tagReviews & EssaysReview: Size Matters Pt. 01

Review: Size Matters Pt. 01


Size Matters, A Real Sex Xtra – Part One.

Directed by Patti Kaplan.


This show is a documentary presented by HBO.

The show opens with an aerial shot of Las Vegas and K.C. & The Sunshine Band's "Get Down Tonight" plays over the various shots of the Vegas strip. Men are dressed as pimps and their ladies are dressed as whores as they enter a particular club and this segment is called the Pimp 'N Ho Costume Ball. Ladies show their breasts for the cameras and some of they are quite tasty.

The host explains how this came to be. He held a Pimp 'N Ho Costume Party for about 20 friends in his house a few years ago and it was such a smash that the next year, 80 people came the next year. The next year after that, it ballooned to 200 people and it's become larger every year after that. The only requirement is that men come dressed as pimps and women come dressed as hookers. He talks about how large it's grown and the amount of press that they receive from it as he tries on a long purple duster, red shirt and black fedora, which is his pimp costume.

As a woman explains that the party is invitation only and that more women than men are invited because they don't want a sausage fest, we see shots of some of the ladies. Some are extraordinarily beautiful. One woman has a slash of red silk running down her ass crack and can move it by flexing her asshole. Now that's pretty damn interesting! J

They also show that the women play with each other and we see scenes of a woman licking another's ass and two others taking turns licking each other's tits. Another party goer says that most of the people are 9-to-5 workers and they want to blow some steam off. He wants to wear something sexy so that people notice him and he chooses a black silk shirt with red pants to accentuate his gorgeous rock-hard torso. His friend is a designer and both men look stunning.

Another woman states that she is a talent executive and works in television. When she knew she was coming to the Ball, she knew that she had to choose something to make the guys notice her. She chooses a very short nurse's uniform that looks more like a maid's uniform, except that it's blue with a white sailor flap and red stripes.

Everything is for shock value, another woman explains. Ladies and men in some very risqué costumes are shown as well as a pair of ladies Frenching for the cameras. Another man says that everyone is loose and grooving and that some things that he can't talk about on camera were going on last year. The VIP room is shown where an Asian woman with large breasts is getting head while being tongue-kissed. The host says that next year, they're looking at taking it on a four or five stop tour.

The in-between interviews start next. The question posed to the interviewees is what positions do you like? A black man with his beautiful black woman says that he was looking for someone he could take home to his parents but always found that that type was poor in the sack. Now he has someone who is a freak in the bedroom and will do everything nasty thing you can think of. Another couple, an Asian woman and white male, says that their biggest turn-on is doing it anywhere but the bedroom. They mention that on the kitchen floor, doggie style is one of their favorites. A third couple, both white, state that they also like doggie style because she likes feeling his nuts slap against her ass.

The next couple is asked about what fantasy they'd like to do and the woman answers, "A big, slithering orgy." Her man is a little shocked but is turned on by the idea. A group of four woman are asked what about integrating masturbation into your lovemaking and they all shout "Yes!"

The next segment begins with an older white male staring into the camera and saying, "Hi, my name is Ed and I'm a masturbator." Thus begins the Masturbation Club segment. A woman is lying on a table being masturbated by a few other people. The hostess and her husband tell her gathering that Club Relaine is the only heterosexual masturbation club in North America and welcomes a mixture of men and women, mostly middle-aged. They had their first masturbation party over 8 years ago and are still going strong.

They start by getting dressed in something sexy and the fun begins. Anyone is allowed to say 'no' but it seems to operate like a swingers club. Everyone undresses and partners are shared and swapped. One woman explains that she was 12 when she first learned how to masturbate and would do it all the time, anywhere that she could. Another man says that he started at 12 also and that he had a hard-on that wouldn't go down. This went on for a day and a half until he started rubbing his cock and finally had his first ejaculation.

Everyone sits around, discussing masturbation and they decide to start with the newest member, Monica, and a gas mask is placed on her head. She uses a vibrator on herself while others touch, pinch and use other vibrators on her to heighten the experience. After she cums, everyone touches and soothes her. Two women work on another man, one jerking him off while the other kisses and caresses his chest and belly. The hostess says that some people think that they're the only ones masturbating and are very surprised to learn that there's a whole community out there, available to them.

Another set of in-between interviews begin. One man says that he can't go a day without masturbating and it's a necessary to him as going to the gym. A man speaks for his girlfriend and says that she loves to masturbate as he does, too, but she's embarrassed and tries to downplay his answer. A third man states that he once masturbated with a pineapple once and his girlfriend walks away in embarrassment. Another woman says that she's masturbated in front of a partner but found it kind of annoying. Another woman states that she masturbates all the time and her boyfriend agrees, saying that he lets her get started, then joins in.

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