All Comments on 'Revelations Ch. 02'

Living in shame and dishonor? The cowards out? Is it the Mormons that claim Jesus walked on water to America and lived and taught amongst the Indians with the Angel Moroni? Maybe felt betrayed and got sick of Israel like Moses did...

Damn dude. Yours still alive. Do the cat and mouse chase with his family. The bitch must suffer more. You have it in you to think of the rest of the story. You got moxy kid!5 stars here

No es perfecto pero es un buen final y Víctor - Gary debe conservar su actual forma de vida, sin su ex familia.

This is a good interim ending, much enjoyed.

I tried to read this piece of shit you call a story and lasted right up until the asshole took out his pain on a ten year old dog. You have to be some kind of sick twisted asshole to pull a stunt like that. I can only assume the author is also a sick twisted asshole. You deserve to be put down and not humanely.

Too over the top for my tastes but thanks for the read.

This was nowhere near the writing quality of the original.

it is NOT a frat house, it is a fraternity house!

I admire people who can stay true to themselves; it's very difficult to consistently do this. When I've stuck to my guns, I've regretted it at times and regret being forgiving in some cases where it wasn't appreciated or honored.

Absolute shite …….

He never finishes the series. Don't waste your time.

LMAO!

I'm not a literary critic, I cannot tell the world what is great or not good, I can however tell what I like...

I like this tale, and your sequel. Keep the good works coming. Thanx LP

The sequel to the original story was bad, this was even worse, simply crap

Lacking the passion of the original, but I like the general story arc you created... 4*

I guess I wonder why you bothered to write this follow up. You write great stories, this one turned your mind to crap.

I know it has been a while, but I have really enjoyed this story, especially the first two installments. The last installment (4) left me wanting more. There was never any meeting with the children or the wife, even though they were supposedly on their way. What happened to the wife? Did the husband reconcile with the children? Did the wife ever really understand what she did?

Let’s face it this was way better than the original.

Loved your comments as usual, all of them. I figure Carvohi wrote these chapters sitting in his truck one morning after work in an oxy induced fog. This was about as harsh of a revenge escapade as I've read in a long time without actual body parts out and around. "No wire hangers ever...", yes, father dearest. Signed: BTW

Oh yeah, @ Anon. 12/13/18: there are some things in life worth fighting for. There are things in life worth dying for. Conversely, there are things in life worth killing for. Believe it or not. I think this is quite an improvement over the original second chapter.

I liked this “Ch. 2” much more than that of the original author’s. This seemed to be more true to character as to how I hope I would handle such a horrific situation. As someone else commented, until you have been truly and royally stabbed in the back by someone you love, you have no idea how devastating it can be, or what you might do. Either to retaliate or to just get the hell out of Dodge.

… kind of an epilogue.

He should have gone after Paula. Then again, Paula may be with him.

Only person in this story more despicable than the wife is the husband. I guess he thinks when someone wrongs him he is now free to destroy everything else in his life, kind of reaction I would expect from a toddler who got his favorite toy stolen

Who have never been shit upon always think that the person's response to being shit on is overboard. My hope is that all these people get shit on by their loved ones. Then maybe, just maybe they will understabd.

What does this shameless whore expect to achieve, chasing down her disrespected, lied to and humiliated husband, together with her progeny? Does she think she can persuade him to return? - and forget the vivid scenes of her continued adultery, continued for years and only stopping with her lover's death. It would be a sad day if she succeeds! Good writing and developed nicely. Five stars

This was a great bit of writing.A Little weak at the end but it was raw, primitive and engaging.

Keep up the great work.GyfraH

What a vile specimen of humanity is our Victor. He's been hurt so he'll punish everyone and destroy their lives - even his children

LA

We can at least say he wasn't a cuck. Amusing story.

. . . I actually enjoyed this first additional chapter. He wife deserved to suffer, and the original story left me wanting. I continue to read . . . I gave you 5*. Why not?!

You've read the best part of this ending. Starting with the middle of the next chapter this story becomes absolutely awful.

The author tries to introduce debauchery, gang bangs, drugs, and more BS. It looks like he's trying for a RAAC ending. But no, next we have pages of erotic hallucinations

by Karen while in the mental hospital while son James tries to prove she was drugged during her orgies with multiple men. Say what???????

Don't waste your time because THERE STILL IS NO ENDING TO THIS NONSENSE STORY!!!

I know some, if not all, of these have been said before, but...

"I felt sorry for him. He was sick. We became soul mates." - That doesn't account for the dry humping and quick separation at the party, or the continuation of the AFFAIR after Harry was healed. And isn't your MATE supposed to be your "soul mate?"

"He needed someone." - So why did it have to be her? Were there no single women in the office? Why not ask your husband? If your boss needed a blood donation, or a kidney you would surely discuss it with you husband first!

I don't understand why the kids wouldn't take the stuff, he TOLD them there wouldn't be a later time.

It's expensive and not quick and easy to get a new identity, and he's selling things for a song?

"I'm sorry I'm so sorry. I wished I'd never been born." - But then, who would have saved Harry?

I'm impressed. Your husband characters are always wimpy, obtuse, little guys.

You actually did a burn job. Kewl.

I am glad that you decided to continue the story. I had correspondence with Alex and we had discussed some things about the story and his opinion and was going to put it in the following story( pretty pedals was something she was given to calm her down and her to help in other words LSD) This makes you want to please everyone in any way possible you will read what the doctor says in last chapter.

Ron/ cowboyridecc@yahoo.com

“He was sad. He needed someone." – As has been said, why her? Because he was already crushing on her? That’s why it SHOULDN’T have been her! That’s like asking the mouse to guard the cheese!

“She begged me to think about what she called 'us'.” – Oh, like she did while fucking Harry?

Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time. It's just not worth it. That story is ointment to all betrayed!!!

Thanks for the offering.

This chapter gets five stars. Well done.

I recently read the original Alex lover story even though I had read your addition to it previously I hope he does as you suggest and adds to your story but failing that please give us your ending as it is a very good story that stands on its own merits.

But as you know it is not completed. Please finish it. I enjoyed your chapter and I understand his feelings. Why is it if the wife cheats everyone feels sorry when the husband reacts and walks away. But when the husband walks away it is oh poor mama u have been so bad to her. Why did u not give her all the money and things plus keep working to support her and her boyfriends. The wife got off lucky.

Your imagination and your forgiving attitude. Honestly, I used to read a lot of BTB stories. I probably still will. But you've gone against the grain and instead of accepting cuckolding or burning the bitch, you tend to choose forgiveness.

Reading this story is actually shocking. You describe the emotional pain very well, especially of the wife's. It is incredibly horrible, and anyone with a little empathy can feel it. I can see how the husband feels revolted by all of it and can't keep any of that around, but the wife is upset by memories of a life thrown away. Sadly, she doesn't understand that life was built on a lie and changes everything he ever knew, which can quite frankly drive a person crazy.

I have a friend who lied to me, she has a secret life where she goes hook-ups with people on dating sites. It was very sad finding out the truth from another friend, because I really loved and respected her, and still do, but it's difficult to deal with when everything is flipped around and the extent of the lie is so big and it's not brought open and reconciled. At least she should have been honest and open and not told so many lies.

I can perhaps hazard a guess why you never finished the story. Perhaps it was too horribly painful, and you just wanted to avoid concluding the story. It is the most emotionally charged story you have written I think. Not particularly for the husband, but for the wife certainly. Anyway thanks for writing

"Victor," she said, "he was dying inside. He was sad. He needed someone."

And there were no SINGLE women, or women in “open” relationships available? And again, if it was all so good and right, why not tell/ask Victor? Surely he would approve of her good deed, right?

I'm glad that he didn't have Chelsea put down like it seemed at first.

Since he was starting a new life, why not sell all the stuff for as good a price as he could get quickly? I understand that he doesn't want to take the extra time to get top dollar, but he surely didn't have to sell things for a song, either, and he certainly could use the cash!

His wife was steadfast in her story. The Son reckons he knows what has happened to his mother. Take a hair sample which would confirm the drugs issue and start behaving like a real man. To crucify a wife the way he did is inexcusable. If she was half the women he thought she was then listen. It costs you nothing...

or are you just an idiot? he didnt kill the dog

He killed a poor fucking DOG because she had bought it for him? No wonder she cheated! What a psychotic dickl

RON TEXAS SEE COMMENT

some even closer than one thinks. TK U MLJ LV NV

After reading all the chapters up until where Vanessa is in the special hospital with all of the best doctors the story is not finished. This story is good for at least two more chapters 1. Where they find the other men and the women she worked with that gave her the drugs. 2. The story where these people are brought to justice for what they conspired to do in helping to ruin Victors life along with Vanessa's life. 3 The lawsuit against the company for not enforcing the morals clause that all major companies have. (That way her daughter can get the nice house not home she was hoping to buy with the intended money she was expecting her parents to leave her. 4. Vanessa's life after she gets out of the special hospital with all her special doctors. Ron. Texas. cowboy ride cry shop.com

You left it even more open ended than the original.

So far I have only learned, do not trust lawyers, but I didn't need to read this for that life lesson.

If she can get the money from the paintings, keep her job, her retirement, her kids, and the house, what has he gained by running away?

She cheats and she wins.

Only crap

If he's going to start a new life, why not get the maximum for the stuff he's selling and send the money to an off-shore account rather than selling it dirt cheap and giving the whore the money?

This writer comes off as very mean

has anyone continued the story?

Has anyone ever wonder why some men marry immoral women even though other men wouldn't touch those women with ten foot poles? There some people whom you instinctively know to stay away from, and if not right away, a few dates with them should give you a good hint of what creatures they are. The answer is that men marry immoral women because they themselves are immoral. Why? Because they have no way of detecting immoral people. It takes moral fibers to see the difference between morality and immorality. Similarly psychopath cannot understand empathy in other people because he lacks it. The husband is this story is an immoral creature.

The way the asshole husband in this story casually dealt with Chelsea the dog had my blood boiling. If he had just used a shot gun on himself in the first paragraph, that dog would still be alive. He should have just hurry up and die. It's a fucking joke that carvohi thinks normal people would sympathize with this dirtbag of a main character. What creature are you carvohi? Think hard.

A far better ending than the author of rhe first story had written.

Like to hear what happened when the family met again.

Nice to see a good ending to the storie

Because it's okay. What I don't like is your resolution to the story. He takes her unfaithfulness and blows it up into a nuclear bomb. And his assumptions are just that - assumptions. He doesn't know if she had other lovers. He doesn't know if the kids are his or not. He acts like a petulant child when he sells the rings and throws the box away. These aren't the actions of a rational, mature man. They are drivel from a 3 year old. Don't get me wrong, I love a good BTB story. But in this case, you should have written the story of how they got past her cheating. Not every story needs to end in the cesspool. And in this story, you went the wrong way.

Norcal62, CLDs, are to the left, give it time I sure this writer will make you happy.

Kind of cynical.

Thank you for continuing this story. What you described is probably the most satisfying thing that could happen. It's what I would have done. Hope they don't catch up with him.

one can never hide in plain sight. TK U MLJ LV NV

THIS IS A GREAT little tale keep going please, i love how he just left the cunt hahaha nothing is better than the tears of an adulterous whore in pain haha they seem to finally understand grief.. this is a great tale because he was never really gonna kill him self only the cuckold.

Hubby is so full of self pity that he's almost catatonic. A "me too" for over the top analysis by others. Doesn't make good writing.

Remember, this is your work on the page. If you are writing to please others, you aren't really writing what you want. If this is how you see the story continuing, follow through to the end and all the naysayers be damned. If they feel they can do better or that the story should have gone a different way they should get off their collective asses and get writing.

I don't have to agree with what you wrote. I don't have to like how you wrote it. If I disagree that strongly, I can choose to stop reading. I believe that people see things differently so no one view is correct nor is it wrong, it is just is what it is.

Having said that, I am quite interested to see what you have in store for Victor/Gary. I'm intrigued with what the wife, kids and grandkids would want with him after all that has happened and would like to see what you come up with. Please continue and don't let the others deter you.

Well I like the ending, he should just dissappear again. After all she is still alive, so she must not have felt bad about what she did. People do pay for what they do in life. One way or another. But I do like the ending where he is happy again. There is no need to go back to the past. Just let him go on with his life.

...to a good story. I understand HDK, but he took everything away from the wife - not even a lover to go back to. His whole marriage was a sham after all...she wanted her lover and a husband to take care or her.

He had money, got away from his idiot kids, removed everything of value from the wife, kept the lab, and found an "outlet". Who gives a shit if his old family finds him; just ignore them.

The guy moved on.

In this version Victor is much stronger and decisive. In my opinion, he was much more a man that I could relate to. I would like to see how this authoe continues this story.

There was s lot of psychological self damage in this story. Not dure if this ch.02 follows on from alex lovers story !

It seems very OTT to me. I though victor might try and hook up with the woman he meet at the lakes snd ask het for for advice. Considering she is a psychologist !

The end result was much more realistic (he left). However the petty vindictive crap was just that! It detracted from his sense of betrayal. It would have been better to leave all the crap behind.

That said, it's still much more satisfying than the original.

@ Werwolf Anon. About my story ideas. Yes I have some stories, which origined from clueless husband stories. You can read on SOL (storiesonline.net).

1. "How Are Not You Being Neglected?" The story background is a story, where the husband worked hard and he neglected his wife. They have children. His wife looked for loverboy at the neighbore. The neighbore man has a wife and children, but he does not want to divorce from his wife. I used that idea the neglected wife and hard work husband with discovering the affair. However I wrote a extramarital fun story for the betrayed husband (a romantic revenge story). Unfortunatelly I forgot the Author and the title alike. If somebody remember he/she could send me the title or name of the Author.

2. "Betli Must Be Played!" The story's background a story where a logistic center's supervisor is proud of his new young wife, who cooks well and she brings the lunch to her husband. She cheats with some collegues of her husband in the logistic center. I read the story 1.5-2 years ago. I forgot the title and the author, but the revenge idea was in my mind at once during reading. (However I would never have thought I would write stories................)

3. "Loving Wife Dies: Bora Bora" The background stories "H2Owader Loving Wife Dies" and Ohio "Loving Wife Dies: Painful Truths". Ohio's story version shows a pathetic sad husband but I want to show a husband who does advantage from the disadvantage and can live a happy life after his skank cunt went to the HELL.

we want more

@ Werwolf Anon Look at the new definition of the Loving Wives: EXTRAMARITAL FUN!!!!!!!!!!! The Western Culture is gender equity, so the betrayed husbands extramarital fun is if he is SEXUAL MAJORITY MALE is not to eat other's creampie, to masturbate on his wife fucked other man, to be voyer on his wife when she is fucked her lover, etc.........Because these behaviorals are sexual minority husband behavioral.

FOR A SEXUAL MAJORITY BETRAYED HUSBAND THE EXTRAMARITAL FUN IS TO FIND A NEW BETTER WOMAN (wife, mate, girlfriend) and it may be a revenge against the cheating wife and the loverboy(s).

The revenge is not fetish, but one of the first not religiouse literature work according to the archeological discovering from Mesopotamia.

Look at the Poor Man of Nippur. However I recommend Beaumarchais/ Da Ponte/ Mozart "Marriage of Figaro" Opera, or Dumas's master work "Le Comte de Monte Cristo"if you want newer example.

Moreover "Le Comte de Monte Cristo" and "Marriage of Figaro" are excellent not XXI century Loving Wives revenge stories, because both story is round two woman, Mercedes, who is fiancee of Edmont Dantes and Susanna who is also a fiancee!!!!!!!!

I think Dumas and Mozart could be high scored stories on LW hub.........

This was a victim playing the victim, and victimizing himself. Very little satisfaction, just a lot of petty psychological damage to his wife, himself and his kids. Was that the point?

This has been a good story from the start and you have done a great job of making it better. It would be wonderful if you would keep the saga going.....

Having been in a similar situation I would love to hear what comes next. I would love to hear the slut went down in flames and killed herself. Keep going

This was crap!!!!!!! Sorry, good luck on future submissions.

The continuation of the story would be better served if it focused on the wife's realization of all her lies and self-deception, not the husband's self-distruction and disappearance. Did he really believe he was not the biological father? Should such an undocumented belief cause him to abandon his children? Should the end of his marriage also end his life as a parent? He should either get payback on his wife or get over his wife's betrayal, not run away to start a new life as a reborn sixty-year- old.

Please alex_lover take back your story and write your Chapter 4.

I think HarryInVA first said 'wallow in self-pity!' I can't think of a better way to express the message in this saga! I agree with several that Carvohi's Victim does NOT sound at all like Alex's Aggrieved-Hubby!

This struck me, as I was reading it, a lot like a kid running away so people miss him/her! OR "I'll show you...I'll hold my breath 'till I turn blue!"

If Carvohi's Victim REALLY felt this way, then keep the ID in the wallet and step OFF the ship! Carnival Cruises could use the publicity!

2*

A rather extreme reaction in my opinion. If you are going to sell off all the stuff she gave him, at least try to get good money for it. I don't fault him for bailing on the cheating wife, but something missing is how they found him. I suppose that can be covered in the next chapter, which should be written by someone.

This character is almost as big a loser as cantbuymy's version.

Not a bad continuation of a good story, but I think you should continue & take the bull by the horns to finish it. Great story.

Dismal. What's so nice about it?

Adds something to the story.

I really would be pleased to read the next chapter by you, if that's possible?

Want a winner read my victors victory.

You as well as Alex_lover's, have such a depressing outlook for Victor. From both of you, victor can't get past his sense of betrayal from his wife. But, by destroying his life and everyone in it, He gives victory to her former lover. Proving that he (victor) was a real loser. That his pride and his own selfishness could not over come her betrayal. Yet, she was still with him in their golden years, still loving him. Or at least giving him the sense of being loved. Victor could have gotten his revenge in a more subtle way, if he was truely going to get back at her for something she had done ten years earlier. Hummmmm?????

not at all. don't fuck up other peoples stories. the guy we know fron the other story would not have done anything like that. he would just leave and be strong enough to really start another life. just poor.

Actually he did end it and now we have this one. My "victors victory" ends this with the wife dying of a broken heart.

Grasp hatred to your chest and let it eat you. What a thoroughly negative story. The protagonist masturbates with a fist full of sand.

now all we need is a full force "nuke the bitch straight to hell" finale.

since she didn't let him "rest in peace", make what happened in this installment look like the calm before the storm.

destroy the bitch. no mercy, no second chances.

make her wish she was as dead as her "soulmate"

Some thoughts:

1) Was there an agreement with AL that your story couldn't end either? Why leave it open AGAIN! For that matter why bother contacting AL for permission in he first place? It's not like you are posting the previous story under your name. It was open ended and wide open for further chapters. That is not infringing on intellectual property. Neither of you are looking to profit from either of these postings so why worry about permission. To be polite? Please.

2) You appeared to write a new chapter giving him the retribution you felt Victor deserved that was not present in the original. Okay, I get that. What I don't get is you take the last two chapters and throw all of it away. Once again letting Vanessa steal his life. Why? WHY? What is it about this character that makes writers give her such power over Victor's life? I just can't understand why you threw away all your writing at the. The saying goes, "The best revenge is a life well lived." Should have ended it there.

3) Then in your final personal notes put it back on AL or someone to finish your own goddamn version of the story. Really? REALLY??? You don't possess the creative energy to finish your own story? That is simply lazy.

What's next? How about a bullet between the eyes or an invitation to a threesome with the new woman for old times sake.

Seriously disappointed.

While it's clear that in the alex_lover story that the protagonist would end up leaving his wife, this version of our "hero" doesn't seem like the same person. He didn't seem like the type to have run — that would have shown weakness — or to have made such a show of destroying all evidence of the marriage (except the dog). The original story was all about his working out the meaning of the affair and how he needed to respond to it. The last cup of coffee should have been just the last cup of coffee together, not the start of a slightly insane form of vengeance. (Of course, for truly over-the-top and bizarre revenge, I'll read cantbuyme.)

Loved the Churchill reference. Great story.

One of you has to finish this "ice cream" float by putting the crushed nuts and cherry on top. I only wish I had done that to my first marriage.

% stars,,but come on don't leave us hangin

It's very much worth another episode! The forged documents issue could be a real problem! :)

Try for a little reality now. He is living the good life, he has moved on. He always had a plan in case something like this happened. Now, he realizes he really doesn't care about the past. Like it or not, good or bad, it is over. He has no need for his cheating wife or disloyal maybe children. If they didn't get the message when he left, or when they found out he was still alive but dead to them he can't make it any clearer. The whore can just leave. If the kids want a relationship with him they must denounce their whore mother and move to the Caymans. Otherwise they can leave too. The facts are the facts and they are lucky he didn't beat the shit out of the old whore before he left.

The Anon below said it all. The characters changed so much that I found them almost unrecognizable. Personally I think that moving Chelsea to the Cayman's is what gave away his location... Despite the complaints I still would like to know what happens when the family arrives and why he doesn't convince his new lady that they ought to move to Iceland....

I enjoyed the sequel and think that you are bulidng a nice story here. I'd alos like to see what happens next and if Viktor gets away again and if his wife is truly repentant. Please keep this going.

I thought your story was great. I would like to have more of the story to see how victor dealt with his wife and what she did after his "death". Thank you for the update and please continue.

There's a distinctive switch in narrative style from the original author to your part of the story. While Alex_Lover has created a slow-burning deep exploration of the thought processes of a man who suddenly has the foundation of everything he has built during his life crumbling to dust beneath him, your part of the story is more action-based and deals with the rage and the practical consequences. You have a distinctly different narrative style but it fits the story well.

At first I felt that you might have "sugar coated" your ending a little too much - hell, you even spared the dog! However after giving it some thought I came to realize that this is EXACTLY what a good looking, healthy middle aged man with enough money would do. The kids are grown, his wife has turned into a stranger overnight and life is short. Being unable to forgive and forget following a dream is a natural reaction for a man in this situation. Even the disappearance and identity change fits. It's a clean break from a life turned sour and it eliminates the need for lengthy discussions with his family about his decision to leave.

As far as the persons goes, I think you miss the mark slightly. I'm not completely sold on the two people in your story being the ones from Alex_Lover's story. Especially the wife. She was originally portrayed as strong, proud and with a deeply rooted belief that she did nothing wrong. That her cheating was an altruistic act in order to save a good man and never motivated by carnal desires. The fact that she's not really sorry for what she's done and refuses to acknowledge her betrayal of her family is a big part of the drive behind the original story.

Somehow it just doesn't feel right that she falls to pieces as easily as you describe it. I would expect a woman like that to get angry and maybe even accuse her husband of completely blowing things out of proportions. She has lived with her own rationalisation of the affair for decades and it would take a long time for her to see things from his point of view. She would rather expect "him" to see things from "her" perspective after he has had time to reflect on the affair. I also doubt that she would have hidden her e-mail correspondance from him once the affair was out in the open. It's not a big deal to her and she would want to come clean so they could move on. She might even have used the correspondance in her attempt to convince hubby what a wonderful man her former boss was and why she had to do what she did.

Equally you also changed the husband into a different person. Originally he was a strong and controlled ex executive who is used to hide his feelings and carefully consider each step. Selling his belongings is perfectly within his character but the destruction of the pictures and "killing" the dog is not. Even if he was trying to hurt his wife as much as possible, having the pictures would make his absence much more painful for her. He is in effect making it easier for her to get over him and I don't think a man like that would do this.

And of course his reaction towards his children is way out of character. DNA can tell you who the sperm donor is, but that has nothing to do with fatherhood. He IS their father and there is no way that he would use them against their mother is such a callous manner. I do believe that he would write them a letter of explanation and maybe even enclose proof of her affair - not directly but in a sealed container or something with instructions to not open unless needed. He would certainly not mention anything about him possibly not being their real dad. I simply can't see this guy doing something so cruel to his children just to hurt his wife.

Furthermore he would never have destroyed those albums. It would be much more in character for him to have told his wife that he did but secretly have arranged to have them sent to his children a few months after he was gone.

To sum everything up : I like your story a lot. It is well written and I hope you'll take my minor points of critique for what they are - minor. I see your story more as a "branch-off" from Alex_Lovers story than an continuation of it. You have taken inspiration from AL and created your own story with a slightly different - but no less interesting - cast of characters and I hope you will continue the series. I came away with the a sense that there is much more to tell and you did sorta end it with a cliffhanger, right? ;-)

Today two stories were posted that reflect the worst or best(Depending on your point of view) of two of the camps on this site. The cucks and the BTB crowd. Come on guys where's the drama? Not in the pathetic self pity of this story or the RAAC of "A Cheating Cliche" First time I ever gave back to back "1's".