Replaced Ch. 01

"My son stood in the front yard and started broadcasting..."My mother, Lisa Fontenot is upstairs right now screwing her boss Ed Mcbride. Mom is still married to my Dad so she is an adultering whore. Ed Mcbride who lives at, and he read off the dickhead's address, is ALSO married. He is married to Julie Mcbride and has three children. He is also an adulterer."

Now some of our neighbors were already outside. It was mid afternoon on a Saturday. Others came outside when they heard the broadcast. Eric went through his speech again. He started describing Mcbride as Lisa's boss and how he paid the bitch to have sex, taking food out his own children's mouths so he could have fun with a whore."

"You have to be kidding!" I exclaimed. "Your son threw his own mother under the bus publicly to the whole neighborhood?" Dave nodded and took a sip of his beer.

"Wait. It gets better!" Robert declared.

"Well, it did not take long for both the bitch and the asshole to hit the front door." Dave said. "Dickwad was trying to button his pants as he ran. The bitch had on this little robe she wore. It only came down to mid-thigh. It was obvious she was naked under it. Her titties kept popping out as she tried to run outside and tie the thing at the same time."

"Dickwad punched my son. Eric saw it coming and dropped the megaphone and covered his face with both forearms. He took a double punch and fell to the ground and curled up. Dickwad bent over him screaming he was going to kick the shit out of him. The good thing was he did not have shoes. The bitch stood a few feet away yelling how could Eric embarrass her like that and what a piece of shit he was. And how he deserved to get his ass kicked. Neither noticed my daughter standing to one side videoing the whole thing from start to finish. That's how I knew exactly what happened. After about the third kick, Eric tried to move away. The bitch called him a disrespectful little shit and said she ought to kick his ass too. Then they saw my daughter with her phone. The bitch screamed 'Oh fuck! She has a camera!" and Dickwad charged my daughter screaming for her to give him the phone or else. The video ended with that."

"Were they hurt?" I asked. Dave shook his head.

"Nope. The neighbor across the street headed over as soon as Dickhead came out the front door. He knocked the asshole down just as he got started for my daughter and offered to kill him if he tried to get up. She'd already turned and ran anyway. Dickwad was barefoot and could not go fast anyway so he had no chance of catching her. I heard from my daughter later they counted on that. She'd set up the phone to send everything to the cloud. She anticipated dickhead might grab her phone and steal it or break it. Another neighbor had already called 911. As soon as she could, my daughter called me. I broke the restraining order but that was all forgiven later. I was there to watch both the bitch and dickhead cuffed and arrested. It was great!!!" Dave chortled.

"As a result, I got the house, custody of both kids so of course no child support, no alimony. My ex actually has to pay me half the mortgage until both kids leave and we sell the house. Also half the utilities because she had stated that was fair when she wanted it from me. Dickwad got convicted of two counts of assault on a juvenile since he went after both my kids. His wife had already filed to start divorce proceedings because she had my video of him pounding my wife over her desk so all his legal fees were deducted from his half of their assets. He is serving two years in the parish penal farm. The bitch got off. She is on probation which makes me happy because now she can work and pay me my money." Dave laughed so hard I thought he was going to fall over. Robert was laughing as well. I admit I felt a little better seeing somebody got through the experience relatively intact. Dave told me later during our stay and we were both at least relatively sober, the 'bitch's' cheating really did hurt him. He said it would take him a while to trust another woman totally like he had trusted his ex. "No matter how much I love the next woman, I might get a pre-nup just in case. Not going to risk getting burned again." he said.

We talked about a lot of other things over the next few days. I had more monetary assets than Dave, But he had a boat, home, and a serious gun collection like me. His main caution was for me to "not get stupid'.

Not all our conversations were about cheating wives and divorce. I walked out the back door of the cabin the next morning to see Robert bent over the railing. "What are you doing?" I called. One hand reached back waving to tell me to quiet down. His concentration obviously on whatever was down below. I tiptoed forward. He had a fishing rod in his hand. I peaked over. He was trying to lasso the head of a snake sunning on the lower deck with the loop hanging from his fishing rod.

"Oh yeah!" he screamed loudly as he pulled the large reptile up into the air. It writhed and twisted. "I'd seen this done with lizards. It works on snakes too!" he yelled, now holding the pole with both hands.

"You idiot!" I exclaimed. "What the fuck are gonna doing with that thing?" Robert looked over his shoulder at me, a shit-eating grin on his face. I watched as he pulled the snake over the railing. He picked up a large knife and cleanly severed the snake's head. He used the large blade to flip the head of the moccasin into the water.

"I'm gonna use this to bait my trotline!" he answered gleefully. As kids we would go out to the camp and even further into the swamp with our father. We had to start with catching our bait. And if we did not catch anything to eat we would not eat well that night. Of course Dad always made sure we had something. Usually beans and rice. Both could be packed dry. The challenge to provide for ourselves was part of the game. We relished the opportunity to feed ourselves when out in the swamp. Catching a moccasin for bait was taking the game a little too far in my opinion. "Pussy!" Robert accused, grinning. His response was automatic. I caught myself a second later. He had not followed that insult with a reference of my present marital state, or he might very well have found himself over the rail and into the water.

"I'm just not sure I need bait that bad." I joked. "I know how to net some mudbugs or seine for minnows." He grinned back.

"This is more fun!" he said.

Our time at the lake was just what I needed. I had time away from 'real life' to concentrate on something else. Something closer to my roots. Between the group of us, we had packed away pounds of fish fillets to take home. That was Robert's and Dave's goal. Mine was to return with my sanity intact. I wondered where I would store the fish I had. I was not going home. I decided to take it over to Karen's house. We all left the camp content.

Darren and I drove home. 'What are you thinking, Dad?" he asked. "Eric told me how he messed with the guy his Mom was seeing. I'm not sure that would work for us."

"I'm pretty sure it wouldn't." I said. "Don't worry about trying anything on your own. We are in a totally different situation as Dave and Eric. You and Sharon are older. Over eighteen so legally adults. And close to graduation so don't do anything that could get yourselves in trouble. The rest of the stuff will fall how the law dictates."

"You aren't gonna let the guy Mom's doing off the hook are you?" Darren asked, alarmed. I could tell he was wondering about my resolve.

"Hell no!" I said. "I am trying to figure the best way to mess with him.' Darren grinned back. "I just don't want you or your sister risking getting hurt."

Eric had told Darren his side of the story. He caught a couple hard slugs to the head a had bruises where the guy kicked him but bragged it was worth it to nail the bastard. He and his sister had carefully planned what they would do, but it could have turned out badly if the neighbors had not been around.

Before we left the camp everyone agreed to not say a word until all legal action had been settled or at least until Sheila was served. Robert frowned and said he would have to tell his wife but would make sure neither would say a word to Sheila if she happened to call. We suspected she might call him to check my whereabouts since we disabled the locator app. "You know I am gonna have to tell Sharon all about what we talked about at the camp?" Darren asked tentatively. I nodded. There was no way Darren would or even could keep secrets from his sister nor would I ask him to try. He relaxed. I was sure Sharon had some ideas of her own by now. I reminded Darren once again to not do anything stupid and make sure Sharon didn't either. He probably had more influence with her than I did.

Our first stop was Karen's home. The girls had arrived a scant hour before. "We brought back several pounds of catfish and bass fillets. Can we keep the meat in your freezer?" I asked Karen."Of course feel free to cook and eat as much of it as you want." She agreed quickly and said that while she'd love some fish tonight she was sure Darren and I were not in the mood to eat fish again after spending all that time at the lake. I asked her how everything had gone since Darren and I had left Saturday morning.The three kids had already disappeared so we could talk privately.

"Pretty good, actually. I was concerned Sharon was going to have a hard time with it all. She is pretty upset with her mother, which is totally understandable. She broke down at one point the first day and bawled. She said her Mom had fucked up her family and she wished... Well she broke it off there. I've tried to be there for her to talk to. That hasn't worked as well as I had hoped. She talks to Rachael though. I tried to get Rachael to tell me something and she refused. I cant press any harder. I'm sorry, hon." Karen caught herself quickly. "I call everybody hon when we have a personal talk." she said in explanation. I wondered.

I liked Karen. I always had. I knew her backstory and her present circumstances. Without prying but just from comments from Darren and Sharon I knew she was not seeing anybody seriously and had not for a long time. I'm sure my wife and her talked. She had occasional dates of course. The woman was beautiful. I'm sure she attracted men like bugs to a light bulb. I'd hear a comment from Rachael about how she wished her mother would meet somebody with whom she could connect. Then I'd overhear her tell Darren something like. "Yeah, Mom went out on a date but got home early, again." I suspected Rachael might have wanted her mom to stay out late so she could have the house to herself for a few hours. Darren probably did too.

"How are you doing?" Karen asked, concerned. Her eyes squinted as if she was trying to read my mind. I answered honestly that I was in a good place and told her about Dave and his story. "Oh I wish I could have heard that first hand!" she declared, giggling.

I asked how the rest of the weekend went after I left. "We had fun." she reported. " Nothing mind boggling." Then she grinned and added, "or kinky. We got our skin buffed and puffed ALL OVER. We got our nails done. Personally I did not care for the pedicure, but the girls thought the attention was great." Karen stepped to the fridge and pulled out two beers. "I'm sure you didn't drink so much at the camp you wouldn't want one now." she said smiling. I smiled back. "First order of business is dinner. How does spaghetti sound? I can whip up some fairly fast." I said I thought I would take all of us out to supper.

"Do think that wise? What if Sheila runs into us?" Karen asked. I saw her point. She ordered me to park my truck in her garage in case Sheila happened to stop by after work to see Sharon.

"Dad, I just realized I can't get to my car." Darren said. He was distressed, "Mom will know we are back in town." We had just sat down to eat. The kids had been talking in another room while Karen and I cooked.

Rachael piped up, "Ahhh poor baby!" she giggled. "You are just gonna have to depend on Sharon and I to get around for a few days. I know. You can stay here with us in the guest room. That way your Dad can get his business done." Sharon was nodding in agreement.

"That is NOT gonna happen." I said quickly, seeing Karen frown at her daughter's suggestion. "You'll just have to be my shadow for the next couple days." Darren groaned. Everybody laughed. " Here's the plan. Darren and I are going to be checking into a motel. Karen got me an appointment to see her friend, the lawyer tomorrow afternoon and I have a list of things to get done beforehand including taking care of the finances. That will take most of the morning. But maybe I can drop Darren off here before I get started. IF Karen is okay with it." Karen nodded, smiling. "Have you heard from your mother, Sharon?"

"Yeah, she called this afternoon to see how things were going." Sharon answered. "I told her we would be back this evening. I also told her I was going to stay over here the rest of the week. Surprise, surprise. She did not even hesitate before she agreed. She did ask if I'd heard from either of you. She tried to call and you did not answer. I'm sure she is fishing to see how much time she has for her boytoy."

I reached for my phone. Darren and I had turned our phones off. I turned mine back on and sure enough there were several texts from Sheila asking why neither of us would answer and wanting to make sure everything was okay. I called her and put her on speaker. "Where have you been?" she demanded when she answered. "I was worried. When are you coming home?"

"Slow down. First, did something happen you need us to come home right now?" I asked. She said no, she was just concerned when she could not get hold of us. "We turned our phones off to preserve our batteries. Neither Darren nor I took a charger. We wanted our phones available in case of emergency. I just turned mine on now to check in."

"Didn't either Robert or his friend bring a charger?" she demanded. I answered they had but the phones were not the same brand and their chargers did not fit. "Okay. Just check in and let me know when you get on the road to come back." she said. I told I'd call her when I was ready to come home. Sharon snorted and grinned at the others. I had not told a lie. She knew full well I was not going home anytime soon.

Karen and I went into the living room leaving the kids to clean up the kitchen. "Thanks for speaking up quickly about Darren staying here. You know they have had sex even if they try not to be blatant about it." I told her I was sure they had. "Well, I like Darren and approve, of course, but....." I said I understood the 'but' meant it was just not appropriate for him to stay there. Karen smiled, "There are a couple things I would like to do that are not appropriate either." she said impishly before changing the subject. "So it sounds like you are not just going to get a legal opinion. You are going to move forward with the divorce? No chance of reconciliation?" We had already talked about the past few days. I thought my intentions were pretty clear. For some reason she thought it important to clarify my intention and reasoning.

"I'm not sure if this is even Sheila's first affair. She seems pretty good at covering her tracks." I said. "Thinking about it, that phone locator app might have been intended to keep track of my whereabouts as much as the kids. It was her idea in the first place. And she sure went out of her way to check in with us this week to make sure we stayed away. To me that shows she has no guilt nor any intention to stop. I can't live with that. No way. I need a woman who is loyal." Karen smiled.

"I'll help you. If you need a base of operations, you can use my house. I have a two car garage where you can store as much as you you need. Rachael and I will park in the driveway. Sharon can stay here for as long as she wants. If we need to, I'd even go along with letting Darren stay. The kids are gonna need to go back to school next week and they study together anyway. I don't think keeping them separate at night will slow those kids down, to be honest. Sharon being with them will do more than that as far as keeping them apart and from screwing like rabbits." I looked at her in surprise. "Okay. The screwing like rabbits is what I'd do if I had the chance." she said quietly, blushing avoiding direct eye contact.

I could tell she had been running scenarios through her head since she first learned about Sheila cheating. I left what I was thinking unsaid. It was far too early for me to get those thoughts. "I'm glad I can rely on you, Karen." I said sincerely. I took her hand and squeezed it. Her smile was dazzling.

I had always been attracted to Karen. She was a beautiful woman. She could have been a model. Her personality was as great as her body. Why she did not have a string of boyfriends surprised me. She had been close to our family for almost ten years since our daughters became best friends. She had eaten at our home too many times to count over the years and spent enough time there to become a part of the family. This past year plus during the lock down almost melded our households into one. The kids spent their days together for their virtual classwork. Meals were a group thing. Sometimes Karen cooked and brought over food and sometimes we cooked at my house. Having her around was not a strain between Sheila and I. We both loved to have the woman and her daughter around. I was married so I left my erotic fantasies about her unsaid. I purposely refrained from discussions of her sex life or lack thereof. I recognized she was hinting she might have shared some of those fantasies of us together as well. I would have to think about her in another light now. But it was far too early to consider a relationship.

When the kids were finished, Darren and I unloaded our fishing equipment and put it all away in a corner of Karen's garage. We only kept our clothes and toiletries with us. "Stand tough." I said to Sharon as I hugged her goodbye. "I'll see you tomorrow evening and bring you and Darren up to date. I've decided I will drop Darren off here in the morning." Karen gave me a tight hug before I climbed into the cab of my truck to drive away. Darren noticed and smirked but did not say a word.

First order of business would be to split the money in our accounts. But I wanted to do it in such a way I would not alert Sheila. Dave had told me about some of the crap his wife had tried to pull on him. He was ahead of her in the game though. One of the first issues I needed to deal with was our joint credit card. I called and paid off the balance. I told them to close the account and tried to open one in my name. They refused to send one to an address that was not on file. Finally I told the woman why I wanted it. She sympathized and said that was a common reason but they had to follow the rules. Finally I got a personal card using my business address. They would do that because I already had a card for business purposes in my name.

Then I called Sheila to tell her I had lost my credit card somewhere. "What do you need a card for at the camp? Are you coming back home?" she asked quickly. I could tell she wanted to make sure her plans with her boy toy were not interrupted.

"No, I made a beer run and my personal card was not in my wallet. Last time I saw it was Saturday morning. I thought I put it back in my wallet but maybe not." I lied. She complained a bit about why we were drinking so much beer and I told her there was six of us drinking and ice only lasts so long. We were keeping the fish we caught in the fridge and didn't have that much room for beer so were using ice chests. I heard a heavy sigh as she accepted my explanation.

"It may be somewhere at the camp but I don't want to take any risk on somebody finding and using it. When I called to close the account there were not any new purchases. I was surprised you did not go out to eat or anything." I wanted to put her on the defensive. "You haven't done anything since I've been gone? Just sit there at the house at night by yourself?" I thought I heard a stammer. Her answer she had a little cash told me she also likely had a card I did not know about. I hung up.