Robbie 04

Robbie 04

"Hi, Gale Storms from TV3 News, coming to you live from Big John's Pig Roast on Middleton's cash rich north-east side and viewers, this ranch is over flowing with Lil Ladies promo Lil Ladies and they have gone totally global, so if you didn't get invited to Big John's Pig Roast, then you're trailer trash and you should just stay in western corner of Middleton and whack off while peeping into the next double wide trailer! Anyways, I'm here today, about to go lesbian for all these sexy Lil Ladies prancing all about and I'm first talking to the newest Asian Lil Lady, Lil Nico Nick Nack and trust me, since I don't want my clothes sliced off with a sword, again, I'm trying to be nice today. So, Lil Nico Nick Nack, Lil Nico Nick Nack, Lil Nico Nick Nack, tell my viewers, how you feel about fem boy Robbie making it two weeks without being hog tied in a cargo ship in just his undies and what were you and Big John talking about just now, go ahead."

"Ah, Gale Storms from TV3 News, Lil Nico Nick Nack happy Robbie not going to faggot town and also think we be good size match, but Momma San kill both and Momma San feed Robbie to cats! And Big Han ask me slice up dead pig blinded folded, Lil Nico Nick Nack mwahahaha happy, Gale Storms from TV3 News. Lil Nico Nick Nack slice dead pig motor footing thousand slices, mwahahaha, but no slice pig spin guy, Marty San, no want Marty San run like squealing piggy, but play hide the sword with cute Marty San, mwahahaha."

"There you have it viewers, if you haven't gotten sex from fem boy Robbie yet and you are out of Big Momma Grease, buy a can of cat food for your whacking off mushy lube. So, Lil Char Can, Lil Char Can, Lil Char Can, as the Aussie of the promo squads, tell my viewers, what's harder, wrestling with crocodiles or rejecting men and my live board feed is blowing up for you three Lil Aussie Ladies, so, for my viewers, Lil Char Can, what's it going to take to keep the Lil Down Under Aussie squad here in Middleton for more than a month, go ahead."

"Mate, Gale Storms from TV3 News, that's a tie with the crocodiles and the man mates, mate, LOL. And we're committed to HCMPP, Her Colorful Majesty Peacock Penny, for the length of our stay, but HCMPP has a survey open on the Lil Ladies promo Chang homepage, so, Telly viewers, hop to it like a Kangaroo and vote, mates!"

"There you have it viewers, HCMPP is taking names, keeping tabs, counting your votes and will release a "how to hop on it" video once the votes have been counted. So, viewers, viewers, viewers, if any of you are not a fan of Kakhi, well, oh boy, men, women, fem boys, tomboys, you're all just fucking stupid! So, Lil Char Can, Lil Char Can, Lil Char Can, tell my viewers how the three Lil Aussie Down Under Ladies manage to achieve such absolutely perfect cuff roll ups on your safari shorts and shirts, go ahead."

"Mate, Gale Storms from TV3 News, tee he, we took an advance from the big bag of money and hired Eric to take care of that, tee he, that's Eric just over there, tee he!"

"There you have it viewers [pan the camera, Harold], Eric the cuff rolling expert is a chiseled statute and once again, my pantyhose are getting soaking wet while broadcasting live! Again! Anyways, Big John, Big John, Big John, tell my viewers, Big John, just how in the hell is your wife not going to gut you like a pig after having all of this Lil Ladies 20 something pussy running around half naked, go ahead."

"Tee he, Gale Storms from TV3 News, this is actually a divorce finalized Pig Roast party and it sucks like hell that I'm not 20 years younger, but listen TV land, come on down, we have plenty of roasted pig that the little Lil girl with the crazy eyes is going to start slicing up with her sword while blind folded real soon, I have tennis courts on the ranch that those Lil White Skirt Ladies are taking care of and made one into a Pickle Ball court, we have Horse Shoes that the Lil Asian Ladies are challenging by swiping the horse shoes out of the air with their swords, we have ax throwing that the Lil Black Jacket Ladies are tending too and they added knife throwing and goth girls are just to hot to argue with, we have stocked fishing pond that the Lil Down Under Aussie Ladies are demonstrating how to catch fish with your bare hands all the while in Kakhi, um, can I say "bra and panties" on TV Gale Storms from TV3 News, well, in Kakhi lingerie and we modified the upper floor of the barn and refreshed the double doors as a perch for that crazy bird girl, because that's what she was squawking about and she scares the bejesus out of me, so come on down."

"There you have it viewers, Big John just now realizes that he spent too much on the sheep ranch when he was in his twenties since he just now discovered how hot Lil Goth girls are! And men, men, men, if your fishing partner is not wearing lingerie that soaks to see through when wet, well, go buy yourself a tube of Big Momma Grease and cry about it! What else, Big John, what else?"

"Well, Gale Storms from TV3 News, I'm glad you asked that. Folks, I do have a couple of horses down here on the ranch, but it's only a rumor that there will be some sort of Lil Mulan vs Lil Lady Godiva riding bare back battle going on at 7pm, but I'm totally losing control of my own Pig Roast party to HCMPP, so I don't know what the fuck might happen and I don't know a lot about this stuff at all, but that Robbie is certainly getting his fair share of attention and I definitely don't know what the dispute is between that crazy bird girl, HCMPP and the named disputed petite Lil Creamy Black Ladies, but it's the most amazing stand off of pouty lips and up turned noses that I ever saw, but they are here, tee he, Tre, Tre from the south side. And well, folks, LOL, we have absolutely nothing for the kiddies, but HCMPP took some cash from the big bag of money and hired a couple of Lil Old Ladies to oversee activities at the park at the end of the street, so, come on down, folks!"

"There you have it viewers, Big John's Pig Roast has something for everyone and do whatever you can to dump the kiddies off with grandma because I saw the Lil Old Ladies swigging a bottle of Moonshine and it might nappy nap time soon for them and Tre, Tre from the south side, they might be in a pouty lip and turned up noses stand off with HCMPP, but those asses, right? And Robbie is working the kissing booth, so come on down y'all, he ha! [Cut Harold]."

I was not working the kissing booth. I was booted out when someone figured out it could be turned into a glory hole booth with just a hole saw. I did not work the glory hole booth. I was booted out by the married neighborhood women while some of their hubby's were distracted by the umpteen petite promo Lil Ladies running around. Apparently, because that's what they do.

"Are you day dreaming, Robbie?"

"Oh, Melvin, tee he, I mean I wasn't day dreaming about a glory hole or how one could be built on my patio with minimal materials or anything, tee he, because that's not what I do so, Melvin, this is quite the Pig Roast, right?"

[Flying slices of roasted pig that apparently meant to be caught in midair like self-service]

"[Gotcha!] Yum, yum, num, num, you can't beat roasted hog, Robbie! So, I'm going to get forward and blunt with you, so, run away from me or catch a couple of slices of hog that the Lil Crazy Eyes babe is slinging around from her sword!"

"[Gotcha!] Hah, do you think I'm afraid of a little forward and blunt then, Melvin? Yum, yum, num, num, bring it! But be nice, tee he."

"Well, Robbie, the word is that you caused a bit of a stir, a little havoc and a side of chaos over at Biff's place the other night, so, to make sure that I hear both sides of the story and because I would like better details, were you prancing around Biff's place for a half of an hour in your undies? And details are very important, tee he, so?"

"Oh, first of all, Melvin, well, did someone actually say that there was a stir, some havoc and a side of chaos because that's the type of details that I want to hear about! Oh, ahem, after we clean our teeth from this sweet ass hog [yum, num, yum, num] you and I are smacking lips for you telling me that, but the truth..."

"Oops, back up please, Robbie!"

Oh, he heard me. I would trade a little tongue tagging for more information on how I, ahem, caused a stir, started a little havoc and then served up a side of chaos! And I more than half dressed!

"Melvin, the truth is, I was there for over a half of hour, I spent a little time with Biff and then I may or may not have dropped my Denim shorts for a little while in front of his Pickle Ball buddies, but nobody touched anybody and other than Hank sliding a blanket over me as I laid on the couch and copped a cheap feel from my ankles to my back, it was all harmless. So, stirring, havoc and chaos you say then, hmm? Did anyone say anything about any crumbling and crying, huh?"

Well, I suppose making out before flossing wasn't the worse thing.

[Mwah, grind, ummah, bump, smack, smooch, oomph, mwah, mwah, smooch smack]

"Ahem, we are in public on a ranch at a Pig Roast, Melvin!"

[Mwah, grind, ummah, bump, smack, smooch, oomph, mwah, mwah, smooch smack]

"Fine, I pranced around a little bit, which maybe created a stir and a little havoc and I definitely twisted around to bring chaos into the mix, but, Melvin, my soul is free now and besides and repeat after me, I had on, from inside to out, a pair of satin Forest Green hip hugger undies with a full back, one pair only because of how I'm built, a pair of thin ankle tights, which don't stretch as sheer on me as they do on women with a little meat on their thighs, but they were as thin as I could find to fit me and over that, well, pretty standard fishnets, only in neon glowing green, so, I was covered up, but you could have counted the blemishes on my legs, if I had any blemishes on my legs or for short, it was innocent, so?"

"Oh, Robbie, there was absolutely nothing innocent about anything you just explained in perfect detail, unless innocent is exactly the same as hot! So, Robbie..."

[Mwah, grind, ummah, bump, smack, smooch, oomph, mwah, mwah, smooch smack]

"How do I ask you if that's something that you do now without getting in trouble with you then, hmm?"

"Oh, that's not something that I do now, Melvin, but it is something that I did and I did it with purpose, but I was just in a mood of sorts and I was fancy dressed and I was curious about a few things and that was last Thursday and today is Saturday and to be honest, Melvin, I'm about out of words, so?"

[Mwah, grind, ummah, bump, smack, smooch, oomph, mwah, mwah, smooch smack]"

"Well, I'm still out or words, Melvin and you're obviously not in trouble with me and your hog is as tasty as my wild hog, but I must ask of you to not ask me to stop by unexpectedly during your next card game, if card games are something that you host and seriously, Melvin, I'm out of words!"

[Mwah, grind, ummah, bump, smack, smooch, oomph, mwah, mwah, smooch smack]

"And don't even think about asking me to stop by un-announced at your next motorcycle round up thingy boys club thingamajig either, Melvin, so?"

[Mwah, grind, ummah, bump, smack, smooch, oomph, mwah, mwah, smooch smack]

"Today I'm wearing two pairs of undies, a maroon thong under black bikini style, capri tights, thicker exercise under shorts and my new pig roast on a ranch Denim shorts, so?"

[Mwah, grind, ummah, bump, smack, smooch, oomph, mwah, mwah, smooch smack]

"Melvin, did you want to see if there are any bales of hay available up in the barn? Being surrounded by at least six bales of hay is like my thirteenth dream, so?"

[Mwah, grind, ummah, bump, smack, smooch, oomph, mwah, mwah, smooch smack]

Well, at least I didn't have think of any more words to say, so.

Now, I'm not afraid to have sex and I'm not afraid to tell you if Melvin got lucky with me in the barn at Big John's Pig Roast, but all I can honestly say is that, tee he, there was a line for bales of hay in the upper barn and Melvin became nervous about that, so, basically, it ended up being all innocent.

End Robbie 04