by indianfire
Great chapter! I hope you're alright. Keep it up, looking forward to reading your stories :) Take care!
I think she should stay with Carter because Michael seems controlling and dangerous. I love it so far.
She seems prettydense, so it could go either way. I say let her take them both on, although neither of those guys seem like the type to share. Decent read though.
great submission: Pace, clever lines, real people. I love your writing and am waiting for the next chapter. M. or B.? You figure it out. It'll be well written and interesting either one!
Please let her give Michael another chance, he makes one mistake & she starts fucking his colleague that's messed up! Actually I changed my mind let Michael meet someone new who won't be such a fucking slag!
I agree with Unfair, they both seem too alpha to be in with the sharing bit. But you should make next chapter that Michael finds out. She's in a hard spot now though, she risks hurting Carter now. But I like Michael, so I don't know which one.
The bruising is easy to explain away though some people just bruise easily, Michael's just desperate he just wants her to talk to her. She really is completely stubborn. So maybe you could have Carter talk to her if you intend it to go that way.
Love the triangle you got going here, a group scene would be hot, but it is though about what would fit right for the story. Don't just throw it in there because people ask, if you want it in there yourself because that's how you see it going though that would be awesome
Yes, she is very stubborn, but so am I, so I know how she feels. Perhaps I made her to overreact a little, but people are emotional creatures and sometimes we let emotions cloud our judgement. I would consider a threesome, but I'm not quite sure it would fit either of the male characters in this story. I will, however, think about creating a new story with more flexible male characters.
Thank you all for the comments and feedback. Don't get too angry, whichever way the story goes. I hope you keep reading :)
she is out the door. No explanations, nothing. She is done. On to the next. She does not play. A lot is unresolved with her and Michael. But she will not talk with him. I thought she said she was falling in love with him. She is kinda showing a pattern of men falling in love with her. They mess up. Then she goes and deal with her pain alone. The guys do something stupid like getting physical with her--hurting her, accidentally or on purpose. Im not sure. She then crys her sorrows to another guy. Next thing you know they 're having sex. What makes this new guy so much better? The moment he messes up. She is out.
Wow, this story is great! Maybe Carter could turn out to be a jerk and Mike could save the day? Look forward to seeing how it turns out whichever way she goes.
There are girls out there like Rileigh, that move from guy to guy. It happens, whether it should or shouldn't. There are both men and women out there that move from person to person for no reason other than they want a new fuck. To tell the truth, the story was inspired by a friend of mine, not one of the brightest crayons in the box, but still my friend.
Without conflict, it's hard to have a good story. My hope is that the people who read this story can accept the conflict, for good or bad, and anticipate the solution.
Thanks again for all of the feedback :)
Rileigh needs therapy. She see's Mike with his ex dancing after he told her he was done with her and he likes her. You would think his ex pressured him for one dance but she goes nuts and wont even let him explain. I truthfully dont know who is best for her or if both of the guys should run like hell.
Maybe she did overreact a little, but then again... they HAD just had sex a few minutes before, not to mention he said nothing was going on. I'd feel like that was a slap in the face too, probably. I like the story, and hope 5 doesn't take quite as long!! I think Carter's nice, but she & Mike have unresolved issues. Not sure which way she should go. They did fall for each other kind of quickly. Maybe keep Carter around, but she keeps wondering 'what if' w/ Mike? Like, maybe she overreacted a little, but he's got to win her back. Co-worker drama seems to be inevitable? Can't wait!
I'm almost afraid to write a chapter five...
Right now I'm working on the fourth charpter of Lori and Jonah. I hope to have that up within a week or so.
Hey Indianfire!
Keep it up! I love your stories and I've read all of them!
It'd be nice to see happy endings in all of them...as it is rare in real life, agree? ;)
Where's Soldier's Gypsy?
My aim is always toward a happy ending, thought there will always be someone that wishes it would end another way.
I hadn't gotten much feedback on A Soldier's Gypsy, so I didn't think there would be many people interested in another chapter. I normally write more chapters to the stories that have good feedback. I'll try to find time to write more to it now, I'm just very busy. I'm a full time student now, but I also work a lot too. I do try to keep up with my writing though.
Thank you very much for your comments, :). Always feel free to e-mail if you'd like.
(indianfire_writer@yahoo.com)
I kind of like the love triangle! Let Rileigh have more time with new guy but I guess she does really love Michael.
this is great! Carter seems like a really great guy and they have so much in common. and they didn't jump into the sex right away -- although that was really hot. Why do i have a feeling though that Michael will bump into her again, she'll finally listen to him to make him go away, but... that'll only make her feelings for Michael stronger? ... I have a feeling Carter will get hurt... but.. in his way he'll understand. too bad, he's such a nice guy. haha that's just what i see from this! i really enjoy reading your writing! I can't wait for the next chapter please :)
I like Carter. Michael is a douche and doesn't deserve her. He didn't just "date her once" he was engaged to the wench. Get the girl Carter!!
You write very well. Alot of stories I see around have made up words or the punctuation is weird. I'm an English/Teaching major so finding someone who has good writing skills is often what keeps me into a story. You've done a wonderful job so far. Keep up your good work and good luck with school.
Thank you English Major, I hope I would make my own English teacher proud. My first English teacher in college was a stickler for punctuation, so it was hard not to pick up good habits.
As far as the series goes, I finally gathered the guts to write the next chapter. I think it's almost done, so it should hopefully be up within the next week or so.
As always, thank you for reading! :)
She sould go back to micheal because the other guys is playing her