked the door hard, right by the handle. That is harder to do than it looks on TV. I was wearing heavy boots and my foot still hurt like a son of a bitch after. I'm not big, but I am stout and that door did not stand a chance. It flung back and there they were. Both naked as jaybirds, her bent over and him pounding away. They spun around and were too surprised to even cover up. I kept filming for a few seconds as they stood gaping at me. Both their mouths opening and closing like carp. Then they started yelling at me to get out and grabbing for their clothes they had laid over the chairs."

"I called my wife a cheating bitch and him a few names and then told him about what I ought to do with his pecker and balls. I turned around and about everybody in the whole building were there gathered around to watch. With so many witnesses of what I threatened, he got the restraining order easy."

"Damn!" I said. I was laughing at the telling despite myself. Robert had of course heard it before, probably several times. He had tears in his eyes as he laughed. "Didn't you file for divorce or at least talk to a lawyer?"

"Hell yeah!! I already done did both. She got served them papers the same day. I just wanted to put on a show, expose the bitch to one and all. My lawyer told me to NOT do what I did, but I could not resist, ya know?" Dave said grinning.

"You don't seem to be too upset about it now." I observed. "Didn't you say this just happened last year? I would think your feelings would be a little raw still."

"Oh, it hurt. Especially at first." Dave said. "Then I got mad. I'd been with the bitch since high school. Oh she had other guys before and I had done some other girls, but once we married it was supposed to be just me and her. She's just thirty six and not real pretty like model pretty but she was, well is, sexy as Hell. I miss the fuckin'. Hell I miss ALL what we had before she started fucking another man. I get as much fuckin' as I want now. Well almost. I have to work at it a bit. Most want to settle down and I am not ready for that. Not yet."

"Why did your wife cheat? Or did you ever find out?" I asked.

"I think it was combination of wanting a little strange and the money he was slipping her on the side." Dave said, the Cajun story telling accent put aside. "But it sorta came out later she was looking to upgrade. Of course the bastard was married. He was kinda an introduction to her doing better. He wore a suit, not work clothes. She wanted a better status than I gave her. I am guessing here. I probably haven't said a dozen words to her that was not about the kids in the past year."

"Tell him the rest." Robert urged. "That is the funny part." We all needed another beer by this time. Dave grinned as he continued.

"Now I had filed on the bitch first but she got a lawyer right away. Dickhead getting that restraining order was enough for her to get one to keep me out of my own house. She wanted half of everything we owned. I was told she'd get that anyway She also wanted me to pay half the mortgage on the house, alimony and child support. With all the extra work I did, my income was way more than hers. It looked like I was gonna pay big time.The only concession I got was she would be responsible for all the utilities. That took a bit of argument. She wanted me to pay half because of the kids. She griped about that but my lawyer told her that was what the alimony and child support was for.

I found a little place nearby living with another dude. I'll tell ya now, that sucked. Even for a little while. But it gave me a place to put my stuff and sleep. We were in the process of getting all our stuff appraised for value. Ya know, figure how much everything is worth so we could split it. I wanted my guns and boat. She wanted the furniture and all the house stuff and because we still had two underage kids, she'd get to stay in the house. You met Eric. I got a daughter a year younger. She is going to turn seventeen soon. Neither of them was happy with what their Momma did but they were told by the bitch and her lawyer to deal with it."

"My lawyer said different. He said they were old enough to decide who they wanted to live with." Dave continued. "Problem was, depending on the judge, I might still have to pay the bitch child support even if they moved in with me. I talked to a friend who lives over in Texas and that is what happened to him. He said they check everybody going into the court room. If you have a dick, you lose." Robert and I had enough beer all this had us chuckling. Well Robert anyway. I was listening raptly and thinking about my kids' ages. They were both eighteen.

"My kids acted on their own and saved the day." Dave said. "I will swear I had nothing to do with what they did. Actually, I DID have to swear in court because I was accused of instigating the whole thing. I'll admit now I had the original idea of what they could do but my kids took it to a whole 'nother level."

"They told me fuckwad was a regular visitor since I had to move out. Now this was just a coupla weeks after the filing so most of the stuff I told you about our negotiations was still up in the air. Oh, one other thing I learned. The more you argue back and forth, the more you pay the lawyer."

"Here it goes!" Robert said cackling. He had obviously heard it told and I am guessing he relished the story every time.

Dave grinned as he continued, "One afternoon dickhead was over at my former house. Like I said this was just a few weeks after me kicking down his door. Eric waited until he figured dickwad and the bitch were getting it on and he went out onto the front porch. He had a megaphone. You know one of those things where the cops yell at the house 'come out with your hands up'. He had it turned up to the max. Now I know this is accurate because I have seen the video. I even send out copies. It was even on facebook on my wife's page until she deleted it. It is still on mine. I don't bring it up often though. Not every month like I did for a while."