All Comments on 'Respect Ch. 02'

Nah, really hate raac with a woman like that

This fell apart fast, I was into it until the cartel showed up, and then it was one thing after another. Nice to know no one from California should bother reading this story unless they want to be insulted.

Well isn't that sweet. Cassie becomes the dutiful, admiring wife that Andy, the hero, always needed. What more could you desire.

This read like a Saturday afternoon action movie. A couple of points. After everything he knows, why would he trust anything Cassie says? Shouldn't he have asked Ted's wife to see her PI's report and get the details of his wife's cheating? And if the President of Mexico is smart enough to keep his name out of the limelight why would he write several articles pointing the finger at himself? The Cartels would certainly have killed him. Lastly and not leastly, while California has it's share of crazies (California is the most populous state in the Union with over 7 million more people than second place Texas so the percentages of everything is high) if it were not for California you wouldn't be talking on your cell phone, driving your electric car, eating any number of pieces of produce or watching many great movies. Not to mention you wouldn't be able to visit Disneyland, hike in Yosemite, ski in Tahoe or surf in Newport Beach. As a matter of fact, don't come to visit. And ask your crazy friends to come live with you. That will make all us Californians happy.

great story. as a Californian all I can say is we are battling the marxist tide that affects our great state. practicing

socialism distancing and ready to impeach another hypocrite from the left, the party of non-inclusiveness. Hoping eventually those factions of moronic discontent will eat each other. It has started. 5*

Of course was very predictable And a real disappointment from the 1st half of the story

And we also found out that this particular author is a right wing dumb fuck redneck ass hole

"California. That's a perfect place for him; it's a state filled with liars, cheats, and losers"

I happen to live in California and you've got me wrong, I am not a liar or a cheat.

-Anon 5301

You redeemed this story when I expected you to take the stereotypical route.

I am impressed.

How many cliches can you load into a story

Oh, I have to comment on, "Ted had moved to California. That's a perfect place for him; it's a state filled with liars, cheats, and losers."

Let's compare California to the South:

1. California has more top 50 ranked universities in the US (also the world), then all of the Southern US states put together (even though the South has more than 3 times CA's population). California also ranks highest in the country for average university quality (this one surprised me as I thought it would be MA).

2. California's per capita income is $67,000 a year (6th in the US). The bottom ten in per capita income are all red states, and 7 of them are in the South (MS, WV, AL, NM, KT, AR, SC, ID, AZ, NC). In fact, all but one in the bottom 25 is a red state. Wouldn't you say that the average income in the South being $45,000 a year there would be lots more "losers" there than California?

3. California's per capita homicide rate is half of the average of the South. In fact, 9 out of the 10 highest per capita homicide rate states are in the South. The same is true of violent crime in general.

4. Also look up the most beautiful state in the US. California is ranked number one. Not a single Southern state is in the top ten.

5. Which state has the lowest divorce rate in the country? You guessed it, California.

6. And the best of all, California voted twice against a pathological liar, insurrectionist, unpatriotic, divisive, delusional POS LOSER who is already ranked by historians in the bottom 5 of the worst presidents in history.

You could pick almost any measurable category of traits you would want in a state and California is typically in the top ten, and the South is in the bottom. So, you can talk out of your ass and make a comment that can't be backed up by data, or you can show with data (so not subjective) what states are at the top of all the "good" categories, and which ones are at the bottom.

There is a reason California is called the Golden State. There is also a reason why housing is so expensive here, because high income, educated people want to live here so they drive prices up. And last, I owned a Securities brokerage for decades. Ask the regulators in that industry which states they have the most problem with for fraud (cheats), and they are mostly in the South, with Florida being at the top of their list.

Wow! Phenomenal story. Your best work by far. The politicizing comments (CA) detract from the story. Still, a big whopping 5. Looking forward to more stories like this that have more meat on the bone.

It was a very good read. Like in the movies like Aliens where deep drama was in the first movie and the sequel was where all the good action were. Same here.

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Glad that there was no cuckold and slut here but a loving wife and husband fighting for family and marital survival. Thank you StoneyWebb.

very good story. 5⭐

Thanks for sharing your talent.

Good story thanks

Leave the right wing politics out. Decidedly unsexy

A great story.

You can't beat a good shoot-em-up tied in with a bit of romantic intrigue.

Well done, StoneyWebb.

Couldn't finish this bullshit!

I enjoyed this story until this: "Last I heard, Ted had moved to California. That's a perfect place for him; it's a state filled with liars, cheats, and losers. Ted fits in all three categories."

That statement has no connection to the story. It is a myopic ignorant political attack on the 40,000,000 residents of California, the overwhelming majority of whom are NOT "liars, cheats and losers". Some of those 40,000,000 are my family, so yes, I take it personally.

Mostly a statement like this detracts from the story and makes the MC appear petty and ignorant, which runs contrary to everything else the author wrote. So why did the author include it?

I am unable to find any kind of reasonable answer to that question. Only unreasonable answers come to mind. I won't be reading anything else by this author.

gave it a 4, because if she loses respect that fast. Why stay? She is worth the fight if you have to fight to get her respect

Unsatisfying.

In the end, this develop into just another reconciliation story where the innocent spouse are burdened with the responsibility to reconcile.

Disrespected husband, Andy were forced into a hero role so that Cassie can recover her respect for him. The antagonist, Ted have to be shown as a dirty coward for the almost cheating wife to lose respect for him. So what did the disrespectful wife do on her own to recover her respect towards her husband?

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Still wondering about lots of things. What would happen if Andy didn't get the chance to be heroic. What would happen if Ted didn't get the chance to show his dirty philandering cowardly character. How is she going to recover her marriage if those cartel didn't show up. Did she even reported the sexual harassment. Did she told Ted's wife of his ways.

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Still looking for a reconciliation story where the offending spouse are the one who does the heavy work to get their way back into the marriage.

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Author, you spend the whole story changing POV but after they return and during epilogue, there is no view from the wife.

Respect is indeed earned. He went above and beyond to earn more respect. But what did the bitch wife do to earn respect back? She lost all his respect with her words and actions/inactions.

I think this story is good, but most will see a husband blindly in love with a woman that planned on leaving him. Hard to respect a man who Simps that hard for a lowly worm like his wife. Yes, she did the bare minimum to fight for their marriage. But he acts like that's a big deal. Its not. Hes got Stockholm syndrome BAD with her.

I think that's why people will dislike the story. Ultimately she barely tried to prove herself to him, and he put her right back on a petastool. Because she broke every other marital vow. The physical aspect of cheating is bad, but so was her emotional cheating. And she carried that affair on for a long time.

"No, because I resigned."

I was absolutely stunned by Cassie's declaration. Cassie's ambition, ever since we first met, was to become a Partner for major accounting firm. Now she had thrown that away.

"But why?" It was the only question I could muster.

.

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cause then if you dump the shrew she is an unemployed single mother who needs alimony after the divorce

Well written and creative but it is Just another RAAC. Allen should have pushed through a divorce. there is no trusting a person that does not respect you to the point of saying do what I want or I am divorcing you. Since Allen knew Ted wanted to fuck his wife and ruin his marriage as payback there was nobody that would back up Cassis’s claim that nothing happened.

Allen should have been more forceful getting the family to leave after meeting the president of Mexico. He should have said something in front of the kids about already signing the divorce papers and Cassie leaving Ted’s hotel room looking like they had engaged in some form of sexual activity.

What a sad story. I was hoping he'd end up with Maria... she was lovely.

There didn't seem to be any consequences for Cassie after treating her husband like shit for two years and having an emotional affair with Ted. Even after Andy saved her life, she went right back to being a workaholic.

This chapter was quite disappointing.

So cliché.

Good one.

Issues & solutions.

Thank God no wimps & whores.

No cheaters for a change.

Well written. 5*

"Cassie had given me an ultimatum. Either I give up my writing career and return to my old accounting job, or she was going to divorce me." - I'd say, fine, divorce me; I'll get the kids, the house and alimony.

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Forty or more cartel gunmen got up to the twenty-fifth floor, and the Captain is sending people up to the twentieth floor? All that might do is stop additional gunmen from coming up, it does nothing to stop the gunmen already on the way up above them.

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Continuity error - at the beginning of Part One, he had a chunk of something that he had to pull out of his leg. Here he just has a gash in his leg.

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Good story, but it loses something that it took a terrorist attack for Cassie to realize her husband's true worth. Without it, maybe she would still have broken off with Ted, given his actions, but would she still have her disrespect for her husband? I believe so.

Thoroughly enjoyed this adventure in Mexico City, 5*

I'm not sure why you doubted this story fit in LW? I know it's rare, but occasionally we get a story with romance that uplifts the rest of us struggling in marriages. Thanks for an outstanding read - 5*

A good story and well written but I'm not sure what to make of it really. It opened with a brief glimpse of what was to come, okay, then we had a standard cheating wife story: will she won't she? Will Ted wreak the marriage or will Cassie come to her senses, all the ingredients were there including the under appreciated husband and the replacement wife waiting in the wings. But then it flipped back to some sort of action adventure tale. I'm not sure if the gun fight or the domestic drama was supposed to be the focal point as both seemed to suffer by the inclusion of the other: the cheating wife story didn't need the guns and political drama and the Mexican cartel war didn't need the cheating aspect.

Both sides would have made a decent story, personally I come here to read erotica so I guess I prefer the cheating one and there are plenty of scenarios to add without all out war. As I said either would be fine but something in the plot was lost by adding too much.

Getting past the above and as for the story in general a couple of things annoyed me: one was the inclusion of the police chief convention saving the day, we already had an American hero and as much as I like our American cousins I don't think it needed more, its okay feeling national pride but maybe keep it realistic and on that subject how on earth did a large number of people manage to smuggle firearms from one country to another?

Another, smaller niggle was the insults to California, I don't know a lot about that particular state, only what I see on TV etc. but I thought the remarks were petty and unnecessary.

Overall I quite enjoyed the story but the part I was most interested in - Cassies threatened affair - was sadly hijacked by a Bruce Willis type action movie.

Yep, called that one. An over-the-top situation to bring them back together without either of them actually having to work for it. Well, at least Cassie didn't have to work for it. She literally had to do nothing while Andy, who hadn't done anything wrong to begin with, did all the heavy lifting. Because that's reasonable.

There's your lesson, fellas. If your wife ever loses respect for you, through no fault of your own, just fight a cartel death squad and almost die. Everything will be alright after that!

Could have been a decent story without the NRA wet-dream fantasy and the political nonsense.

Great Stuff! I'm glad you posted in loving wives. It's the only genre I read. JB

I was going to say leave your rude political comments out. However this your platform even if I find your views ignorant. Entertains story

“ California… a state filled with liars, cheats, and losers”

SMH. Happy 4th of July. I live in the UNITED States of America. California is an important one of those states. As is Florida. Arkansas. Texas. New York. All of them. The fine people ON BOTH SIDES need to get the eff over themselves. The rest of the world is laughing at “the greatest nation in the world” as we tear ourselves apart from the inside.

Get it together people.

What's with the attack on the people of California? It was a sour note in an otherwise compelling story.

Good story but you don’t know shit about California, you want to find liars cheats and losers look at those southern red states.

A pretty good way to end the story. Her redemtion was probably a little quick, but not so fast that it felt impossible. I would have preferred they just be a single story instead of two chapters, but your speed of delivery wasn't that bad. Thanks for sharing.

Aside from the great story, it's a shame you have to insert your personal opinions into it.

Insulting California just shows what an insecure, ill-informed and ignorant person you are.

Excellent story from start to finish. Can't believe the marriage was saved that quickly.

A very very good story but the ending was rushed and weak. Personally, I think Cassie had a lot more groveling to do to be completely forgiven. Her character did not realistically change much in the short ending. And the main character was left a little on the wimpy side as related to Cassie. Just my thoughts but a great 2 part story in all.

I loved this ending!

Well written, your errors were very minor. Feel free to rush, anytime.

Tremendous plot, this deserves a book setting. The Order of the Aztec Eagle is real, well done!

Once again, superb work!

I really enjoyed the story right up to the point that you thought you needed to be political. There are liars, cheats, and losers in every state and they will be identified depending upon each persons perspective. If you don’t realize that then there’s a really good chance that you’re one of them.

I really thought you had a great story going in Chapter 1. Lots of emotion, suspense, and turmoil. That's what makes a great story for me. To me Chapter 2 is a shadow of Chapter 1. Yes, it was a well written, good story but all of the emotions and suspense was gone. I knew the outcome before the gun battle ever started. Hubby becomes a battle scarred hero while the challenger for the wife becomes a wimpy coward. Then the wife quickly convinces hubby she did no wrong and she was so sorry for the total disrespect she had shown him for the last six months.

To bad you felt the need to rush a conclusion. I really don't understand a lot of authors need to make the disrespected or cheated upon husbands into some type of super hero. This story could have been so much better without the gun battle and hubby becoming a hero. Thanks for the story but I found Chapter 2 to be very disappointing.

Wow!! All you pussy liberals have the whine about from the story is a couple of sentences about California. 🤣🤣 I'm sure the violence and guns scared you also. Back in your basements pussies.

No sweet Ms Shivers for our hero? Writing dream is where?

You had a really good story going there until you turned it into just another pathetic RAAC story.

Good solid story, I enjoyed it. I also enjoyed the whining in the comments from the special little snowflakes over the single sentence in the story calling out the once great state of California as the leftist run shithole it truly is...

Part 2 was good, but not as strong as Part 1. Yes, the shootout was well done and exciting. But the lack of any confrontation between Cassie and Andy —- which was needed because she had checked out of the marriage for all intents and purposes even if she didn’t give in at the end to Ted —- drained the story of it’s LW chops. And then you had her almost go all the way back down the workaholic slide before she caught herself again. Anticlimactic. Plus….Ted got off easy…..

So after a 5 ***** Part 1, Part 2 kind of dissipated the tension and energy that comes with a good cheating story. So 4 **** for this conclusion.

But we’ll written, as usual.

Since I escaped CA in 93, it has just plundered further into political/economic despair. I was hoping Ted would have caught the last sniper bullet that hit the chopper, right between the eyes so they could dump his carcass over the side to help the choppers ballast.

/

This looks to be a RAAC story from the beginning, I was hoping for a BTB as Andy and the kids deserved better. I'd was hoping for Maria to be Andy's rescue. Oh well the story disappointed me some. At least you could have given Andy some very large monetary award and the US put Andy on a lifetime NO tax status. But just a medal, whoopie. wonder if Andy got the MX medical bills too.

/

4*, Hooyah, Salutes

Hi SW

You should be careful with the political stuff. “ it's a state filled with liars, cheats, and losers. Ted fits in all three categories.”

Cali is part of the good all US of A last I heard. The state with the most people and the biggest individual chunk of the country’s GDP. Californians are Americans.

You are pretty close to saying what goes for CA goes for the US as a whole. And that would be an hurtful thing to say—not in keeping with the otherwise rational manner of your character’s character.

Also, as for the story, Ted comes across as the vile Character played by Billie Zane in Titanic. Down to the cowardice. It would have been a lot more interesting to have made him courageous as well, but apparently you like your villains dressed in black and your heroes wearing white.

PS. The idea that American police chiefs in the building would be packing firearms (or allowed to do so) when the Mexican President is expected to show, is satirical at best and dismissive always.

Cheap romantic bullshit. This is just RAAC unsuccessfully hidden between action plots. From the comments, almost no one bothered with that heroic subplot.

Where is the wife's effort in this? She's the one who messed up their relationship so why is she easily getting through this. If you didn't show her in first person, you could escape with it but you made that mistake to include her point of view. If her husband didn't get to become action hero would she be willing to respect him. I don't think so.

As non-westerner, I believe you should have focused more on your storyline instead of dumping political thought in this.

"Last I heard, Ted had moved to California. That's a perfect place for him; it's a state filled with liars, cheats, and losers." If it wasn't so pseudo cool to not love the United States we would not have to think things like this about the entire West coast. Sadly ignoring the Hispanics, it seems to be mostly populated by people who came late to the party. People whose ancestors did nothing to establish our country except for fighting military industrial complex wars.

Loved it. Well done. Happy to see parents stay together, when deserved, and these two deserved it. We can be unhappy with the wife ( I am ), but she didn't cheat. Maybe emotionally, but even that's hard to say because Ted was her "mentor" and she's supposed to listen to him. Having a mentor is all the rage in corporations, big brownie points on both sides of that relationship, pressure to believe what you're told is no small thing.

Good story, good ending. 5 stars.

Excellent!!!

Beyond stupendous. All you need is a screenplay to make this a movie. There was no cheating. Just a misgiuded wife who needed to see the light. Great tale and a favorite.

Trumptard

Not bad SW, but don't get rushed into chapter 2 when it's clearly not ready, as many commentators have said not as good as first part and that I suspect is purely down to rushing this out. Overall tale quite entertaining thank you.

nothing in this story should have just made it one chapter. wide's turn around was so fast made me wonder why she was on the outs in the first place. this site needs an adventure/action cat the LW wife part seemed to just be a by-product of that tom clancy shit show

Thanks for taking the time to give us some free entertainment!

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Generally, I liked it. There were some things in this one that I would not have put in, but it's your story, not mine.

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One thing I'd say, there is no possible way they would have heard the incoming helo from where they were fighting.

...

"Just as that thought flashed through my mind, I heard the distinctive sound of a helicopter approaching."

...

They had been in heavy gunfire (and explosions) for a while with no hearing protection. Even just 5 or 10 rounds fired unprotected is going to dramatically impact your ability to hear (short term). When I did my handgun training, the instructor made us fire 6 rounds without protection so he could gauge our reaction to the sound. After 6 rounds of 9mm I could no longer hear him at all when I put ear protection on and I had to watch him while he spoke to be sure what he was saying with protection off. That helo was never going to be heard by those guys, inside the building at that point.

.

In any case, I enjoyed the read. Thank you.

Part 1 started well, two selfish parents too concerned with their careers and not thinking of the children. Descended into immature rubbish. Hero and his submissive little wife...pathetic.

Your stories about aliens are more realistic than this... story... starsong1977

As I said in my comment for Ch. 1 this story should have been published with Ch. 2. Eight pages is not a long story. With 6 days between Ch.1 and Ch.2 there is a break in the story that takes away from the totality of the story. If reading a story with more than 3 or 4 pages is too much for some people then they are not the ones you should be listening to for ways to improve your writing. The only thing they want to read is Jack and Jill went up the hill to fuck. Jill got so excited she squirted. Jack slipped and fell down, and broke his crown so Humpty Dumpty had was able to fix Jill's egg.

It's your story so I'm not going to tell you what not to say, but I will say you should stay away from political commentary in your stories. Call me a liberal pussy if it makes you feel better, but if you want to build and increase your followers don't make political comments either pro or con. Thanks for the story. I enjoyed reading it.

Readable story.

So California, a part of your beautiful country is just trash. Filled with losers ( Google, Tesla, Amazon, Facebook etc) liars and cheaters. Hmmm, you Must Love your country, south from the Bible bellt . Right? Trumpy lover? Yeahhh that one piece of shit is your raw model.

How sad for America. What a single pile of putrid turd could damage such a great nation?!

Ok now, ride on, do the next logical step. Start a Civil War. Divide America in many little pissy villages. Do it. Please.

We the rest of the world and especially CHINA, we will love it. Really. Go ahead.

Well done. I enjoyed it. Thank you

Fluently written and fast paced plotting. 8 This was a very good read, far better than the vast majority of what we get in LW.

Some of the comments here amuse me. For example, Looking4it writes: "I really enjoyed the story right up to the point that you thought you needed to be political. There are liars, cheats, and losers in every state and they will be identified depending upon each persons perspective."

The observations deemed "political" about California simply reflect the truth. I've lived in Seattle, the SF Bay Area, Houston, NYC and Boston, each for many years. What is apparent to anyone with a functioning brain is that there is NO moral equivalence between the political class in Texas and the other states I've lived in. While Greg Abbott, the current governor of Texas, and his administration will never be rationally singled out as representing a "profile in courage" and great government, the political leadership of the other states largely consists of raging, delusional, narcissistic sociopaths. You don't have to be incredibly smart to see that, just honest, sane, and aware. For those of you who cling to the idea that the governments states like California are no worse that those in states like Texas, you should consult the "UHaul Poll"...renting a UHaul trailer out of CA to go to Texas is 3-4 times more expensive than renting from Texas to California because UHAul has to pay to get most of the trailers back from Texas. People vote with their feet. Unfortunately, too many of the refugees don't understand why a state like CA has become a disaster and bring their their dysfunctional political beliefs with them. Perhaps the whiners about the CA references in the story would benefit from some retail reality therapy; that is, to get a feel for the difference between the governing classes in the states, open a retail store in SF and see what happens, then do the same thing in Houston. In SF shoplifters can steal from you with impunity. At most, the police, if they show up, will write a ticket and then there will be no prosecution. But, the normal course is that you can't hold the shoplifter without getting charged or injured yourself, and the shoplifter just goes on the the next store on his shopping list. In fact, the police will probably not bother showing up or will do so only well after the crime occurs. In Houston, you can draw down on or restrain the shoplifter if you need to in order to hold him, and the police will arrest him, not charge you. This limits the appeal of shoplifting in Texas, while in CA it's just an alternative form of "shopping". To continue with the Texas example, the state still needs more courageous leadership (a DeSantis would be an improvement, for example), and the Soros funded prosecutors in some of the major cities need to be removed. So, there is a lot of room for improvement, but there is no comparison between someone like "Any Twosome Newsom" and Greg Abbott, nor can anyone sane and honest claim that CA is as good a place to raise a family or start a business as Texas.

What, she tells him, "Oh my gawsh, honey bunny, I didn't do anything! Like, sure, I made your life hell for a long time and shat on you, but I didn't actually let Ted fuck me raw and try to pass his child off as yours! That's, like, why you forgive me, right?" and he literally nods and accepts that? I know you made it all convoluted, but that's what the story boils down to. This wasn't just a RAAC, this was a fucking WAACFC(The FC stands for... Well, For Cucks.)

I was disappointed by part 2. Eagerly read this because of Part 1.

Very fun piece of action writing - like a Summer blockbuster, or maybe even a Don Winslow novel. I’m glad you had Cassie redeem herself - I liked her and got the feeling from chapter one she really was a decent girl who took the wrong turn and almost drove off the road. Andy’s a great character - You should consider featuring him in more stories. Thanks for a very enjoyable read.

Liked the story. I think his wife may actually have seen the light and gotten her priorities in order, but I’d still keep an eye open for any backsliding. Having said that, I am saddened that the MC will likely never be able to fully trust his wife again.

The ending was a bit over the top, but hey, it’s fiction! Oh, and btw, California is full of all kinds of nutballs including gun toting redneck wackos, as well as fancy pants naïve socialists. Bottom line, skip the political crap if it’s not germane to your story.

OK story. But, "liars, cheats, and losers"? Were you referring to the No. one opposition leader in the current House of representatives? Surely not.

Funny thing about your statement about California, that's how the world views the entirety of the United States - so limiting it to just one state seems ludicrous, Fun tale though, if predictable.

4/5

Never a more truer statement was made referring to California. It produces Scum like Pelosi, Maxine Waters , that moron of a Governor Newsome, and then there’s always that douche bag Swalwell who fucks Chinese spies. Otherwise a reasonably good story with a hero and a marriage on the brink. Keep up the good eork

What did the wife do to earn HIS respect? Love reconciliation stories though. 5/5

Great read. Too bad the tiny dicked "I need mah guns to feel like man" anon below hasnt been jailed yet for taking part in the fascist coup in DC.

Well written. A fun story. The man was not a retired Navy seal or ex-special forces guy biding his time until called to battle. He was a common guy who stepped up for his family when he needed. 5 stars

"Californus is a state filled with liars, cheats, and losers". Any person who could pen this sentence is a fool, and a vicious one at that. California has almost 40 million people. As is true of everywhere, most of those people are good at heart want want to do the rights things in life. Any reasonable person should be able to see this. Writing the atrocious sentence quoted shows that StoneyWebb is devoid of good sense.

You fell short in the telling of the battle. Then for no reason other that political stupidity and you had to talk crap about California. Plenty of Conservatives here just not the majority.

I kept waiting for the confrontation with the wife for all of the disrespect and clearly unacceptable behavior. Didn't happen. Otherwise nice effort.

Stoney, it was a good fairy tale till the end. Then you completely dropped your pretense and displayed your fifth columnist colors. One star for perversion.

Your take on California was spot on!

God, you Americans are so full of yourselves, although I was expecting "Libertarian" to crop up in the sentence about liars and cheats.

Try living in the UK right now where we have a full party of Trump wannabes presently destroying a country for their own monetary gain. At leat you had the sense to vote him out.

Anyway, other than the political quip; which in my opinion was all that it was; it was a fairly entertaining story.

Your unnecessary gratuitous slur on the people of California really stuck in my craw and RUINED an otherwise good yarn.

Chiefs of Police smuggling firearms? For the love of mercy just stop writing.

Disappointed with the second chapter.

Too many comas infecting stories recently. I wasn't interested in reading about gun battles. I was looking forward to how Cassie could convince Andy that she saw the light and didn't actually consummate her infatuation with Ted. But she still had years of putting down her husband. I don't think Stoney wrote a satisfying end to his story. I don't have any problem with reconciliation; there wasn't any sexual cheating! You just failed to write a convincing resolution to all the problems created by Cassie.

One page of reading, one page of skimming and then I quit the story. 1st installment was pretty good up to the cartel gunmen, so I had a ray of hope. False hope, as the 2nd installment sucked so much I could not continue.

Gave it 3 stars out of respect for the 1st installment.

Good story but your shot at California was uncalled for. Given that probably the biggest liar,cheat and loser in US history lives in Florida, could have been there. In fact Ted's cowardice is a perfect fit for said resident; he is such a coward that when he would do something that could get him into a fight daddie would hire goons to threaten the world be attacked. Ted would fit in well with Florida's most famous liar, cowards live to hang out together.

Good story. Thank you, I have liked all of your stories, keep writing.

@sbrooks103x

"Cassie had given me an ultimatum. Either I give up my writing career and return to my old accounting job, or she was going to divorce me." - I'd say, fine, divorce me; I'll get the kids, the house and alimony.

Ya right, you know that would never happen

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Forty or more cartel gunmen got up to the twenty-fifth floor, and the Captain is sending people up to the twentieth floor? All that might do is stop additional gunmen from coming up, it does nothing to stop the gunmen already on the way up above them.

Did you forget about all of the American police chiefs? I think so.

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Continuity error - at the beginning of Part One, he had a chunk of something that he had to pull out of his leg. Here he just has a gash in his leg.

Why would that be a big deal, it just didn't need repeating.

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Good story, but it loses something that it took a terrorist attack for Cassie to realize her husband's true worth. Without it, maybe she would still have broken off with Ted, given his actions, but would she still have her disrespect for her husband? I believe so.

You said "maybe" that means you don't know, why bring it up? How can you believe something you DON'T know?

Great story!

5

I agree with Graymangazer and FireFox59, part 2 spoiled this, what was a good loving wives/cheating story descended into a macho, totesteron filled fantasy. It was two stories mashed together with not enough room for both, if it were a full length novel it might have worked but in just eight pages there was no space to let anything develop. The wife's imminent affair and the husband's reaction should have been the main storyline but any suspense or drama were dispelled in part 1 to make way for the American obsession with guns and violence, we were even given details and models of the weapons involved, something that is of zero interest to any normal individual.

You write well and have some good ideas but also a tendancy to go over the top into la la land, maybe try something without the macho posturing. Five stars for the first part but I won't score this part.

I loved the story and thought it was well written. The very first line in part one of the story told you there was going to be some type of conflict or battle. Chapter 1 gave us emotional conflict and chapter 2 finished the emotional conflict and gave us nice little battle. "Last I heard, Ted had moved to California." I though oh heck he will fit right in there before I read "That's a perfect place for him; it's a state filled with liars, cheats, and losers." and started laughing thinking that is what I was thinking.

All of you whining about the California reference know you'd be exactly like Ted when the shit hits the fan...hiding behind the women and children.

The attack did not save his marriage. It actually delayed the save because it interrupted his wife’s repentance. Liked the story.

Yes, the comment on California is solid. When I lived there we called the state a giant bowl of granola, cause what lives there are either fruits, nuts, or flakes. And the biggest liars are not in Florida, they clearly reside in New York City.........

and let their brains and psyches return to normal. TK U MLJ LV NV

the U MLJ LV y should ask. OTIS or ARETHA. TK U MLJ LV NV

Awesome! Loved it. Thank you for part 2.

@Anon comparing anecdotal shoplifting supposed crime rate between Houston and San Francisco. Here is the thing, people like you are so misinformed and they have strong opinion about shit without any data and knowing the facts. There are a lot of stupid misinformed people out there, and I accepted that until the 2016 election and the shit going on after this last one.

Below I will give real crime data comparing Houston and SF. You can look it up by googling each city crime data city-index. I will put Houston's numbers first then SF's. All crime rate is per 100,000 population.

1. Homicide: H 11.7, SF 4.5 (yes, less than 40% of Houston's)

2. Rape: H 53, SF 36.6

3. Robberies: H 388.3, SF 344.8

4. Assaults: H 619.2, SF 283.7

5. Burglaries: H 723.3, SF 524.1

And the list goes on. Every single fucking category Houston has much higher crime rate. Get informed, have the facts before you spoute off nonsense, or at least have the decency to realize you're a fool and don't vote.

Tnicoll did it right with his 'no voting/comment till final chapter' thing.

Respect Ch. 01 scored pretty well because it build up towards a climactic confrontation between Cassie and Andy. In Ch. 02, expectation subverted. Nothing the wife did before husband's heroic act is resolved. After they return home, more wife's plotline is added and also done too quickly. Sadly, this is a disappointing series.

Andy and Cassie got a second chance. Ego always complicates a marriage. Truly a 5 STAR story.

More drivel continuing from the part one. This time some Rambo nonsense in which the main hero, of course, reclaims his manhood in face of his cowardly rival's downfall. Lots of fire and explosions followed by tremendous amount of sugar poured in. All the necessary clichés respected, good enough for the most idiotic of Stallone's movies.

Apparently, this is a dream of otherwise lowly BTB author himself.

Dude, you are one of the LW authors with the biggest amount of banalities and commonplace stereotypes available.

Maybe I should read everything here but this type of drivel is just making me throw up so I had glide faster over trivial paragraphs of BS.